LittleJess
Banned
- Messages
- 1,089
This may seem weird, but I feel my anxiety manifests itself physically, I get full on muscle spams, twitches and jerks, like full on hand jerks for no reason. (even shaky hands, shaky voice etc) I get full on panic attacks where I kind of feel uneasy, have trouble walking, and keeping myself upright, usually have to walk along a wall or something and having to keep reminding myself I'm not actually dying, and that it's in my head. It's a fucking terrible feeling.
I've noticed it depends on my stress level, for example, if i'm not too stressed, I'll get the occasional muscle twitch, but the more stressed I am, the more noticeable it gets, ie shakiness, feeling uneasy, extreme nervousness.
My jerks, are practically all over, like arm jerk, head jerk etc, it's mostly muscle twitches that drive me nuts.
It's also something that occurs in my sleep, had a dream that one of my bullies punched me in the face, for some reason my body full on jerked to the point it woke me up, as if I was just punched in the face. I've had times where I've accidentally knocked things over just because my brain thought it was a threat lol.
I must confess, there are times, that my body goes into autopilot, like one time someone walked a bit too close to me, or moved an arm too fast, luckly i've never actually hit someone, but like i would unintentionally block or try and protect myself. I accidentally punched a friend in the arm because they just moved there hand too fast and my body went into protect mode. it's not something i have control over, it's when someone goes to hit you, and your body "finches" to protect yourself, but with me every little small thing causes that, fuck a fly could fly towards my face and I would flinch like someone just pulled a knife out on me.
What is wrong with me, I keep having flashbacks, and I keep feeling worthless. This has been something that has been going on since i was 15?? It's like my anxiety has become worse in the last couple years. (me being 19) my depression developed before than, I think 13.
I've noticed it depends on my stress level, for example, if i'm not too stressed, I'll get the occasional muscle twitch, but the more stressed I am, the more noticeable it gets, ie shakiness, feeling uneasy, extreme nervousness.
My jerks, are practically all over, like arm jerk, head jerk etc, it's mostly muscle twitches that drive me nuts.
It's also something that occurs in my sleep, had a dream that one of my bullies punched me in the face, for some reason my body full on jerked to the point it woke me up, as if I was just punched in the face. I've had times where I've accidentally knocked things over just because my brain thought it was a threat lol.
I must confess, there are times, that my body goes into autopilot, like one time someone walked a bit too close to me, or moved an arm too fast, luckly i've never actually hit someone, but like i would unintentionally block or try and protect myself. I accidentally punched a friend in the arm because they just moved there hand too fast and my body went into protect mode. it's not something i have control over, it's when someone goes to hit you, and your body "finches" to protect yourself, but with me every little small thing causes that, fuck a fly could fly towards my face and I would flinch like someone just pulled a knife out on me.
What is wrong with me, I keep having flashbacks, and I keep feeling worthless. This has been something that has been going on since i was 15?? It's like my anxiety has become worse in the last couple years. (me being 19) my depression developed before than, I think 13.
