Acceptance

[AUG168]

So my u-incontinence adventure started 3 years ago. I started using light shields but within a year switched to Abena and Tena pads. After a few nighttime leaks I started using Threaded Armor training pants at night or a pullup.

I've tried various meds and have had side effects. So no more meds and now more leaking. I've gone back and forth with pads and pullups. After a couple of leaks I made the decision to wear pullups full time. Yesterday I cleaned out the underwear drawer. That's a big step for me, no more back and forth. It's time to just accept where I am. Part of the problem with incontinence for me has been the variability in my incontinence and the mental heartache. Well, no more!

 

[NotTheAverageMan]

It’s a bumpy road, that’s for sure. I still keep my underwear, I use it to cover my diaper and provide some support during nighttime and to avoid tapes getting unstuck (I use tape diapers).

 

[chamberpot]

It’s a bumpy road, that’s for sure. I still keep my underwear, I use it to cover my diaper and provide some support during nighttime and to avoid tapes getting unstuck (I use tape diapers).

I am the same .. always have jockey shorts over my diapers

 

[slimjiminy]

So my u-incontinence adventure started 3 years ago. I started using light shields but within a year switched to Abena and Tena pads. After a few nighttime leaks I started using Threaded Armor training pants at night or a pullup.

I was diagnosed about 3 years ago also (I'm now in my 4th year). In my case it has been attributed to diabetes caused nerve damage. So if my bladder becomes nearly full, I cannot hold it and I become U-IC. During the day, this tends to be less of an issue if I just keep using the toilet often enough to prevent my bladder from getting full.

But along the way, another problem started: F-IC because of diarrhea. When it happens, it is so strong that I am unable to hold it back. I've had a few instances of F-IC in the day time. For that reason mostly, I wear pull-ups though I sometimes U-IC fail late at night before I head to bed. Quitting coffee mostly, and some other foods has helped a lot.

Because my bladder fills at night, I have been wearing a night diaper and plastic pants. I don't always wake up wet, but it does happen from time to time. Even if I wake up dry, I'll pee myself before I get to the toilet from sitting up/standing.

So ya, this has been an "adventure" of sorts. One that I wish would just stop but reality keeps smacking me down again. I don't think I've fully accepted yet.

 

[SparkyDog]

Way to take the step the back & forth is tiring
Glad the pullups are working well for you and keeping your IC under the best control you can.
Its definitely a bit of a rollercoaster ride isn't it?

 

[PadPhilosopher]

I'm being emotional support for someone on that roller coaster. She's having a rough time of it. Past cruelty to her is making it more difficult than it should be, but I don't think it's ever really easy. It's never nice to feel betrayed by your own body, but you are not your body any more than you are your car. Some of us have cars that leak enough they should wear protection, but we don't take it personally because it's not us; it's a vehicle. Likewise, our bodies are a vehicle that carries the real us, our human spirit, where it needs to be to do the things which make us human. Some of our bodies, like some of our cars, look better and work better than others' bodies, but they don't define us. We are people, conquering spirits, overcomers of challenges, and accomplishers of things. It seems that the more we focus on this, rather than the limitations of our bodies--we all have some--the more we enjoy life.

I don't know if that helps, but it's meant to help. I hope it does.

 

[greatlake5]

I've always been IC (profoundly F-IC along with U-IC). I never had the chance to try pull-ups or just pads. So there really hasn't been any "roller coaster." When I was younger, I struggled. Especially when I went to school. I would try to toilet training myself (sitting on a toilet for hours). More failures than successes. I even tried pull-ups. Yeah, right. Too many embarrassing leaks. I was connected with a remarkable therapist ( my mom
[the Galway Girl] who insisted meeting her). It took years to learn how to accept my IC. It was a slow process. Eventually I got to the point that being diaper dependent does not define me. I admit that I still struggle from time to time but for that most part, I found that it's easier to embrace wearing a diaper. In fact, there really isn't any better alternatives.

 

[Bigbabybret]

So, yes accepting the things you cant change/fix is a big step in things, and takes time.

I prob had an easy time, as i was always in diapers at night so never had a change in that way, and always had some amount of need to just goto the bathroom wether i needed to or not (feeling wise) to avoid the running to the bathroom at the last min and/or not making it, that has been an issue for me forever.

Now, after some other issues with an accident I ended up 24/7 and even that took me a while to accept it and just go about my life. I am also mostly in a wheelchair when out anyplace i have to walk much so, being in a wheelchair makes it not that big a deal if somone was to see a diaper, as really being in a wheelchair and alike is going to be noticed and the fact that i have IC as well as issues needing a wheelchair isnt that much extra so to speak.

But, even with the "easy" transition as to diapers, i still had quite a bit of time to accept the whole thing, even taking lots of pain killers to try to go as much as i can without an wheelchair and end up in bed for the next couple days after, to wearing more clothes and being more hot trying the hide a diaper or often just not going out or doing things was all something i did.

