Help adult nappies at 39

[pjdjs]

I was a few years younger than you when I started having problems. For me it was quite gradual. Im also in pullups during the day and nappys at night. I think most incontinent members on this site can relate to the fear and stress you are going through and can give you better advice than I can but I can tell you that you do get used to it and after a while you stop worrying so much about other people finding out.
I assume you have seen a doctor, if not do it ASAP it may be something that can be fixed.
You will find it doesn't mean you can't stop doing what you want. For example I still go hunting and will spend 3 or 4 weeks at a time trapping possums miles from anyone, it's just a matter of preparations ( incontinence supplies aren't heavy but take up a lot of room) .
Good luck with the future and I hope you get on top of things quickly

Hi are you in Northern Ireland

 

[BlameBaby]

39 and wearing nappies all the time, really hard to accept and hard to cope when out and about, anyone out there In the same position

I wear pull ups during the day and maxi nappies at night

My partner is so good with it all but I would really like to hear from someone in Northern Ireland that also has to wear nappies

Think I’m too young to be wearing nappies all the time


Main issue is when I’m out and about like notes out and trying to change and keep
Spare nappies with me

I'm 33 your not too young inccontinent or problems down there can start at any age

 

[Cammer]

I’m 23 and wear 24/7 as well for IC, you are not alone

 

[BabySpiderman]

hey, just want you to know you're not alone. i am about ten years younger and should be wearing diapers every night (sometimes i skip it and dehydrate myself or don't get any sleep from peeing so much). i guess i don't need diapers all day long yet, but i have worn both pullups and taped diapers to work at times. let's see... you could take off pull-ups easily while keeping pants on by ripping them at the side seams, but pulling a new pair on without taking off the pants is impossible. for out of the house wearing, the tape variety are honestly so much easier as others have said. maybe you might be able to find some thinner-profile taped diapers for daytime. I like the tykables daily little builders diapers, and i have had some success with northshore's supreme lite. if you strongly prefer pull-ups, the northshore gosupreme pullups are the only pullups i'd ever want to buy again since they have actual capacity to hold a full wetting, and they come with a little sticky tab to discreetly roll up for disposal--for sure recommend them over others. (i am sure you can tell by my use of the word 'diapers' that i'm not from the uk, but i hope my experience can still help).

larger pants and long shirts are great to use to cover up any bulk. i sized up all my clothes. i have used the gary wear diaper covers before, they are helpful but i don't always find them too comfortable (by necessity, the leg holes are very tight on them).

i am often too embarrassed to change in public settings, but i have done at work and been okay. the bathroom is just right next to the break room and you can hear everything. i mainly use my car as a "safe place" to change, like in the back seat with an absorbent pad under me.

i guess it would not be very socially acceptable for me to carry an actual purse, even though i'm non-binary i look fully male. so anyway, i'll typically bring a bag that looks like a laptop bag with a shoulder strap and can convert into a backpack. they look professional enough for work and could be toned down for casual use. they are large enough to carry up to 4 high capacity diapers, baby powder, and wipes. plus i attach a little hand sanitizer keychain thing to the strap, which i think is helpful to think about. you might like to carry something like this, but also some of the big purses i see women carry i guess could hold two diapers easily. i think it's good to have this as a separate bag to your main bag, or to stash the diapers in the 'laptop' part which is somewhat closed. just in case someone sees inside.

lastly, i would recommend you to check out the diaper dynamo's videos on youtube or tiktok, he has many daily use tips and his videos are just aimed at destigmatizing diaper wearing for younger adults and anyone that needs or wants them. he also has some kind of diaper cover shorts that i can't remember the name of, they looked comfortable and you might want to check those out.

 

[BabySpiderman]

Try a male pee pad (guard) with your pull up. I take 3 with me to work and just pull it out and then slip in a fresh one. Try the Vivactive classic level 2 secure guard. Don't use the sticky peel off part.
All the best.

northshore makes booster pads that are designed to go with their pull-ups, which just about doubles the capacity. similar idea but maybe more effective?

 

[NotTheAverageMan]

I've been urinary incontinent since my early 20s found it extremely hard at first, but people don't care and are fairly supportive. You soon find a routine to cope with it I take a string bag out with me most places and leave one hidden in the car for emergencies. I also have a routine where if I'm out and about I will try and force my self to go to the toilet at intermittent periods and while not much comes out it goes some way to avoiding overloading my pad which avoids the need to change (most of the time I've no feeling in my bladder so can't guarantee what it does) while out and about. While I'm working it's harder but I can generally change at intermittent periods. Overall it has a huge impact on your life at first but it does get easier as you learn to live with it and at some points you find it to be an advantage (when your on a plane, at the cinema on long car journeys the list goes on). Choosing an appropriate sized pad for the job also goes a long way the tena plus and super I get on the NHS work but there not the best if I'm going on a long journey I tend to choose something with a larger capacity to alleviate the need to change sometimes this has resulted in me looking at the abdl brands as they tend to offer stupidly high capacity which is great but they can a. Look hideous and b. Cost an absolute fortune which for someone who is reliant on them is a big no might as well burn money

That’s how I manage when at work, and in general when out, and I have access to toilet. I go to the toilet at fixed intervals, and it helps a lot, it also means I don’t have to rely on overly thick protection.

