What do you do when another person shows an interest to you (when you're IC)?

[RestrainU4Me]

i recently came into nighttime u-ic, dont know if it counts. if i had a girl giving me sings she was interested in a relationship i would keep going. if they like you they are more than able to look past some wet pants or diapers. who nows they might find it interesting. what would you do?

I’ve posted this a few times on this website.

As a lifetime DL who has told 20+ women I’ve found the longer you know someone the better they take it.

From MY experience, it goes a little something like this usually…

Telling a girl you just met you wear diapers on the first date or two: A girl is more inclined to look at you as some new guy with a big problem that they should find someone else.

Telling a girl after a month or two of dating(feelings developing): A girl will look at you as the amazing guy that she likes with a small problem.

Telling a longtime acquaintance/friend: Ok, I would have never guessed! Anything else I should know?

 

[Soggy247]

@CrossfireHurricane . . I hope you decide to go mate. I'm sure she is mature and understanding enough to be cool about it all. Pls dont let incontinence and diapers stop you from living a good life.. . . Keep us posted mate.

 

[AnonJohn]

A few thoughts.

Music: CSO is a good take and Mahler's 4th is awesome!
Brains: Loss aversion is a real thing. People value gaining something less than losing something (in this case, part of your privacy). It doesn't make sense but we are wired that way.
Relationships: She is clearly asking you out. While you have extra worries she is surely nervous too and would feel bad with a rejection. If you don't go, try to be extra nice. If you have any interest you should really consider it. I don't think you would be agonizing so much if you didn't. Go for it!
Diapers: If I wanted to go 10+ hrs w/o a change I would wear a Megamax and use a baby diaper as an insert. Don't tear it or cut stuff off. Just stick it in front. In a few hours go to a bathroom, pull it out, roll it up and you're in a mostly fresh megamax. You could even use a second baby diaper at that point, it's easy enough to stick one in a pocket. But it's probably best to do your normal routine and be present in what you are doing.

Good luck! Be kind to yourself!

 

[RestrainU4Me]

A few thoughts.

Music: CSO is a good take and Mahler's 4th is awesome!
Brains: Loss aversion is a real thing. People value gaining something less than losing something (in this case, part of your privacy). It doesn't make sense but we are wired that way.
Relationships: She is clearly asking you out. While you have extra worries she is surely nervous too and would feel bad with a rejection. If you don't go, try to be extra nice. If you have any interest you should really consider it. I don't think you would be agonizing so much if you didn't. Go for it!
Diapers: If I wanted to go 10+ hrs w/o a change I would wear a Megamax and use a baby diaper as an insert. Don't tear it or cut stuff off. Just stick it in front. In a few hours go to a bathroom, pull it out, roll it up and you're in a mostly fresh megamax. You could even use a second baby diaper at that point, it's easy enough to stick one in a pocket. But it's probably best to do your normal routine and be present in what you are doing.

Good luck! Be kind to yourself!

She wouldn’t drive 2+ hours away from home with him if she already didn’t feel comfortable, safe and like him…

 

[Soggy247]

She is clearly asking you out.

Agreed. . . . She clearly wants to get to know you better for sure. . . .

And @Anonjhas sone very good tips there. . Plastic pants will help with smells too if you were that worried. . .

Go for it mate, 1 thing ive learned is to not do something you later regret. Grab the bull by the horns . .

 

[Dinotopian2002]

@CrossfireHurricane I hope your date goes well. A lot of us here are rooting for you.

I appreciate your concerns, but on one level, first dates are out of everyone’s comfort zone, regardless of what underwear they have on. Sometimes we can get so bogged down in logistics and micromanaging, we can fail to see the bigger picture.

Speaking as someone who is medically IC, neurodivergent and a wheelchair user, I really didn’t think I’d ever find myself a partner who’d be interested in me, considering all my health issues, but last year I got lucky and met an amazing woman, who loves me just as I am. And I firmly believe you’ll be able to find someone who loves and accepts you as you are. The first step is to believe that you are worthy of being loved as you are, and recognising that none of us are perfect.

As nerve-wracking as it can be, I’d urge you to find a way to make it work. Your diaper needs do not define you, they are just one part of your identity. As long as you give yourself a chance for the other parts of you to shine as well, then she will get a better impression of who you are.

Best of luck my friend.

