Angelic
Est. Contributor
- Messages
- 1,583
- Role
- Adult Baby
- Little
- Incontinent
Christmas is meant to be happy and a time to be little, I had a nice Christmas dinner, got good presents and met dads girlfriends family. I had a nice time overalls but some points which have caught up with me which is emotionally painful.
I nearly bawled out in the shower and I hoped to god nobody heard that.
It's how people treat me that hurts the most. Inside i am a gentle, playful and confident little girl but all my body shows is a quiet, reserved and emotionally pained woman!
But one nice thing that came out of it was the fact that dads girlfriends mother asked if brought toys with me and I had never met her before, she seemed to except me and treat me as if I was around 9 years old. That was nice and I enjoyed talking to her, I may of given a few hints to my real age like announcing I was going for a job in retail in the new year.
Starting from this morning, dad and his girlfriend got up and I said merry Christmas etc, I mentioned that I never slept a wink even though I tried to but I never fell asleep, dad turned around and said "fuck off!!!" In a tone of voice that clearly yelled "bullshit!!!" I was being serious and I got taken for a fool and he said "you know what you are getting for Christmas!!!" Those words stung badly as I felt like I would never be taken seriously again and that I was being laughed and taken the piss out of. Believe me I was being 100% honest! I don't lie!!!
After that dads Started tossing presents around at me and his GF, so basically I got gifts thrown at me whilst dads GF was being impatient stating " come on then! What are you waiting for!? Next Christmas!?" At this point I was standing there outstanded in how rude they were being, it definatly taken the special little bit straight out of Christmas. I wish I never got up at all at this point! I knew Christmas was going to be different but seriously that was RUDE!
When unwrapping my presents, I was in a state of shock and sweating and trembling i unwrapped my presents unable to enjoy unwrapping them and savouring the moment, i was unable to appreciate the gifts I got as i felt like they were just been given to me to shut me up! Dads GF barely payed attention to my presents I got! It felt like she doesn't care or doesn't like me! I had to point them to her for her to pay attention to me! Once i got my head back together, i started to then appreciate what i just unwrapped 20 minutes earlier.
At Christmas dinner, nobody was horrible but what I noticed was that dads GFs grandaughter who was 3, she was quite toddler like, she was not yet potty trained, had a "dummy" and spoke babyish. She was quite clearly wearing a pull up under her dress, (no I was not being a pervert! She kept flashing herself!)
Whilst I had to change my tampon without crying out loud instead of having a loving "nappy chnage" I looked at myself in the mirror and saw an oversized freak! (I don't normally see myself as that but when I have been around a toddler, I start feeling like I am in the wrong body as I am usually in little space around toddlers) . Little step cusion got out her "dummy" I was feeling quite unappreciated and I wanted mine, one I didn't pack it and 2 nobody knows about and 3 the adults would react badly and that little girl who was trying to get weaned off her pacifier, her parents would go mad if she saw a adult sucking a "dummy" . I needed my paci! I was close to tears and I couldn't even act remotely childish but at least I could play with her but she sat down most of the time! Before I knew it and I started to play with her, it was time to go!
I had no diapers with me, but even changing a diapers myself in comparison to a tampon which hurt like hell would of been a lot nicer. At some point she had taken her pull up off, so I kinda saw her bits to put it politely, it put me off my food and here I was was knowing that under my clothes I had a wild bush of hair where there shouldn't! I was going to shave for Christmas but I lost my razor! I wanted a cuddle but only a hug could be acceptable if I thought about it so I was feeling a bit on edge and not forgetting I never been there before and there was people I never met before!
When I got back I was sitting in the back of the van with the dog since we only have a van, I was holding a plastic bag with presents in and dad opened the door and the before I could react the dog shot out of the van and me in little space didn't react fast enough and I got shouted at and I seemed like dad was in a bad mood and it totally wasn't my fault!!
