The "I told someone" thread

[Stargazer93]

I've seen a lot of individual thread where its "I told person A" or "I told person B" but they drop down and get buried on different pages pretty quick. So I wanted to make a dedicated thread for if you told someone for the first time and to share you experience and get support if if didn't go so great.

Well, I told my Aunt monday and it didn't go so great and I'm still processing that. My aunt is the greatest listener in my life. Better than any therapist by far. I sat with her and talked for hours about tons of different pyschological stuff that was bothering me and she always seems to understand and give good feedback. So I thought that's a green light to bring up the AB Stuff and the look she gave me really hurt. Despite me trying to explain it all she could muster was "you want to be a baby???" and I'm like "its not a choice". Her: "well you have to throw that out" and my response was "sure, I can throw it out, but I can't throw out my brain". ugh...

How do you talk for hours on end and this one thing is the "problem", ugh... But anyway I sat down and wrote a decent sized and very deeply thought out explanation, so next time I see her I'll give it another shot. Just feeling kind of meh over the whole thing. And context I'm in my 30's and she's like 71. I value her opinion and love her, so I just wanted her to understand.

As always I just want to say how much I appreciate this place, since its here and only here where there's a full understanding of what we experience and I don't have to feel bad about myself, and get what I just said off my chest.

 

[Frungie]

Being understood, accepted, and attached/connected to people is a a fundamental human need. We don't know the base rates or prevalence rates of ABDL in the general population because wearing diapers as an adult is a clandestine activity, but it is low and we are in the minority. I would suggest talking more to your aunt to help her understand, but understanding and acceptance is also reciprocal. Understand her reactions to something that she is not aware of.

 

[Prillprillprill]

I told someone yesterday.

A friend who accidentally saw my nursery. It was a while ago but I finally brought it up yesterday and awkwardly explained. She actually said she's forgotten about the incident! But she was nice about it and actually said it was nice I had that.

I didn't go into much detail cos it's a private thing. Tbh I've never had a bad reaction from anyone around my age. It's older people who I'd be afraid of telling. And I would never ever tell my parents.

 

[Ceary]

I recently told my grandma and one sister and close friends and a couple acquaintances about wearing diapers and they were supportive or just heard me out (I am newly incontinent and I have to work in public diapered so I felt the need to express my situation to those I know). I told my mom and sister prior about my DL side since 14 because I didn't want to hold back on being me anymore. Most of it was awkward silence but I kept talking about it and my sister and mom understood it. My brother makes fun of me and I hide it but now I'm incontinent so I don't know how that would go. My dad thinks I'm cursed with my chronic illnesses so I haven't told him anything. I'm not sure why or how I've done what I've done... But I have been sick for so long I really just want to live the best life I can. I explain how the ABDL community is very important and helpful to me when I explain this part of my world to my closest friends/family. My bf is accepting and understanding of both sides. I am fortunate and I know not everything goes this way as I experienced being made fun of by my brother semi publicly/privately for years.

 

[CookieMonstah]

I've told numerous people, mainly girls when I was at school as I think telling any boy would've been relentless ridicule. I suppose to find some sort of acceptance from others and also hope to find someone who wasn't completely weirded out by it to run away and never speak again. Many people I told still spoke to me but I know of one girl who said we probably would've dated had it not been for me pretending to be a baby.

 

[SparkyDog]

I understand the need to tell people.
Strongly consider why do they have to know? The bad reactions greatly outweigh the good reactions or even neutral reactions.
Generally the population at large sees abdl as a sexual fetish or worse.
Do you tell your family what you do in the bedroom? Do they tell you?
What are you expecting to change once you tell people?

things to ponder before telling someone

 

[BabyHailey1977]

I’ve told many people. I’m 45 years old, already spent a career in the military and don’t live around my parents. But about two years ago I decided to start telling my family and close friends. Though they all think it’s weird, they accept me. Whenever my wife and I visit my parents, I’m diapered. There has not been any negativity with it. On a few occasions, my mom has actually smacked my butt after a hug.

My best friends wife was probably the funniest. I stopped by their house when I was visiting my hometown and as she was giving me a tour of their new house, she showed me the ultimate acceptance. We got to their daughters room (who at the time had a baby) and she said “I’d you need to change your diaper, the powder and wipes are in here.” Then she winked. I haven’t really had a negative response yet. When people love you, they seem to look past stuff like this and just want you to be truly happy.

