Mixed feelings

lilshelly

lilshelly

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Long story short as I can make it . I stopped at the gas station to change my diaper after meeting my husband for dinner before he started his night. As I was wrapping the wet diaper up. The thought hit me If you would have told me even five years ago that I would be more dependent on diapers both for my Cerebral Palsy and my emotional need I would have told you that you were crazy. There has been talk of the stigma that follows diapers and I can say that for a minute I was wondering if I made the right decision to turn to diapers. It has made things easier. As I don't worry about rushing to the bathroom and falling on the way. I can wet my diaper and change when I can. As for the emotional side of things yes I do feel better when I am wearing but I don't know if it honestly makes a difference. I would have to ask an outside source such as my husband or my mom to see if I am any better off. I guess I was just hit with mixed feelings as the title says and I just wanted to voice them.
 
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If you have CP, and do not acquire the products needed to help you manage your condition, then a social worker would likely consider you as having a reduced capacity to care for yourself. You could end up being a candidate for guardianship. So yes, buying the diapers is a very smart move. It would be even wiser to discuss your situation with your doctor, so that they can be aware of your needs should you ever land in a hospital for any reason.
 
It was put in my medical file in January. Things just happen different than what I had it pictured in my head. For some unknown reason I didn't expect a gradual decline in my ability to walk. I more or less expected it to be like okay so my legs won't carry me anymore. and have to be wheelchair bound before the diapers would come into play.
After talking to others about aging with Cerebral Palsy I should have known that I might slow down as I age, if my legs give up all together is yet to be seen. I try to stay active so that I can keep moving that is a key to staying on my feet. I do drag my feet more which is something I have always done but when I get tired I seem to be dragging them a lot more lately which is causing me to fall. That was the reason I went to the doctor . I can still feel the need to go but I can't always make it to the bathroom, unless I am at home which I am within a reasonable distance from the bathroom where I can make it without an issue.
 
I have a biological DNA match who has CP. Her grandfather told me that she would not manage her incontinence properly, and would pass on the products she needed to keep a proper level of hygiene. And for that reason, she was shunned. She now lives in Minnesota, at a community that is managed by the Ebenezer Society for the elderly and disabled. She has a lot of bitterness towards caregivers in her past, including her own parents.

There is a strong lesson to be learned here: Manage your condition and purchase the tools necessary to do so. Or, deal with a diminished social capacity and severely limited relationships. If you can manage your finances, provide for your own mobility, and know how to work the system, that will make any case worker proud. I am among a very small, select few individuals who can take care of my own personal needs, without intervention of any kind. And for that reason, my team will work with me to help me achieve my goals to the best of their ability, which is to live a middle-class lifestyle while requiring minimal assistance, and maintaining all of my constitutional rights.

You can do the same thing!
 
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I guess that I am really lucky in the fact that I have been able to live my life without much aid. I needed the help when I was younger but after I hit the age of 15 pretty much the help was not needed.
Now that I am getting older and starting to feel the effects of the Cp I can't get much in the way of help. I have worked for around 25 years which gave me independence but there are health needs that are starting to creep up on me that I can't afford to take care of on my own. I failed to plan financially which is my fault. I have never had a real high paying job. I work to get by.
I know there are people who don't need the system that can get everything then it seems that there are people that could use a little help and can't get it. I have talked to a disability firm and they won't even take my case until I turn fifty or just can't function as a human being.
 
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Yeah see a year or 2 ago I had to ask for my first accommodation at work. I made the mistake of sitting down from time to time to do something on the computer. They found I was not the only one using the chair so they took it away. The damage had been done I had gotten used to being able to sit down from time to time. I was told because it wasn't fair to others I would have to file for continued use of the chair. I did.
Now my job allows me to work at a desk, however I have to walk to get things done which is getting harder. I make myself walk because I am afraid that if I don't my legs will stiffen up and I won't be able to walk at all. I have gotten to the point where I don't go to the back of the store at all. My locker is back there the bathrooms and break room. I put my work vest in the managers office I go out to my car for lunch which is the only break I take, which has handicapped plates (which I fought against for a while) again I was going to be made to walk from the back of the lot if I didn't do something.
You give me hope. At the moment I have seen a slow decline in my health over the last few years and it scares me. I don't have the energy that I once did. I work my 40 hours but I pay for it. I don't want to do much when I get home and on the weekends it is hard for me to do the house work. I do a little at a time and I don't try to accomplish as much as I used to.
 
At least I am not alone. I spent years only admitting to myself that I had a disability when it was brought up by others. As things change in am starting to realize that i can't deny it even to myself. I am coming to terms that I can't do what I used to. Pushing myself as I have in the past is not always the best thing to do anymore.
 
It's good that you have a husband who can help. I did a lot for my wife after her leg was amputated (diabetes). She used to walk around the house to stay active and get some exercise. Keep doing as much as you can for as long as you can. If diapers keep you from falling then wearing them is a very good thing. You need to take care of you.
 
Husband right now helps to a point financially and emotionally. I am by myself most of the time because he is a regional truck driver and only has his 34 hour breaks that he comes home for but still a blessing
 
I'm sure that can be difficult. Hang in there. I hope things improve. Sometimes health issues are cyclical and improve. I hope they do for you.
 
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