What happened for you to become ABDL?

[Chimera]

Now I see that. I got them mixed up because if you google Sodium Hydrate you get lots of helpful answers. Upon closer inspection, I notice that they all are referencing Sodium Hydroxide.
If @Chimera wants to explain what Sodium Hydrate is, that’s his decision to make. I think I’ve derailed this enough, though we can continue if everyone wants to.

I'm just going off what my mom told me. I could have the exact name wrong, that or I'm recalling incorrectly.. I was too young at the time to really realize what was going on and my trust in nurses and doctors was shot for the rest of my life after that experience

 

[Abdlhero]

I have incontinence as a result of Spina bifida condition.
I had been wearing diapers 24/7 for almost 15 years but It has been turned into a fetish later.

 

[Labrador]

I'm just going off what my mom told me. I could have the exact name wrong, that or I'm recalling incorrectly.. I was too young at the time to really realize what was going on and my trust in nurses and doctors was shot for the rest of my life after that experience

Fair enough. Stories over time tend to turn into a game of telephone. But either way, some sort of medication incident led you to distrust medical professionals. That makes sense.

 

[LittleJ123]

I was potty trained around 2 years of age (according to my parents). They offered me toys in exchange for giving up diapers and I quit cold turkey. It was a couple years later (around 4) that my fascination for them rose. My older sister and I used to play "family" as kids, and I was usually her baby when we played. One day, we asked my mom if I could wear some diapers to look/feel more like a baby while we played. We still had plenty left over from when we were younger, and my mom surprisingly said yes, as long as we didn't actually use them.

I was playing diapered one day with my sister and realized that I had to pee very badly. I was enjoying our game so much that I pushed off the urge and continued to play instead. Finally, I felt like I was going to burst. I remember running to the bathroom - frantically trying to take off my diaper when it happened: I wet myself. I remember looking down, and watching my diaper fill with pee. I had been holding it for a long time, and I wet a lot. What surprised me the most though, was that this "baby diaper" held my whole wetting. Here I was, a young kid - technically too old to wear diapers, yet I just used one with no trouble. Even though I knew at the time what was happening was wrong, something about it felt so right. I can't place my finger on why, but ever since that experience, I've always felt comfort from diapers.

Eventually, my mom found out that day, and took my diaper away. She never let me or my sister play with or use the diapers again. I remember standing in the bathroom as my mom was drawing a bath - looking over at my used diaper that was rolled up on the bathroom counter. I felt incomplete, like something was missing. All the comfort, confidence, and freedom I felt wearing diapers seemed distant. It was from that day on that diapers became something special to me: a comfort that nothing else seems to fit.

 

[TheDude123]

Does she have to understand it? Do you have to understand why she needs her Target/Starbucks runs? (Or whatever her thing is) It was hard for my wife at first too. Counseling helped some. Now it doesn’t matter why. When she indulges me we both have an amazing time. But it took years.

My wife is saying the same thing right now also. Any advice? Paddedinhaslet have you made in ground?

 

[Labrador]

I honestly don’t know what got me started. No abuse or anything. The only possible trigger I could think of was on a camping trip when I was, like, 4. I wet enough of the underwear that we had brought that my mother finally put me in a pull-up and sent me back out to the campfire. I remember hearing the crinkling (this was the late 90s) and feeling embarrassed. I suppose that might have tripped something. I was also slow to toilet train.
It started as a fetish, but Overtime though, after having worn them for awhile it stopped being a sexual thing for me, and now it’s just something I enjoy. It’s still an emotional reaction to wearing them, but not arousal anymore. It’s hard to explain. Whenever I dreamt about them it was never a turn-on in the dreams either.

 

[wickedcul]

my first memory was grabbing a diaper and sneaking out back behind and outdoor chimney and trying it on. i was the youngest in the family, so they must have been mine, but i must have been out of them by then if i felt like i was sneaking.
i don't remember much about being potty trained or any of that. later in my single digit years, i have another memory of searching in my grandparents' room looking for diapers.
so, i don't know where the desire came from, but it just happened as far as i'm concerned.

 

[LittleJ123]

I was potty trained around 2 years of age (according to my parents). They offered me toys in exchange for giving up diapers and I quit cold turkey. It was a couple years later (around 4) that my fascination for them rose. My older sister and I used to play "family" as kids, and I was usually her baby when we played. One day, we asked my mom if I could wear some diapers to look/feel more like a baby while we played. We still had plenty left over from when we were younger, and my mom surprisingly said yes, as long as we didn't actually use them.

