Help adult nappies at 39

[pjdjs]

39 and wearing nappies all the time, really hard to accept and hard to cope when out and about, anyone out there In the same position

I wear pull ups during the day and maxi nappies at night

My partner is so good with it all but I would really like to hear from someone in Northern Ireland that also has to wear nappies

Think I’m too young to be wearing nappies all the time


Main issue is when I’m out and about like notes out and trying to change and keep
Spare nappies with me

 

[Troy]

I was a few years younger than you when I started having problems. For me it was quite gradual. Im also in pullups during the day and nappys at night. I think most incontinent members on this site can relate to the fear and stress you are going through and can give you better advice than I can but I can tell you that you do get used to it and after a while you stop worrying so much about other people finding out.
I assume you have seen a doctor, if not do it ASAP it may be something that can be fixed.
You will find it doesn't mean you can't stop doing what you want. For example I still go hunting and will spend 3 or 4 weeks at a time trapping possums miles from anyone, it's just a matter of preparations ( incontinence supplies aren't heavy but take up a lot of room) .
Good luck with the future and I hope you get on top of things quickly

 

[pjdjs]

Thanks so much for the reply, it’s more the fact that I worry all the time about people finding out I wear nappies, I have had operations but didn’t work so now
I have nappies all the time I still work
Full time
But it really is hard sometimes

When I go out for a few drinksit’s awful because I always end up
Leaving early because my nappy is full or leaks, really annoying

My partner is so understanding and it really doesn’t bother her, it’s me that finds it hard to cope with it

 

[subietodd]

If your diaper only stands up to a few drinks......you need to shop around some friend.

 

[pjdjs]

I get mine on nhs, I have better ones for night time but they are too bulky for day time

 

[slimjiminy]

Thanks so much for the reply, it’s more the fact that I worry all the time about people finding out I wear nappies, I have had operations but didn’t work so now
I have nappies all the time I still work Full time But it really is hard sometimes

I think about being "discovered" a lot. I also know that this is inevitable at some point (only immediate family currently knows). However, I keep thinking about how I will respond when it happens. That will vary with the audience and venue. But I suspect that most will not say much and move on, and even forget about it.

 

[pjdjs]

I think you are right, no one knows only
My partner but it’s becoming harder to hide, pull ups I have for during the day leak and I am eventually going to get caught out, really think I need to tell people it’s just so hard to do

My partner said tell all my friends and family at least that way I can stop worrying about going places but I just don’t know

 

[Bombyx]

Loads of people around 39 wear protective underwear. Personally, I don’t tell anyone I don’t have to (except on this website), but you can’t keep it from letting you live your life.

 

[Napincolove]

When you start 'having' to wear a Nappy it is bound to be very difficult and naturally you will be thinking everyone can see I am wearing a Nappy-NOT SO ! most people will in fact have no idea and they will not care either as it is none of their business.

As time progresses and you adapt to your situation you will find more absorbant products that you can live with and you will get much better at hiding even bulky Nappies.
My suggestion is to approach a supplier and get a whole pile of test samples to try out, also before testing them get yourself some Net or fixation pants used for holding pads in place as these will smooth out the lines of the Nappy that can sometimes be visible and they will keep it figure hugging and less bulky, do also get some PUL or plastic pants to wear over the Nappy and stretch pants as this will add to your protection and gives you warning of an impending leak !

You have by far got the very best partner and by them being so supportive that will lessen your stress about wearing, I cannot emphasise just how important having a supportive partner is.

Try not to worry about having to wear a Nappy, you really will get to the point where you can honestly say "it is just my underwear" and think no more of it.
I used to worry and at around 40 my ic came to the fore and after a while of worrying you will soon see for yourself that no one actually gives a fig what your underwear is if they even think you are wearing, you will soon get to be an expert on absorbant attire.

Good luck with your future as you really do have a good future even if padded up, after all it is only underwear !