I see it at this point that being IC is just the same as needing glasses to see, it's not my fault, and its the best option to make things as normal as can be.

I wear a diaper to keep things dry and to allow me to be more than a min away from a bathroom, go outside the house and not have as much cleanup of things.

It's the best option for me (health wise) to use a diaper and keep things from getting wet and/or needing to change clothes and/or pads on the chair and/or other means to keep things sanitary.

So, yes it's a hard thing to accept, just know that you are doing the adult things in using the proper devices/things to manage your IC for you and allow you to maintain your wellbeing whilst not effectng others at the minimum, all that is the correct and adult things to be doing and that overall anyone that might see a diaper is going to know that your are doing what is best for you and keeping things overall sanitary for others.

You hang in there and just know that the choice is yours to use a diaper to manage IC or other means and that the options available are getting better every year. And that accepting the IC issues will come with time andknow that this community is here to bounce ideas or issues off of anytime you want/need.

 

[Neroforte]

Same here fully diaper 247 I still have my underwear to cover my diaper that how it's work for me. Yes incontinence is very bunpy road last two weeks I had test to the doctor because my incontinence getting worst so yeah take one day at time

 

[uknappygirl]

I have had some form of wetting/IC since I was young so I guess I never really had much of an option of anything else. I did find that accepting things and just getting on with wearing diapers allowed me to focus on other aspects of my life. It's not easy though and there are definitely ups and downs. I just try to take each day as it comes and not worry about it too much. xx

 

[Edgewater]

I have been 24/7, U-IC, as a result of a car crash 47 years ago!

Over all those years, there have been struggles, mainly with my accepting the reality of my wearing diapers. Having had kids and grandkids, have helped, but also watching them grow thru toilet training and moving on had its down moments!

I was a young man, with a wife and a son not yet a year old. I enjoyed my profession and was on a very strong growth curve, plus like everyone else, I had monthly bills. I had to get out that front door and back to work. Diapers provided me that gateway. My dear wife diapered me and with drug store plastic pants, she, our son and I went out that front door and I never looked back.

Acceptance is not easy, nor is everyday like the day before as IC does not care if you have a busy day, meeting, nor travel. IC does not care.

I have long ago come to accept that I wear diapers, all day, everyday, and always will. Yes, there are difficult days /nights and there is no escape from the reality that I wear diapers.

My acceptance has been helped by coming to understand that my wearing diapers, keep the World Around Me a Drier Place!

 

[Traveler]

I have been 24/7, U-IC, as a result of a car crash 47 years ago!

Over all those years, there have been struggles, mainly with my accepting the reality of my wearing diapers. Having had kids and grandkids, have helped, but also watching them grow thru toilet training and moving on had its down moments!

I was a young man, with a wife and a son not yet a year old. I enjoyed my profession and was on a very strong growth curve, plus like everyone else, I had monthly bills. I had to get out that front door and back to work. Diapers provided me that gateway. My dear wife diapered me and with drug store plastic pants, she, our son and I went out that front door and I never looked back.

Acceptance is not easy, nor is everyday like the day before as IC does not care if you have a busy day, meeting, nor travel. IC does not care.

I have long ago come to accept that I wear diapers, all day, everyday, and always will. Yes, there are difficult days /nights and there is no escape from the reality that I wear diapers.

My acceptance has been helped by coming to understand that my wearing diapers, keep the World Around Me a Drier Place!

Reading this is super helpful to me! I came into this world of absorbent clothing through some unresolved trauma as a kid that, at this point I have written off and will maybe someday discover in my later years, or maybe not. All I know is I've accepted it and my wife accepted it. At a bare minimum it has led me to understand other's journeys. This forum is a wonderful spectrum of folks who have found themselves in what I call "thicker underwear" for reasons that are too many to list. My wife is a RN and I have been in the first responder field for my entire career so at this point I just want people who struggle with acceptance to know they're not alone in their feelings, curiosities and desires. We're all human.
Edited to say that I struggle with kind of the opposite of UIC, but I find a lot of acceptance and information from this community. Basically I struggle with sometimes crippling shy bladder (paruresis) where I'm terrified to release around other people, and in my high stress job I sometimes have to release 30ml of pee in a little bottle directly in front of another person to prove I'm not using any drugs. I usually have to hydrate to unhealthy levels just to force my bladder muscles to let go of a few drops, then basically suffer though essentially forced incontinence for the rest of my day until my bladder recovers from the shock. Its stupidly unhealthy and I'm ending my 20+ year job largely over it and moving to a new career field. I just want people to know that this part of life CAN but DOESN'T have to define us.

 

[CrossfireHurricane]

Acceptance has an option. If you chose that you don't accept your IC, I suggest that you won't be a happy person. You don't have to dislike having to wear a diaper. Most of us, at least for myself, I've chosen the logical decision. I admit that when I was younger I struggled to find a place where I could live "okay" while wearing a diaper. I've been incontinent since I was a very young child. Longtime IC people usually accept their circumstances. I followed that when I was a kid until I went to school. That's where the struggle started. My parents, loving, logically intelligent and educated, they helped me on that journey. It doesn't hurt that therapy turned me in that positive direction. After I went to college, graduated and got a job, I'm now a teacher and guidance counselor. Having to wear a diaper doesn't stop me from enjoying my work, my friends and my family. Clearly, there was still a strain. All of us feel that. Even if you don't admit that. I'm almost 40 now but I've got to the point that accepting IC gets easier every day. I chose the right option.