I was playing diapered one day with my sister and realized that I had to pee very badly. I was enjoying our game so much that I pushed off the urge and continued to play instead. Finally, I felt like I was going to burst. I remember running to the bathroom - frantically trying to take off my diaper when it happened: I wet myself. I remember looking down, and watching my diaper fill with pee. I had been holding it for a long time, and I wet a lot. What surprised me the most though, was that this "baby diaper" held my whole wetting. Here I was, a young kid - technically too old to wear diapers, yet I just used one with no trouble. Even though I knew at the time what was happening was wrong, something about it felt so right. I can't place my finger on why, but ever since that experience, I've always felt comfort from diapers.

Eventually, my mom found out that day, and took my diaper away. She never let me or my sister play with or use the diapers again. I remember standing in the bathroom as my mom was drawing a bath - looking over at my used diaper that was rolled up on the bathroom counter. I felt incomplete, like something was missing. All the comfort, confidence, and freedom I felt wearing diapers seemed distant. It was from that day on that diapers became something special to me: a comfort that nothing else seems to fit.

Something important to note about this: I had an existing fascination with babyhood prior to my diaper experience as a child. I was "playing baby" with my sister when the request to use actual diapers was brought up. It's hard to specifically identify the causation as nature or nurture. One thing is for certain though: they both played a role.

 

[arctic]

A storm hit my area last night and kept me awake nearly the whole night. I tried to get to sleep but no luck. My mind kept thinking up new stuff. One thing I remember was reflecting on why I think I became ABDL. It started with me being potty trained at 2. I remember it well. One day my mom took my diaper off and I was traumatized. I don’t know how to explain the level of trauma. My life had fallen apart in an instant. I remembered a detail that I previously didn’t remember. I remember how cold I felt. I asked about it later in life and my mom said it was because I had stopped wetting them. I basically potty trained myself. Last night I was disappointed in myself. Wishing my younger self had continued to use the diapers. So I could have more memories of wearing diapers.

Then when I was about 5 I wet my pants at daycare. I got up to go to the bathroom but when I went through the door. I looked down and saw I peed my pants. I don’t remember feeling like I had to go or the feeling of peeing my pants. The babysitter got angry with me and grabbed me by my arm. She threw me on the floor and ripped my pants and underwear off violently and pulled out a diaper. I apparently started to smile because she said something like “you think this is funny?”. I was forced to wear a diaper and sit in wet clothes until my parents came to pick me up. The other kids’ parents came and the babysitter made it a point to tell everyone how I wet myself. When my dad came to pick me up. He was told and he had a look of shock and didn’t say anything that I remember. He wasn’t angry or disappointed. It seemed he was more concerned but didn’t know what to say or do. We got home and I took my diaper off in the bathroom and went pee. I left the unused diaper on the floor of the bathroom and my parents wanted to talk to me. My dad asked if I needed to be put back in diapers. I said no because of all of the shame I experienced. I so badly wish I said yes. That would have been 1995 and I could have experienced more of the plastic backed diapers.

From that point onward I had a fascination with diapers. I always wanted to be wearing one but it was taboo. So it was repressed most of my life. Still kind of is. It wasn’t until I was about 13-14 and found out my younger cousins wore L/XL Goodnites. I had never heard of them before. I snuck over to their overnight bag when the stayed the night and pulled a girls goodnite out and I looked at it and thought it was HUGE. I freaked for a minute because I thought there was something horribly wrong. My cousins were about 8-10 years younger than me but they were obese. So they wore L/XL. It didn’t make sense at first because I associated diapers for young children and young children were smaller. Which they were quite a bit shorter than me but were fatter. Which I didn’t put the pieces together on that. So when I pulled that goodnite out. I actually thought I shrank or something. I put it on later and it was huge on me at 13-14 years old. I never was able to get myself to use them. I don’t remember what happened to it. I eventually threw it away because I didn’t want my parents to find it in my room.

When I got a job at 17. I bought the race car Goodnites and hid them in my parents’ pop up camper. I did that for awhile. Sneaking out to the garage at night. Got caught plenty of times but always had a good excuse why I was out there. Can’t remember what it was. Goodnites became my gateway drug to ABDL.