 

[Finny]

39 and wearing nappies all the time, really hard to accept and hard to cope when out and about, anyone out there In the same position

I wear pull ups during the day and maxi nappies at night

My partner is so good with it all but I would really like to hear from someone in Northern Ireland that also has to wear nappies

Think I’m too young to be wearing nappies all the time


Main issue is when I’m out and about like notes out and trying to change and keep
Spare nappies with me

I am 25 and wear 24/7 due to IC

 

[Rob110]

Unfortunately Incontinence has no age restrictions and can hit at any age as its caused by underlying issues, it is tough when you first need to start wearing 24/7 but it does get easier over time.
Have you seen a urologist to get checked out if not you should make an appointment, when my ic issue started pullups worked for a short while but I quickly migrated to full tapped diapers and Im not closing in on 8 years of 24/7 being diapered.
You may want to try taped diapers as they will give you more protection and are easier to change when out and about, diapers like incontrol hybrid diapers have reusable tapes so you can reuse a dry diaper when you make it to the washroom in time. Not having to take your pants off to change when out and about really makes a difference in managing IC issues over pullups and you will leak less often since you will get a snugger fit.

 

[Dinotopian2002]

Hi Pjdjs, unfortunately incontinence has no age limits - it can affect anyone, for a variety of reasons.
I'm younger than you are and I've been in diapers 24/7 my whole adult life for medical issues.

The good news is, with the right kind of diaper, incontinence doesn't hold you back - there's a range out there which is worth exploring.

Firstly though, it's worth seeing your GP - to see if the incontinence is being caused by another medical issue. I know it's embarrassing, but this is a medical problem and you need to treat it as such.

I'd also recommend you buy some trousers and jeans a bigger size up so you can wear your thicker nappies outside when you need more protection.

And if you're worried of anyone seeing your diaper waistband, you can wear onesies, which can hide your diapers and keep your padding in place. They come in very handy when you need to wear at work too.

As for carrying a diaper bag, these days, I carry mine in a laptop bag - and no-one bats an eyelid. Just act relaxed and no-one will notice.

I'm not from Northern Ireland myself, but I've been there many times and I do love the wee country.

I also found this website for an incontinence shop based in the Republic in Swords, but they ship to the North. It's worth checking it out, as it may be cheaper than shipping from mainland Britain. They have a good range of diapers of all sizes and you may find something there which can help you manage it better.

NappyShop – Modern Incontinence Store for Adults & Children

www.nappyshop.ie

As for telling people, at this stage keep it quiet, but I'd confide it in people you trust.

Hope this helps you manage it better

Breathe Deep, Seek Peace
Dinotopian2002

 

[ltaluv]

Thanks so much for the reply, it’s more the fact that I worry all the time about people finding out I wear nappies, I have had operations but didn’t work so now
I have nappies all the time I still work
Full time
But it really is hard sometimes

You mentioned in another thread that you'd had botox injections. That's something that's helped ne a lot, but my own experience is that not all doctors are the same, nor are all doses equally effective.

I started with 100 units of botox, and it helped some with my bladder pain but didn't give me full continence. I got real relief when my urologist moved up to 200 units. Some people get 300 units, and I've seen at least one study that indicated that 300 units is far more effective than 100.

When my old urologist retired I switched to another one, and he did one round of botox with the same 200 unit dose I'd been using. What was interesting was that I never got the same benefit from that set of injections that I'd been getting with the old doctor. Injections with the old doctor gave me several months of full continence, but I never achieved full continence after the injections with the second doctor.

I ended up switching to another doctor after that, and I'm back to getting several months of continence out of the injections. They're also far less painful with this new guy than they were with my original doctor - for whatever reason he better at operating the cystoscope.

If you didn't have a response to botox, you might consider trying another doctor and talking with him about a higher dose before you completely discount botox.

 

[SAPexpanded]

I get mine on nhs, I have better ones for night time but they are too bulky for day time

Try a male pee pad (guard) with your pull up. I take 3 with me to work and just pull it out and then slip in a fresh one. Try the Vivactive classic level 2 secure guard. Don't use the sticky peel off part.
All the best.

