Disposable or cloth?

[newAB43]

Hi.

Saying hello from another Brit and who likes reading your posts and profile.

Like you I like towelling nappies best for night time. More comfortable and absorbant as well as more environmentally friendly. Over the years Ive used carefully folded appropriately sized white towels with a slightly larger than normal baby Terry square folded in 3 lengthways as a soaker (Boots used to sell what they classed as overnight ferries which were thicker and about 3 inch bigger so end up with a 27 x 9 soaker. All pinned on and covered with plastic pants of course. I later (from about 2015) discovered Snuggleblanks shaped Velcro fastening nappies which I ordered custom made to my size and I love them. Struggling now in UK to get good, roomy, reliable plastic or PUL pants though now. Arizona who I used to buy from no longer trade. Some of the incontinence on line shops have some but they aren’t really wide enough in crotch to give the right balance between roomy fit and effective coverage of the whole nappy without leaving exposed nappy at legs. Ideally you should be free enough to wriggle and move without putting strain on the plastic at the legs but without being so roomy that the pants don’t support a wet and heavy nappy. Wondering if you have any advice ?

By the way I am a 60 year old man, a late developer and bedwetter as a child - in nappies at night until mid teens but who, through my experience of wearing a lot when young, always had a strong desire for nappies and plastic pants. As a young adult I occasionally and secretly wore both Terry nappies and disposables when I could and found it quite a turn on and very relaxing from a stress point of view. Yet I constantly felt weird, guilty and very alone as back in 80’s and early 90’s I was finding my way in the world of work and relationships in a very male dominated career as a seafarer where men needed to be macho and quite tough.

Later, in my 40’s I developed a serious back problem and incontinence came with that. I began wetting every night and having urge / OAB issues in the day. Surgery successfully cured my physical pain and mobility issue with my spine but I’ve been left with bladder issues. As I was used to nappies, facing up to a need to be back in them wasn’t a problem and for last 20 years I’ve always worn a nappy to bed. Over the last four years in my second marriage I’ve been blessed to be with someone who understands and totally accepts my need to wear and who makes me feel more at ease with this side of me - my first wife could not handle it and ridiculed me and it was a factor that led to breakup.

Over recent years I’ve worn mainly towelling nappies to bed and have increasingly worn pull-ups or quite often a Tenaslip active fit nappy when out and about and in situations where I know I may get caught short . I’ve tried various brands of disposables but find Active Fit maxi or Ultima to be really good - effective / discreet and reliable. When away from home I use an Ultima plus a booster liner topped off with plastic pants at night.

I am definitely a diaper lover and never saw myself as AB but in last few years I’ve been through very stressful times in my personal and work life, and more and more I’ve found that wearing nappies has helped me relax. My wife doesn’t baby me, but does totally accept me lying next to her in nothing but my nappies and plastic pants, she cuddled me and playfully teases me by slipping a finger inside to play with me whether wet or dry. She always checks to nake sure I’m properly ready for bed and she says she’d grateful that because I’m nappied at night that she doesn’t get disturbed sleep from me getting up in the night. I love her for that. Right now I’ve woken up wet but needing a wee again and she’s still asleep so I feel so relaxed about it that I can just lay here and enjoy deliberately letting go in my nappy knowing that’ I’m not disturbing her.

This week we are heading off on a long drive for our holidays towing our caravan from north east to corneall. She knows that the combination of the lack of feeling / bladder awareness / urge issues I have make long distance drives uncomfortable for me as after about an hour I will go from not feeling an urge to got to suddenly being desperate and struggling to hold on. I’ve had a few accidents in my pants when out and about before - in our early days of going out I wet my pants stuck on the tube and have had very desperate sit in traffic jams or in a queue waiting to get into football, so much so that she now reads the situation and suggests I wear a pull up or a nappy. I love her for being so caring and accepting. She’s told ne this week for our long drive that she thinks I should just accept wearing a nappy all day as it means I’m more relaxed about the drive and safer especially if stuck in traffic. The beauty of caravanning is I can take supplies for the holiday easily and we have our own private space to get changed en route if needed.

