Advice for using a nappy in public

I am looking for advice for using a nappy in public. I do a lot of planning but find that I have a shy bladder when it comes to actually trying to wee. When planning I always find a place with a toilet with enough privacy, this is ideally just a room with one toilet in that also has a bin for disposing of my nappy so I can just lock the door without any risk of getting caught.

The best place I've found is a coffee shop near where I live that just has 2 toilets exactly fitting the description above. The plan I had was to just go in, place my order and go into the toilets and change while it was being prepared and eventual just wee in my seat whilst I was drinking my coffee as I wanted to simulate a real accident rather than a deliberate act.

The first time I tried this I found that I couldn't get myself to wee in the nappy at all even though I wrote needed to go. Eventually I decided that I looked a bit suspicious and I had long finished my drink so I just went into the toilets and wet my nappy in there which felt easy. I tried doing this again with the same outcome before on a third occasion I managed it although I couldn't empty my whole bladder like I wanted to.

The only times I've actually been able to wet my nappy in public is whilst stood still which I don't like because it feels more staged. I've tried to do it whilst walking and found this impossible too.

Does anyone have any advice or anything I could try so I could have more success when going in public.

Don't overthink it. All that planning might be getting in your way.

Let nature take its course. Slowly keep drinking/sipping and eventually you'll HAVE to wee. At that point let it happen. If you are standing still that's OK. Sometimes I take a walk and stand and wet.

Get used to being in a wet diaper and AFTER you wet the diaper seek a place to change. (coffee shop, fast food restaurant etc)
A discrete diaper bag useful.

Thanks. I always think I need to plan as I need to make sure I'm near a decent toilet where I can change properly. I don't like using disabled ones although I have a will if absolutly no alternative.

Just do it more often, eventually you will get used to it to the point where it is second nature.
Altho I would suggest as it was said by Howdy21, if you think about it too much (and I don’t mean just the wetting part, but also the thought of people being on the lookout and looking for someone in a diaper) its just going to make everything harder.
And on the topic of changing your diaper id say that any restroom that you can find should do just fine. I mean if you are changing yourself that means that you have to have the extra diaper stored somewhere so why not just add one or two non transparent plastic bags into it to “hide” the diaper inside and just throw it away, if not in the bathroom itself then just dispose of it at first convenience.
Also feeling comfortable or safe about people not seeing your diaper can help a lot, so I’d recommend trying out different clothes on in front of a mirror and checking to see if it would have been visible to someone else. Don’t know how well that will help you but it was a good way of making me feel more secure about the while thing.


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My advice would be to not think about it and just think of using the bathroom eventually you will release. Best of luck!

Thanks. I find it really hard not to think about it because I only wear nappies when ive planned to wet or soil them, I like to think of scenarios in which someone could have an accident and then try to enact it so planning is quite important to me. I don't wear them all the time and have no interest in that. Another problem I have is that I binge purge and always feel immense guilt when I've wet or soiled a nappy. When I buy a pack of nappies I'll use a few of them before throwing them all away and I've actually never finished a whole pack.

I usually just go into a lockable stall and sit on the toilet to pee in case of leaks. Seldom have I stood and weed, especially only when it's not an urge. I wouldn't mess though in public because that'd be very ignorant of other people who really don't want to deal with that.

I’m incontinent and have worn diapers 24/7 for the past 30 years or so. Since I don’t have control of my urination, I have wet myself in just about every kind of situation you can imagine. I greatly prefer to change my diaper at home, but there have been many, many times when I had to change in a stall in a public restroom. My experience indicates that a few precautions suffice to enable me not to worry about people realizing that I’m diapered and wetting in front of them. The first thing is to wear a top-quality, tape-on diaper such as ComfiDry 24/7, BetterDry, or Abena Abriform M4. These diapers can take several major wettings before I need to change. Not needing to change after each wetting means that I usually don’t need to change before I get home. Second, I always carry a fresh diaper and wet wipes with me wherever I go. Because I regularly use a high-capacity diaper, I don’t have to use my spare diaper very often, but having a change with me provides peace of mind. Three, I’ve learned that it’s possible to change in a stall in almost any public washroom. Finally, I wear loose-fitting, dark pants which disguise the diaper bulge that might be visible in my crotch and which do not conspicuously show any small leaks that may occur.

Thanks, I've actually never tried using tape up ones. I have always just used the tena pull ups as they are widely avaliable where I live and I've never had any problem with them leaking and they claim to be able to absorb a lot of urine. I've not tried wetting one more than once so I'm not sure exactly how much one could take.

I'm also guessing that tape up nappies are much easier to change than pull ups once they're wet as when I wear pull ups I need to take off my trousers, underpants (which I always wear on top of my nappy) and shoes making it essential for me to find a secure toilet. I'm not sure Id bet able to change in a public toilet where there could be someone in the stool next to me. just think there's far too much risk of being caught.

