When and how did you find out you weren’t the only one?

[skunk053]

Oh my gosh that reminded me of the Episode form CSI called King Baby where the guy who was murdered was an ABDL. I think that may have been one of the first times I realized others like this too. Though to be honest that episode was a horrible representation of the community.

I probably should've edited better. I lost shame and felt better once I searched up and found ADISC. Dang it, lol, I was too tired to properly post.

 

[Chrissie]

I think for me it was in the 70s when reading a copy of Forum magazine where I found letters from people who enjoyed wetting themselves and wearing nappies and baby wear. One or two other “girly” mags had letters from knicker wetters and the like. When the internet arrived, like many I came across WetSet and started buying their magazines. I still have several volumes. That was the big turning point with glossy colour issues and of course looking up wetting and messing sites which just blew my mind.
I’ve been into wetting and nappies probably since about 11/12 years old.

 

[enigmatic]

I was 9. I just randomly got curious and started to search on the internet with the phrase "I like diapers," or something similar. I remember I was surprised that I wasn't the only one. The first sites I remember were dpf and deeker's diaper page.

Since then I've always been curious about other individual stories and how they got here and why to see how similar or dissimilar their stories are.

 

[dogboy]

Wow! Deeker at age 9. I'm glad there is a site like ADISC for young explorers.

 

[steviet]

I was born in 1948. By age 5, (and no real diapers available for me to put on), I would stuff old towels into my underpants and pretend they were diapers. I even tried to get two of my friends to poop in their underpants with me and they each did! But once was enough for each of them and soon realized that my diaper life was something that I would have to enjoy alone. It wouldn't be until I was probably 25 years old when I picked up a copy of Penthouse letters magazine that featured a black and white ad for people who get "weak in the knees" for being diapered. I will never forget that advertisement. Suddenly, I wasn't the only person on the planet that enjoyed being pinned in cloth diapers. There was no internet yet, so I would scour the magazine racks for articles in Playboy, Penthouse, Hustler, etc. in search of more stories about AB/DL people. I didn't have internet until the mid 80s. That's when I found Diaper Pail Friends. WOW, that blew my mind. Seeing actual photos of guys wearing diapers and plastic pants. So at almost 74 years of age, I still love pinning on cloth diapers with my plastic baby pants too!

 

[PoofsNFloofs]

It was 1996. I was 11, and we'd just gotten our first family PC. The web was pretty open back in those days, so along with DPF and Deeker's I also saw Bittergrey's Den and a ton of other personal sites with pics and stories! Coming of age over the following couple years was a lot of fun for me.

 

[Aspie69]

1996. Internet. A website called The Adult Baby Zone (www.theabz.com).

 

[BabyHailey1977]

1996. Internet. A website called The Adult Baby Zone (www.theabz.com).

Yes me too!! It was such a good feeling knowing I wasn’t the only one.

 

[Ali123]

When I was fourteen I went for a sleepover at a friend’s house. My mother insisted I take nappies for bedtime.

I had no idea that John wore nappies too.

I think my mother thought I’d be embarrassed about having to be put into nappies with John, but in fact it was such a relief, knowing I wasn’t the only one.

We actually shared a bed , and it felt so good being with someone else wearing nappies.

 

[TungstenWrist]

While my earliest memory of my mind weirdly latching onto an idea related to diapers/accidents was at around the age of six or seven, I didn't really get to actively thinking about it much or really thinking about myself in relation to the rest of the world and whether what I did was "normal" until I'd started reading on FimFiction(like fanfiction dot net but specifically for MLP:FIM). In hindsight, I think I started reading abdl and nsfw things too early, but I try not to dwell too much on past actions from so long ago. I'm trying to focus on the present and what can be done now, both related to abdl things and just life.

Edit: in case it was unclear, reading fanfiction mattered because the existence of a story indicates the existence of a person who cared enough to write it.

 

[Mehrabad98]

When I was 10 I finally got curious enough and decided to google "older kids in diapers"
The results shocked me. The first thing that came up was a kid who looked to be about my age wearing a Pampers diaper. I remember seeing a link to zity.biz and clicked on it. Blocked. Stupid dictatorship internet. Anyways, I fired up my VPN and tried again. I ended up frequenting that site a lot for some questionable ABDL stories; I remember one quite vividly where these brothers with abusive parents were put in diapers as punishment. I read it voraciously, but I really felt sorry for the kids. American parenting culture genuinely baffles me.
Anyways, over the years I kept searching around and found this site, and a few others, then eventually decided to enter some teen spaces before finally taking the plunge recently to join this site now that I'm old enough.

 

[BlueDude]

Usenet fetish groups in 1994, specifically alt.sex.fetish.diapers. I was a college freshman, and had internet access for the first time. The web was barely a thing.

I was just browsing the list of groups when I found that one, and I was stunned. The conversation going on in it was of such a sexual nature that I was immediately put off, and I don't think I ever posted anything. Still, its existence was ... a big deal! I suddenly knew I wasn't alone with this.

Until I stumbled upon a.s.f.d. around '94, I didn't know this was a thing. I spent many years thinking I was weird and the only one that liked diapers. Just knowing of its existence was huge.