All in all I’m now more relaxed at 60 about being in nappies than at any time of my life. I do sometimes dream about being in a relationship where my other half goes to that next step of changing me, babying me or being a little bit domineering to the point where I am forced to be in nappies / spanked for being naughty and having accidents etc but deep down we are both quite vanilla and I fear that to even say what I really want wouid be a step too far. I’m blessed to have a really loving wife who does accept ne as I am and I do love the times that at least I can snuggle into her in my wet nappy while we have intimate moments / foreplay etc

Your very lucky you have a wife that at least accepts you, despite not participating.

 

[Karoq]

Your very lucky you have a wife that at least accepts you, despite not participating.

Definitely. It’s so nice to ne able to wear openly

 

[DiaperedJeff]

Cloth and plastic pants for me except when traveling.

 

[newAB43]

Cloth and plastic pants for me except when traveling.

That seems to be the most popular choice in this poll. lol

 

[newAB43]

Definitely. It’s so nice to ne able to wear openly

Takes away stress and anxiety of having to keep your “secret” hidden from the one you love.

 

[SpAzpieSweeTot]

That seems to be the most popular choice in this poll. lol

You have to reremember, it might also be that we're so rare, when we see a thread cloth even gets mentioned in, we pounce.

 

[Andrewgdfw]

You have to reremember, it might also be that we're so rare, when we see a thread cloth even gets mentioned in, we pounce.

and I kinda like being 'rare' -- even from an occasional cloth user.

 

[newAB43]

and I kinda like being 'rare' -- even from an occasional cloth user.

I consider myself the rarest of breeds: the “1%” club!

 

[newAB43]

You have to reremember, it might also be that we're so rare, when we see a thread cloth even gets mentioned in, we pounce.

I seek out rare rather that ordinary, much more interesting that way.

 

[Karoq]

Currently wearing a baby blue terry nappy and PUL pants

Hi, where do you get your PUL pants from. I used to get them from English on line company - Arizona - but they’ve closed down. Getting the right fit and quality of plastic pants is hard.

 

[newAB43]

Hi, where do you get your PUL pants from. I used to get them from English on line company - Arizona - but they’ve closed down. Getting the right fit and quality of plastic pants is hard.

Diaper covers are tricky to fit to get the best leak protection, in my experience,

 

[Belarin]

Hi, where do you get your PUL pants from. I used to get them from English on line company - Arizona - but they’ve closed down. Getting the right fit and quality of plastic pants is hard.

I've heard of but never bought from Arizona so I don't know how they compare in fit but Garywear do PUL pants, the Garywear Active brand, they fit me quite well and do the job just fine.

 

[Karoq]

I've heard of but never bought from Arizona so I don't know how they compare in fit but Garywear do PUL pants, the Garywear Active brand, they fit me quite well and do the job just fine.

Where do you buy them in Uk ?

 

[Belarin]

Amazon will drop a link later when I get home.

 

[DiaperTV]

Is there no way to add a poll to the thread? Imho that would be make sense here to get an overview of the results. This is hard on 6 sites of posts, even if the conversation is also interesting, I see this as a good additional thing to it.

I personally prefer disposable diapers. I didn't do an poll on my channel about exactly the same question, but about the outer material of the diaper, which seems to be a controversial topic even for those who like disposable ones. Since the majority voted for plastic diapers, I think that those also wouldn't like cloth diapers, if they already avoid cotton feel on disposable diapers.

Another thing is work and detection. Especially for persons who are living with their parents or other people who don't know about their diaper usage, it's harder to wash cloth diapers. Disposable ones can be picked in a bag and trashed. In a extreme case not at home and instead trashed in a public garbage can, so definitely nobody gets a chance to see them.

There is also the work of cleaning. So I'm wondering that it seems relatively many users here use cloth diapers, either only or at least together with disposable ones like cloth at home, disposables outside. I only heard yet from some combining the two, so if the disposable one leaks, the cloth diaper outside still keep the pants dry. Like a double diaper pack.

 

[Cottontail]

There is also the work of cleaning. So I'm wondering that it seems relatively many users here use cloth diapers, either only or at least together with disposable ones like cloth at home, disposables outside. I only heard yet from some combining the two, so if the disposable one leaks, the cloth diaper outside still keep the pants dry. Like a double diaper pack.

There are quite a few here who wear primarily cloth diapers. I'm one of them, although my situation is especially conducive. I work from home, and I have my own laundry equipment. I'll wear disposables on certain laundry days or certain outings, but it takes me a couple of months to go through a bag of ten.

