Nice to see a CG thread to share ideas and experiences, would be nice to have a forum for it though I could see it getting overrun with requests for a mummy/daddy/CG, would have to be well moderated.
I am tending much more toward the CG/daddy side of things lately, I don't have a little of my own and have only had a couple chances to be a CG so far, looking to build on that but would like to be able to switch and be little now and then.
Just thought I'd post here for my take on this.
cannamommy said:
Rules while wearing are follow the plushie rule, we have plushie that indicate wether I as mommy, am willing to change wet or messy diapers or if I’m not in the mood for changes at all.
He must be discrete when our daughter is home but can enjoy whatever level of clothing he chooses when she is not in the house .
Routines vary but I do diaper him before bed and if necessary will change him in the night.
I've been chatting to someone on here recently and was talking about how not only rules and boundaries are important but also understanding one another, not so hard maybe if you are married or with a long time partner who you have gotten used to visual indicators, but if looking after a little or littles on more short term or "play day" basis I have been working on a Colour coding system.
So for me I would have something like bracelets/necklaces/hairbows/ribbons etc. That the little one can wear on their person, all in different colours. They would need to have free access to these and an change them as their mood/feelings change (though for some there may be rules about how often/when they can do so), each colour would represent a particular thing that they want/need at that time.
So for example:
White="I feel like an innocent baby and I just want to be loved, supported and treated kindly and have you completely take charge"
Yellow="I'm feeling bit bigger right now, I'm not a baby but not yet a big boy/girl, give me some freedom and let me make some choices but please don't scold or punish me harshly"
Orange="I'm feeling a bit cheeky and I may misbehave, if I do please tell me off and punish me but no corporal punishment"
Red=Similar to orange but with the additional acceptance of spankings
Black="I want to be an adult"
There would be other colours and these "rules" are not necessarily set they can be adapted to whatever you both need/want and could even be combined to create different outcomes.
The CG would also need to have a set for themselves that have different meanings depending on their moods.
For Example:
Black="I need a little space for myself/I need to recharge/I have a lot of work to do, please don't pester me for a bit", It can be hard looking after a little one and sometimes you just need a break.
Orange="I'm in a fragile mood, please try to be good and considerate"
Yellow="I'm in a playful mood let's find something fun to do"
Green="I'm feeling a little sick/under the weather please be gentle, I'd rather not have lots of toys to tidy/dirty nappies etc. today"
And so on, the whole idea of this being that both of you can tell at a glance how the other is feeling and what they want/what to expect. without having to break any kind of headspace to discuss it, or if you have other littles coming for a playdate everyone has that base level of recognition.
Of course you would have other rules regarding what happens and what you are willing to do depending on the circumstances, but this would help everyone better understand each other and hopefully smooth out the experiences.
What do you think?
