I'm an ABDL that has recently become an incontinent paraplegic and am feeling lost.

melbdpr

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#1
Hello all hope your are all well.

Im here today making this post because i have recently had a life changing incident. I was hit by a car whilst riding my motorbike quite badly and am now a decent amount paraplegic and have become incontinent. im still in rehabilitation
wearing permanent bladder drainages and am in a wheelchair permanently.

Prior to the accident i was a closet ABDL and my partner nor anyone ever knew. i would wear abdl type diapers as often as i could and had trained myself to wet them. Id wear them under clothing and go out and enjoy the thrill of wearing secretly in public. I would also make effort to meet other people with similar interests.

Now i feel lost. I no longer have the freedom to be how i once was. In almost half a year I have not worn a diaper except for once in the hospital until they stopped that because its apparently bad for my skin and put me on a drainage bag.. I know its a pretty complex question, but does anyone have any advice or maybe experience that could help me in my abdl life? Anyone in or have been in a similar situation?
 

ozbub

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#2
Hey there, I was kinda left wondering how the heck to respond to your post when I read it the other night. The thing is i can’t begin to imagine how difficult this must be for you, but I can certainly understand how you’re feeling lost. It’s tough enough trying to cope with being abdl when you have the capacity to indulge privately, but to lose that along with everything else you’re dealing with must be just shit.

There have been many times where I’ve desperately needed to diaper up and little out when it’s been impossible and I’ve found that to be very difficult, so I can in some way empathise with you there.

I guess for what it’s worth, reaching out on this support network can only be good, though it’s disappointing you’ve had no other responders to this post. I’m actually really quiet on the posts these days :dunno: I used to be very active.

I’m just wondering if you’re still in contact with any of the people you met up with before that are into this, and whether they might be in a position to hang out with you. That could be a way of getting back into the scene. It just seems that if you must keep it private from those closest to you, you might need to find a group where you can be yourself.

Jees dude I feel like I’m advising you to go looking for the holy grail, but maybe if you reach out you’ll find what you’re looking for.

As for your physical predicament, there’s definitely people on here in wheelchairs that can share their experiences. Hopefully they will catch this and chime in with their two cents.

Sorry for my pretty crappy response, but just wanted to reassure you that you’re being heard.

Hugs dude
ozbub
 

trysexiea

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#3
Hey there, I was kinda left wondering how the heck to respond to your post when I read it the other night. The thing is i can’t begin to imagine how difficult this must be for you, but I can certainly understand how you’re feeling lost. It’s tough enough trying to cope with being abdl when you have the capacity to indulge privately, but to lose that along with everything else you’re dealing with must be just shit.

There have been many times where I’ve desperately needed to diaper up and little out when it’s been impossible and I’ve found that to be very difficult, so I can in some way empathise with you there.

I guess for what it’s worth, reaching out on this support network can only be good, though it’s disappointing you’ve had no other responders to this post. I’m actually really quiet on the posts these days :dunno: I used to be very active.

I’m just wondering if you’re still in contact with any of the people you met up with before that are into this, and whether they might be in a position to hang out with you. That could be a way of getting back into the scene. It just seems that if you must keep it private from those closest to you, you might need to find a group where you can be yourself.

Jees dude I feel like I’m advising you to go looking for the holy grail, but maybe if you reach out you’ll find what you’re looking for.

As for your physical predicament, there’s definitely people on here in wheelchairs that can share their experiences. Hopefully they will catch this and chime in with their two cents.

Sorry for my pretty crappy response, but just wanted to reassure you that you’re being heard.

Hugs dude
ozbub
Let's try to make a more constructive answer.
 

trysexiea

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#5
Hello all hope your are all well.

Im here today making this post because i have recently had a life changing incident. I was hit by a car whilst riding my motorbike quite badly and am now a decent amount paraplegic and have become incontinent. im still in rehabilitation
wearing permanent bladder drainages and am in a wheelchair permanently.

Prior to the accident i was a closet ABDL and my partner nor anyone ever knew. i would wear abdl type diapers as often as i could and had trained myself to wet them. Id wear them under clothing and go out and enjoy the thrill of wearing secretly in public. I would also make effort to meet other people with similar interests.

Now i feel lost. I no longer have the freedom to be how i once was. In almost half a year I have not worn a diaper except for once in the hospital until they stopped that because its apparently bad for my skin and put me on a drainage bag.. I know its a pretty complex question, but does anyone have any advice or maybe experience that could help me in my abdl life? Anyone in or have been in a similar situation?
If I understand correctly, you can not use disposable diapers, can not use them, does not prevent you from wearing them. A vehicle is dangerous but I think you were aware of the risks of not paying enough attention. But I'm not sure for your side ABDL your partner was aware or not? Generally the Probe does not prevent the use of a disposable diaper even though obviously to put it on and take it off it can be more complicated, I think that you put a probe for 2 reason, the first simplicity for them, the second, you are very often sitting or lying, so that the skin is still in contact with the urine.
 

SpAzpieSweeTot

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#6
I'm cerebrally palsied. So is my sister. She's completely IC, and walking isn't in her cards, at all. She chooses no catheters, too, unless it's absolutely necessary.