So I feel pretty confident that I had an attachment to diapers in my youth. If anyone knows anything about attachment theory. You bond emotionally with an object for comfort. When your primary caregiver begins to have less and less involvement in your life as you get older. The type of stuff where a mother will let their child “cry it out” because the mother can’t always be there all the time. When the child wants a change or wants fed or simply wants held. They begin to get less of that. They get fed and changed but it seems they get held less. This is a traumatic experience. So children tend to bond with objects for comfort. It is believed that people who have blankies or teddy bears in their adult lives are a carryover from attachment. Diapers get taken away in most cases because most children potty train and never go back. If it’s anything like my experience. It was likely traumatic. Adults sometimes go to their attachment object for comfort in stressful situations. It isn’t too often but many adults still sleep with teddy bears. It is believed that it could go as far as someone attaching to the last object their caregiver touched or one they touched regularly. So the last time you got a diaper change or that was the only time you got attention was to get a change regularly. So you associated the diaper with comfort in the absence of your caregiver.

I grew up being physically abused by my older brother and my mom was emotionally distressed all of the time. There was not a lot of stability in my home. So as I became an adult. I began to find myself coming to diapers for comfort but I didn’t know it at the time. I eventually found out it correlated with moments of increased stress. My childhood trauma has lingered and has created an anxious, depressed and jumpy adult. The usual stuff doesn’t help to calm me down. I’m getting counseling but it’s slow going. I have wanted to become a little but my wife doesn’t approve of this. There’s just something to letting go of everything for a moment.

This is so relatable.

 

[GermanDL]

I just found out that diapers had a weird attraction to me, even as a Kid

 

[Christopolis]

i cant pinpoint an exact time where i became a dl but i remember in kindergarden they had this kitchen set and behind it they had drawers and i distinctly remember finding a diaper in it. i don't remember much from then until about 9 or 10 where i would look up pictures of diapers on the internet i like to say kindergarden but i cant say for sure.

 

[Sheogorat]

I don't know exactly, but my guess is that I was bullied a little in preschool + the fact that I had no daddy or grandpa, just my mother and grandmother. That's why somewhere around 6-8 years old I started thinking about diapers.

Later due to a combination of circumstances (family problems, bullying in high school, lack of attention due to my abusive stepfather and the birth of my little sister) I started to think about diapers again. After a little research (even though I made a lot of mistakes, I was pretty smart at the age of 13.), I realized that ABDL is a thing. I really liked it. And so I had a considerable set of unusual fetishes at age 14 and a somewhat oddly formed world understanding and an odd (in a good way) way of communicating with others.

Many things have changed since then, but I still have many of these things, although in a slightly altered form. That's how my personality was formed. But maybe I'll outgrow it all...

But still ABDL is a part that is almost 40% of my life. Friends, memories, feelings.... Most of my good memories from high school are about really cute art I seen that day or how interesting ABDL roleplay came out. I am such a weirdo :Р

 

[Ali123]

I don't know exactly, but my guess is that I was bullied a little in preschool + the fact that I had no daddy or grandpa, just my mother and grandmother. That's why somewhere around 6-8 years old I started thinking about diapers.

Later due to a combination of circumstances (family problems, bullying in high school, lack of attention due to my abusive stepfather and the birth of my little sister) I started to think about diapers again. After a little research (even though I made a lot of mistakes, I was pretty smart at the age of 13.), I realized that ABDL is a thing. I really liked it. And so I had a considerable set of unusual fetishes at age 14 and a somewhat oddly formed world understanding and an odd (in a good way) way of communicating with others.

Many things have changed since then, but I still have many of these things, although in a slightly altered form. That's how my personality was formed. But maybe I'll outgrow it all...

But still ABDL is a part that is almost 40% of my life. Friends, memories, feelings.... Most of my good memories from high school are about really cute art I seen that day or how interesting ABDL roleplay came out. I am such a weirdo :Р

You’re not a weirdo. It’s a good job we’re not all the same. What fun would that be?

