Should i use this argument with the wife?

[RukTheKansasDiaperLover]

I still feel this all sound very toxic…

 

[PadPhilosopher]

I still feel this all sound very toxic…

As someone who's been there in different scenarios, it is, but it also isn't. It's a difference of understanding on something, where both wish to do right, but they're unwilling to accept any different point of view.

Honestly, @PaddedinHaslet I don't see a resolution on this short of accepting that, to her, at least right now, diapers are competition. Be flattered that she wants you to want her; having been rejected sexually on a routine and continuing basis by 2 different past partners, you really have something special there. If she's making you choose between her and diapers, she's the better choice, obviously.

Perhaps at some point she'll be more understanding about your desire to wear diapers, and also, you may find that they lose their sexual interest over time, and become strictly comfort; were this the case, I think her sense of sin would relax, and she'd be more accepting.

Pray that God will bring a solution, but don't make diapers more important than your wife. For all her faults, and I do see some, it sounds like you've actually got a pretty good one, and even if she's not, you did promise her for better or for worse, after all.

 

[Deleted member 69668]

First a bit of backstory. So I have been a DL for my whole life. I’m 43 now and have been married for 20 years. I made the mistake of waiting until 10 years after being married before confessing to my wife that I liked wearing and using diapers. She freaked out and almost took the kids and left. Fast forward to 10 years later and while she still hates it, she has given me permission to wear on my alone time. The problem is that I never have alone time because work together and we have kids at home. I will have the rare day off of work where o have the house to myself, but that’s like twice a year.

And here is now my question. My wife loves tattoos and has always known that I do not. Especially on a woman. She knew this going into marriage and she did not have any at the time. Since then, she has got two tattoos against my wishes. Not behind my back, but she basically said I wan one so deal with it. She is now looking to get a 3rd tattoo and im about to lay down a deal saying “if you get a 3rd tattoo knowing that I don’t like them, then I should be free to wear my diapers whenever I want”. Of course, it would only be when appropriate. I will never wear around my kids but I would love to wear to bed sometimes without fear of a flip out. Or if the kids are out of the house for whatever reason and we are alone.

Do you guys recommend this approach? Am I being too petty with the tattoo thing or do I have a right to something I enjoy in exchange for something she enjoys?

That is a difficult situation and I don’t think going tit for tat is the move tbh. Initially my wife didn’t want me ever wearing diapers things can change. Show her respect and have amother discusion at some point. Not saying you are wrong just don’t think it’s the best way.

 

[SoggyGolfer]

@PaddedinHaslet , I have no incite on the religious part as I've lived my life as an agnostic. For the last few years of reading your postings and replies on this site I have thought our wives are very similar. I'm a bit older but did not tell my wife I liked and have been wearing diapers for the first 27 Years of our marriage. The past three years we have had many conversations about "my diaper thing" and she still wishes it never happened and doesn't want to be involved in any way.
I also value my marriage more than the diapers and if she made it a choice of diapers or divorce, I would give up the diapers. (at least make a huge effort to do so). I think you are in my same boat, and I completely understand how you feel about the tattoo. I think many have got it wrong that you see this as an "eye for an eye" situation, But you simply see this as an example of an inequity in your relationship.

After many posts on this site, I have taken a confident stance with my diaper wearing and now I wear every night to bed. I sleep year around in just a tee shirt and diaper. I change in the bathroom every night and walk openly to the bed in full view of my wife. She still completely ignores the fact I'm wearing a diaper and never mentions it all. My thinking is, I deserve to do what I want too!
I mention this because after 10 YEARS of your wife knowing and still, she doesn't even tolerate your interests seems unfair and unhealthy!

I suggest you have a conversation with her not even mentioning the tattoo and let her know you are going to start wearing a diaper to bed a couple times a week for starters. Be confident in your decision and follow through. 20 years of sneaking around is enough. If she has a problem and wants to discuss your decision, then you can bring up the inequity in her decision about the tattoo.

I wish you the best and hope your sleeping in a diaper soon!!

 

[TexasDiaperLover]

As I lay here in bed wearing my BetterDry...next to my wife, I hope you can sit down and talk this out. Her opposition carries no more weight than your desire.

Me? I couldn't be married to someone that wouldn't allow me to be me, diapers, hobbies, or otherwise.

Peace.

 

[Subtlerustle]

@SoggyGolfer nailed it. This is about the inequity of tolerance. One is expected to tolerate but the other won’t. It’s a marital issue not one of sin imo.

 

[Forced]

I’m not religious so can I ask, why are diapers considered a sin in your faith?

 

[PadPhilosopher]

I’m not religious so can I ask, why are diapers considered a sin in your faith?

I am, and it sounds like it has to do with the view that deriving intentional sexual enjoyment from any source other than your spouse is a sin, ergo, no masturbation. This was a fairly common view among Christians at one time, and one I also hold, but it is largely a matter of personal understanding, as the Scripture doesn't outright say that.

 

[JDCH]

This sounds like a plan that is certain to backfire on you. While tattoos are now socially acceptable, whether you are a fan or not, wearing diapers for recreational reasons has a long, long way to go to catch up tattoos (if ever). She still has all the leverage. If she wants to use it, it is there for her to do so.