 

[fredy552]

Well, I remember at a friend's house when I was in kindergarten and 1st & 2nd grade he had a little brother and sister who were both still in diapers and his Mom kept these stacks of cloth diapers (this was before Pampers and such) in the laundry room and loved the smell and feel. I never wore one but wanted to. Then a year or two later my baby sister was moved into my room I tried on her plastic pants I did not get very far they were too small. I had read in the letters portion of the forum, hustler, and others about people wearing diapers and plastic pants and wetting in them. Then my brother and sister-in-law wanted to go out and I was asked to babysit my baby niece. After a little while I got the idea to get one of her diapers and try it on. Oh My Gosh, I Was Hooked on Diapers. I was probably 10-11-12. After that, I would fashion t-shirts or towels, or occasionally by now there were Pampers that I could use through H.S. I then joined the Army and wore them very seldom or not at all. In the 1990s and the internet came along and started having thoughts of diapers and found DPF and other Baby and or Wetting sights. I still only wore it once in a while. Then in the 2000s, my job took me without the wife a 7-hour drive away and I bought baby diapers I did not have those. I found on the internet ABDL clothing sites I ordered some Cloth diapers and plastic pants. I was in heaven wetting myself. Now in 2013-2014 or so I started having wetting issues and started buying adult pull-ups so now I could wear and wet accidentally and on purpose. In 2020 I got Covid and was hospitalized and put into a coma for a week and a half. I had bowel issues and such while under so my records say. I was kept in the hospital for a week after the Coma. At first, I could not pee then they put a catheter in and drained me! Then I started wetting the before nurse could get to me. One night the night nurse brought me diapers we had a discussion about sitting in a wet cold bed or a warm wet diaper! What do you think I chose? So I get home and my Incontinence in Nov. of 2020 gets worse and now 2023 I am now in Diapers and plastic Pants 24/7.

 

[Ceary]

I was more of DL but I definitely connected with the ABDL community as a teenager. I didn't even know anybody had a like of diapers until I was 16. Just one day I was like I wonder if other people like diapers.. And then looked it up online. And I found the ABDL community in 2006

 

[siysiy]

I am the only one! There is only one Siysiy, the wonder kid.

Many other Little ones may be alike, but I'm unick.

To view this content we will need your consent to set third party cookies.
For more detailed information, see our cookies page.

Accept third party cookies

 

[WarmAndSquishy]

I was around 11 years old and saw Riley on TLC

 

[LilJenJen]

For me it was… let's just say giving a 6 year old unrestricted internet access is a terrible idea. I still remember being exposed to aspects NOT suitable for minors. But yeah I knew I was not alone despite my parents doing everything to make me feel like I was the only one. That was actually the reason I turned to the WWW in the first place, I couldn't talk to my parents about liking diapers… so I went to look for answers elsewhere.

 

[Stargazer93]

It was around 2002, I think I was around 14 and I just got internet for the first time. And it didn't take long until I heard the term ABDL. It was a life changing moment. I just absolutely COULD NOT believe it wasn't just me. After all those years of thinking I was alone in this.

 

[SoggyRunner]

I first discovered I liked diapers around age 5 when I was compelled to try on and pee/poop in my little brother’s cloth diapers and plastic pants. I could just drop the used ones in the diaper pail and no one knew. About a year later when he was potty training, I have my first memories of being fascinated by accidents, something still with me today. At about age 8, my cousin found some diapers at her house, and we put them on, and dared each other to wet them. That was the first I knew of anyone else my age or older being curious about diapers. Her mom found out what we did and the old diaper stash disappeared, but we talked a lot about getting diapers again. We did get a couple and try them together once more a year or two later before never mentioning it again. From age 6 or so through my early teens, I maintained my DL interests managed to sneak off with the occasional diaper when visiting friends with younger siblings, cousins still in diapers, and even a couple of times our church nursery. I also indulged in secretly wetting and pooping my pants, and even used a crib mattress and old sheets and blanket I found in our walk-in attic to pretend to wet the bed a few times.

At about age 14, I lost interest in trying to get diapers, and my DL life lay dormant (in practice, not in fantasy) until around 1994 when I found alt.sex.fetish.diapers while in grad school. That led to other internet sites, and I realized it wasn’t just me and my cousin. My DL participation ebbed and flowed over the following years, and it still took over 2 decades to fully accept I was DL and (somewhat AB) and to tell my partner about that side of me. Fortunately she’s accepting, but (as of yet) doesn’t participate. I still wonder if my cousin remembers our diaper dare and if she has any DL interest, but couldn’t bring myself to ask about it now.

 

[cuteingly]

Really good question - it's nice to remind ourselves that we are not generally unique in our life experiences.
Reflecting on having these shared feelings is one thing, but accomplishing self-acceptance over them is quite another.

Shortly after turning 18, I got very curious about my feelings and searched the word 'nappy' into a web search engine, questioning whether the world would end before my paranoid eyes.
For the first time I read about "Adult Babies" and "Diaper Lovers", accidentally walked into the world of literary erotica, encountered pages explaining fetish play suggestions, and browsed through non-ADISC forum discussions about the ABDL joys, and being really mystified by all of this.
So, yes that's when I became aware, but instead of accepting that this was ok, deeply-rooted prejudice and internalised conflict resigned me to years of sexual repression and self-denial.

8 - 9 years later, a very fruitful reality check began.
After a slow and long journey of overcoming dozens and dozens of layers of even more basic psychological baggage, a scary question came to mind: "what if I did have a fetish?"
So... browsing the web to understand more, it was a blessing to recognise the sex-positivity as something positive, unlike before.
Curious to revisit exploration of the ageplay fetishes, I also discovered the ADISC website.
Instead of being filled with apathy, I learned to empathise over the stories that people shared here.
Then, after a few weeks, I decided I was actually ABDL myself, and could finally accept that and that it was ok to be this way.
Boom. Kink shame dissolves, along with some of the body shame carried since childhood.
Starting to feel less toxic, interpersonal relationships became healthier, and I no longer felt like a stranger or outsider to the world.

It's funny to think, but these days being into ABDL, etc. does not bother me nearly as much as loads of more 'normal' things.