Weird dream bad idea?

[Prillprillprill]

Tldr: considering telling neighbours I grow pot to avoid telling them I'm a little

I have 2 cats and my neighbours have 2 cats the same age. They're a lesbian couple, lets call them K and A. When they go away we feed their cats. However, due to the fact I have an ab nursery in my house we did not ask them to feed our cats when we go away. K and A are not only vanilla but really normies. I would really not want them to know I'm abdl. However, it turns out they were really offended by this. My husband works with K and so she doesn't take it personally he ended out telling her that the reason was nothing to do with not trusting them, but because I have a 'private room' I don't want them to see, and he can't tell them what it is.

Well as you can imagine this made her very curious, and since then after months of avoiding us (I guess because they were offered by not being asked to feed our cats) they suddenly keep making excuses to do things together and invite us over. Even trying to get us drunk and then subtly find out info on our lives. We went over last week and randomly K starts talking about kinks and says she and A have friends that are poly. Then she asks how we feel about polyamorory, if I didn't know better I'd have thought they were coming on to us tbh. Maybe they were. So my husband makes a joke about it and then changes the subject.

Another unrelated topic that came up is that there is always a white mercedes that hangs around our street, and how we think it's a drug dealer. Then we got on to the topic of drugs and I mentioned that I use medical cannabis for PTSD. Which was met with interest and acceptance, they're normies but they're not ultra conservative.

So after that evening I was laying in bed going over how weird the whole thing felt and what strange theories K must have come up with about 'the room'. And also slightly wondering if they did want to have sex with us. Then I fall into this weird dream filled slumber. I dream that I'm at this craft evening they invited me to. Here is what happened in the dream:

K is prying me with drinks and telling me about her sex life. Then I say 'I know what you're doing, but the room is isn't a sex room'
and she say 'what is it?'
I say ' it's a nursery'
her eyes go all wide and she says
'omg. You're pregnant!'
I say 'no not that kind of nursery', but her response reminds me how much of a normie she is and a suddenly realise I just don't want to tell her about my little side.
so I say... 'Its a nursery as in, I grow pot'
And the person in the merc is my distribution.

-End dream-

So it got me thinking. Would this be the worst thing if I did tell them this as a cover?
Has anyone else been in this type of situation?

 

[Edgewater]

Understanding, I have very little knowledge about being AB.

In my 'opinion,' lifestyles are highly private and how others will response runs the full gamut of reactions. Dreams are commonly one's subconscious working though challenges as part of one's conscious life. What this dream has determined is for you to define as you likely understand the references better than any of us.

I have lived a fairly open life as a 24/7, U-IC, which one could view as clearly vanilla. But, even I take great care in understanding any individual before I provide more that recommendations as to products. Some folks, you never let in your front door, others receive an open welcome. The difference is commonly what that little voice in your head tells you!

Your implausible response in your dream should tell you much!

 

[Deleted member 76595]

Tbh I just wouldn’t tell them if you don’t want to. I think it’s a little rude that they’re prying at all tbh, if they knew you wanted it kept private, they should respect that. I understand being curious, I would have been too if I were them, but I would respect your privacy too. You’re allowed to keep some things to yourself

 

[Nowididit]

You should have just put a lock and deadbolt on the nursery room door. Then this awkward situation wouldn't be screwing with your subconscious.

 

[Prillprillprill]

Tbh I just wouldn’t tell them if you don’t want to. I think it’s a little rude that they’re prying at all tbh, if they knew you wanted it kept private, they should respect that. I understand being curious, I would have been too if I were them, but I would respect your privacy too. You’re allowed to keep some things to yourself

Yeh you're right actually.

Maybe I should just avoid them

 

[stinkape]

Considering they are a lesbian couple, I would just naturally assume they would be more open and understanding to another person’s lifestyle because they have and still face the judgment of other close minded individuals.
It’s your choice if you tell them or not but sometimes I think we place to much fear of being discovered on ourselves .
In the end it’s just a simple and innocent kink that helps us shed the stress in our lives . We don’t advertise it or push it on others so if you tell them your secret they asked for it so they can deal with it .
Who knows they may be participant actors during your little time.

 

[Anemone]

I'm not sure what it is that you do but I seem to remember it being healthcare or adjacent. Especially if you're professionally registered disclosing criminality (even if not real) risks having it blow up in your face in a much more consequential way than the neighbours thinking you are weird/rude.

"It's a personal thing and I don't really want to get into it" should suffice to establish the boundary - its hard to ask follow up questions to that.

A secret private room on the otherhand... Sounds so exciting. I know what it is but even I'm curious to know more with a hook like that!

 

[Prillprillprill]

I think I'm going to just say I don't want to talk about it. They haven't asked since.
If it feels right and I get the chance I may tell them in the future. It doesn't feel right now. Not really going to say I'm a grower, would create more trouble than it's worth. Thanks for the advice.

A secret private room on the otherhand... Sounds so exciting. I know what it is but even I'm curious to know more with a hook like that!

Ask anything you like. I love talking about my nursery to people who get it.

 

[Anemone]

Ask anything you like. I love talking about my nursery to people who get it.

I'm immensely curious but I've no idea what to ask! Sounds amazingly cool though, always fun to geek out over little stuff!

 

[Frank]

Common sense has it that when nothing nice can be said silence is the best course of action, but...

Honestly, to me the biggest issue you might have with those people doesn't arise from their "normieness", but on the fact that they're completely unable to respect boundaries: that would make them dangerous even if their lifestyle and perspective was similar to yours.