 

[BabyHailey1977]

I understand the need to tell people.
Strongly consider why do they have to know? The bad reactions greatly outweigh the good reactions or even neutral reactions.
Generally the population at large sees abdl as a sexual fetish or worse.
Do you tell your family what you do in the bedroom? Do they tell you?
What are you expecting to change once you tell people?

things to ponder before telling someone

I decided to tell everyone because I went 24/7 and I wanted to get ahead of awkward situations. So far it’s worked out great.

 

[SparkyDog]

I decided to tell everyone because I went 24/7 and I wanted to get ahead of awkward situations. So far it’s worked out great.

And that's fantastic. Glad it worked out so well and you're loved and accepted. Unfortunately for many it doesn't go that well. Consider your self extremely lucky

 

[littledinogoesrawr]

Wow. You are so Brave guys.
I only told my wife, and that's that for me

It was exhausting mentally and emotionally, don't Want to repeat that again.

 

[littlemoosey]

I've seen a lot of individual thread where its "I told person A" or "I told person B" but they drop down and get buried on different pages pretty quick. So I wanted to make a dedicated thread for if you told someone for the first time and to share you experience and get support if if didn't go so great.

Well, I told my Aunt monday and it didn't go so great and I'm still processing that. My aunt is the greatest listener in my life. Better than any therapist by far. I sat with her and talked for hours about tons of different pyschological stuff that was bothering me and she always seems to understand and give good feedback. So I thought that's a green light to bring up the AB Stuff and the look she gave me really hurt. Despite me trying to explain it all she could muster was "you want to be a baby???" and I'm like "its not a choice". Her: "well you have to throw that out" and my response was "sure, I can throw it out, but I can't throw out my brain". ugh...

How do you talk for hours on end and this one thing is the "problem", ugh... But anyway I sat down and wrote a decent sized and very deeply thought out explanation, so next time I see her I'll give it another shot. Just feeling kind of meh over the whole thing. And context I'm in my 30's and she's like 71. I value her opinion and love her, so I just wanted her to understand.

As always I just want to say how much I appreciate this place, since its here and only here where there's a full understanding of what we experience and I don't have to feel bad about myself, and get what I just said off my chest.

Sorry you got that initial reaction. I think that we all want to tell people that are close to us because we want that acceptance and validation. Unfortunatley it does not always go the way it plays out in our head.

Perhaps she is still processing as well. You said that she was a good listener, I would think that what comes with that is the ability to think things through. This one might just take her a bit longer.... additionally, perhaps she feels badly about her initial response and is thinking of a sensitive way to reopen the subject.

Either way, I hope you can get past this.

 

[buridan]

Generally the population at large sees abdl as a sexual fetish or worse.

For most ABDLs, ABDL is a sexual fetish. Non-sexual ABDLs are over-represented on ADISC.

Sexual fetishes aren't bad! Sexual fetishes are fun!

Most people with sexual fetishes are private about them, with good reason. There are a lot of judgmental prudes out there. (Prudery is bad.) There are a lot of other people who aren't judgmental but don't want to know details about other people's sex lives. I hope my boss and my coworkers all have fulfilling sex lives, whatever that means for them. I'd rather not know the details. That would be unnecessarily distracting.

I've told a lot of people that I'm ABDL. Most of those people are other ABDLs. Almost all of the rest are people I met at leather bars and other social spaces that are specifically for kinky people. I've also told therapists I'm ABDL. I've told some personal friends that I'm kinky without sharing details. I implicitly tell strangers on the street that I'm kinky (without sharing details) when I go to a leather bar wearing a leather vest.

That most ABDLs are sexual ABDLs complicates things for non-sexual ABDLs who want to tell others. Other people may wrongly assume that ABDL is always a sexual fetish. It's understandable why some non-sexual ABDLs would feel some frustration about this. Please don't express your frustration by disparaging sexual ABDLs.

 

[SparkyDog]

Please don't express your frustration by disparaging sexual ABDLs.

I wasn't. I was saying the majority of general public sees it that way
I don't

 

[Hemix]

My parents know I wear them sometimes, a few friends know too. Initially, I'd have regretted to do it to one of those friends, but at this point, I've had so many disappointments that I don't really care.

If it got leaked, then, whatever, I just want to be happy with the things I'm able to control and genuinely love to do.