 

[nappywearingicman]

It will take time you may want to use higher absorbency to help prevent leaks. I use tena slips ultima 24/7 at and around city at friends house and so far no one has noticed I've been wearing for 6 years but now if anyone did notice I don't care because I need them and its better than wee everywhere but it has taken long time to get to that stage but it will come. Hope you get to that stage soon because your quality of life will get better.

 

[Constantlydamp]

It will take time you may want to use higher absorbency to help prevent leaks. I use tena slips ultima 24/7 at and around city at friends house and so far no one has noticed I've been wearing for 6 years but now if anyone did notice I don't care because I need them and its better than wee everywhere but it has taken long time to get to that stage but it will come. Hope you get to that stage soon because your quality of life will get better.

Can I ask if you get the Tena slip ultima from the NHS or do you buy privately ?

 

[nappywearingicman]

Can I ask if you get the Tena slip ultima from the NHS or do you buy privately ?

I buy them privately

 

[Constantlydamp]

I buy them privately

I was hoping you got them from the NHS. They supply me with Tena Maxi but I get quite a few leaks at night.

 

[Pongoandperdi15]

My local NHS trust has now decided to change to ID slip something which I'm not happy about so it's one of those things you get what you get, I'm pushing for the higher capacity stuff now because ID in recent years well I may as well wear about 5 pairs of boxer shorts stuffed with cotton wool and some plastic pants would probably get better protection

 

[Unorthodoxengineer]

It took a long time to realise it, but people just don't 'see' nappies! Even bulky ones. People see what they expect to see.
I told someone I've been working with for over ten years - and she was genuinely surprised! I'd worn Tena Ultima nappies to work every day.
I only told her because she admitted to having become a bit 'leaky' and thought it might help her confidence, if & when she needed to wear them during the day.
Since then, she says she can see them - but only because she's specifically looking!
Try it yourself - look out (discretely) in public - and it won't be long before you spot a telltale sign. Just as you've never noticed before, nobody else will notice you.

 

[Tenaman]

Hi pjdjs
It sounds to me like you need more absorbent protection. I have had IC problems following a spinal injury 35 years ago and have always used the Tena Slip all in one adult nappies. I was first assessed by my local continence nurse and am supplied free of charge on the NHS. I have an annual assessment of my needs. Over the years the NHS has tried to supply other brands but when I have told them they are not up to the job they have continued to supply the Tena Slip on special order. I currently wear the Tena Slip Active Fit Maxi all in one adult nappies 24/7. At night I also wear Terry lined waterproof pants from Drylife as I am a heavy wetter.
I have had anyone say they have noticed or asked if I am wearing a nappy. I think we are more self conscious and think people notice but they don’t. I just want to be confident in my protection and know that my nappies will cope with my IC. I change on average 4 times a day.

 

[PaddedRita]

SO Don't feel left out ! And yes many of us Females & Males that has to wear them !!
Plus it did take me long time for me to get a custom to wearing along with that I have never had any buddy say anything about me wearing as I know of !!!

 

[Wetshisbed]

I was hoping you got them from the NHS. They supply me with Tena Maxi but I get quite a few leaks at night.

Do you wear plastic pants over your nappies I always do

 

[Wetshisbed]

It took a long time to realise it, but people just don't 'see' nappies! Even bulky ones. People see what they expect to see.
I told someone I've been working with for over ten years - and she was genuinely surprised! I'd worn Tena Ultima nappies to work every day.
I only told her because she admitted to having become a bit 'leaky' and thought it might help her confidence, if & when she needed to wear them during the day.
Since then, she says she can see them - but only because she's specifically looking!
Try it yourself - look out (discretely) in public - and it won't be long before you spot a telltale sign. Just as you've never noticed before, nobody else will notice you.

No one notices if you wear nappies.

 

[iatec779]

I’m 43 and recently resorted to wearing protection. Other young adults are in the same boat. The more I read around on here and other sites I realize it’s not that uncommon and we’re not alone.

 

[Constantlydamp]

I always wear Mylesta pants over my nappies in case of leaks both day and night. The NHS are trying to find a nappy that doesn't leak as the Tena Maxi Proskin slip has a habit of leaking around my legs.

Do you wear plastic pants over your nappies I always do

 

[Saint]

Wear a onesie, not an “adult baby” one but a plain polo shirt type. This avoids visible waistlines. The bulk isn’t noticeable unless you wear joggers or skinny jeans, light colours are worse. The noise, no one will hear.

 

[IncognitoAura]

39 and wearing nappies all the time, really hard to accept and hard to cope when out and about, anyone out there In the same position

I wear pull ups during the day and maxi nappies at night

My partner is so good with it all but I would really like to hear from someone in Northern Ireland that also has to wear nappies

Think I’m too young to be wearing nappies all the time


Main issue is when I’m out and about like notes out and trying to change and keep
Spare nappies with me

Sorry I’m not in NI but I’m in the UK I’m 19 and have had to wear nappies / catheterise since my 18th. Having spares is a pain in the ass, one thing I do which may be of use is I wear super baggy trousers (usually stone island or off white joggers as they are oversized for Fasion so it doesn’t raise any questions I can send you the link if you would like) and I double diaper (not for the sake of extra absorption) but so that when I need to change I can take the inner one off and just use the one that is dry on the outside) not sure if this is helpful for you as I’ve never tried it with pull ups but ye in case there ya go

Best
Incognitoaura