The "I told someone" thread

[BabyBluePup]

About a decade ago, I eliminated a number of friends that I had come to know that they were simply using me to support their 'Oh poor me, isms.' Life is way to short and I have been able to place more time with those that really care and are a joy to be with. Toxic people are much the same, they are just not worth your time. Like the direction you are moving!

Yeah, personally, I do consider being more active here. In a way, I should put in a better direction that would make me feel more confident in things.

 

[Pbanimal908]

I told two of my closes friends who I will be staying in a hotel within the upcoming month for an event. They didn't say anything bad and accepted it. Not every person will have the same type of friends. It took me 6 years to tell them.

 

[messydiaper]

ABDL (DL) is completely sexual for me and that's why I have never told anyone except my wife and the cashiers at ABDL diaper stores. I don't mention other sexual preferences to my friends or family, and being a DL is right there with that. I am a kinky SOB, and only my wife needs to know that.

 

[abdlchristian12]

For me, telling anyone is absolutely terrifying. I was terrified when I told my wife. Aside from other ABDLs, I have no desire to tell any friends or family.

 

[AtPeace]

ABDL (DL) is completely sexual for me and that's why I have never told anyone except my wife and the cashiers at ABDL diaper stores. I don't mention other sexual preferences to my friends or family, and being a DL is right there with that. I am a kinky SOB, and only my wife needs to know that.

I respect that and have the same disposition about it. I understand that those for whom this isn't sexual would be happy to tell others, but to me it was always a strange thing to just tell people, for no good reason other than for them to know. I don't want them to know how shit goes down behind closed doors.

 

[greatlake5]

Now, to be bluntly honest, there is a vast difference between being IC than being AB/DL from an acceptance standpoint, as in the minds of the general public being IC has an understandable reason.

All I can say is really think before telling anyone. Look at the up-side AND the down-side. If you're honest, the damage is there forever. You'll heal but the scars remain. And visible. For everyone to see. I'm IC and when I was a kid, other students could be "unpleasant." Most of the adults around me understood the challenges I faced. I was lucky that I had friends who acted mature way over their ages. Now if I was ABDL, everything would be completely different.

I don't understand why anyone, who is ABDL, has this obsession with telling someone. You say your aunt is better than any therapist. Apparently she isn't. I have a remarkable therapist. Obviously I have different issues. But I advise you to get a good one. Not a loving aunt.

 

[BabyBluePup]

All I can say is really think before telling anyone. Look at the up-side AND the down-side. If you're honest, the damage is there forever. You'll heal but the scars remain. And visible. For everyone to see. I'm IC and when I was a kid, other students could be "unpleasant." Most of the adults around me understood the challenges I faced. I was lucky that I had friends who acted mature way over their ages. Now if I was ABDL, everything would be completely different.

I don't understand why anyone, who is ABDL, has this obsession with telling someone. You say your aunt is better than any therapist. Apparently she isn't. I have a remarkable therapist. Obviously I have different issues. But I advise you to get a good one. Not a loving aunt.

From my perspective, the reason why I told these people who used to be my friends was that they casually talked about their sexuality. Especially as I can't really tell that I might be different from straight people, since not a lot of them have diaper fetishes. I don't know if that makes me straight or not, it's really confusing as I never explored that much of my sexuality and just thought it was something similar to being LGBTQ. Of course, their reactions weren't very positive and banished me from it. Even though I thought I was on the spectrum for being a sexual minority, my ABDL desires are more non-sexual than it is with wanting to be a toddler and all.

 

[diapernh]

OK, let’s travel back to 1996 when i was a senior in high school. It was around this time of year. I had finally decided that I would give into my urges and buy some diapers. I felt that if I did not try them before college just to see how they were, i might never know.

I biked to Revco (what is now CVS) and bought a bag…. The wrong size but i made them work.

My mom was not home, so i put one on, wet it and then changed into another, put my sweats on and waited for her to come home.

“Mom I have something to tell you. I like wearing adult diapers”
“WHAT?”
So i said it again and this time showed her.

That was that… we talked, i said that this was nothing that she did or didn’t do, it is just something that has been on my mind and i knew if i started that i would not be able to hide it, and honestly did not want to sneak around. I wanted to try this before college.

