Spouses question

[fredy552]

I change in our bedroom or the bathroom our room is upstairs we have 2 Grandsons that live with us now 16 and 18 so being discreet is a must as far as I know they do not know Grandpa wears diapers. She walked in on me changing my diaper, but it was no big deal. Would you help I honestly do not know I never asked her, and she has never offered to help. We have been married 42 years so not a big deal. I keep my used diapers in a bag and dispose of them daily in the garbage.

I think I need to add to this as I have had some now reread what I wrote. I believe my wife is totally disgusted with my Diapers and Plastic Pants OAB Incontinence. It has been two weeks and attempted to not wear my Diapers and Plastic Pants and have woken up to wetting the bed (I have gotten up rather quickly and have not wet the bed so badly. If I do head to a toilet as soon as my head says hey dude, you need PEE now I am in trouble. So, what I am getting at my wife has not gotten over me wearing diapers and plastic pants instead of pee pants. My underwear is wet by the end of the day not soaked just wet. Last night I was not wearing, and I sneezed and sort of Pooped and Peed my Pants I immediately went to my room and changed my clothes and put a diaper on. Did tell her No did she know? I suspect she may have. I am still very discreet about my wearing Diapers and Plastic Panties. Smile and Diaper on I tried to go without my diapers and plastic pants and was pretty stressful so back into wearing diapers and plastic pants if I made it to the potty and only wet a little in my diapers so be it that is better than totally losing it in public because I did not make it to the bathroom on time. My wife may not care for me wearing but then I will not embarrass her or myself by wetting my pants in public.

 

[slimjiminy]

fredy552, having endured the embarrassment of wetting the bed a couple of times, my wife asked with me to wear something because she was quite annoyed about the accidents. You might say that she was pissed about it

I tried cloth diapers initially but laundry was a problem. Because I switched to cloth-backed TENA (NA) Supers, I wear plastic pants over them. She didn't like the plastic pants, which she called "baby pants". But I explained to her how the TENA Super weeps when thoroughly wet, and she has not opined since. At first I washed them while she was away but she later told me it was ok to hang them in the shower. While she says she'll never get used to my "baby pants", she has learned to accept it. I always where PJs, so she only ever sees them in the closet or drying in the shower.

It's been a process for us.

Neither of us were thrilled about my U-IC onset. In the beginning I kept her informed but over time, she just told me that she trusts me to use whatever I need (too much information). These days she fully supports my diaper needs. I think sometimes that she accepts it better than I do.

 

[Howwedoin]

Interesting. I wear Tena Supers every night for comfort. I wet a large amount last night and many nights. I wear flannel pants only, no underwear. I had a few wetting dreams and woke up while going. Two mattress stains and a frustrated wife later, I started wearing diapers just in case. It has saved me a few times. Now I wet on purpose on the fourth night in the same diaper.

I know the dampness feeling on the outside feeling, but it’s technically not wet outside. Although, I don’t know how long you’re wearing a wet diaper or if you’re over capacity.

Do you think you could compromise by getting a pad under you that you can wash and dry easier? That wetness feeling isn’t much to need plastic pants in my opinion. Even you washing the sheets every week may make her happier about no more “baby pants” and more appreciative.

I’m sure you’ve tried everything. You have my sympathy.

 

[slimjiminy]

Do you think you could compromise by getting a pad under you that you can wash and dry easier? That wetness feeling isn’t much to need plastic pants in my opinion. Even you washing the sheets every week may make her happier about no more “baby pants” and more appreciative.

I was replying more to fredy552 re spousal reaction and my specific experience with that. I already use a IC mat underneath the sheets, which rarely gets affected when there are leaks. My wife is used to my "nightly arrangement" these days. I was just sharing how things were in the beginning. I still feel that the pastic pants are necessary with the TENA Super.

 

[Wetshisbed]

I was replying more to fredy552 re spousal reaction and my specific experience with that. I already use a IC mat underneath the sheets, which rarely gets affected when there are leaks. My wife is used to my "nightly arrangement" these days. I was just sharing how things were in the beginning. I still feel that the pastic pants are necessary with the TENA Super.

