Why are nappies seen as humiliating?

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LittleMissPink

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So I was looking at my baby nappies the other day and wondering why as a kid I would see this as humiliating if someone had to wear or (for me) ask to wear them.
Maybe I've just forgotten the reasons but for the life of me I wonder why we even see this "embarrassment" and "humiliation" still into adulthood for example with what has been said on another thread about HR reps not wanting to even use the word "diaper". Is it so humiliating that you can't even say the word?
 
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I understand your idea. I feel diaper shamed too sometimes. But I won't trash my stash, it cost too much cash, it covers my a$$, and is always a blast!! Love ya Sissy! Thanks for speaking up.
 
It's because potty training is usually ground into us as being something associated with being an adult accomplishment, and treated as a big deal. Failing it was seen as babyish and what adult wears diapers? None that's what we're trained into thinking. It takes ages to undo this programming.
 
to me as someone who needs them they are just undies to me been that way all my life not sure why they are so shamed
 
OmiOMy said:
It's because potty training is usually ground into us as being something associated with being an adult accomplishment, and treated as a big deal. Failing it was seen as babyish and what adult wears diapers? None that's what we're trained into thinking. It takes ages to undo this programming.

This is exactly it, when parents potty train their kids, they tell them "diapers are for babies", "do you want to be a baby or a big kid", and they also reward kids for going in the potty rather than their pants.

It's a huge psychological thing that makes the kids feel great when they succeed at potty training, feel bad or embarrassed/humiliated when they fail/have any mis-steps.

And let us not forget the Huggies Pull-Up Commercial slogan "I'm a Big Kid Now" meant to cement into the young kids mind that if they want to be a big kid they need to learn how to use the potty and stop wearing diapers.
 
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Yes, I agree entirely. The whole idea of potty training revolves around drumming into children the binary idea

Diapers/wet = dirty = bad
Underpants /dry = clean = good.

I also picked up lot of parental angst communicated to me around the fact that diapers were a lot harder work for parents than underwear!

It still left me, at age 4, gazing wistfully at my younger brother's nappies and plastic pants.
 
To children, the 'babyish' aspect of wearing a nappy is probably the main reason, driven by the parents' desire to push their child along through the accepted developmental steps. For adults there's also the taboo, disgust and embarrassment that goes with body waste and toileting, at least in most cultures. This probably stems from a historic need to associate waste products with dirt and disease, before it was even understood how diseases can be transmitted and how to deal with body waste safely and hygienically. These days, with high performance products and general good hygiene, nappies can be an effective and convenient alternative to the toilet. But to most people it must still seem like just sitting in your own waste, an insanitary behaviour which surely no-one would want to do out of choice, and this feeling would be transmitted to youngsters as well.

Post crossed with the above - seems we're on the same page
 
BabyTyrant said:
This is exactly it, when parents potty train their kids, they tell them "diapers are for babies", "do you want to be a baby or a big kid", and they also reward kids for going in the potty rather than their pants.

It's a huge psychological thing that makes the kids feel great when they succeed at potty training, feel bad or embarrassed/humiliated when they fail/have any mis-steps.

Absolutely! I remember forever being told, as a child, that I was "wishing my life away" by wanting to be older and more grown-up. Children have a natural instinct to want to be "grown up" and to do things that adults do -- like pushing the buttons in a lift (elevator), to use a classic example!

Humans (children especially) have a natural drive to learn and become masters of themselves and their environment. Children see things in a more black-and-white way than adults, so potty training is seen as the watershed between being a baby and being a "big kid".

Being infantilised is (for most people) patronising and belittling... humiliating. So, diapers, which are associated with infants become associated with a sense of humiliation... or of "not being a competent grown up".

It's not "right", but... I think that's the way that most people think...

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Paxe said:
This probably stems from a historic need to associate waste products with dirt and disease, before it was even understood how diseases can be transmitted and how to deal with body waste safely and hygienically.

Didn't people in mediaeval times smear their babies in muck and dirt because, if it makes plants grow, it must be good and healthy...?
 
BabyTyrant said:
And let us not forget the Huggies Pull-Up Commercial slogan "I'm a Big Kid Now" meant to cement into the young kids mind that if they want to be a big kid they need to learn how to use the potty and stop wearing diapers.

tiny said:
Absolutely! I remember forever being told, as a child, that I was "wishing my life away" by wanting to be older and more grown-up. Children have a natural instinct to want to be "grown up" and to do things that adults do -- like pushing the buttons in a lift (elevator), to use a classic example!

These two explanations hit it right on the nose I think. We always tell kids to be "a big kid" and so wearing nappies is stigmatized and unfortunately is still hard wired into when they grow up as adults. So adults think of it in as awkward or embarrassing like in the same way if you saw and adult still riding a bike with training wheels.

The elevator example, Tiny was brilliant, I never thought of it like that. I remember as a kid always wanting to do things that older people did - even simple things like playing MA15+ video games. And that example you gave just clicks. In retail I see kids all the time using or asking their parents to let them pay for the items using their credit card, for them to give me the cash or wanting to push the trolley. Just simple things we adults take for normal every day actions.You just blew my mind with that haha I never realized why kids want to always do such trivial things and now it makes sense. They have an internal desire to grow older and doing these small things makes them feel like they are progressing and growing and by doing so in their mind are on the same level as everyone else.
 
In addition, I can remember being called a little baby by my cousins. Little kids would ridicule their contemporaries using the same shaming their parents used on them. My cousins always bullied me until my parents sold their house and moved away.
 
I don’t disagree with your reasoning that age-association is a source of the embarrassment. I think you’re right at least in part... but step back for a second. Why the heck is that so? Why is it embarrassing to be baby/child like? Is it the dependence? Is it the innocence? What is wrong with our culture(s) that sees these characteristics as so shameful?

In my field of expertise, we quote Bible texts about how “until you are like a little child, you cannot enter the kingdom of heaven...” essentially saying that there are aspects of children that adults should strive for - or must reclaim - in order to be their best selves.

I wonder if part of the embarrassment around adults wearing diapers has something to do with being dependent - being needy - or not being in control. Even more pointedly, I wonder if it has something to do with being weak...pitiful. Children in diapers are all of these things, they’re unable to take care of themselves, they’re utterly reliant on others for survival. None of these things are values in at least American culture, if not others. We celebrate power, independence, the “self-made man.” We celebrate ego, self-reliance, and conquering. We idolize those who don’t need anything from anyone, who don’t need a free lunch, who don’t take support.

Needing diapers signifies the opposite of all of these things.


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