Breathe Deep, Seek Peace
Dinotopian2002

 

[CrossfireHurricane]

Here we go. I'm taking her for dinner tomorrow night. I've been thinking about how to approach IC. It's hard to not include diapers. I've considered telling her just the basics. She doesn't have to know everything. At least in the beginning. Of course she could reject me when she starts to understand what IC means. I've been rejected before. I have to be ready. But I'm trying to be positive.

 

[Soggy247]

@CrossfireHurricane. . . Well done bro. I'm so glad you decided to go out for dinner with her. Yes, you coukd be rejected, but theres also a 50% chance you might not. . . If she isnt understanding, then she usnt the 1 for you. Rejection sucks, especially because you wear adult nappies, but its not the end of the world. We have to kiss a few frogs before we find out prince/princess. . . . And, if your only going out for dinner, can you manage without a change for a few hours??. I know its not ideal, but it would maybe just give you the chance to get to know eachother a litte first, before you tell her all about your incontinence. I read a thing the other week that said to wait for a few dates so there's a connection before telling potential partners about the diapers and incontinence. It said that women are far more likely to accept it if they feel a conection rather than it being blurted out on the first date. . . Dunno how much truth is in that, but it might work. . Anyways, i hope it goes ok and pls let us know how it goes, I'm rootin for ya mate.

 

[LittleDiaperDreamer]

I'm rooting for you!! keep us updated

 

[CrossfireHurricane]

We went out for dinner last Saturday night. It went fairly smooth. After dinner we went to a pub and listened some band music. On the way back driving to her condo I started to tell her. I said I had a medical issue. She asked what it was. I said it was a chronic health problem that sometimes complicates going out like visiting the symphony. It was difficult but I finally told her that I'm incontinent. She said she might have thought that before and said it shouldn't stop us from seeing the CSO. Eventually I admitted that I was wearing a diaper. After a few minutes she finally said "it's really not a big deal." I'd prefer to not to give more details but we're going.

I can't believe that I told her. I'll leave it at that.

 

[Soggy247]

@CrossfireHurricane . . . . Thats amazing news. I'm so chuffed that its all worked out. I've been wondering how you got on since last weekend., lol . Nice 1 mate, i genuinely couldnt be happier for you. .

 

[RestrainU4Me]

We went out for dinner last Saturday night. It went fairly smooth. After dinner we went to a pub and listened some band music. On the way back driving to her condo I started to tell her. I said I had a medical issue. She asked what it was. I said it was a chronic health problem that sometimes complicates going out like visiting the symphony. It was difficult but I finally told her that I'm incontinent. She said she might have thought that before and said it shouldn't stop us from seeing the CSO. Eventually I admitted that I was wearing a diaper. After a few minutes she finally said "it's really not a big deal." I'd prefer to not to give more details but we're going.

I can't believe that I told her. I'll leave it at that.

I know it’s not easy telling people but you deserve a chance at relationships/happiness the same as everyone else.

Congrats on giving yourself a chance, that took a lot of courage.

It has to be better having an answer, than not knowing and thinking “what if” for the rest of your life.

You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take!

 

[SoggyGolfer]

That’s great. Also, happy for you!

 

[Lethdale]

We went out for dinner last Saturday night. It went fairly smooth. After dinner we went to a pub and listened some band music. On the way back driving to her condo I started to tell her. I said I had a medical issue. She asked what it was. I said it was a chronic health problem that sometimes complicates going out like visiting the symphony. It was difficult but I finally told her that I'm incontinent. She said she might have thought that before and said it shouldn't stop us from seeing the CSO. Eventually I admitted that I was wearing a diaper. After a few minutes she finally said "it's really not a big deal." I'd prefer to not to give more details but we're going.

I can't believe that I told her. I'll leave it at that.

Happy for you.

 

[elaleman]

This is great!

 

[Edgewater]

Good on you, good friend!
May it continue to go very well!!

 

[Jojo54]

I think you should just be upfront that seems to work for me.

 

[CrossfireHurricane]

Let me just say that we're going. She didn't discuss diapers though she understands that I'm wearing one.

 

[Lethdale]

Let me just say that we're going. She didn't discuss diapers though she understands that I'm wearing one.

Best way to be..matter of fact...no drama.

 

[LifeInPlastic]

That's easy. I make them loose interest. I prefer to stay single.

Cheers