I wouldn't risk tena super without plastic pants. Tena maxi maybe but I sleep in plastic pants with a Kylie to catch any leaks. I am a very heavy wetter at night.

 

[jimj64811]

I always cover my diapers around my wife using PUL pants. Only in the bedroom do I walk about in PUL pants (and diaper). Anywhere else I wear pants or shorts. When changing my diaper, I always close the bathroom door. We have a closed trash can in the bathroom where I dispose of my diapers and catheter supplies.

 

[Dinotopian2002]

I’m IC, so being diapered isn’t a lifestyle choice for me - but I’ve started to wear more openly around my girlfriend, when it’s just the two of us. She’s aware of my diaper needs and it’s not a secret between us.

She’s said she feels more relaxed when she can see my diaper, because she knows it’s keeping both of us dry.

Something I’ve found which helps me is to explain that my body functions are normal - I’ve just lost control when they happen. While it can be embarrassing, it’s not as bad as losing blood.

In terms of modesty, I treat my diaper like regular underwear - not to be exposed openly, but it’s fine to show when wearing to bed or for the waistband to show.

But above all it’s attitude - with the right diaper and the right mindset, incontinence can be easier to manage.

Breathe Deep, Seek Peace
Dinotopian2002

 

[JeriHfoley18]

Well, what about it is actually being hard about it.

it's just a fact that uring happens, and if she isnt changing you then about the only thing you can do is to keep yourself clean.

When you need to change, if you want to, do it in the bathroom, put in a bag so she doesnt see/smeel the diaper.

Perhaps wear pajamas over the top all the time if you dont, if seeing a diaper bithers her.

You need to ask her or least say what you know/think is bothering her.

I mean, in all reality, she bleeds every month and used a pad or tampon for that, this is life, and shouldnt be anything to be bothered by, it's like everyone uses the bathroom it not something that can be avoided.

My suggestions without specific info from you:
Change when you need to, use some scented powder too.
Wear pajamas over the top of the diaper, if not a diaper cover too.
Change in the bathroom, dispose of the diaper asap and/or put in a seperate bag right away.
Maybe keep things trimmed to keep smells as bay.
If being intimate, take a shower right before, and if there is any issues with any spillage then maybe get a bed pad, but that isnt usually an issue anyhow.

Besides that, i cant think of any general thing that you can do, but please post if you have specific things she is having issues with, i may be of more help once knowing that.

Spitting facts.
In my sobriety from alcohol, my brain has been all over the place. All the feelings with incon, wearing diapers. Shame, embarrassment et .. we talked about it and everything is fine. It’s taken time but now it’s just normal. I’d never put her in a position to be uncomfortable. I’m just happy, humbled. And grateful that my partner understands this medical bullshit and supports me.

Semper fi everyone,
One day at a time.

 

[Bigbabybret]

Spitting facts.
In my sobriety from alcohol, my brain has been all over the place. All the feelings with incon, wearing diapers. Shame, embarrassment et .. we talked about it and everything is fine. It’s taken time but now it’s just normal. I’d never put her in a position to be uncomfortable. I’m just happy, humbled. And grateful that my partner understands this medical bullshit and supports me.

Semper fi everyone,
One day at a time.

Great, i know that is hard, my ex went through hazelden back many many years ago after leaving my house in an ambulance, i know how bad it can be and is really hard to kick that habit especially that it;s everywhere and available on every corner.

You keep up the good work, and glad you and the spouse are getting through it.

P.S. the split was not about the drinking nor the 12step or alike, thankfully as that would be really hard on her, was just over the decade plus together and some changes in my work and health didnt all align in the end, but no issue talking to her today

 

[Subtlerustle]

I’ve been married for 20 plus years. My wife has had probably a dozen accidents of each variety since we’ve been married. None have changed my view or attraction to her even though she was extremely embarrassed each time. I think it’s normal to be self conscious but it’s also likely those that have accidents or are IC likely over estimate the impact they have on their spouse. Maybe being a DL and such has made me more sensitive and compassionate but always make sure to hug her after. IC isn’t a choice and neither are accidents.