What happened for you to become ABDL?

[LittleRascal]

8 months old during surgery I had septicaemia and was burning to heats unimaginable I had a lump on the back of my head it was scary for sure I remember the day like it was yesterday despite being so young it’s engraved into my soul at the time I was only wearing a diaper and I took comfort in it that’s when it started.

When I was finally potty trained I remember just wanting to wear them again and the pain that came with not being able to it was never about starting I was essentially born into it engraved into my soul. Long story short at the age of 21/22 I went camping and got discovered it was surprisingly taken well and now I’m genuinely thrilled to have my closet packed with diapers and two sets of draws full of age play apparel, it all goes through the wash the same and isn’t an issue.

Truly blessed to have things turn out the way they did I’ve also got pacifiers which I use in my private time but there existence is not a secret.

 

[Deleted member 28729]

Does she have to understand it? Do you have to understand why she needs her Target/Starbucks runs? (Or whatever her thing is) It was hard for my wife at first too. Counseling helped some. Now it doesn’t matter why. When she indulges me we both have an amazing time. But it took years.

Well I told her about 9 years ago and while she has softened her stance a little since then, she still wants nothing to do with it. Every year when she asks what I want for my birthday, I ask if she would see a diaper for me just one time, and she always shoots me down. My birthday is in March so I will definitely try again. Haha

 

[Zeke]

Incontinence hit about 50 years after finally gaining dryness through the night after years as a prepubescent bed wetter, after 60 years of being a plastic pants lover, and approximately 58 years after being initially potty trained. My dual ic coincided with the weaning of myself off high dosages of morphine and hydrocodone which “undid” and “reversed” my many years of opioid induced constipation which made me quite thankful that I was wearing a diaper on those many occasions when they were sorely needed.

 

[TheMat]

Well I told her about 9 years ago and while she has softened her stance a little since then, she still wants nothing to do with it. Every year when she asks what I want for my birthday, I ask if she would see a diaper for me just one time, and she always shoots me down. My birthday is in March so I will definitely try again. Haha

There’s gotta be some give and take in marriage. Ask her if there’s something you can do for her if she does this for you.

 

[baliebox4916]

heres my story

i got into abdl as a kid back in 2002 or so

around this time i wanted to go to school to get away from all the news regarding 9/11 and shit like that and to also meet friends and learn about things

but that would also mean i would give up wearing diapers (which i had worn larger sized girls baby diapers up until i was 5 (i was taken out of pull ups when i was 3 due to my mom thinking i would be more comfortable in diapers for longer)

one day in the fall of 2002 i remember my dads friend brought over his friends, the kids that were my age were kinda rebellious and the only nerdy kid was their older brother who was 10x our age (he was the guy besides my current neighbour who got introduced us to the old pokemon games outside the anime and even some other old ps1 and n64 era games)

he would baby sit me and would say you dont need a babysitter if you dont wear diapers

after that i found the last baby diaper i wore before going to kindergarten (a girls life brand diaper from 2000-2001) at first i put the diaper on my bear, but then found out that both my bear and my small child/toddler body could fit in my old stroller

so i put the diaper on to see if it would fit me and it felt so nostalgic, i even wet the diaper after remembering that the fluff in diapers are supposed to get squishy over time somehow

however the problem was when i came down my mom, my conservative aunt and my dad who came home drunk all saw me in a diaper and chased me until my dad ripped the diaper off me and threw it out

the biggest blow with me being abdl however was when my neighbour moved away in 2004 and my dads friends older son moved away to start a band which left me with no friends (there was this one kid my mom tried to get me to hang out with but he was too childish for me even back then) i wanted friends that were into anime, games and 90s media like the ones you see in stories online and also could put up with my shenanigans and protect me

after the diaper incident whenever my mom would take me to the pediatrician i would steal their diapers (sadly most of the diapers they had were size 4 pampers baby drys so they didn't fit me but if canada had size 7s back then, you bet i would wear them)

my addiction to diapers got stronger when my nephew was born, whenever my sister would change his diapers i would play with his wet diapers (my moms friend also had a baby girl around this time who i would try to check her diapers but moms friend would allow me to do it)

