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Coming out to my wife? Help please!!!

Mommicatsdl

Mommicatsdl

Est. Contributor
Messages
53
Role
  1. Diaper Lover
  2. Little
I was recently in a coma from sepsis pnuemonia and aspiration and was diaper in the hospital after waken up for a few days before regaining continence and going home. I brought a bag of clothes home and also snagged a few diapers. My wife found them asking me why the hell are there diapers here. I pretended to be asleep and she dropped it.

A month later the diapers are still there. (I have a different hidden stash). I've had the fetish and wear privately sometimes. On my birthday I was drunk and cuddling and said I have something weird to tell you that's kind of embarrassing to tell you. I said nevermind I forget a few times, but she begged me to tell her, I said she'd think I was weird, than finally told her. I told her when I was in the hospital I kinda liked the way the diapers felt and brought three home. (I've always been a DL but this was the most normal way I could think to break the ice). She said yeah I saw them, don't wear them though. All I said was ok mommicat.

We're cat lovers and we do roleplay and babytalk occasionally, and frequently I call her mommi which she likes and she calls me mommis little dyly or a good little boy. That's as far as our ageplay goes. I met her when I was 18 and she was 25 and I'm now 25 and she's 32. She did do everything for me for a few years until I grew up and became stable and will do anything for me as I would her. I have mommy issues and she is my "mommicat" and has been a mommy in a lot of ways. I love her and would die for her and rather be dead without her. But I've also done terrible things to her for which she's still loved me unconditionally and never hurt me back. I have grown up and realized I can't continue to hurt her and became a husband in that sense over 2 years ago. Our relationship is more important than my diaper fetish. But I also know she loves me unconditionally. She's a drop dead gorgeous Filipina who's won beauty pageants years ago who also a very successful professional with a master's degree. I'm a handsome charismatic and since just recently successful sales executive who was just until two years ago mommys little boy toy type. But she has always loved and respected me I'm also the dominant one in our sex life which is still great.

**With all of this background I am looking for advice on to how to convince her how to let me wear diapers occasionally.**

By the way I'm healthy now with no medical issues.

Just so you have the background
 
Thanks DanielW
And other opinions are also greatly appreciated
 
Often it takes time for a spouse to get their mind around someone who wants to wear diapers. All I can really suggest is to be patient. You might be able to reach a compromise where you can wear on your own time with her not involved.
 
So I have told around 10 women over the years about my diaper fetish ... all women I used to date and my wife. I have only had one bad experience, the majority of the time they were understanding and supportive. I think a lot of us in the ABDL community are way to into our heads, but like DanielW says, most people are pretty open minded, so don't stress about it. You are probably imagining the absolute worst case scenario in your head, but I doubt it will come to that.

When you do sit down to talk to her, my advice would be to be direct and to the point. Just explain that you like wearing them and that you are sorry you didn't tell her sooner. Just be open and honest about whatever questions she asks. If she doesn't want to have a conversation about it right away, that's ok to. She might need time to think. If she isn't familiar with ABDL at all (which is likely based on my experience) then give her a brief explanation and offer some reading material. I think the site http://understanding.infantilism.org/ is great for this.

Just be cautious about overwhelming her at this point. If she asks about specifics, just say something like, "well yes I have these fantasies and I like to wear diapers and I'm hoping it's something I can involve you with, but we don't have to talk about that until you are ready."
 
I just had the real talk with my wife in the last two weeks. I say that because it is not one conversation. We are figuring things out, and working on ti together. There are some good books for her perspective. I've read through one, and in the second one now. I'm compiling everything in a blog that has been great for me as I've been figuring out things myself as we've been working together. Please feel free to reach out to me here, Twitter, or Instagram to talk more if you'd like. Also, my blog is in my signature below. Check it out, as we are in similar places.

Echoing above, be honest and direct. The other thing I would share is that the simple step of "I want to wear diapers" isn't as easy or a single step for her. You will need to figure out some baby steps to really help make it consumable for her.
 
I had been planning on working on this post and make it better, but I've had a few people asking about similar things so I went ahead and posted it. Here is what I was talking about "baby steps"

aberrantlyme.home.blog

Baby Steps

By far the most eye-opening and revelatory thing I have learned since the series of conversations that my wife and I have had is “baby steps.” I have lived with diapers in some fashion…
aberrantlyme.home.blog aberrantlyme.home.blog
 
I'd say just be super honest with her. I have not been in the past and I found it did me no favors and only hurt the relationship as I always felt like I was hiding something. With my current gf I was very honest early on about my diaper fetish but also super open to all her questions and any problems she may have with it. She is not at all from kink/fetish world but has been very open minded and supportive of me wearing. We have a fantastic regular sex life (something I haven't always had with others) and respect it will probably be awhile before diapers are a part of that.
I know it is very scary, I hid this from many people for a very long time and it was a very long time before I got to a place where I could be honest and open about it with someone. I will say I have also been seeing a kink/abdl positive therapist for the past year and that has also helped me in a lot of ways with the shame and acceptance of it for myself.
 
It’s not as weird as you may think. My wife has diapered me for 35 years. She actually enjoys it! Dealing with telling her at the beginning was easy. Why? Because honesty breeds honesty. It never made her crazy, upset or anything. She diapers me every night. Makes me wear them every day. BUT, never embarrasses me. Risky stuff, sometimes, but always away from local area.
 
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