I would try to seek out activities that give you the time and space (and cover) to partake in your activities.

 

[GoodniteQueen]

I am, and it sounds like it has to do with the view that deriving intentional sexual enjoyment from any source other than your spouse is a sin, ergo, no masturbation. This was a fairly common view among Christians at one time, and one I also hold, but it is largely a matter of personal understanding, as the Scripture doesn't outright say that.

Is this Corinthians 13 11 thing where they take Paul's words too far

 

[GoodnitesAreGoat]

Okay, so diapers are not a sin. The Bible teaches that in any grey area where you have to think to yourself "Is this a sin?" the real question you should ask yourself is "Is this beneficial to my life as a Christian?" So in the case of masturbation, it is not beneficial to your life as a Christian as it can lead to lust and is usually associated with other activities. However, diapers don't impact your life as a Christian so they can be enjoyed within reason. As for the argument I would recommend looking into the tactics in the book "Getting to Yes." I highly recommend reading the book but long story short you should separate the people from the problem. So instead of arguing over diaper vs no diaper or tattoo vs no tattoo, you should probe deeper and figure out why she doesn't like you wearing diapers and you should tell her why you don't like tattoos. This way it doesn't lead to an us vs them situation and you can come up with a compromise both of you are happy with.

 

[artemisenterri]

I agree with the "don't do it" answers you've gotten. In my experience, my wife's approach to life is not open to such arguments and I wouldn't try that on her. I like the communication advice and think I would try a wear anyway approach but not bring it up as a topic of discussion.

And to my wife's credit, she says, "It's just a different type of underwear. Get over it!"

I wish my wife had that attitude regarding diapers... My wife absolutely HATES my interests involving diapers, and has gone as far as suggesting i'm a p(you-know-what) for it...

 

[PadPhilosopher]

Is this Corinthians 13 11 thing where they take Paul's words too far

I've never heard that passage used that way, but I'm glad you know the Bible!

 

[UnderTheRadar]

I see a lot of Terrible advice here... You both made a vow and a commitment to each other. You can't quit a marriage because you don't agree on something. Doesn't your word mean anything?

 

[UnderTheRadar]

I've never heard that passage used that way, but I'm glad you know the Bible!

1 Corinthians 13:11 is talking about growing in your walk with Christ... You need to read the whole chapter when your try to understand the meaning of something

A perfect example of this is Isaiah 24:9. When used out of context it is commonly used to tell people, falsely, that it is a sin to drink alcohol... However, when read in it's entirety, Isaiah 24 is clearly a DESCRIPTION of and end times event, not a PRESCRIPTION of how you should live life.

 

[greatlake5]

I'm Catholic but the issue wouldn't even be considered. I'm IC, not ABDL. I don't understand completely about ABDL . But I understand that many of our members have strong appreciation for it. To be honest, I wouldn't suggest anything. My girlfriend has no problem about me wearing my diaper.
In fact she thinks they're cute (?). Would she still be supporting me if I just told her that I'm actually a diaper lover? Not sure (that's irrelevant). The only thing I can say is that I'm sure you regret telling her in the first place. Too bad you have such a strong DL feeling. If you do separate (or divorce), she will come back at you eventually. By the way, good LUCK.

 

[GoodnitesAreGoat]

1 Corinthians 13:11 is talking about growing in your walk with Christ... You need to read the whole chapter when your try to understand the meaning of something

A perfect example of this is Isaiah 24:9. When used out of context it is commonly used to tell people, falsely, that it is a sin to drink alcohol... However, when read in it's entirety, Isaiah 24 is clearly a DESCRIPTION of and end times event, not a PRESCRIPTION of how you should live life.

You are correct. If you read 1 Corinthians 13 there is no confusion about what is being taught. If you just read 1 Corinthians 13:11 it would not be a stretch to say AB/DL is unbiblical.

 

[puddlefeet]

I hate barring bad news, but if you have this mindset... sounds like you need to have time away and clear your minds. Not by a divorce or anything extreme, but this lifestyle will cause you two to become more chaotic in the near future. If you are staying together for the kids, well that's a bs solution, too... I wish you the best of luck.

 

[GoodniteQueen]

1 Corinthians 13:11 is talking about growing in your walk with Christ... You need to read the whole chapter when your try to understand the meaning of something

A perfect example of this is Isaiah 24:9. When used out of context it is commonly used to tell people, falsely, that it is a sin to drink alcohol... However, when read in it's entirety, Isaiah 24 is clearly a DESCRIPTION of and end times event, not a PRESCRIPTION of how you should live life.

You are correct. If you read 1 Corinthians 13 there is no confusion about what is being taught. If you just read 1 Corinthians 13:11 it would not be a stretch to say AB/DL is unbiblical.

I was referring to the fact that people use the Bible as some else put it as a proscription rather than a guide and tool

 

[Subtlerustle]

I wish my wife had that attitude regarding diapers... My wife absolutely HATES my interests involving diapers, and has gone as far as suggesting i'm a p(you-know-what) for it...

If my wife ever said that to me it would likely cause irreversible damage. I give you credit for your strength and commitment. I hope it was just said in a heat-of-the-moment context and properly apologized for.