but things got even worst when my dad passed away when i was sent to a group home where i was abused and treated like a 2 year old because of my autism (these people were very rude with me and talked down to me like i was a baby and only did this for a paycheck and looked like they wanted to go home badly and leave us "special needs" kids here alone) this negatively affected me both sexually and mentally (especially with my social worker who worked their hating me being a furry despite him being both gay and working for the people who tried to regress me negatively)

eventually when i was allowed to become a furry this was when mlp was starting to become popular so i made my own furry characters augest (the fox girl you see in my profile pic) and daisy (a bunny character with long blonde hair and a flower hair clip)

back on topic about abdl

once i saw fanart of characters in diapers and how detailed artists would draw diapers compared to the cartoony diapers seen in canadian and american cartoons, i fell in love with diapers even more seeing the ocs staining the colorful prints on their diapers as they get big, seeing how frilly the leg cuffs were on their diapers, seeing the bulge in the padding, the yellow indicators and the dresses/skirts the characters would wear with their diapers i was hooked for life (it was so cute)

but the issue is all this time my mom dislikes me being abdl

one time in 2010 my mom got some abena maxi pads for an old person she was taking care of and my mom, my social worker and me were fighting over these "diapers" eventually having my social worker snatching it from me and throwing it out

another "recent" instance of how my mom treats me being abdl is that when i wore a pull up one time it leaked onto the floor and my mom was wondering what i was doing but when she found out i wet a pull up she flipped out (she nearly threw out all my diapers which wasn't alot but there was some expensive diapers in there such as the vintage luvs from the 80s that bunny was wearing and both the 2000 era tena (which i recently used today) and some tena maxi pads as well)

in fact my whole family doesn't like the idea of me being abdl (they also dont like the idea of me being a trans lesbian as well which that alone was also caused from the special ed class i was in and the idea of if all the good girls are taken and all the girls that im attracted to end up becoming trans men or non binary then i might as well become a girl so i can regain my cute figure that girls loved me for when i was a teen)

back on topic about abdl, even my sister who is very liberal hates the idea of me being an abdl (she already hates the idea of my neice possibly being a trans boy and might really hate me being a trans girl as she sees me as both an uncle figure and her little brother) so that goes to show you how my family is

 

[I12BLittle89]

heres my story

i got into abdl as a kid back in 2002 or so

around this time i wanted to go to school to get away from all the news regarding 9/11 and shit like that and to also meet friends and learn about things

but that would also mean i would give up wearing diapers (which i had worn larger sized girls baby diapers up until i was 5 (i was taken out of pull ups when i was 3 due to my mom thinking i would be more comfortable in diapers for longer)

one day in the fall of 2002 i remember my dads friend brought over his friends, the kids that were my age were kinda rebellious and the only nerdy kid was their older brother who was 10x our age (he was the guy besides my current neighbour who got introduced us to the old pokemon games outside the anime and even some other old ps1 and n64 era games)

he would baby sit me and would say you dont need a babysitter if you dont wear diapers

after that i found the last baby diaper i wore before going to kindergarten (a girls life brand diaper from 2000-2001) at first i put the diaper on my bear, but then found out that both my bear and my small child/toddler body could fit in my old stroller

so i put the diaper on to see if it would fit me and it felt so nostalgic, i even wet the diaper after remembering that the fluff in diapers are supposed to get squishy over time somehow

however the problem was when i came down my mom, my conservative aunt and my dad who came home drunk all saw me in a diaper and chased me until my dad ripped the diaper off me and threw it out

the biggest blow with me being abdl however was when my neighbour moved away in 2004 and my dads friends older son moved away to start a band which left me with no friends (there was this one kid my mom tried to get me to hang out with but he was too childish for me even back then) i wanted friends that were into anime, games and 90s media like the ones you see in stories online and also could put up with my shenanigans and protect me

after the diaper incident whenever my mom would take me to the pediatrician i would steal their diapers (sadly most of the diapers they had were size 4 pampers baby drys so they didn't fit me but if canada had size 7s back then, you bet i would wear them)

my addiction to diapers got stronger when my nephew was born, whenever my sister would change his diapers i would play with his wet diapers (my moms friend also had a baby girl around this time who i would try to check her diapers but moms friend would allow me to do it)

