Milianna's Bedtime Gratitude

Milianna · Sep 15, 2021

I hope I can maintain this as an ongoing thing, but I want to try and post 3 things every night that I am grateful for.

It's something and a habit I can get back into. I guess it helps my mentality around life and myself so... let's go!

Anyone is free to join me in this and they can list anything that they're grateful for. Big or small.

Here's mine:

1) I am grateful that I was able to get a good solid 2 hrs of research assistant work today.

2) I am grateful that I was able to talk with new friends and be cheered up when I was frustrated with some chemistry work

3) I am grateful that the apples I got from the dining hall today were crunchy and sweet

Milianna · Sep 16, 2021

1) I am grateful I finished studying for my biology test tomorrow

2) I'm grateful that I was able to talk to my friends today

3) I am grateful that the weather wasn't hot today

Milianna · Sep 17, 2021

1) I am grateful I got my sample of bunny hopps

2) I am grateful that I got to play Minecraft with my friend and was able to watch anime with a friend as well

3) I am grateful that I finished my Biology exam

Milianna · Sep 18, 2021

1) Was highly productive today in spite of my relapses

2) Grateful to my roommate who let me try some of her protein bars

3) Grateful that I got a 94% on my first biology exam of the year

Milianna · Sep 19, 2021

1) I am grateful that I got to meet up and talk with my younger sister

2) Grateful that I got a nice nap in the afternoon

3) Grateful that the new flavor of instant noodles I tried was nice

Milianna · Sep 20, 2021

1) I am grateful my professor used my example of political speech in current events as a class example

2) I am grateful that there was a new variety of apple in the dining hall and that tasted really nice

3) I am grateful that I was able to get all of my scientific writing done and it was clear and concise.

Milianna · Sep 21, 2021

1) I am grateful that I managed to get a hot, relaxing shower in today instead of the usual rushed ones

2) I am grateful that I had a productive lecture and I managed to get some clues as to how to better revise for the upcoming Chemistry exam.

3) I am grateful that I was sent some nice beach vacation photos from the Florida Keys. It made me want to visit around there sometime.

I will admit. I'm trying really hard to keep these up. Especially today, this was a harder day for me and I had to really try to figure out what to be grateful. Still, I'm trying. As to whether or not my efforts are enough, only time will tell

Milianna · Sep 22, 2021

1) Grateful that I got my new paci and computer mouse

2) I am grateful that I was prepared for my biology lab, even if it was in a small way

3) I am grateful that I got very positive and constructive feedback on my English Essay

Milianna · Sep 23, 2021

1) my friend and I shared some good music

2) the chemistry lab actually went well

3) I discovered a good new song

Still struggling today. I feel very very large today. A lot of body dysmorphia. I don't feel like I look thin or underweight in the slightest. Struggling to see the point in staying stable. Feeling increasingly sick but fighting on

Milianna · Sep 25, 2021

1) my friends supported me on a low point both in server and DMs

2) watched some wholesome cartoons with my friend

3) feeling less nervous about a chemistry exam

Milianna · Sep 25, 2021

1) I am grateful that I managed to get some of my shit together and finished the portfolio I had been procrastinating

2) I was able to share a song I loved

3) I was able to fight through today even though this was tough.

Had heart palpitations again this morning. It's usually brought on by things like running and I'm not surprised because given my medical conditions, I should be taking electrolytes. I've noticed my IC is less bad... But probably because I'm getting more and more dehydrated due to my relapses and the fact I'm unintentionally restricting water.

Had more than one breakdown today due to the relapses but I feel ok now. I don't know what I'm doing but I'm trying.

Milianna · Sep 28, 2021

1) I am grateful that my professor discussed the possibility of publishing my essay after editing it

2) I am grateful I was able to stop the cycle today

3) I am grateful that I was able to help my roommate out with her studying

Milianna · Sep 28, 2021

1) I'm grateful I treated myself to some sushi and it turned out better than expected

2) I'm grateful that I was able to figure out some of my chemistry test and I kept my cool despite some unexpected hiccups

3) I'm grateful for no cycle

Honestly... Kinda feeling weird about the cycle. Kind of tired of feeling like I'm gaining weight from attempting to stop. So... Yeah. I just feel lost at times. I don't know why I technically don't want to gain weight. I don't even want to really lose weight since I look socially acceptable thin I guess. I just have a why not mindset at times. Feeling like I need to spiral to feel like I'm worthy of something or to feel something more

Milianna · Sep 29, 2021

1) had a frank and honest conversation today

2)I had a nice dinner and a nice time with a friend

3) presentation went well

Milianna · Oct 1, 2021

1) I am grateful that the tests for this week are over

2) I am grateful that there was the nice variety of apple in the dining hall

3) I had a nice time writing my own personal things, my emails, as well as my essays.

Struggling with cycles. Ambivalent about everything. Don't know what to do but I'm still here.

Milianna · Oct 2, 2021

1) Grateful that I had a wonderful time watching anime with a friend

2) Grateful that soon I'll be able to play some games with the cord coming in on Tuesday and my exams are over.

3) Grateful that I had fun playing truth or dare on a voice call.

For an autistic lady who is just... Idk. Antisocial as hell and has trouble being with people, I had a lot of fun with people today. And I'm glad for that.

The cycles don't seem to end but I want it to end soon I suppose. Idk. Health stuff makes me want to do better but I don't know what to do really.

Milianna · Oct 3, 2021

1) I am grateful that I was able to have a candid conversation with some of my friends

2) I am grateful that I was able to get a fair bit of work and chores done today

3) I am grateful that I was able to finish my research hours done this week

Tough day. Just a tough day with people. I broke down a lot and... I had to think a lot about what to be happy for

Milianna · Oct 4, 2021

1) grateful for one day without the stupid cycle.

2) grateful that I got a lot done today in terms of classwork

3) grateful that I was able to have a productive appointment