Coffee with Rosie

[safaridaze]

Just read this short little book after so many recommendations. It does not give a great deal of hope for putting little me away. It does make me think I need to just man up and tell my GF that my little diapered self is not going away and stop hiding. My hope would be we could build a structure around it. It is very sad to me that I will most likely always be alone when I am little, but ending the hiding would be a burden off my shoulders. I think if I knew I had some fixed little time to look forward to, and I didn't have to hide it, It would eliminate much of my anxiety around the if, when, how I can be little next questions in my head.

Do others have relationships that work when the significant other is not at all apart of their ABDL self, but is fully aware? Do you get resentful in the end? It feels a bit like rejection of the little guy inside of me... It seems akin to telling her I have another son, and she not wanting anything to do with him.. or.... I am just nuts!!

 

[Subtlerustle]

You’re not nuts lol. Hiding this is a massive burden and general buzzkill. Do you know confidently that she will reject it? I’d say most women fall in the middle where they accept it but don’t participate. Would this still be depressing for you? If so you should at least consider finding another mate unless you’re already committed.

 

[safaridaze]

Well - that is the song in my head - find another mate. I love her to bits. I did disclose my DL and Little self to her. She does not get it and does not want anything to do with it. we are still together and I have returned my diaper wearing to private and secret times. With my GF, all is very good, but she does not like this part of me, so I hide it. it does feel more and more like rejection and I am truly struggling. I was actually reading the book for answers to help, it seemed to offer more despair. thanks for the perspective!!

 

[lust4apples]

I'm waiting on my copying of "You're not Broken" by Rhoda Lipscomb (I think) to arrive in the mail but I've heard that there's a lot of good info in there for helping spouse and partners understand.

I'm planing to highlight the points that resonate with me and then hand the book to my spouse after. He's doing pretty well so far but I've still been mostly exploring separate so far.

If I find it's helpful I can let you know, that way you don't waste money on a book that isn't helpful to you.

At the end of the day she may never accept that part of you and you might have decide if that means she's not a good match for you or if you are able to keep these parts of your life a secret from her. Just know that hiding these things can weigh really heavy not just on the relationship but also on your mental and physical health.

 

[safaridaze]

I'm waiting on my copying of "You're not Broken" by Rhoda Lipscomb (I think) to arrive in the mail but I've heard that there's a lot of good info in there for helping spouse and partners understand.

I'm planing to highlight the points that resonate with me and then hand the book to my spouse after. He's doing pretty well so far but I've still been mostly exploring separate so far.

If I find it's helpful I can let you know, that way you don't waste money on a book that isn't helpful to you.

At the end of the day she may never accept that part of you and you might have decide if that means she's not a good match for you or if you are able to keep these parts of your life a secret from her. Just know that hiding these things can weigh really heavy not just on the relationship but also on your mental and physical health.

that was next on my list to read as well - but I need to get the day job done too! Let me know what you think - I have seen good reviews on here about it! thanks for the thoughts - well said and I agree fully!

 

[Subtlerustle]

Well - that is the song in my head - find another mate. I love her to bits. I did disclose my DL and Little self to her. She does not get it and does not want anything to do with it. we are still together and I have returned my diaper wearing to private and secret times. With my GF, all is very good, but she does not like this part of me, so I hide it. it does feel more and more like rejection and I am truly struggling. I was actually reading the book for answers to help, it seemed to offer more despair. thanks for the perspective!!

I get it. For years this was a problem in my marriage. The issue was we left it unfixed for so long that I did build up resentment. The feeling of rejection was real though I had to examine my own role in how I explained it in the beginning and how I withheld for some time. It was two years into marriage that I disclosed. Regardless you will either have to get over it (not great odds imo) or revisit this with your GF. You’re in the right track getting all your research and emotions in order first.

 

[ABDLlover]

Hello, I am a SO that is not into it for my self, however my hubby is into ABDL he just told me about this side of him about a year ago. It was a lot to take in I admit. But bc i love him and it was not doing any harm i was willing to try and be accepting of it. I will say this one of the first things he did after telling me was letting me know about this site so that i could get on here and try to do a little research and get differnt perspectives and even some support if needed. I do believe that did help me out a good bit. Now i love seeing him in his attire. In fact i just got done putting him in a diaper and footed pajama, gave him his passi and tucked him in the bed. He is laying next to me in the bed and WE could not be happier.

 

[BBBen]

Hi safaridaze,
When i hear yourcstory, it sounded to me like my past. Ofcourse our litle side and being dl is our whole persona, but its for us a important part of life. And as other said, it could be a realy bad thing for psychical and mental health, if this side of you feel repressed.
I had to learn for myself to give this side freeroom and dont feel ashamed. And iam still in learning process. Yeah not evrybody in the world had to know that iam abdl. And it will be good at all. But in my own safeplace it must be a thing i dont have to hide, but to expetoment with. And in a partnership this only begins by yourself.
Your feelings about diapers wont get away. But its no monster or demon. Its your own healthcare and a wonderful side of you.
With my first wife i didnt understand that either. I had fear of discover and being neglected by her. And yeah she didnt want to do something with my diapers. This is no big deal, if nothing big happens. But when the deep lifeimpacts ate coming it realy can get vety hard. And then i have to say: its a thing both of you have to integrate step by step, little by little without to overwhelm both of you.
Imagine other wise: Your spouse fully accept and wants to be involve and i.e. bany you fulltime. Yeah thats a great fantasiestory - but it will overwhelm my own me, too. Nowadays iam happy, that my abdl side had time to grow. And yeah today i do more ab things that i never could imagine before - like laying here in my foozed pj a wet diaper and write you here on adisc.