 

[TygerKiddo]

I was severely abused by some very sick-minded people while I was a young boy, to the point that my whole inner world shattered and I was very afraid. In the trauma, I dissociated and disconnected myself from the world as a way of surviving and coping with what I had been through. I grew up in this detached state. The regular experiences of life would still happen for me but I was in some way very disconnected from the experience going on right in front of me. I struggled for awhile with potty training, but after being given enough incentive, I was properly potty trained and didn’t have too much of a problem with that other than a few instances where I had a very random accident or two. I didn’t have any interest in returning to diapers, until about my early teen years, when I started having these strange feelings and urges that I couldn’t explain. Like one day, when after a trip to a creek to go swimming with friends, we got into the car to drive home, but our bathing suits were still wet. We didn’t have any clothes to change into, so we put down towels to sit on in the car and the parents got out some white garbage bags and layed them flat under the towels between us and the seats to keep the seats dry. I sat there on the drive home with a towel and a garbage bag underneath me, when I started having these odd thoughts. I felt like putting the garbage bag around me.
Later when I got home, I grabbed a white garbage bag and some tape. I went to the bathroom and shut the door. I then laid the garbage bag flat on the ground, and I lied down on it. Placing tapes on the sides, I brought the front of the bag over my groin area and proceeded to diaper myself using the trash bag until I was wearing it like a diaper. Other times in my teenage years, I would have thoughts about diapers or stare at advertisements for baby diapers, but I never really did much about it, except question why I was having thoughts like that. All that was put on hold for some time, and I didn’t do anything diaper related except make a trash bag diaper to wear on very rare occasion . Those were few and far in between and I would feel slightly shameful about wearing them. I would always throw them away after.
Later as an adult, I would sometimes go through the “binge and purge” cycles of buying diapers, wearing them for a bit, and then tossing everything out and walking away from it. It started with kids bed wetting underwear and then moved to me buying actual pharmacy adult sized diapers. I wanted to walk away from all of it, time and time again. I would go through extremely long periods of not wearing diapers. And then every so often, the irresistible urge would come up, and I would find myself buying more… only to toss them out a few days later. I had walked away from them again on another long period of not wearing them. And then one night, for whatever reason, I had a small accident on myself while I was sleeping and barely wet my clothes. That was it for me. My inner child was screaming at me to be in a diaper so I could feel stress free like I didn’t have to worry about having an accident. I went that day to a pharmacy store and bought diapers to wear and I put one on.
Then after a few days of wearing that, I thought to myself, “why am I wearing these lousy diapers? If I am going to wear this stuff, then why don’t I give myself the real abdl experience and buy better diapers and see what quality diapers are actually like?”
I ordered some InControl diapers. They arrived and I pulled one out of the package.
“Sure they are going to be better than pharmacy diapers, but they aren’t really going to be THAT much better right?”
I then tried one on. I was surprised by what I experienced. The usual trauma-caused storm of static noise that was normally going on in my head all of the time suddenly started dying down. Feelings of comfort, security, and peace started filling my thoughts as my stress based cares disappeared. A feeling of safety and confidence came back to me, all while feeling like a safe little child who could now relax comfortably instead of suffer in constant mental agony. Pharmacy diapers had never done that for me before, and I was amazed it could feel so pleasing to wear a diaper. I don’t have to wear diapers. I usually never have accidents, but the emotional effects and mental peace of mind seem to help me cope with the effects of trauma. After that , I started embracing the parts of myself that wanted to wear diapers. I started buying and trying different abdl diapers. Months later , I sit here typing this while wearing a LittleKings diaper. I’m still torn between wanting to wear and not wanting to wear, but at least wearing most of the time these past couple months has helped me to relax and breathe again.

 

[Adrian697DL]

I can't remember a specific catalyst. I think I may have come across something about it online about 20 years ago and decided to experiment. Rather like weeing in the shower I found it addictive. However I struggle with nappies in hot weather such as we're currently experiencing in the UK. When I'm at home in such weather I'm more inclined to wear boxer shorts and do it commando too. The air needs to circulate.

 

[Tappy]

For as long as I can remember I have always had a kinky side . After I met my ex , she mentioned to me that she wanted to be a baby .
I had no real knowledge of what she meant , but she explained that she would like to try wearing a diaper .
I said , sure , why not !! She was a little shocked but I told her I loved all of her and was willing to explore all your kinks .
That was my first time as a soft top , she wanted to be held and drink from a baby bottle and wear diapers .
Both of us were exploring new ground , keep in mind this was long before adult diapers were a common place , so we used cloth and picked up some plastic pants at a medical supply store .
I was totally on board with this and we explored other kinks as well .
All during a time when true self expression would land you in a psych ward !!

I tried as well , and it was different , but good .
It was like being comfortable and really relaxed .

A few years later Attends came out with their 3X3 tapped briefs , and the rest is as they say , history ?

Later ,

T.

 

[GoodnitesBoy2000]

My brother being born and parents pretty much forgetting about me at around 3-4.