I have the option of moving in with my parents, but can't wear

BordercollieTrigger said:

Hey try convince them to allow it while not exposing the choices to your parents. There is a way to keep any of the activities in your room. Just hope can make them change their mind to do it without them seeing it. Its your choice anyway how you let anyone change it.

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I would recommend this as well (provided the parents even allow it). They don't need to see it after all. I was thinking that doing this in lesser amounts would be alright actually. I just cannot be sure if the parents are going to allow even that. Achieldan do you think your parents will tolerate you doing this out of sight in a discreet manner? It's ok to regress but only if you are the one controlling the desire but not if the desire is controlling you which it eventually will most likely given enough time. I suspect all you need is the opportunity to regress on occasion and you should be alright. For all any of us knows this may or may not work and only you can know the answer to the question of whether or not your parents tolerating this enough to allow you to do this in moderation. This is provided that your relationship with your parents Achieldan is a healthy one though.

I have a hard time seeing how being an ABDL is this end all be all. It's just another sexual fetish, it's not like being Gay, is it?

I'm thinking that maybe it can be supressed indefinitely, unlike the latter.

Achieldan said:

I will be moving back in with my parents for practical reasons, and they will not let me wear diapers or baby items whatsoever.

I've tried talking with them but they will not budge.

Is it worth it to do it behind their back and hide it from them?

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Their house, their rules. If you get busted... you might be homeless. I would suggest finding an outside place to indulge, meaning, an ABDL friend's place, a play space, or just meeting folks at munches for company. You might be able to get away with wearing discretely. Look at this as motivation to stay home as little as possible and to find your own place as quickly as you can.

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Achieldan said:

I have a hard time seeing how being an ABDL is this end all be all. It's just another sexual fetish, it's not like being Gay, is it?

I'm thinking that maybe it can be supressed indefinitely, unlike the latter.

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You would be surprised at the extreme some closeted gay people have taken when it comes to suppression. I know folks who went as far as to get married to someone of the opposite sex and have families before they came out. My husband was 33 when he finally came out.

The thing is that ABDL is more wrapped up in exterior trappings, right? We wear diapers and babyish clothes, have a stuffie or a blankie, and in some cases can go nuts with furniture and all sorts of things to make us feel little. But it doesn't have to be that way.

You're going into a place where you can't have those trappings, but in your mind you will still feel the pull. I would look for other ways to express your little side.

You could probably get away with a stuffed animal or a favorite blanket as long as you don't make a huge deal about them. Cartoon-print T-shirts and underwear are all the rage for adults now. Custom-print socks too. You can also try to find and meet other ABDL friends who have a safe place where you can indulge once in a while, or go to a munch, or start one if there isn't one close enough to you. Just meeting and talking to others who share some of your inclinations will take the pressure off. The most important thing is to find a way to keep the pilot light lit. Find a way each day to acknowledge your little side and keep it nourished. It may not be exactly what you want, but it will help.

Achieldan said:

I have a hard time seeing how being an ABDL is this end all be all. It's just another sexual fetish, it's not like being Gay, is it?

I'm thinking that maybe it can be supressed indefinitely, unlike the latter.

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I would say "suppressed" isn't the word or condition you should be striving for. It might be a subtle difference but I think it's important to see the distinction between denying something and accepting its validity but choosing not to act on it at this time. This also leaves a whole range of possible fantasy options as a safe manner of indulgence.

Alternatively Achieldan if you can I would recommend that you live alone. I think you do have a job or can easily get one and just live in a cheap tiny apartment like me. It sounds like your relationship with your parents is slightly toxic and moving in would not be as healthy as living on your own. The fact of the matter is I suspect you where taken advantaged of by your own family which would necessitate living with someone who will not abuse you. Now I know that may not be true but I see nothing wrong with respectively asking if that is the case? Ultimately what you do is your decision and yours alone but we will support you as best we can with whatever choice you make.

Hi. I still live with my parents, for private time it's a pain in the ass but it's cheap livin. Down side is trying to injoy the abdl lifestyle. The only time I can get is once everyone ( well I say everyone it's only my mum lol) is away to bed at the weekends. It's hard but not impossible

Achieldan said:

I have a hard time seeing how being an ABDL is this end all be all. It's just another sexual fetish, it's not like being Gay, is it?

I'm thinking that maybe it can be supressed indefinitely, unlike the latter.

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For you I don't think it's just a fetish. You see I suspect you are a AB/DL as a coping mechanism correct? If that is the case then it's a mental health issue waiting to happen unless you manage it properly. No being AB/DL is not like being gay. Because there is only 1 similarity between them. Both are a part of who and what you are. It's never going to stop and it's never going to go away whether you like it or not. This is something a person tries to suppress at their own peril. There lies the only similarities. It just happens to be a important one that's all. If anyone told you otherwise that this is just a fetish and it's not like being gay then they clearly are do not know any better about the reality that there's more to it then what they know. Most people think that treating these issues like this is a good idea. It's be proven historically on this site what really happens to people when they try to suppress this side of themselves. There are former members of ADISC who lived (that we off) through their suicide attempts to tell us this. It's not a end all or be all thing the way other people want to make it look like regarding me. I am merely saying it's dangerous to you as a person as far as mental health is concerned if you try to suppress this(if it's not already). You don't have to regress all that much to make sure it does not become a problem. But you do need to do so on occasion or it will cost you a lot more then you think. Tell me what good is a education (or something equally important to you) when you simply have lost the ability to enjoy it or the ability to function at all in society? Are you really ready to live with that sort of a problem(assuming you can call that life)? That is what your parents refuse to understand or respect for one reason or another. Moving back in with your parents like that is not necessarily a healthy thing for you to do because of this. I think you would do better by asking for help from places other then your family. There are a lot of social programs out there that can help. I also suspect you can easily get a job on your own and live peacefully if you want to.