I think a lot of people probably overestimate the burden of washing cloth diapers. I'm in diapers for about 40-50 hours/week, and I produce two medium-sized loads of diaper laundry in that time. It's really not a big deal--again, if you have your own equipment. Sure, loading smelly diapers into the wash is a little bit yucky, but it really takes very little time and effort in the big picture.

 

[Belarin]

Is there no way to add a poll to the thread? Imho that would be make sense here to get an overview of the results. This is hard on 6 sites of posts, even if the conversation is also interesting, I see this as a good additional thing to it.

I think polls for this have been done before, things change though so could be good to get an up to date tally.

Another thing is work and detection. Especially for persons who are living with their parents or other people who don't know about their diaper usage, it's harder to wash cloth diapers. Disposable ones can be picked in a bag and trashed. In a extreme case not at home and instead trashed in a public garbage can, so definitely nobody gets a chance to see them.

There is also the work of cleaning. So I'm wondering that it seems relatively many users here use cloth diapers, either only or at least together with disposable ones like cloth at home, disposables outside. I only heard yet from some combining the two, so if the disposable one leaks, the cloth diaper outside still keep the pants dry. Like a double diaper pack.

I think a lot of people probably overestimate the burden of washing cloth diapers. I'm in diapers for about 40-50 hours/week, and I produce two medium-sized loads of diaper laundry in that time. It's really not a big deal--again, if you have your own equipment. Sure, loading smelly diapers into the wash is a little bit yucky, but it really takes very little time and effort in the big picture.

Yeah there is definitely more work to using cloth over disposables and it is a lot harder if living with people who don't know (or who know and don't like it).

But to expand on what cottontail said, the actual work of washing and drying cloth diapers is not actually that bad, take a used nappy off, if soiled use a good liner that doesn't let mess really stick to it which can either be flushed off in the toilet or get a diaper sprayer attachment, either way drop it in a pail/wetbag. On wash day just empty into the machine on cold rinse cycle, then a full wash with detergent and hang up to dry.

Sure it can be a bit smelly for a few seconds as you put it in the machine but no worse than having a bag full of disposables to tie off and throw out. And yes it means doing a load of laundry every 2 or 3 days (depending on how you store/treat them), but once you get into the routine it's not that hard.

Personally though I really wish diaper laundry services were still a big thing (depending on where you live you can find them, but not many in the UK) especially ones that can cater to adults, for a monthly fee used diapers collected from your door and fresh professionally cleaned ones dropped off.
You have to pay a bit more for it which may negate the savings from using cloth but no need to wait in for the machine, no large obvious diapers hanging on the line for neighbours/guests to see and a guaranteed good clean with no need to measure correct amounts of detergent etc.

 

[Belarin]

Where do you buy them in Uk ?

@Karoq I said I'd drop the link to Amazon once I got home so Here it is, their prices may vary cause I remember only paying about £22 for them but that was a while back too as I took some measurements from them and now make my own (with slight variations.)

If you have access to a sewing machine they are actually real easy to make and you get also get thicker PUL fabric and patterned fabric and make adjustments to the fit for how you like them.

 

[newAB43]

Is there no way to add a poll to the thread? Imho that would be make sense here to get an overview of the results. This is hard on 6 sites of posts, even if the conversation is also interesting, I see this as a good additional thing to it.

I personally prefer disposable diapers. I didn't do an poll on my channel about exactly the same question, but about the outer material of the diaper, which seems to be a controversial topic even for those who like disposable ones. Since the majority voted for plastic diapers, I think that those also wouldn't like cloth diapers, if they already avoid cotton feel on disposable diapers.

Another thing is work and detection. Especially for persons who are living with their parents or other people who don't know about their diaper usage, it's harder to wash cloth diapers. Disposable ones can be picked in a bag and trashed. In a extreme case not at home and instead trashed in a public garbage can, so definitely nobody gets a chance to see them.

There is also the work of cleaning. So I'm wondering that it seems relatively many users here use cloth diapers, either only or at least together with disposable ones like cloth at home, disposables outside. I only heard yet from some combining the two, so if the disposable one leaks, the cloth diaper outside still keep the pants dry. Like a double diaper pack.

There is definitely a challenge to detection and keeping it a secret from family members that live with you and don’t know about the lifestyle. But, over the years I’ve developed a system from getting the diapers, to wearing, to disposal, without being detected.

 

[foxkits]

Eco able cloth diapers.
Disposable too.
Depending on how I feel