If you could get rid of your AB/DL, would you?

Status
Not open for further replies.
Yes,YES,yes!!!!
 
No. I think if I could get rid of the psychological effects of the experiences in my life which have caused me to be ABDL - and thus also be rid of all ABDL yearnings, then my answer would be yes.

However, with everything I've been through, being an AB offers me a sense of relaxation, safety and simplicity which I need to have if I'm to cope with those recollections and experiences.

Most of the time I find being an AB is beneficial to my state of mind, and though I've gone periods of months without feeling a single babyish urge, I know that side of me is always available for when things get to be too difficult.
 
No I would not give it up.. I simply can't
 
theQman said:
If you had the chance to get rid of your AB/DL desires and in return, have plain, normal sexual desires, would you take it? You wouldn't miss this part of yourself, or even remember it. It would just never have existed. So would you do it or not and why?

I'm leaning towards yes because this has undoubtedly made my life more difficult. For as long as I can remember diapers have been my only sexual desire and my only sexual outlet. I've never really been attracted to girls or anyone for that matter and sex has never really been appealing to me, which is a serious problem because I really want to have a family some day. This is also an issue for me as diapers aren't an actual partner, so although they may be satisfying, they don't give you the sense of emotional closeness and companionship that a significant other would. So yeah, if it meant I could have a normal attraction to girls, I'd have no problem getting rid of this side of myself.
Click to expand...

I can't believe this is a thing for other DLs... Now I know I'm lucky to have created an account on this site.

For a majority of my life I hated myself to the core, solely over these desires. I was always a diaper lover, even when I had no idea what that was, as a little kid. It's kind of hard for me to put into words. I grew up, no special story here, always surrounded by friends and family, and every single day I noticed that somehow, each day, one little thing (that, sometimes, could take no longer than half a second) would trigger these feelings in my young mind and body that would haunt my thoughts for the rest of the day. Most examples of these instances take place at school or while i was being babysat, probably due to the fact that something that would be completely normal to every other kid my age-a mother taking her baby for a walk in a stroller, a whiff of the diaper changing supplies in the daycare wing of my elementary school- little, simple things that no normal kid thought twice about just stuck themselves in my head, and they stuck there like glue as I would insert myself into the place of the baby, which soon changed to becoming the caretaker as the thoughts persisted. It really, really, REALLY sucked for me. I really beat myself up over it mentally, but as I'm sure most can relate on here, I would never dare to let a soul know I was having these thoughts, so any sort of help was not an option for me. Things continued like this my entire life until the fateful day I learned about the fetish.

I've always wondered if I was alone on this, so I'm really curious to hear from anyone with a similar story, but upon discovery of the fetish, I was absolutely thrilled to know there were others out there like me, I no longer felt like I was the only person on earth with an affinity for infantilism, but at the same time, the moment I discovered AB/DL was a thing I was absolutely disgusted with myself and what I was "becoming". And when I say I was disgusted, just to be perfectly clear, if I could figure out a way stronger synonym for disgust, I would use it, because to be frank, I was a walking, talking, trainwreck at that point. Every day I woke up I felt like an absolute abomination, forever the odd one out in any group I could have ever affiliated myself with, unbeknownst to anyone but myself. It wasn't JUST bittersweet, it... it really messed me up for quite a while... Can anyone relate?

Jeez, would you just look at all that text! Well, I guess for the sake of saving the time of anyone still reading, I'm just gonna go ahead and say that this is all in the past now, and I have since come to realize that there's just so much more to each person than we can ever truly know about them. I'm content in having my own secret dl life.

-Dada
 
I have a different twist on this question, for those who have or have not answered. I wonder if you would give up on this if it were seen as acceptable by the public. In other words, if you lived in a world where nightclubs had "diaper nights," and a young couple using the family washroom WITHOUT a child in tow was normal, would it be different for you? If you could work in a diaper on a hot day without a single comment from anybody, would you worry about getting rid of this?

I guess my question is, how much of your "wanting to get rid of this" is based on social unacceptability? Personally, if I could walk to work in a diaper, waving at a few friends along the way, chuckle with the cute barista about needing a change soon as I buy a coffee, I think it would be easier to live with this.

Lets compare ABDL with musical talent for a second. As a life long musician, I have spent hours and hours and hours plucking strings, hitting objects, and trying to extract "good" sounds from a pile of different metal, wood, and electronic objects. If you were coming from a different planet, I'm pretty sure both ABDL's and musicians would seem odd, seemingly "forced" into repeating certain behaviours, claiming to enjoy it immensely.

Musical performance shares a lot with ABDL: though I may spend 20 years practicing death metal, I may find that very few people have a taste for my efforts. In the same way, leaving a "special surprise in my pants" for my girlfriend may not be met with much appreciation for my efforts :smile1: For those of you lucky enough to have girlfriend who WOULD be pleased with this, congratulations, you have found a rare pokemon indeed, better get out the pokeball!