 

[Edgewater]

I have been U-IC for a very long time and after that defining car crash that changed my life, near everyone I knew was aware that I had been in hospital for 10 days. Wearing cloth diapers and plastic pants back then meant that it was fairly obvious that you were wearing. Hiding to any level worked well only in the Winter. I elected to be bluntly honest when asked and I also elected not to tell those that did not ask. When I returned to work, I met with my management group and was very honest as to my condition, abilities and my limited needs. Acceptance was high and I have lived a blessed life.

Now, to be bluntly honest, there is a vast difference between being IC than being AB/DL from an acceptance standpoint, as in the minds of the general public being IC has an understandable reason. AB/DL is beyond their understanding. The why's run the full gamut, plus the fog of confusion. My point is providing everyone knowledge of your want /need, needs to be limited and selective. Expect confusion and even rejection! The Wonderful and Unique World of ADISC is like a huge safety blanket and the Real World is a splash of ice cold reality. Understanding yourself, loving yourself is critical as the World does not understand. Those that know you are far more likely to kind of understand.

 

[BrokenMoon]

I almost told one of my closest friends, but backpedalt.
I've always wondered if she could know anything about the world of ABDL or not.

She sometimes likes to purposefully act like a way younger version of herself, acting out pirates and queens, sometimes throwing small and friendly tantrums or pouting. Sometimes she's also running around in shortals with childish animals prints and small braids. All in rather private, quiet environments - not the general public.

A few weeks ago, the topic of her cute/childish choice of clothing just came up naturally and she encouraged me to try it too.
I told her that I liked seeing how much she enjoyed it, but I'd prefer more subtle ways of enjoying some regression - but she apparently never heard that term - mind you, that's not a common word in german. After explaining in a rather broad sense, she seemed rather confused and said that she wouldn't need to slip into another age mentally to have her fun with all of that.

I just eased out of that conversation and threw telling her overboard for now.
While I do think that she would respect - maybe even support me - in being a DL, i didn't want to force that onto her since she either didn't - and maybe still doesn't - know about ABDL like I thought she was. Or maybe she just didn't want to talk with me about it.
Anyway, I don't have any plans of touching that topic again in the foreseeable future, and will be fine with zero people knowing for the time being.

Greetings
Moon

 

[BabyBluePup]

I've told people that used to be my friends about it a few years ago, on a document that was accessible to a number of folks before I was "exposed" by its community. It was one of the most devastating moments in my entire life. It makes me wish there were TBDL communities that didn't have predators as moderators/admins because of it. That would at least not make me feel like shit during my adolescent years. For a while now, I've tried so hard to act normal and not disclose my fetish to people so that I wouldn't have another incident like that ever again. Though frankly, I don't know if the inevitable would happen. Being called a "huge creep" and a "pedophile" all because I liked something that I didn't even get out of until I was 4 and a half makes me feel alone. The only people that really know about my fetish are my therapist and my mom, so I doubt that I would even tell close friends about it.

 

[Edgewater]

I've told people that used to be my friends about it a few years ago, on a document that was accessible to a number of folks before I was "exposed" by its community. It was one of the most devastating moments in my entire life. It makes me wish there were TBDL communities that didn't have predators as moderators/admins because of it. That would at least not make me feel like shit during my adolescent years. For a while now, I've tried so hard to act normal and not disclose my fetish to people so that I wouldn't have another incident like that ever again. Though frankly, I don't know if the inevitable would happen. Being called a "huge creep" and a "pedophile" all because I liked something that I didn't even get out of until I was 4 and a half makes me feel alone. The only people that really know about my fetish are my therapist and my mom, so I doubt that I would even tell close friends about it.

I can understand your reasoning for keeping your wearing a secret. Sadly, large parts of the world has not changed much in this regard. I hope that your therapist is a good one and that you are able to develop a comfort with yourself.

 

[BabyBluePup]

I can understand your reasoning for keeping your wearing a secret. Sadly, large parts of the world has not changed much in this regard. I hope that your therapist is a good one and that you are able to develop a comfort with yourself.

It may be a secret to some, but I honestly think my diaper fetish has been a part of my life since I was little. I definitely felt different before, but I didn't think people found it creepy until I was in my early teens. Even though I can just be vanilla in society, I feel like I fit in more with ABDLs because I could be more friendly to them. That's why I regret hanging out with the people I've mentioned earlier online, since they were very toxic at times and made me feel uncomfortable around them.

 

[Edgewater]

About a decade ago, I eliminated a number of friends that I had come to know that they were simply using me to support their 'Oh poor me, isms.' Life is way to short and I have been able to place more time with those that really care and are a joy to be with. Toxic people are much the same, they are just not worth your time. Like the direction you are moving!