Should i use this argument with the wife?

[PadPhilosopher]

It makes me so sad to hear this kind of thing. People so desperate to just be accepted. I will never understand why someone would have a problem with their spouse wearing diapers. I just can't imagine caring about that. It's truly sad. Tbh I can't image caring about someone having a tattoo either, as long as it's not of an X's name or on their face! Haha

Many people are cruel to those around them, sadly.

 

[Prillprillprill]

Many people are cruel to those around them, sadly.

Yep.
That I know all too well
I'm not surprised I can certainly believe it I just can't understand it. -sometimes you just gotta chalk stuff up to 'well people are ignorant'

 

[Subtlerustle]

Is being true to his promise such a great thing? He is totally being taken advantage of and quite frankly is being abused. If he was doing that to his wife he would probably be brought up on charges. He needs to establish some balance.
I’m not sure why he subjects himself to the threat of being shamed as his reason to put up with her behavior but perhaps the fact that he does put up with her is why she calls him names. I would consider removing all traces of DL interests so he can disavow it (unless there are pictures or other evidence) and then have a reset of the relationship. No reset, then threaten a separation.

This is sound advice. Remove all DL evidence including her email if you have access to it. I would hate to see anything weaponized against you. You don’t deserve that after 27 years of commitment.

 

[artemisenterri]

Wow. So relatable. I admire you for trying to stick it out and keep your promise. Most would have decided to suffer the airing of laundry in hopes of finding someone kinder afterward. The fact that you're true to her says great things about you. I hope one day she realizes what she's got.

Unfortunately, unless I conform to her world view, and kowtow to every command she gives me, she won't see me as anything of value.

 

[artemisenterri]

Is being true to his promise such a great thing? He is totally being taken advantage of and quite frankly is being abused. If he was doing that to his wife he would probably be brought up on charges. He needs to establish some balance.
I’m not sure why he subjects himself to the threat of being shamed as his reason to put up with her behavior but perhaps the fact that he does put up with her is why she calls him names. I would consider removing all traces of DL interests so he can disavow it (unless there are pictures or other evidence) and then have a reset of the relationship. No reset, then threaten a separation.

It's a case of the people she can tell my secrets to will believe what she tells them before they will believe my side of the story. The only pictures in existence (that I know of) are what I posted on my FetLife profile, which she doesn't even know exists... She is the kind of person who can spin a story so expertly that she could practically sell someone the shirt they are already wearing at that moment...

 

[Kayleigh]

It's a case of the people she can tell my secrets to will believe what she tells them before they will believe my side of the story. The only pictures in existence (that I know of) are what I posted on my FetLife profile, which she doesn't even know exists... She is the kind of person who can spin a story so expertly that she could practically sell someone the shirt they are already wearing at that moment...

I think she sold you. As long as it is only her “telling” you can just deny and claim that the outlandishment of what she accuses you of is so outrageous you have never even heard of such a thing. Then you can counter with what kind of person would even dream up something like that, unless perhaps that is something she is secretly into.

On the other hand, if you split then she will not be saying that in your presence so you will not be confronted with it in person. Then you will only hear it from someone she told and you can just say she is angry and is making things up to hurt you.

Or, if you do nothing then your choice, unfortunately, is made.

I wish you luck and hope you can figure out a way to rectify your situation.

 

[JunkyardDog1]

I typed out multiple replies to this trying to be objective. But I can't. You guys are embarrassing. Make a decision, have a conversation, deal with the outcome. Or, keep being miserable.