but things got even worst when my dad passed away when i was sent to a group home where i was abused and treated like a 2 year old because of my autism (these people were very rude with me and talked down to me like i was a baby and only did this for a paycheck and looked like they wanted to go home badly and leave us "special needs" kids here alone) this negatively affected me both sexually and mentally (especially with my social worker who worked their hating me being a furry despite him being both gay and working for the people who tried to regress me negatively)

eventually when i was allowed to become a furry this was when mlp was starting to become popular so i made my own furry characters augest (the fox girl you see in my profile pic) and daisy (a bunny character with long blonde hair and a flower hair clip)

back on topic about abdl

once i saw fanart of characters in diapers and how detailed artists would draw diapers compared to the cartoony diapers seen in canadian and american cartoons, i fell in love with diapers even more seeing the ocs staining the colorful prints on their diapers as they get big, seeing how frilly the leg cuffs were on their diapers, seeing the bulge in the padding, the yellow indicators and the dresses/skirts the characters would wear with their diapers i was hooked for life (it was so cute)

but the issue is all this time my mom dislikes me being abdl

one time in 2010 my mom got some abena maxi pads for an old person she was taking care of and my mom, my social worker and me were fighting over these "diapers" eventually having my social worker snatching it from me and throwing it out

another "recent" instance of how my mom treats me being abdl is that when i wore a pull up one time it leaked onto the floor and my mom was wondering what i was doing but when she found out i wet a pull up she flipped out (she nearly threw out all my diapers which wasn't alot but there was some expensive diapers in there such as the vintage luvs from the 80s that bunny was wearing and both the 2000 era tena (which i recently used today) and some tena maxi pads as well)

in fact my whole family doesn't like the idea of me being abdl (they also dont like the idea of me being a trans lesbian as well which that alone was also caused from the special ed class i was in and the idea of if all the good girls are taken and all the girls that im attracted to end up becoming trans men or non binary then i might as well become a girl so i can regain my cute figure that girls loved me for when i was a teen)

back on topic about abdl, even my sister who is very liberal hates the idea of me being an abdl (she already hates the idea of my neice possibly being a trans boy and might really hate me being a trans girl as she sees me as both an uncle figure and her little brother) so that goes to show you how my family is

This plays into my theory that recurring emotional or physical trauma triggers this behavior. But it isn’t that easy. Not everyone who experiences trauma are bent towards this lifestyle. Not everyone who is part of this lifestyle experienced trauma. But that tends to be a trend at least. Autism seems to be on the list too. I have been exploring what I thought was autism in my own life but turned out is ADD. At least undiagnosed but it appears pretty certain. In that research I found that there’s an overlap with ADD, autism and OCD. They have their own individual characteristics unique to their respective conditions but there’s some that’s shared. So I wonder if these conditions have anything to do with it.

 

[I12BLittle89]

 

[Drifter]

Don’t know why I am a DL, I just know I’ve always had the desire to wear from a very young age. I wish I did know why because then I could tell my wife. She takes the stance of “if you don’t understand why you like to wear then how do you expect me to understand it?”

There is a process that many (all?) animals, including humans, go through that strongly influence an individual's social/sexual preferences for life. Many people have never heard of it but it's called "imprinting" and research done since the 1950's shows consistently repeatable results in getting animals to identify unusual creatures or inanimate objects as suitable mothers or desired objects for mating with. Research on humans is severely limited because of ethical concerns, consisting mainly comparing an individual's early environment to his/her sexual preferences later in life. I'm not aware of, and don't expect, any research involving an attraction to diapers. Imprinting is about how a creature's early environment impacts the social/sexual preferences that we once believed were simply instinctive or genetic. The relatively new field of "epigenetics" will no doubt shed more light on this.

Unfortunately, the bottom line still is that most people will continue to see ABDL desires as a sign of mental illness regardless of what scientists tell us. As far as I know, unlike mental illnesses, there is no 'cure' for imprinted desires.

 

[I12BLittle89]

There is a process that many (all?) animals, including humans, go through that strongly influence an individual's social/sexual preferences for life. Many people have never heard of it but it's called "imprinting" and research done since the 1950's shows consistently repeatable results in getting animals to identify unusual creatures or inanimate objects as suitable mothers or desired objects for mating with. Research on humans is severely limited because of ethical concerns, consisting mainly comparing an individual's early environment to his/her sexual preferences later in life. I'm not aware of, and don't expect, any research involving an attraction to diapers. Imprinting is about how a creature's early environment impacts the social/sexual preferences that we once believed were simply instinctive or genetic. The relatively new field of "epigenetics" will no doubt shed more light on this.