Joking aside though, what do you think about this? If being ABDL was seen by the world as the same as being a devoted death metal guitarist, would we even worry about it? If you would or would not get rid of this, how much of your decision is based on the social perceptions of what we do? For bonus points, link your answer to the exhibitionist leanings of some of our members... do you think the desire to "go public" (which is of course is not what we ALL want to do) is related to social challenges?

Ungulate

"Be the change that you wish mommy would do to you"
 
Superdaddy said:
I've always wondered if I was alone on this, so I'm really curious to hear from anyone with a similar story [...] Every day I woke up I felt like an absolute abomination, forever the odd one out in any group I could have ever affiliated myself with, unbeknownst to anyone but myself. It wasn't JUST bittersweet, it... it really messed me up for quite a while... Can anyone relate?
Click to expand...

I couldn't have said it better. I can totally relate with you. I come from a pretty strong conservative religious background where anything non-vanilla was *bad*. Not only did I hate myself for my desires, I felt sinful and distanced from my God. This has been part of me for more than 30 years, and I still struggle with these feelings sometimes.

Back to the original question of the thread, my answer is absolutely yes. Let me also say that I strongly admire those of you who have been able to accept who you are and love yourself for who you are and don't feel any desire to change. I hope to get there someday, but I am *not* there. "There" seems so far away that I don't know I'll ever make it. But I hope that participating here, in this community, may--over time--help me make progress in that regard.
 
Ungulate said:
I have a different twist on this question, for those who have or have not answered. I wonder if you would give up on this if it were seen as acceptable by the public. In other words, if you lived in a world where nightclubs had "diaper nights," and a young couple using the family washroom WITHOUT a child in tow was normal, would it be different for you? If you could work in a diaper on a hot day without a single comment from anybody, would you worry about getting rid of this?

I guess my question is, how much of your "wanting to get rid of this" is based on social unacceptability? Personally, if I could walk to work in a diaper, waving at a few friends along the way, chuckle with the cute barista about needing a change soon as I buy a coffee, I think it would be easier to live with this.

Lets compare ABDL with musical talent for a second. As a life long musician, I have spent hours and hours and hours plucking strings, hitting objects, and trying to extract "good" sounds from a pile of different metal, wood, and electronic objects. If you were coming from a different planet, I'm pretty sure both ABDL's and musicians would seem odd, seemingly "forced" into repeating certain behaviours, claiming to enjoy it immensely.

Musical performance shares a lot with ABDL: though I may spend 20 years practicing death metal, I may find that very few people have a taste for my efforts. In the same way, leaving a "special surprise in my pants" for my girlfriend may not be met with much appreciation for my efforts :smile1: For those of you lucky enough to have girlfriend who WOULD be pleased with this, congratulations, you have found a rare pokemon indeed, better get out the pokeball!

Joking aside though, what do you think about this? If being ABDL was seen by the world as the same as being a devoted death metal guitarist, would we even worry about it? If you would or would not get rid of this, how much of your decision is based on the social perceptions of what we do? For bonus points, link your answer to the exhibitionist leanings of some of our members... do you think the desire to "go public" (which is of course is not what we ALL want to do) is related to social challenges?

Ungulate

"Be the change that you wish mommy would do to you"
Click to expand...

If it resulted in any change for me, I suspect it might be to reduce the desire. I don't note that I have any significant exhibition urge but the idea that it is taboo is significant to me. I would probably just be a bit more open with it, although I think I'd still regard it as a private thing. If it suddenly became fashionable, I'd be the first hipster in line to bitterly decry the change.
 
Vic92 said:
Ditto.
Click to expand...

I'm all abroad the Yes Train. I want magical cure now. I also have a disability I would get rid of that has only hindered me and causes physical discomfort. Curing is not controversial in this case.

It's such a inconvenient part of my sexuality. After a while, I stop enjoying and I'm in a used diaper I have to take care of. What since does that make? Even if it was 100% of my sexuality, it would annoy me. I know I can't just get rid of it though so I'll be continuing using diapers and trying out new DL experiences.
 
Ungulate said:
I have a different twist on this question, for those who have or have not answered. I wonder if you would give up on this if it were seen as acceptable by the public. In other words, if you lived in a world where nightclubs had "diaper nights," and a young couple using the family washroom WITHOUT a child in tow was normal, would it be different for you? If you could work in a diaper on a hot day without a single comment from anybody, would you worry about getting rid of this?
Click to expand...

Nope, It wouldn't change it a bit for me (Well, It might change the frequency that I wear, but i'll touch on that later) as for me it's just something I have always liked the idea of. I don't get the "thrill of being caught" (For me the idea of being caught is just plain terrifying), nor do I like it because it makes me different. If it was seen as normal I would enjoy it just the same as I do now

The only difference I could see it makeing is that I would probably wear a bit less, not because I would enjoy it any less, but because at the moment I will take any opportunity to wear that I get, But if it was seen as more normal I wouldn't feel the need to take every opportunity (So I would wear purely when it was convenient for me)

And to answer the original question in this thread, No, I wouldn't change it. But I guess i'm fairly lucky in being comfortable with myself being a DL (It's just the fear of what other people might think now......)
 
