Advice for an incontinent relative

[KenworthW900b]

So I was talking to my 86 year old grandfather this afternoon and he told me that after having a colostomy reversal he's been dealing with both bladder and bowel incontinence which his doctors have assured him is normal after the reversal and will continue to improve but have also warned him that with his upcoming hernia surgery he may need diapers for a year or perhaps more.

He normally does not discuss medical stuff at all but since we almost lost him 2 years ago he's been pretty open about it, I want to help him but I don't really know anything about bowel incontinence and as close as he and I are we've never really discussed my urinary incontinence at all.

What can I do to help him? I don't even know what diapers are good for bowel incontinence since I've very rarely had any sort of issues with that and I'm sure he's just using whatever the drugstore in middle of nowhere Alabama has so I'd like to at least find him some decent products that will work well but also for him to know there is nothing to be ashamed of or fret over AND most importantly that he's not alone.

 

[Andrea67]

I would try the Northshore products. They are reliable and work really well for urinary and bowel incontinence. I have never had a leak with these. I hope you find something that works well for your grandfather.

 

[mattyd]

Sadly online stores are where you will have to go. I do vote for north shore as well. LLMedico will probably be a better option in terms of figuring out what works best and fit though. They have most of their products available in samples. I say try several brands and see what works and fits best. They have rewards and free shipping, often have promos around holidays for some money off. If a veteran, they have some discounts too. Stick with stuff with inner leg gatherers to help with keeping contained.

 

[Edgewater]

Thank you for wanting to help your grandfather. Your caring will melt his heart as he has likely been hiding this for sometime and having someone to honestly talk to and provide him help will be heart-sent love.

Yes, the good folks at NorthShore have a full line of excellent products that range vastly in cost based on need and will talk with you to define specific products based on need. Plan a long and open discussion with your grandfather, first, you may even want to bridge the fact that you are incontinent as well. But, that is a comfort line you choose to cross or not. But, It may likely easy his fears of being more open with you.

Again, thank you, for wanting to help your grandfather.

 

[Bigbabybret]

Yes again northshore.

And they will send samples, talk to them and give them the info as to his size and then need and they will be able to give you a good idea of the type of things they have that will work.

When it comes to service they are great.

I know they are not the cheapest, but being leaks are not fun and bowl ic is not either, i will have that from time to time usually when my system goes totally awry as i'm usually needing meds to help go.

But, contact north shore and they can give you the low down on the products.

Myself i've just decided to go with megamax all the time, stop switching types and stocking multiple and then just stop 99% of the leaks, costs i think are about the same, as you need less of the megamax, and myself i can pull them down and back up as i have NO hips which in this case is a plus, so in the unlikely event that i make the bathroom, then i can maybe save a diaper.

As for talking about your IC that is a personal choice but i hightly doubt he will be judgemental to say the least and may make it easier to talk about issues and/or options openly with you.

Also, myself for night i use a booster, pair of cotton briefs over the diaper and a diaper cover (trifecta from North shore lately), the cotton between the layers will absorb any drips that get by else it just stays there and ends up working its way out, as when sleeping you can get a drip or two by whils on your side or something and its cheap insurance.

Oh, get a good matress cover with the velour type of top they work good andhave them on amazon.

 

[SparkyDog]

You've gotten several decent recommendations on products already but the big question is will he use them. If he won't it's more time for a conversation how to help him dealing with that vs what diaper to get. Lot of seniors struggle with having to wear diapers.
If he's on board great and lots of great diaper advice but he may not want diapers especially tape on ones

 

[Bigbabybret]

Whilst i do agree with if he is not wanting diapers there will be more conversations for sure.

But, givent the dr told him such and also he is aperantly talking about it....

But, comes down to the end result, that he will need a tape on diaper in all likelyhood to accomodate both bowel and urine.

I cant think of any pullup or alike that will do very well in that regard.

If he is against using diapers (least they are disposable these days and not only cloth) he will be having a real hard time.

Given he has been though having a bag and reversal i dont think he is not aware of the issues and the fact it will be a while there is really not going to be much of a choice really.

Also, a diaper cover will help with containing the smell too, and also might want to get some the big wipes as well for him too...