During that timeframe my parents were divorcing, my dad had moved out the year prior. I was stressed with graduation and having to go off to college and be away from home. I saw it as a crisis and this was how i coped.

At first it was only diapers, then came pacifiers, bottles, and the clothing, etc….

For several years during and after college it was dicey with the diaper thing. I was not to wear out of my room unless fully covered, not out of the house for the most part. I also was not comfortable bringing bags of diapers into the house or having her see my bottles, and sippy cups. I ruined many bottles by waiting too long to wash them out.

About 15 years ago i just no longer cared anymore. I became honest with her about things, she told me one night that i did not need to sneak around washing my bottles and supplies, just throw them in the dirty dishes and she would wash them.

It is no secret what my room is like, what is in there and such. She has actually been to a couple munches, knows my friends. She knows what all goes on at CAPCon and the other conventions for the most part (i have told her). She said that if i ever go to a Con in Vegas she is coming.

NOW I do not tell the rest of my family, if they know or not i haven’t a clue. I can easily pass it off as IC if need be. I have 3 friends who i have told. Friend S1 & S2 i told because i needed or wanted some sewing work done. One helped me split the legs on some overalls and hem them, the other made me my pooh blankie

I have been learning more about my mental health, and that diapers are a part of my overall mental health care in addition to drugs. Making my way through this has helped me realize that I am somewhere on the Autism spectrum and/or ADHD (we have long suspected the ADHD).

 

[LittleBoyCuddles]

OK, let’s travel back to 1996 when i was a senior in high school. It was around this time of year. I had finally decided that I would give into my urges and buy some diapers. I felt that if I did not try them before college just to see how they were, i might never know.

I biked to Revco (what is now CVS) and bought a bag…. The wrong size but i made them work.

My mom was not home, so i put one on, wet it and then changed into another, put my sweats on and waited for her to come home.

“Mom I have something to tell you. I like wearing adult diapers”
“WHAT?”
So i said it again and this time showed her.

That was that… we talked, i said that this was nothing that she did or didn’t do, it is just something that has been on my mind and i knew if i started that i would not be able to hide it, and honestly did not want to sneak around. I wanted to try this before college.

During that timeframe my parents were divorcing, my dad had moved out the year prior. I was stressed with graduation and having to go off to college and be away from home. I saw it as a crisis and this was how i coped.

At first it was only diapers, then came pacifiers, bottles, and the clothing, etc….

For several years during and after college it was dicey with the diaper thing. I was not to wear out of my room unless fully covered, not out of the house for the most part. I also was not comfortable bringing bags of diapers into the house or having her see my bottles, and sippy cups. I ruined many bottles by waiting too long to wash them out.

About 15 years ago i just no longer cared anymore. I became honest with her about things, she told me one night that i did not need to sneak around washing my bottles and supplies, just throw them in the dirty dishes and she would wash them.

It is no secret what my room is like, what is in there and such. She has actually been to a couple munches, knows my friends. She knows what all goes on at CAPCon and the other conventions for the most part (i have told her). She said that if i ever go to a Con in Vegas she is coming.

NOW I do not tell the rest of my family, if they know or not i haven’t a clue. I can easily pass it off as IC if need be. I have 3 friends who i have told. Friend S1 & S2 i told because i needed or wanted some sewing work done. One helped me split the legs on some overalls and hem them, the other made me my pooh blankie

I have been learning more about my mental health, and that diapers are a part of my overall mental health care in addition to drugs. Making my way through this has helped me realize that I am somewhere on the Autism spectrum and/or ADHD (we have long suspected the ADHD).

Wow that is amazing. What makes her want to attend munches? Has she expressed interest in being a CG?

 

[diapernh]

Wow that is amazing. What makes her want to attend munches? Has she expressed interest in being a CG?

Cause she is tired of sitting at home… she does not drive

 

[BabyBluePup]

To extend what I said yesterday, all I want is to meet another ABDL friend in New York (particularly from the city, the Long Island area, and northern NJ, since I am from Staten Island). I would be even lucky if that happened to be a future girlfriend of mine. So I guess when I tried to come out, I was desperate to find out if they would accept me for who I am.

 

[ABDLlover]

I've seen a lot of individual thread where its "I told person A" or "I told person B" but they drop down and get buried on different pages pretty quick. So I wanted to make a dedicated thread for if you told someone for the first time and to share you experience and get support if if didn't go so great.