I do have a question for you since you are unsure about what to do. I just told you that you may very well need to cope with the stress you are living with in this way right? Other people are saying it's not worth letting something as "insignificant" as being a AB/DL get in the way of your dreams or your future. First if being AB/DL is "insignificant" then why does a site such as ADISC even exist? Why is there so much energy being put into all of our statements at any point at all on this site? But you know what let's just take this to the next step and make those questions rhetorical. Is it to much to try and earn a living while simultaneously being yourself as long as it hurts no one? Is it somehow wrong to simply be yourself and live your dream accordingly at the same time? It's not easy to do that but it's not impossible either. I suspect that it's well worth trying for and that's one of the standards I live by. I believe you can do this as well but time is running out for that window of opportunity. It's up to you if you want to walk this path but you are not going to be alone if you do make this choice. :smile1:

Blueboy said:

Hi. I still live with my parents, for private time it's a pain in the ass but it's cheap livin. Down side is trying to injoy the abdl lifestyle. The only time I can get is once everyone ( well I say everyone it's only my mum lol) is away to bed at the weekends. It's hard but not impossible

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Assuming the OP even gets that opportunity this might work for him. But it's impossible to know that for sure that the opportunity is out there and it's a unhealthy thing for the OP to think he can suppress this otherwise long enough to move out again if it's possible at all.

I would try your dardest to suppress your AB/DL urges and use them as motivation to move out on your own

I don't think the discussion about whether it's good to avoid practicing ABDL things or not is helpful here. It's clear from the responses that some people are comfortable fantasizing for extended periods of time, while others find that altering their lifestyle to remove all ABDL things can be a hardship. Only the OP can decide that for himself.

If it is a hardship to go without any ABDL things, I think that's a discussion worth having with both parents. They may relent and allow limited diaper wearing in private. They may not relent, in which case I think it would be important to seek other sources of support. They should understand (if it's true) that prohibiting anything ABDL, even in private and discreetly, could be a big problem and that you may need counseling to help cope. Though to repeat, this paragraph is assuming that you can't handle going without on your own.

I think it would be wrong to deceive them. It would certainly be a huge risk and could result in big problems if a deception were found out. Possibly up to and including getting kicked out.

I don't know what I'm going to end up doing... My sister keeps going back and forth, one day she will tell me I can come back to her house, the next she says I'm never coming back...

Add to that my parents, who found a wet diaper in a plastic bag the other day... They are out of patience, another slip up and I WILL be on the streets.

I went through the same thing man when I lived with my parents the people telling you to use this as motivation to get your own place are spot on with that advice thats what I did and I was so motivated I moved out within 3 weeks just work hard and take all the overtime you can it will make it so much easier having your own place where you can make the rules and don't have to hide it. When You have your own place you have the freedom to do whatever you please and thats the best thing you can do for yourself.

Achieldan said:

I don't know what I'm going to end up doing... My sister keeps going back and forth, one day she will tell me I can come back to her house, the next she says I'm never coming back...

Add to that my parents, who found a wet diaper in a plastic bag the other day... They are out of patience, another slip up and I WILL be on the streets.

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Achieldan I would recommend moving back with your sister and spend as much time out working or looking for a job so both of you can have as much space as possible. Your relationship with your parents is toxic and it will ruin you in the long run I think. I know how hard it is because I used to be chronically homeless with parents who simply refuse to allow you to grow because who and what you are conflicts with their ideology.

Quick update guys:

My parents and I may have just come to a breakthrough agreement.

They will let me wear so long as it is outside of the house, so I could go to the mall, put one on, and go on a walk for a while...

Should I consider this an adequate compromise?

Achieldan said:

Quick update guys:

My parents and I may have just come to a breakthrough agreement.

They will let me wear so long as it is outside of the house, so I could go to the mall, put one on, and go on a walk for a while...

Should I consider this an adequate compromise?

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absolutely yes! :smile1: Remember what I said before? You simply have to indulge only enough to prevent it from controlling you and not the other way around which this probably is enough based upon what I know of you. In fact I would recommend that you look for a job at that mall while you do this. Since summertime is close by I would recommend you buy T-shirts that have a long tail on them so you can conceal the diaper underneath and try not to use it (except maybe inside the bathroom if you're about to take it off and throw the diaper away before returning home). Also I would recommend that you get a backpack so you can conceal the diapers in there (as well as professional looking cloths if you're looking for a job at the same time. It will increase the odds of you getting a job and if your diaper leaks you will have spare clothes). If your concerned about the noise just get diapers with cloth like backing while changing in public restrooms to avoid making noise. Cloth like backing is more likely to leak but since I highly recommend that you just wear and not wet the diaper that should not be a problem anyways.

Sounds like they are trying to meet you halfway (sorts to speak), Crinkle. If you do accept this compromise, which it does sound quite reasonable, you have to remember to keep your end of that bargain. Easier said than done, I know..