Unfortunately, the bottom line still is that most people will continue to see ABDL desires as a sign of mental illness regardless of what scientists tell us. As far as I know, unlike mental illnesses, there is no 'cure' for imprinted desires.

Imprinting sounds very similar to attachment theory.

 

[Veljie]

don't know what happened but my earliest memory's is
1. not wanting to be toilet trained and having a lecture from my mother and sister
2. my mother put me in a cloth nappy and plastic pants before bed.

 

[Drifter]

Imprinting sounds very similar to attachment theory.

The two are similar in the sense that they both deal with emotional attachments early in life that lead to certain types of behavior later on. Imprinting is undoubtedly an evolved process that we are born with, but the specific things we form attachments to are things we experience in our environment in our early years. Imprinting differs from our normal learning process in that it generally happens relatively suddenly and, once imprinted on some specific object, it doesn't appear the attraction can be unlearned. The process appears to be geared towards survival of the species, but things like sexual attraction to same sex individuals; asphyxiation; diapers; or various other objects that don't appear to be any benefit for our long-term survival; are difficult to explain. The explanation I like best for those things is that evolution of the species isn't so much a matter of survival of the fittest individual as it is a matter of a species being flexible enough to survive under constantly changing conditions. Prior to learning about imprinting, the prevailing theory seemed to be that the only flexibility available to a species was relatively rare mutations in the genes.

 

[LittleAndAlone]

but things like sexual attraction to same sex individuals; asphyxiation; diapers; or various other objects that don't appear to be any benefit for our long-term survival; are difficult to explain. The explanation I like best for those things is that evolution of the species isn't so much a matter of survival of the fittest individual as it is a matter of a species being flexible enough to survive under constantly changing conditions.

Human intelligence is probably a significant input.

We are able to dream, imagine, create, act on abstract desires and impulse, etc. We have complex emotions and feelings like humiliation and embarrassment and compassion that aren't really experienced by other animals. We attach and interpret emotional value and traits with useless objects that are incomprehensible to other animals.

Never heard of any other animals doing any of that. And coincidentally other animals generally don't suffocate themselves or explore same sex relationships. If you put a put a pack of diapers out in the wild, I don't see any animals spontaneously getting butterflies in their tummy and feeling sheepish. If it's not eating, sleeping, or reproducing, and staying alive they don't care.

Conversely humans are, as an example, one of the only animals with a non functioning lordosis behavior. Our brains and the accompanying sense of individuality, self awareness, and capability for abstract thought has caused us to be able to willfully ignore or override numerous natural, biological, and evolutionary rules and functions and throw them out the window.

We are masters of consciously and willfully manipulating our own destiny and achieving abstract desires outside of the natural order with no regard for evolutionary cost or benefit. Animals are effectively stuck in autopilot and cannot do that, it's uniquely a human ability enabled by the difference in our brains.

When you have the luxury of being able to transform your environment itself so that you have any advantage you desire, petty biological evolutionary advantages or disadvantages are a meaningless pursuit. Survival becomes guaranteed and takes a back seat to luxury and entertainment and indulgence. Humans don't have to be flexible to survive changing conditions. We simply alter our surroundings to suit us and engineer familiarity and stability and reject external conditions. We have evolved to a point that survival its no longer our MO.

 

[LittleAndAlone]

In fact not only is survival no longer our M.O. as a species, we are capable of deciding we intentionally don't want to survive. We place a higher value on quality of life vs simply existing. Pretty sure this and the concept of suicide is also uniquely human versus every other animal on Earth.

 

[Drifter]

Conversely humans are, as an example, one of the only animals with a non functioning lordosis behavior.

Seems to function pretty well when girls are twerking! And twerking often has the evolved desired effect of attracting males.

Never heard of any other animals doing any of that.

Many animals apparently feel compassion for their offspring. I don't know if any of them have suicidal tendencies, but some are willing to fight to the death to protect their young.