 

[Dinotopian2002]

I became chronically sick and disabled as a teen and had to wear diapers again because I kept having accidents.

Having now reached a point where I’m been diapered over half my life, and my whole adult life, I’m pretty used to it now.

It took a long time, but I’ve reached a point where I’m not ashamed of my padding or that I need to wear it. All my family and friends know - we don’t talk about it much but it’s not a guilty secret.

As awkward and embarrassing as this can be, it’s much less so than having accidents everywhere. My diapers keep everything under wraps and help me feel confident. And part of me likes how comfy they are too.

Breathe Deep, Seek Peace
Dinotopian2002

 

[michaelmc]

It’s a bumpy road, that’s for sure. I still keep my underwear, I use it to cover my diaper and provide some support during nighttime and to avoid tapes getting unstuck (I use tape diapers).

Me too !

 

[sledder23]

So my u-incontinence adventure started 3 years ago. I started using light shields but within a year switched to Abena and Tena pads. After a few nighttime leaks I started using Threaded Armor training pants at night or a pullup.

I've tried various meds and have had side effects. So no more meds and now more leaking. I've gone back and forth with pads and pullups. After a couple of leaks I made the decision to wear pullups full time. Yesterday I cleaned out the underwear drawer. That's a big step for me, no more back and forth. It's time to just accept where I am. Part of the problem with incontinence for me has been the variability in my incontinence and the mental heartache. Well, no more!

I’ve been full time urge incontinent for the last 4 years or so as a result of my type 2, and my acceptance came similar to yours when I got rid of my regular underwear and replaced what was in that drawer with diaper covers and compression shorts. I’m ok with managing incontinence with diapers as they keep up with my busy and active lifestyle.

There’s been lots of great advice here, and as time goes on, wearing diapers just becomes a normal part of life. Wishing you the best in this journey!

 

[CptKirk]

For me, acceptance was necessary. I am a people person. I am at my best and happiest amongst friends, be they new friends or long term friends! I lived for most of a year afraid to leave the house and that did not do me ANY good and truly HURT, as I wound up badly depressed! Since then, I've self determined to ignore anyone who might have anything negative to say (as well as scare the ever living shit out of them, if it coms to that, but that's ALWAYS been who I am, at least since puberty!) but that was a one time incident and I have been apologized to ENDLESSLY since that day by that person.
My outlook is this. NO ONE is going to KNOW I'm wearing a diaper under normal circumstances and if they do notice and didn't already know? good for them. THAT is out of my control. I have to live MY life, and my life NEEDS being around people. I get in some pretty dark spaces after being alone for too long (for instance, not able to stand/walk/move and at home, because at least when hospitalized, I get too many visitors!) and no good comes out of that. Having my 2 pups has helped TREMENDOUSLY as it forces me to take them outside, hang out with the neighbors etc., even when I need to use a walker to do so.
As a mechanic, I view diapers the same I do as every other of the almost $100k worth of tools/equipment I own. Everything serves a purpose and fulfills a need. EXACTLY what a diaper does!
When you can look at them like that, all of a sudden the shame melts away!

CptKirk

 

[Wetshisbed]

So my u-incontinence adventure started 3 years ago. I started using light shields but within a year switched to Abena and Tena pads. After a few nighttime leaks I started using Threaded Armor training pants at night or a pullup.

I've tried various meds and have had side effects. So no more meds and now more leaking. I've gone back and forth with pads and pullups. After a couple of leaks I made the decision to wear pullups full time. Yesterday I cleaned out the underwear drawer. That's a big step for me, no more back and forth. It's time to just accept where I am. Part of the problem with incontinence for me has been the variability in my incontinence and the mental heartache. Well, no more!

Accepting it and owning it is the way forward. I was very down at first when I became incontinent and enuretic but my wife shook me out of it by being her usual pragmatic self. She told me in no uncertain terms to wear a nappy and get on with my life. Even when she realised I had become DL as a result she said so what if it helps you cope. If your incontinence cannot be cured then nappies and acceptance is the way forward.

 

[PadPhilosopher]

Accepting it and owning it is the way forward. I was very down at first when I became incontinent and enuretic but my wife shook me out of it by being her usual pragmatic self. She told me in no uncertain terms to wear a nappy and get on with my life. Even when she realised I had become DL as a result she said so what if it helps you cope. If your incontinence cannot be cured then nappies and acceptance is the way forward.

I'm glad you have a wonderful wife!

 

[Edgewater]

There is no question that a SO that stands with you is a key to overcoming any of life's difficulties.
For me, its together equals better!