 

[SAPexpanded]

Following on from the previous post I use the Tena Slip Active Fit Plus as my daily diaper but with the man pee pads as my back up. TENA AF plus is very thin and discrete.

 

[Pongoandperdi15]

I've been urinary incontinent since my early 20s found it extremely hard at first, but people don't care and are fairly supportive. You soon find a routine to cope with it I take a string bag out with me most places and leave one hidden in the car for emergencies. I also have a routine where if I'm out and about I will try and force my self to go to the toilet at intermittent periods and while not much comes out it goes some way to avoiding overloading my pad which avoids the need to change (most of the time I've no feeling in my bladder so can't guarantee what it does) while out and about. While I'm working it's harder but I can generally change at intermittent periods. Overall it has a huge impact on your life at first but it does get easier as you learn to live with it and at some points you find it to be an advantage (when your on a plane, at the cinema on long car journeys the list goes on). Choosing an appropriate sized pad for the job also goes a long way the tena plus and super I get on the NHS work but there not the best if I'm going on a long journey I tend to choose something with a larger capacity to alleviate the need to change sometimes this has resulted in me looking at the abdl brands as they tend to offer stupidly high capacity which is great but they can a. Look hideous and b. Cost an absolute fortune which for someone who is reliant on them is a big no might as well burn money

 

[pjdjs]

Thanks for all the reply’s, just need to start to deal with it and accept that that’s the way things are

Your rite wearing a nappy sometimes has its advantages but the fear of people knowing will always hild
Me back

My partner is really good with it and always reassures me, just wish I could accept it too

 

[pjdjs]

When you start 'having' to wear a Nappy it is bound to be very difficult and naturally you will be thinking everyone can see I am wearing a Nappy-NOT SO ! most people will in fact have no idea and they will not care either as it is none of their business.

As time progresses and you adapt to your situation you will find more absorbant products that you can live with and you will get much better at hiding even bulky Nappies.
My suggestion is to approach a supplier and get a whole pile of test samples to try out, also before testing them get yourself some Net or fixation pants used for holding pads in place as these will smooth out the lines of the Nappy that can sometimes be visible and they will keep it figure hugging and less bulky, do also get some PUL or plastic pants to wear over the Nappy and stretch pants as this will add to your protection and gives you warning of an impending leak !

You have by far got the very best partner and by them being so supportive that will lessen your stress about wearing, I cannot emphasise just how important having a supportive partner is.

Try not to worry about having to wear a Nappy, you really will get to the point where you can honestly say "it is just my underwear" and think no more of it.
I used to worry and at around 40 my ic came to the fore and after a while of worrying you will soon see for yourself that no one actually gives a fig what your underwear is if they even think you are wearing, you will soon get to be an expert on absorbant attire.

Good luck with your future as you really do have a good future even if padded up, after all it is only underwear !

Yeah it’s only a nappy but I still hate the fact that I have to wear one, really has changed my life

Always worrying about people finding out, it’s been my biggest secret for years and eats up so much of my time

I went to a wedding a few weeks ago and after a few drinks I wet through my nappy, worst feeling ever

 

[puravidadip]

Yeah it’s only a nappy but I still hate the fact that I have to wear one, really has changed my life

Always worrying about people finding out, it’s been my biggest secret for years and eats up so much of my time

I went to a wedding a few weeks ago and after a few drinks I wet through my nappy, worst feeling ever

Hey I’d highly recommend you do 4 things:
1 - buy larger pants to hide the bulk; I had to buy 2 sizes up
2 - pull-ups just aren’t as effective, suggest you find a quality diaper like the incontrol elite hybrid or megamax if going to be out for a while or really any time
3 - buy some sort of diaper cover that will prevent leaks, keep in the smell, and also act as underwear and hide the diaper Gary PUL or Northshore trifecta work for me
4 - get some sort of bag to carry a spare diaper, and hopefully enough room for a used diaper so you can change in a stall, at a wedding and discreetly dispose of later or at the trash can, use like a Heaven Scent bag to make it more discreet