Well, I told my Aunt monday and it didn't go so great and I'm still processing that. My aunt is the greatest listener in my life. Better than any therapist by far. I sat with her and talked for hours about tons of different pyschological stuff that was bothering me and she always seems to understand and give good feedback. So I thought that's a green light to bring up the AB Stuff and the look she gave me really hurt. Despite me trying to explain it all she could muster was "you want to be a baby???" and I'm like "its not a choice". Her: "well you have to throw that out" and my response was "sure, I can throw it out, but I can't throw out my brain". ugh...

How do you talk for hours on end and this one thing is the "problem", ugh... But anyway I sat down and wrote a decent sized and very deeply thought out explanation, so next time I see her I'll give it another shot. Just feeling kind of meh over the whole thing. And context I'm in my 30's and she's like 71. I value her opinion and love her, so I just wanted her to understand.

As always I just want to say how much I appreciate this place, since its here and only here where there's a full understanding of what we experience and I don't have to feel bad about myself, and get what I just said off my chest.

To be honest, the first time my hubby brought it up with me all i could say was, "That's weird!" But as he got into depth with his feelings and gave me time to process I eventually came around. Now I am more offended if he don't wear when around me. And I would not change a thing about him. My only regret about this whole life style of his is that i was insensitive the first time he came out. I wish you luck and hope your Aunt comes around to acceptance. Give her time and a little info here and there but don't pressure her, and im sure she will love you just as much as she always has. It might be a little wierd at first, but it will get easier and easier over time until its normal.

 

[Stargazer93]

To be honest, the first time my hubby brought it up with me all i could say was, "That's weird!" But as he got into depth with his feelings and gave me time to process I eventually came around. Now I am more offended if he don't wear when around me. And I would not change a thing about him. My only regret about this whole life style of his is that i was insensitive the first time he came out. I wish you luck and hope your Aunt comes around to acceptance. Give her time and a little info here and there but don't pressure her, and im sure she will love you just as much as she always has. It might be a little wierd at first, but it will get easier and easier over time until its normal.

Thank you. I very much appreciate that.

 

[StinkyDink]

I understand the need to tell people.
Strongly consider why do they have to know? The bad reactions greatly outweigh the good reactions or even neutral reactions.
Generally the population at large sees abdl as a sexual fetish or worse.
Do you tell your family what you do in the bedroom? Do they tell you?
What are you expecting to change once you tell people?

things to ponder before telling someone

I agree fully. I've only ever considered telling someone who I think might be fully accepting and even willing to engage in that part of life with me. Still haven't told anyone but I've considered it and still am considering it with certain individuals. I'm just always acutely aware of how information travels between people and how easily the wrong people can learn of this very private (& embarrassing for me) part of your life. My girlfriend did recently find my goodnites in a drawer in a spare room of my house but I convinced her it was accidentally sent to me in a box of old things by my mom

 

[Pelusos]

I can't tell anyone, that's why I tell everyone. Here on the World Wide Web. But I have never told my friends or relatives face to face, not even my wife. Honest marriage needs it but I think I could be happy in secret. This secret is mine, only mine and I think my soul needs some exclusive property. Maybe it's an illusion of independence.
I know my wife would be sad if she got know I have a secret in my sexuality so I gather strength for telling her. In one of the pans of libra: she's happy because of my sincerity, in another pans: she thinks I'm weird... What does that libra show? I'm looking for an opportunity to tell her...

 

[jamiejamie]

I can't tell anyone, that's why I tell everyone. Here on the World Wide Web. But I have never told my friends or relatives face to face, not even my wife. Honest marriage needs it but I think I could be happy in secret. This secret is mine, only mine and I think my soul needs some exclusive property. Maybe it's an illusion of independence.
I know my wife would be sad if she got know I have a secret in my sexuality so I gather strength for telling her. In one of the pans of libra: she's happy because of my sincerity, in another pans: she thinks I'm weird... What does that libra show? I'm looking for an opportunity to tell her...