Normally neighbors would respect that there are limits and decisions that other neighbors are perfectly entitled to take: reading about them getting offended because you didn't ask them to feed your cats while you were away feels like a huge red flag to me.

Unfortunately you are neighbors, and unfortunately, by the way you phrased it, it seems like you and your partner might have disclosed far more about your lives than it would have been prudent.

What's in "the room" isn't their business, and shouldn't be their concern in any case, no matter what's actually there.

The safest option here is to just tell them that, and establish boundaries, late as it might be.

Lying will likely have unintended consequences and implications, and telling them the truth could be extremely dangerous, given the people you are dealing with.

Please consider that any response that isn't "none of your business" would only result in feeding their extremely inappropriate and delusional behavior.

 

[Anemone]

Normally neighbors would respect that there are limits and decisions that other neighbors are perfectly entitled to take: reading about them getting offended because you didn't ask them to feed your cats while you were away feels like a huge red flag to me.

From my reading they extended a level of trust and feel slighted that this was not reciprocated.

No one wants to be in a situation where they are not trusted to return a favour but, without context, that is the situation they found themselves in.

If anything inquiring rather than assuming the worst is a sign of their good character.

One must not forget that there are existing relationship dynamics at play beyond simply occupying adjacent properties, familiarity is a huge factor in appropriateness.

 

[foxcub]

You should have just put a lock and deadbolt on the nursery room door. Then this awkward situation wouldn't be screwing with your subconscious.

this is the way.
i have a lock on the room i have all my personal stuff and computer and stuff in because i sometimes let friends use my apartment when im away and its easier that way. as far as they know its just a cupboard or something.

 

[Frank]

From my reading they extended a level of trust and feel slighted that this was not reciprocated.

No one wants to be in a situation where they are not trusted to return a favour but, without context, that is the situation they found themselves in.

If anything inquiring rather than assuming the worst is a sign of their good character.

One must not forget that there are existing relationship dynamics at play beyond simply occupying adjacent properties, familiarity is a huge factor in appropriateness.

While in my assessment I didn't mention their feelings at having perceived that their trust haven't been reciprocated, i didn't fail to consider that either (though in writing my previous statement I focused on their reaction, not their feelings per se), but rather assumed that this factor, while relevant on its own, could not change the outcome.

In other words, while they undoubtedly had every right to have the perception of not having been being treated by their neighbors in the same way they treated them, and understandably felt upset about it, I believe they had absolutely no right to act on that feeling, and besides I find their subsequent behavior equally concerning.

Thus, while appreciating your take, and empathizing with what their neighbors must have felt, I stand by my previous conclusions.

As you correctly pointed out, familiarity is essential in determining what is or isn't appropriate, but it also goes the other way around.

 

[Prillprillprill]

While in my assessment I didn't mention their feelings at having perceived that their trust haven't been reciprocated, i didn't fail to consider that either (though in writing my previous statement I focused on their reaction, not their feelings per se), but rather assumed that this factor, while relevant on its own, could not change the outcome.

In other words, while they undoubtedly had every right to have the perception of not having been being treated by their neighbors in the same way they treated them, and understandably felt upset about it, I believe they had absolutely no right to act on that feeling, and besides I find their subsequent behavior equally concerning.

Thus, while appreciating your take, and empathizing with what their neighbors must have felt, I stand by my previous conclusions.

As you correctly pointed out, familiarity is essential in determining what is or isn't appropriate, but it also goes the other way around.

I appreciate your thoughts.

They are our friends as well as neighbours, but not that close. I think it probably is bit cheeky of K all the same. But we'll see

 

[Rainbow]

Okay, I just need to say that your dream was hilarious.

"You're pregnant?"

"No, you fool, I grow cannabis!"

...But in all seriousness, it feels incredibly rude for them to pry into something that's obviously private for you. It's kinda messed up that they'd try to do things to get you to open up about it.

 

[foxkits]

Put a dead bolt on the door or a lock.
Making it to compacted

 

[Prillprillprill]

Put a dead bolt on the door or a lock.
Making it to compacted

A few people have said that but that's not really the problem. We already told them it's a private room.

 

[Ali123]

this is the way.
i have a lock on the room i have all my personal stuff and computer and stuff in because i sometimes let friends use my apartment when im away and its easier that way. as far as they know its just a cupboard or something.

Do you ever worry that they might somehow unlock it?

 

[Ali123]

I don’t think your neighbours are being rude. As soon as someone says there’s something secret I think it’s natural to wonder what it is.

And I’m sure they will have been a little offended by not being asked to feed your cats, and will now be wondering even more what’s in the private room that could warrant you not wanting them to see.

It would be great if you could find a safe way of letting them see it, but you’d have to be pretty sure of their reaction first.

Failing that maybe show them another room with a load of files in it, and say that’s your private room as you keep all your records in there. Then when they see how unexciting it is they’ll forget about it.

 

[CptKirk]

I'd build in a way to lock that door so that they can't access it, then allow them to feed your cats. Problem solved! I can't speak to being an AB but I can see why you'd be concerned about how someone who doesn't know this aspect of your lifestyle might be wildly opposed to the entire ordeal. I'd engineer locks, put all of your stuff in that particular room when you go away, ensure there's no way to access it from a window and that there are blinds pulled over the windows and have them watch your cats. If they're honest people, and they likely are as you're friendly with each other, you have nothing to worry about from then on. SURE, they'll ALWAYS be interested in whatever it is you're hiding, but unless you decide to tell them, they'll never find out.
Best of luck! If you need to know how to decide what lock(s) to go with and how to install them yourself, feel free to ask me! I can likely write step by step instructions including which tools you'll need and probably in what order LOL.
CptKirk.