Step 1
Learn what rehab can teach, then get out. Doctors are starting to have some pretty messed up opinions about diapers. Last time my sister was hospitalized, she actually had to defend her right not to have to have her bed turned into an open container of her own poop! She was too weak to help at all, every time they had to change the whole bed, and being naked, from the waist down, embarrassed her. She had a catheter at the time, or they'd have to change the bed more!

Step 2
Get the right wheelchair seat cushion. The problem is pressure!

http://easecushion.com/g-series.html

Be prepared for insurance not to cover it. But, it's the best thing, if you've ever had, or worry about, a pressure problem. Without knowing rather you need power, or a manual wheelchair, I can only recommend a good, supportive, well-ventilated backrest. Make sure your chair fits like a glove.

Step 3
Decent diapers don't cause skin issues; not changing often enough, or using bad diapers, can. Buy good diapers, have a good cream for general use, and a good cream for yeast. If you see red in your diaper area, deal with it, immediately. My sister has been diapered, and disabled, her whole life, and never had a problem with any skin issue not healing. That's because Mom freaks out at red, and deals, immediately. In the case of redness, let the skin air out.

Hope that helps.
 
Last edited:

Dinotopian2002

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#7
Hi Meldpr

Firstly, I’m really sorry you’re having to deal with a spinal cord injury. The next few weeks and months will be difficult as you adjust to what’s happened. The important thing to do in this case is to focus on the positives and what you’re able to do. There a number of resources out there which can help you adjust. In the UK, we have a charity called the Backup Trust which helps people with SCI adjust to their new lifestyle. There will very likely be an organisation in Australia which performs a similar role. Having had a browse online, this organisation could help you. https://scia.org.au/services/advice-information/peer-support/

With regards to diapers, it’s worth asking your nurse if you can try them if you prefer to manage your bladder care with nappies instead, combined with intermittent cathing. However, these are early days, and it’s just important to adjust at this point.

As for myself, I use a wheelchair because I have severe chronic pain which attacks my nerves from the waist down. I am able to walk a little but this is extremely painful - there is no painkiller that is strong enough. I also have CFS which tires me out, so walking a short distance can force me to stay in bed for days to recover.

In addition, this illness has damaged the nerves controlling my bladder, as such I have to wear diapers 24/7. I still have some control, but this fluctuates and I’m not always in reach of an accessible toilet.

I wasn’t a DL when my issues started but wearing and using ABDL diapers has helped me adjust to my medical issues. I hated it at first as I was still a teenager when this all started but now I’m okay with it.

I’m not in the same boat as you but I have a better idea of what you’re going through than most people as some of our issues are similar. Hang in there. It gets easier.

Breathe Deep, Seek Peace
Dinotopian2002
 

Slomo

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#8
Hello all hope your are all well.

Im here today making this post because i have recently had a life changing incident. I was hit by a car whilst riding my motorbike quite badly and am now a decent amount paraplegic and have become incontinent. im still in rehabilitation
wearing permanent bladder drainages and am in a wheelchair permanently.

Prior to the accident i was a closet ABDL and my partner nor anyone ever knew. i would wear abdl type diapers as often as i could and had trained myself to wet them. Id wear them under clothing and go out and enjoy the thrill of wearing secretly in public. I would also make effort to meet other people with similar interests.

Now i feel lost. I no longer have the freedom to be how i once was. In almost half a year I have not worn a diaper except for once in the hospital until they stopped that because its apparently bad for my skin and put me on a drainage bag.. I know its a pretty complex question, but does anyone have any advice or maybe experience that could help me in my abdl life? Anyone in or have been in a similar situation?
First, diapers are not bad for your skin. Not as long as you use decent diapers and change often enough. Yes there will be an adjustment period for your skin to toughen up enough to not get rashes, but proper care, cleaning, ointment/cream, etc will mitigate that.

Second, I've been where you are regarding diapers. I had a year ago where I was then-permanently catheterized due to a physical blockage. My docs though they would never be able to open my urethra back up again. As such, I was looking at permanently needing a suprapubic catheter (or stoma), combined with a urine bag.

And truth be told, as an abdl, I literally lost the will to survive because I couldn't use a diaper any more. I stopped eating, stopped caring, etc. And when my doctor noticed, he pushed to find out why. That's when I decided to finally be honest. I told him I was abdl (and what that meant), and that I felt wrong in my life not being able to wear and use a diaper.

The first thing he recommended was I just let the catheter drain into my diaper. That's because it's and outdated misnomer to believe an open catheter system is harmful to your body. The fact is, its not. Though that is with the caveat you stay well hydrated so the catheter will always be flushing itself out. That was my docs only real requirement.

The second thing he recommended, was for them to stop trying to get me some resemblance of continence, and really focus on actually improving my quality of life. That's what you have to get your urololist to focus on, you quality of life. Not just your overall health. Because mine understood that they gave it one last "hail mary" surgery for me. They were able to remove my prostrate and enough of the damage urethra to finally open me up so I could permanently leak pee all the time.

So yeah, stop heading down that same path of darkness. Own up to being abdl with your doctor -and especially your partner! Find out for sure if you even need catheters, or if just using diapers is ok. And even if you do need the catheter, insist on being allowed to use a diaper with it in lieu of a drainage bag. (With being well hydrated and under your urogist supervision of course).
 
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