EverThePaddedRunt,
I know a number of ABDLs, some in relationships and some single, and I have yet to meet anyone in real life who actually lives 24/7 as someone's little. In my experience, for most couples where ABDL is part of their dynamic, the 24/7 part comes from small things and reminders of the dynamic on a daily basis. For example, my partner calls me her sweet little boy all the time (and it's wonderful), but I am not treated as a little or diapered 24/7 - in fact, that's what makes those times more exciting and special. This is not just my experience with ABDL couples -- I've seen this for couples where some form of BDSM is part of the relationship dynamic. I knew one BDSM couple where one partner wore a collar that was fairly well disguised as a heavy necklace -- but it was a way for them to maintain a 24/7 understanding of their dynamic. Everyone is going to be different, but, again, in my experience even those that say they are 24/7 on closer inspection tend to have an aspect of the dynamic that is 24/7 and don't actually live the full dynamic all the time.
In terms of finding someone, to echo all of the great advice on this thread, you first have to love yourself and be in a healthy place with who you are and your little side. For example, if you live with your parents (I don't know if you do, but just an example), you are not the only one, and perhaps part of you being authentic is acknowledging that up front. You want someone to love you for who you actually are where you are in life right now. But as many folks on here have said, you gotta do the work on yourself and love who you are before you're going to find someone else to love you.
As far as finding partners, as lilbabyjooce says, you can potentially find someone who will be ABDL friendly on FetLife, and lilbabyjooce is an example of folks who do find partners this way. But as they say, you may not want to base your relationship solely on the ABDL, caregiver/little dynamic. In my experience, most ABDLs I know are or have been active on FetLife and have gone to various munches and events, but found their partners either through old fashioned meeting someone at some other place or by using "vanilla" dating apps. I met my partner on a vanilla dating app - on that app, I indicated I was "adorably kinky" so that anyone swiping on me knew I had non-typical needs, and once my partner and I met the chemistry was great, we had a lot of non-ABDL common interests, and that's when I opened up to her about this vulnerable piece of who I am. And it works for us because we both (and I emphasize, BOTH) get what we need out of the dynamic. In other words, she is not sort of begrudgingly doing the ABDL dynamic with me - even though she is vanilla, what we do together (which I will not detail) makes her very happy, too. So I am actively giving her what she needs as much as she is actively giving me what I need. And if we're 24/7, it's through small but meaningful gestures and interactions, with more involved play happening in the bedroom and not in public.
I'll leave you with this to think about because it helped me finally find a compatible partner - what is it about the ABDL dynamic that you need/makes you happy? In other words, if you take the little space and diapers out of the equation, what core thing are you looking to get from your partner? The answer is up to you and will be different for everyone - honestly, for me, it was having a partner who was gentle, kind, and supportive. Sounds pretty simple, but in previous relationships those qualities were lacking in one form or another. So, for me, even if I met someone who was okay with my ABDL side (which I did a few times), if I couldn't check those boxes (gentle, kind, supportive), it wasn't going to work.
I wish you the best! Be well,
Tab