Taped nappies are far superior than pull ups. Traditional nappies will have a far higher capacity due to their construction. The inconvenience of having to half undress to change is something I've never had to put up with, especially changing in public.

You mention not wanting to wear all the time and that's fine, however it can take time and practice to get comfortable with using a nappy in public. It was only after a year or two of full-time wear that the inhibitions and worries really faded away. Since then, it now feels completely natural and 'right' to use the nappy any time, any place, apart from a few exceptions that still feel awkward or inhibiting. You mention being unable to wet while sitting down; I still have this, mainly because of an increased fear of leaks, and it's worst in a car. There are also places and positions that make it easier - the bathroom was a favourite in the early days, although there is no particular significance to that now. Being able to wet on-cue is obviously important if you are trying to act out a scenario, and I do think that will take practice for it not to feel very conspicuous or artificial. I have the reverse - I don't care where or when I wet. E.g. I could be seated for an hour or two and if no wetting occurs, that's not a problem, it will all happen the next time I stand up.

For a confidence boost, ditch the pullups and wear a proper tape-on plastic-backed premium nappy; thick, absorbent and safe. I used to worry about it being visible through my jeans and wore thinner, lower performance nappies. This was counter-productive as it made using the nappy more stressful and awkward, for fear of leaks. The discovery that even the bulge of really thick nappy doesn't attract attention, was an important one. Whatever you wear, test it again and again, stand in the shower and let go, keep doing this until you leak so that you know exactly what to expect of the nappy when you use it for real.

As for the act of wetting being obvious to others, experience shows that standing still isn't as attention-grabbing as you might fear. I'll get out of the car and instinctively stand with my legs apart for a few seconds while the nappy gets a soaking, no-one has any idea what's happening. I can walk while wetting but usually have to stand still to start. Doing a poo is a bit more visible and parents of toddlers might be quite well attuned to the telltale signs of pooing in a nappy, but if you are far enough from people for them not to smell you, they won't see clearly either. When I feel the need, if I can find somewhere discreet and private I'll squat slightly with hands on hips, or squat right down, or stand with legs wide apart or one leg up on something, and use the nappy. No-one has ever noticed.

When it comes to change-time, take your changing bag into the stall and change... it's that simple. Nappies have to be changed, just like light bulbs or oil filters... There's nothing to be 'caught' about, any more than one could be 'caught' changing an oil filter. If it's a pooey one I prefer an individual bathroom with a basin and disposal bin, otherwise any stall will do. You are right that ordinary tape-on nappies are much more convenient than pullups for changing in public - for this reason alone I'd never wear a pullup.

I hope this conveys some idea of how easy and fun this all is, once you've gained confidence through practice!

Next time I definatly want to try using a tape up nappy next time. A problem here is most supermarkets where I live only sell Tena (2 of them are off limits completely as i used to work in them and still know most of the staff) and I want to use the self serve checkouts as there's no way I could actually be served by someone and Boots (If you're not from the UK that's the main large pharmacy/chain here) don't have self scan checkouts even though they have a great range of adult nappies. I can't order online either because I still live with my parents .I'm still terrified I could be caught buying them and I nearly was a few weeks ago. I was literally about to pick up a pack from the shelf when someone I went to school with called my name. luckily for me they were on the bottom shelf, I hadn't bent down and there were shower gels on the higher shelves that I could pretend to be looking at.

I think it's more being around others than being sat down as I've wet a nappy whilst sat on a toilet before about that wasn't a problem.

Strangely I find it much easy to poo whilst in public (I know a lot of people on here discourage it) but I really can't help it. I can relate to what you've said about parents with young children as I was in a queue for a public toilet a few weeks ago and a dad was with his son who was probably about 7 or 8 was in front of me in the queue asked me if I wanted to go first (I didn't refuse) I'm sure he knew (I don't think the kid did because he would of laughed). Even after that I've not been put off.

Re. buying online - cuddlz is UK based and have a great range of products which is delivered in plain packaging. The stuff just comes in a big grey bag or cardboard box (I've no connection with them other than as a satisfied customer).

I find that it's best not to overthink it, just stand have a drink & let nature take its course, I was nervous at 1st, but the fear will be concoured over time.

There is one thing I'm quite keen to try but I'm worried that the nappy will leek I did this when I was a teenager probably when I was about 13 or 14 but not using a nappy (just normal pants). This time I would want to use a nappy and would be going in public.

The plan was just to wake up and not go to the toilet and simply just wait until I wet myself. My parents weren't going to be in later on so it was ideal. I'd went out with some friends in the morning. I'd got really uncomfortable and I think they could tell something was up. I gave them an excuse to go in early saying I needed to do homework.

When it eventually happened it felt great. I felt a warm surge at the front of my pants I actually tried to stop it but couldn't. I was sat on my bed watching tv at the time. instead of running into the toilet I ran outside into the garden and finished weeing there.