Taking a big step

My gf is going out of town this weekend and I usually wear while she's gone at home. At the very least, she knows that I do this. Through the week, I'm able to hide them at work. We had a conversation about diapers close to a year ago about how I like them, what, where and when I use them but it's halted and was never brought up again. While she respected the honesty, we've never been able to break back into the discussion.

I'm thinking about staging a situation where I "forget" to put away my stash for when she gets back for I will be at work. I've considered this several times but am seriously thinking of going through with it.

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when you two did talk about it what was her reaction? I caution you in throwing her into an uncomfortable situation as it may make that conversation go not as you had hoped. how long have you been together?
I think if this is something you want to discuss with her again, honest communication is better than forced communication. regardless what you do I wish you the best of luck friend

cannaboy88 said:

when you two did talk about it what was her reaction? I caution you in throwing her into an uncomfortable situation as it may make that conversation go not as you had hoped. how long have you been together?
I think if this is something you want to discuss with her again, honest communication is better than forced communication. regardless what you do I wish you the best of luck friend

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I think everyone will share about the same answer. The best way I could put the initial reaction was the stages of grief in fast forward over the course of a few minutes. Shock, anger, denial, acceptance. I offered reading material and other things to help with the conversation but it was more of like a "thanks for telling me, I'm not mad, don't wanna hear anymore about it." It'll be 3 years very soon for us. I've posted on here before how it was upsetting that everything took such a halt and it's been awkward at best to even start a conversation. I don't have a goal in mind for wanting her to share this with me other than to bring back the idea that this is something that is very much alive and not going away and I'd like to have my things generally accepted and not swept under the rug. Hope that makes sense.

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I agree with "don't leave them out for her to discover" them. It could be a shock to her and she may feel that you were waiting for her to leave just so you could wear diapers. It's far better to have another discussion. This way if she's uncomfortable with your wanting diapers, she doesn't know that you were wearing while she was gone, and you can find a way out by saying something like, well, I don't wear very often, or something like that.

I think the best you can do, in my personal experience, is just to sit down with her and start the conversation with care. Just let her know you want to talk to her about something important , and slowly rekindle the conversation you started before. Let her know how you *truly* feel and ask if she's okay with it. Slow progress, but the best and most effective.

kik91 said:

I think the best you can do, in my personal experience, is just to sit down with her and start the conversation with care. Just let her know you want to talk to her about something important , and slowly rekindle the conversation you started before. Let her know how you *truly* feel and ask if she's okay with it. Slow progress, but the best and most effective.

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I guess it's hard for me to confront what I want and my idea (in my head) was a way to rush it back into the fold. I just want to be able to come home from work and either change out of what I'm in or change into a new one. Mommy or bedroom stuff....I could take it or leave it. I know my limits. She bought me footies a couple years ago and I'd just like to go to sleep in one or casually do nothing around the house and oh...I have a diaper on. I don't know how to put that into words other than what I just said. Perhaps that's the best approach to it all. I feel like it'll be heavily opposed whether I take that route or the original but I understand the points given and appreciate them.

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intfusmil said:

I guess it's hard for me to confront what I want and my idea (in my head) was a way to rush it back into the fold. I just want to be able to come home from work and either change out of what I'm in or change into a new one. Mommy or bedroom stuff....I could take it or leave it. I know my limits. She bought me footies a couple years ago and I'd just like to go to sleep in one or casually do nothing around the house and oh...I have a diaper on. I don't know how to put that into words other than what I just said. Perhaps that's the best approach to it all. I feel like it'll be heavily opposed whether I take that route or the original but I understand the points given and appreciate them.

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Just think about what you want. You know her, approach it with courage and conviction but in a way she'd understand. I hope it works out!

It seems like talking about how grateful you are that "She bought you footies a few years ago" might be a great start. Regardless of how you do it I too would strongly encourage you to ALL of your diapers carefully stashed when having this conversation.

Best of luck!


-Ieyasu


PS My wife of 25+ years has known about this since long before I ever proposed. Open communication is the key.