As far as sexual variations go, animals have been known to engage in infantophilia, pedophilia, necrophilia, and sexual attraction to members of a different species. I believe homosexual behavior has also been observed in animals, but I can't cite specific examples. Penguins come to mind when talking about sexual variations in animals. Unlike the cute documentary movies you see now days, early explorers in artic regions noted how penguin males that were unable to find a suitable mate would copulate with just about any other penguin available, dead or alive, regardless of age.

As for cross species sexual activity, you have undoubtedly seen dogs displaying sexual attractions to humans. We just scold them when they do that, and make them stop, but the dogs often display what could be described as shame when we do that. Falcon breeders and people who raise bears are aware that their animals are capable of forming strong sexual attractions to humans to the exclusion of being sexually attracted to their own species, and they take steps to deal with that if they can't prevent it from happening.

 

[LittleAndAlone]

There are exceptions to everything of course. But it's nowhere near as prevalent as in humans who are able to willfully pursue things even if it's destructive to survival and purely for enjoyment. Animals are driven by nature and instinct, they aren't consciously deciding "hey I'm a necro I love humping corpses" and "this is who I and and Im sticking to it" as a personal preference. Hormones and instincts are just saying "get off now with whatever is available" with no attachment. Next time they possibly find a mate and don't even remember the corpse.

Notably a lot of exceptions you listed in animals were caused by outside human interference.

We are also good at anthropomorphizing and interpreting object and animal behavior through the lens of human existence. Do dogs really understand shame or do we just visually associate submissive pack behavior of lowering head and breaking eye contact as looking like shame to us?

I'm not an expert in any of this stuff, I'm an engineer. My life is circuits and machines.

Merely adding more possible fuel sources to the "we don't really understand why humans/animals do wierd things" fire.

 

[sjner2142]

I'm honestly not entirely sure when or how I became a DL (with some slight AB mixed in). I think that diapers are comforting to me, and that's probably the main reason. I also suffered abuse (physical, mental, and sexual) and have struggled with pretty bad anxiety issues since about age 7. So I think in some ways, at least subconsciously, diapers remind me of simpler and easier times.

 

[I12BLittle89]

I'm honestly not entirely sure when or how I became a DL (with some slight AB mixed in). I think that diapers are comforting to me, and that's probably the main reason. I also suffered abuse (physical, mental, and sexual) and have struggled with pretty bad anxiety issues since about age 7. So I think in some ways, at least subconsciously, diapers remind me of simpler and easier times.

Yep trauma and abuse seem to be a motivator for some of us.

 

[babyraggydolls]

In my late 30s I developed a leaky bladder, some days are worse than others. I’ve always been a little, I never really grew up and have a mind of a child. I decided I wanted to wear diapers for two reasons, one because of my leaking but two because of my anxiety surrounding the bathroom.

During childhood I was potty trained and in the summer holidays I was forced to go to work with my dad and just sit in the car while he was god knows where and it was sitting in the car for hours and hours and hours (6 hour days) often I would need to go to the toilet but I couldn’t a lot of the time and when I was bursting I would get panic attacks and the feeling of dread and it’s etched in to my mind in a way having a nappy is my safety net because I don’t have to live in fear of never making it to a bathroom again or being put in that situation ever again. If I went out and had an accident my nappy is there and I could cope until I could get home or get somewhere and change. I wish I was never potty trained or out through those things, I was 5 or 6 when I was forced to stay in the car and burst for the toilet. To me looking back at it, it was abuse to leave me in the hot car for hours and hours and it was every day without a break during the school holidays, then when he took me out of school at 13 it was every day for a long time until I was 18 and could leave and do my own thing.

 

[Hemix]

I have a pooping fetish, mostly diaper poop, although I started with panty poop. I decided to give diapers a try to go poop, but when I sat down with one on, I felt in love with them, they're so comfy and fluffy, and I don't even have to worry about sweating

 

[Soupsoup72]

My earliest memories are of getting my diaper changed as a toddler. I was out of diapers before 2. My second earliest memories are of wrapping a blanket between my legs to feel like I was wearing a diaper again. Basically I think I was born DL or at least tripped that switch VERY early on, wasn't interested in any AB stuff until a few years ago though.