Before tonight, I would have answered that question differently, but I just realized today that I was a victim of mental and physical child abuse as a kid, by my own mother. I might not even be an adult baby right now, fuck, I'm not even sure what to think of anything.
 
No I wouldn't because that's the part of me that feels so right and the real me
 
I am who I am, being a ABDL is a huge part of who I am..

What would I do without my diapers :D
 
babymt said:
That's a big realization. What made you realize that?
Click to expand...

It's too much to type out here right now, as things have taken a complete dark turn for me since I posted that comment. Don't worry, I'm a strong person and I am surrounded by loving people, but I'm going through some mental illness I just found out, called: (AvPD) or Avoidant Personality Disorder and while I haven't done anything suicidal, the revelation that I received last night during a three hour conversation with my aunt (older that my mom), finding out, after all of these years that I was raised by a drug addict for a mother, with no father in the picture. Thinking my mom had drug issues and was strict on our childhood was one thing, but to hear the words "You were raised by a drug addict" and having to repeat them, to make that set in!? It's the cause of everything that has happen to me, health, education, mental issues, AB/DL because I guess after all of these years, I've been looking for her replacement and now, I'm knocking on the door of suicide.
 
Ebonybaby said:
It's too much to type out here right now, as things have taken a complete dark turn for me since I posted that comment. Don't worry, I'm a strong person and I am surrounded by loving people, but I'm going through some mental illness I just found out, called: (AvPD) or Avoidant Personality Disorder and while I haven't done anything suicidal, the revelation that I received last night during a three hour conversation with my aunt (older that my mom), finding out, after all of these years that I was raised by a drug addict for a mother, with no father in the picture. Thinking my mom had drug issues and was strict on our childhood was one thing, but to hear the words "You were raised by a drug addict" and having to repeat them, to make that set in!? It's the cause of everything that has happen to me, health, education, mental issues, AB/DL because I guess after all of these years, I've been looking for her replacement and now, I'm knocking on the door of suicide.
Click to expand...

I suspect you realize this but you're literally no different now than you were before learning this. Focus on the first part of your post (being strong, having loving people in your life). The information from the past may be ultimately helpful to you but you made your life without it doing you conscious harm. Keep at it!
 
To be honest no I would never give up my tendencies. I have only recently discovered them maybe not even a week and a half ago. I am an ABDL/carer and I have been a lot more happy since I found out. It feels good to come to terms with who you are and I personally think its loads of fun to be an ABDL!
 
In a heartbeat. I don't like keeping secrets.
 
Ebonybaby said:
It's too much to type out here right now, as things have taken a complete dark turn for me since I posted that comment. Don't worry, I'm a strong person and I am surrounded by loving people, but I'm going through some mental illness I just found out, called: (AvPD) or Avoidant Personality Disorder and while I haven't done anything suicidal, the revelation that I received last night during a three hour conversation with my aunt (older that my mom), finding out, after all of these years that I was raised by a drug addict for a mother, with no father in the picture. Thinking my mom had drug issues and was strict on our childhood was one thing, but to hear the words "You were raised by a drug addict" and having to repeat them, to make that set in!? It's the cause of everything that has happen to me, health, education, mental issues, AB/DL because I guess after all of these years, I've been looking for her replacement and now, I'm knocking on the door of suicide.
Click to expand...
If it means anything, I can relate. I'm the son of two major crack addicts, one of which is also a serious alcoholic. I've known about this pretty much my entire life so I'm not really phased by it. It's just always been my reality and I've never known anything else. Luckily for me they've been in recovery for a majority of the time since I've been born but my dad was smoking weed heavily throughout most of my childhood and he relapsed on the heavy stuff more than a few times. The he relapsed were simply horrifying and involved him stealing money from me, hitting my grandmother, and attempting to break down the front door when he was kicked out. When my mom started drinking again when I was 10, it essentially destroyed her life. We got kicked out of our house, and she started getting black out drunk every night to the point I'd have to fend for myself every night after 5pm. Eventually she lost custody of me. I thank God that that they were never abusive. My parents have actually been wonderful to me all my life despite their horrible life choices. I understand that it can be a huge burden to carry and that it's just something you don't want to believe is true from your own mother. I know that as well, and perhaps more than anyone. However, in the end, those were her life choices and they don't have to reflect on you, who you are, or what kind of person you want to be. Her mistakes aren't your mistakes, and you certainly don't have to let her burdens pass onto you. So, this is just a very long winded way of saying, I get it.

If you wanna talk feel free to message me.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top