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Thread: Relationship Problem!

  1. #1

    Default Relationship Problem!

    Where to begin?

    Since January of this year, I have been seeing a great guy. Everything has been going well, until recently!
    We have been seeing each other nearly every other day, and now he has just
    shut down on me!
    I last saw him two weeks ago, and since then there has been no contact at
    all. I have tried phoning him, but he never answers his phone.
    Just recently a few of his friends have passed away, and I have been there
    for him giving him love and support.
    I feel that he has now shut me out and although I feel his pain, I am
    hurting now.
    I fear that the relationship is now over, although he hasn't said so in words.
    From being with him since January to now not seeing him at all, is painful!
    He doesn't respond to text messages or phone calls, and I am worried that
    the relationship has come to an end!
    I don't know this for certain, but if it has, I wish he would ring me, so we
    could meet up, so I could hear it from his lips.
    I am very worried and concerned, as I have very strong feelings for this guy!
    I have made no more attempts to get in touch, and I probably must except
    the fact that the relationship is quite possibly over.
    I just wish he had the balls(sorry for the choice of words) to tell me, face to face.
    Is there anything I can do, bearing in mind that it seems all communication
    has been shut down on his side.
    I don't want to keep texting or phoning, as I think this will just drive him
    further underground.
    Should I just admit defeat and sever all ties?

  2. #2


    well...heres the thing

    Many males will tend to block out their significant other, particularly after a rather large event in their lives regardless of their genuine feelings for the female.

    its a coping mechanism of the mind to shut down and block out, narrow the amount of things that the brain has to confront and deal with.

    for him, it may have gone a couple days too long, then faced with the relationship issue, of confronting a partner you have treated badly, he may just be hiding from the issue.

    Before your ready to admit defeat and sever all ties, I would leave a message or a note, somthing you are 100% sure he will see, a text message or a phone message will NOT cut the cake.

    Leave a messsage letting him know that you are not looking to scold him for his disrespectful actions, his blocking you out, let him know your genuine feelings for him and the value you STILL have in your relationship.

    If you dont hear from him within 3 days, cut the cord. its not a healthy situatio for him OR you.

    I know that a couple times, when friends of mine have committed suicide, at least one of my mutual friends has a tendency to start getting wrapped up in a girl and finding comfort in her, only to break up several months down the road. i guess its his way of coping?

    I hope you are able to get SOME form of response, and I hope its a positive one.
    please remember sometimes guys are worse then horses, you need to lead us to the water AND splash it around a bit hey?

  3. #3


    Mommy and Mattling, thank you for your reply. I have left a written message at his house, but I still haven't heard. I think you are right, and if I haven't heard from him within a
    few days time, I will cut the cord.
    You are correct, this is not a healthy situation to be in, and I will just have to be strong. He knows that my feelings are genuine, as I have expressed them
    many times, and I have given him space. If I don't get any response, then I know it is time to move on!
    Perhaps this relationship was never meant to be! It is sad, but I am a strong person.
    I am a strong person, so I will get over this in time!

  4. #4


    I'm so sorry to hear this. I have to agree with MommyandMattling. I think you've done everything you can possibly do. There's something going on in his head, but if he doesn't or can't tell you, you'll never really know what it is. I think he has demonstrated terrible manners, but maybe it's some sort of psychological problem. It's even possible he'll contact you six months from now, but I think you should move on, as painful as that may be.

  5. #5


    Thank you dogboy, for your advice. I know two weeks isn't such a long time apart, but you are right! I am now trying to put some distance between us!
    I will not contact him at all, and wait to see if he contacts me! In the meantime, I am building walls to protect my heart, because the pain I feel at the
    moment is excruciating. If I continue to think about him it will drive me crazy, and I will become a blubbering wreck!
    I am a strong person usually, so I know I will be alright; it will just take some time.
    I am seriously thinking of never having a relationship ever again, as it is just too painful as they never seem to last!
    Perhaps I was always meant to be on my own!

  6. #6


    Quote Originally Posted by Andromeda View Post
    Perhaps I was always meant to be on my own!

    its possible, however consider the sheer amount of people who have felt and thought the same thing after an unfortunate relationship event, who have gone on to find that special someone.
    I think self fufilling prophecies are really what drive a lot of people, and I encourage you to keep your heart open and your mind positive

  7. #7


    UPDATE: Relationship Problem!

    This issue has now been resolved! I managed to see my guy yesterday afternoon, and we have had a good frank talk!
    I explained how upset I had been over not hearing from him, and he told me that he had been trying to get in contact
    with me all week!
    He told me that he rang often, but yet I never received the calls and they never appeared in my call record, not sure why!

    Although I suspect the reason I didn't see them, could have been down to the fact that another friend bombarded me with calls
    and text all week, there fore cancelling out my guy's calls. (Is this possible?)

    I am relieved that our relationship is still as strong as ever, and that he still wants to continue seeing me!
    Incidentally, his friend is now home from hospital, so my guy may have more time now to spend with me!
    he has told me, that he will get in touch with me when he can!

    I suppose it is healthy to have some time apart, as I suspect this may make the relationship stronger?

    Thank you dogboy and MommyandMattling for all of your help, advice and support. It is much appreciated!
    You guys are awesome. True friends in a time of need!

  8. #8


    I'm very glad everything turned out allright, and who knows with electronic devices? I know thats ive been party to some particularly wonky messaging/phone situations.

    =D hope its smooth sailing for you

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