But yeah that is now. Before was a path with many tears and pain. And yeah my firdt marriage ended with divorce. We had lost us on that path. That was a realy rough time.

But nowadays it was the best chance of life to sort out what i want for my own life. And the sentenced which helps me on that way is: you are worth it! Trust in your way of life.

My now wife is accepting and supporting. Tjat doesnt mean fully indulge. But i can wear whenever i want. I dont have to hide. And i can do adisc with knowing her. But the important thing is, i also can gove her time for us without abdl. Perhaps someday i will have a own nursery or have baby treatment But at all i know, we will not ovetwhelm us and grow together.


Feel free to dm me. I wish you on your journey, that you find yourself without fear, but selfconfidence. And if there are tears and pain remember one thing: after a storm there will be also days with sunshine

 

[Joeysms]

there are many factors that come into play with regards to a relationship especially one that is to be a life partnership with someone. you know your partner best and any advise given may and may not be helpful for your given relationship. each relationship is unique (customized). i have found that being open and honest is always best. i cannot say your partner's reaction will be positive and that she will fully embrace you having an AB side. But with love and respect you have to give her that chance to truly get to know you and everything about you as you would want the same about her. no relationship is prefect. something we build up fear inside our heads to keep ourselves from taking that step forward that way we protect ourselves from being hurt and rejected. stuff like this is never easy but always remember having a strong AB side is not shameful nor embarrassing it can highlight the best in you. test the waters and speak to your partner. but don't do all the talking you have to listen in return.
i am blessed i and my partner have found the balance we are life partners, best friends, lovers, and mommy and little. does it work perfectly no it has its ups and downs. the happiness however far out weights the difficult times. i have the freedom to be me and loved for it. i believe it is unhealthy to hide your true self you can control parts of you at times but the true you has to always be allowed to shine. who knows your partner might fully embrace your AB side maybe not at first but over time see how special that part of you is. best of luck with however you move forward with this.

 

[safaridaze]

Hello, I am a SO that is not into it for my self, however my hubby is into ABDL he just told me about this side of him about a year ago. It was a lot to take in I admit. But bc i love him and it was not doing any harm i was willing to try and be accepting of it. I will say this one of the first things he did after telling me was letting me know about this site so that i could get on here and try to do a little research and get differnt perspectives and even some support if needed. I do believe that did help me out a good bit. Now i love seeing him in his attire. In fact i just got done putting him in a diaper and footed pajama, gave him his passi and tucked him in the bed. He is laying next to me in the bed and WE could not be happier.

AWW.... Now that is the one in a million stories that keeps my hopes alive. Thanks for sharing!

 

[TexHagrid]

This book is designed to be read by the s/o of an ABDL. My wife read it (after I read it and requested she do the same). The net result was… nothing. Nothing changed in her attitude towards diapers (which is 1000% fine). That said, she did read it all in one sitting, instead of a chapter each day/week.


I appreciate that the author tries to make it simple and relatable, but it’s just too complex of a topic to squeeze into so few pages. Maybe it works for some, but I don’t encourage people to expect much. Selling a vanilla person on ABDL is extremely difficult.

 

[oreobaby89]

So I told my wife about my ABDL side right before we got engaged. At the time I said I was trying to overcome it. I honestly tried to rid this part of me. However the suppression of my little led to A LOT of compulsive masturbation, secrecy, lies, and other sexual issues that was coming close to ending our relationship. After 7 years I decided to not fight it anymore and accept this side. My wife had known I had been trying to stop this but was hesitant to me accepting it because it seemed to be solely a sexual thing to her that was hurting our relationship. However, she was willing to give it a go with some rules (which sometimes I broke). It has been two years since then and we have both grown a lot since then in accepting this side of my. I have read "The Adult Baby Identity" Series by Dylan Lewis, "Your not Broken" by Dr. Rhoda, as well as "Coffee with Rosie" which my wife read also. I read "Their is still a baby in my Bed" and now my wife and I are almost finished reading it together. She will act as CG to me and engages with more on it as time goes on. It has taken a ton of work for us to get here as well as a lot of hard conversations. There were high emotions at times but it was always beneficial as we worked to understand each other more. My wife and I both prayed A LOT, and fasted about this. I can honestly say that one of the reasons my wife made such quick progress with with accepting my ABDL side, after years of rejecting it, was because of our faith in Jesus Christ and his Atonement working in both of us to help gain understanding, love and compassion for each other. So if you want to continue to continue you relationship you will need to have that conversation with your girlfriend and then another, and another, and another. It is scary, it will bring out some strong emotions, and you are going to be venerable but it is absolutely worth it.