I’m the same way here. I was once caught my my wife cuz of my stupid phone posted my diaper onto Facebook. It was early in the morning and she asked what it was and I was able to remove the post and spilled out my secret. She wasn’t happy and I had to promise to stop it. So I threw away everything for the sake of our marriage. I was “sober” for 4 years before starting again secretly. Still maintaining it for 3 years now.

 

[SparkyDog]

I’m the same way here. I was once caught my my wife cuz of my stupid phone posted my diaper onto Facebook. It was early in the morning and she asked what it was and I was able to remove the post and spilled out my secret. She wasn’t happy and I had to promise to stop it. So I threw away everything for the sake of our marriage. I was “sober” for 4 years before starting again secretly. Still maintaining it for 3 years now.

how did your phone post to Facebook on its own?

 

[jamiejamie]

how did your phone post to Facebook on its own?

It was a new phone and I took a pic of myself, there was an icon on the bottom of the screen that post the pic to FB and I had accidentally touched it when I was putting it away.

 

[thelittlestkitten]

I told my childhood friend. They don’t understand regression or furrys for that fact. And unfortunately- some other things however she’s the only other person who knows how to be around me and make me smile so I can’t afford to lose her i suppose but she’d said she stop our 20 year old friendship if I end up wearing diapers… or baby talk or anything that’s in the lines of abdl/ regression. She knows I’m childish as a person so that doesn’t change anything but I was hoping she’d be a little bit more understanding. However she also knows about my bladder issues and said it’s fine if I end up needing diapers for that- so it’s kinda like a double wedge sword at this point maybe? But that’s my story for this thread.

 

[redprtodd]

The very first non-scene person I ever shared this with was a longtime friend who was more than a little bit older than me and coming to that point in their life where they were reflecting on their happiness, choices etc. He pretty much expressed a great deal of dissatisfaction in his marriage, his wife was essentially vanilla (my words, not his) and as we talk he kept beating around the kink bush. I took his way of approaching the subject as being coy, but turned out he had no vocabulary or exposure to kink and just didn't know there were terms to express what he wanted. I am one of those people who can't keep my mouth shut when I think I know something on a topic and I jump right into over explaining. Which leads to the question "Well how do you know so much about this stuff?" Time for me to play coy. Anyhoo - I ended up inviting him to a couple of our areas BDSM munch's and after he got his feet wet I told him all about me and what makes me tick. It greatly strengthened our friendship, and I have never once regretted telling him.

I also had similar circumstances arise with one of my oldest and dearest friends (we've been friends since we were 14, I am his children's god parent, etc). His wife figured out she was into kink around the time 50 shades was all the rage in the early 2000's- don't know if she was always kinky and 50 shades was the excuse, or if it really woke something in her - suppose it doesn't matter one way or the other. So, my best friends freaks out, he has no idea how to handle it he has a high libido but is very vanilla, the mere idea of hitting her was repugnant to him, he can't see himself in that role at all, he can only see it as abuse. He would shut her down anytime she brought it up so she becomes increasingly unhappy, He keeps trying to 'fix' her, they were both certain they were bound for divorce. One night he is at my place, super upset over things, so I admitted I had some material on the subject he could read to at least better understand her - I give him a small stack of books, different loving by brame was probably the best of the batch, he agreed to read them at least. After several years, they had rebuilt their marriage, she was very happy and my buddy was really expanding his horizons once he started down that road. Every now and again he would hint at wanting to know what my thing was, he'd say things like "I am curious, but not sure I really want to know, once I know I can't unknow it, etc..." So I had never talked about it with him. But one day he just flat out asked and I told him and I could tell it clearly made him uncomfortable. I really felt like I had messed up my friendship with my oldest friend. You could tell he was trying to not act weirded out and all, but it was clearly something the skeeved him out. Like the work he put into his marriage, I think he worked at being open to who I am, because every so often he would ask something insightful or make a joke about me wearing Huggies, etc. He put in effort for my sake (what an amazing gift). Now that his kids are grown, he and I and his wife have made a few trips together, we share a Disney villa annually, been to a condo and a lodge in the smokies, etc and I have been in little mode most of the time - while she is collard.

I also have told an ex girlfriend (that's overgenerous, she dated my roommate and when they broke up, we went out a few times before they got back together.) We reconnected a few years ago after running into each other at a store, and I told her completely on impulse on night over dinner. Now she occasionally babysits me, which is awesome.