After that I was having supper and all I could hear was swearing from both of them! I muttered "please stop swearing for gods sake!" Under my breath and I am not sure if I misheard but I heard dads GF say "bitch" I am not sure if she called me one but I am not sure if she likes me! It's a horrible accusation to come up with but recent events make me wonder! I am so scared that they can see what I am writing and that I have ruined their Christmas and they won't bother again. All I have been today is scared and anxious. I ma not sure if I am making a false accusation as it's how I interperate things. All I want is a cuddle and somebody to tell me it's gonna be alright! This is the most horrible thing I could of ever wrote on Christmas Day but I just can''t face them right now!
I nearly bawled out in the shower and I hoped to god nobody heard that.
It's how people treat me that hurts the most. Inside i am a gentle, playful and confident little girl but all my body shows is a quiet, reserved and emotionally pained woman!
But one nice thing that came out of it was the fact that dads girlfriends mother asked if brought toys with me and I had never met her before, she seemed to except me and treat me as if I was around 9 years old. That was nice and I enjoyed talking to her, I may of given a few hints to my real age like announcing I was going for a job in retail in the new year.
Starting from this morning, dad and his girlfriend got up and I said merry Christmas etc, I mentioned that I never slept a wink even though I tried to but I never fell asleep, dad turned around and said "fuck off!!!" In a tone of voice that clearly yelled "bullshit!!!" I was being serious and I got taken for a fool and he said "you know what you are getting for Christmas!!!" Those words stung badly as I felt like I would never be taken seriously again and that I was being laughed and taken the piss out of. Believe me I was being 100% honest! I don't lie!!!
After that dads Started tossing presents around at me and his GF, so basically I got gifts thrown at me whilst dads GF was being impatient stating " come on then! What are you waiting for!? Next Christmas!?" At this point I was standing there outstanded in how rude they were being, it definatly taken the special little bit straight out of Christmas. I wish I never got up at all at this point! I knew Christmas was going to be different but seriously that was RUDE!
When unwrapping my presents, I was in a state of shock and sweating and trembling i unwrapped my presents unable to enjoy unwrapping them and savouring the moment, i was unable to appreciate the gifts I got as i felt like they were just been given to me to shut me up! Dads GF barely payed attention to my presents I got! It felt like she doesn't care or doesn't like me! I had to point them to her for her to pay attention to me! Once i got my head back together, i started to then appreciate what i just unwrapped 20 minutes earlier.
At Christmas dinner, nobody was horrible but what I noticed was that dads GFs grandaughter who was 3, she was quite toddler like, she was not yet potty trained, had a "dummy" and spoke babyish. She was quite clearly wearing a pull up under her dress, (no I was not being a pervert! She kept flashing herself!)
Whilst I had to change my tampon without crying out loud instead of having a loving "nappy chnage" I looked at myself in the mirror and saw an oversized freak! (I don't normally see myself as that but when I have been around a toddler, I start feeling like I am in the wrong body as I am usually in little space around toddlers) . Little step cusion got out her "dummy" I was feeling quite unappreciated and I wanted mine, one I didn't pack it and 2 nobody knows about and 3 the adults would react badly and that little girl who was trying to get weaned off her pacifier, her parents would go mad if she saw a adult sucking a "dummy" . I needed my paci! I was close to tears and I couldn't even act remotely childish but at least I could play with her but she sat down most of the time! Before I knew it and I started to play with her, it was time to go!
I had no diapers with me, but even changing a diapers myself in comparison to a tampon which hurt like hell would of been a lot nicer. At some point she had taken her pull up off, so I kinda saw her bits to put it politely, it put me off my food and here I was was knowing that under my clothes I had a wild bush of hair where there shouldn't! I was going to shave for Christmas but I lost my razor! I wanted a cuddle but only a hug could be acceptable if I thought about it so I was feeling a bit on edge and not forgetting I never been there before and there was people I never met before!
When I got back I was sitting in the back of the van with the dog since we only have a van, I was holding a plastic bag with presents in and dad opened the door and the before I could react the dog shot out of the van and me in little space didn't react fast enough and I got shouted at and I seemed like dad was in a bad mood and it totally wasn't my fault!!
After that I was having supper and all I could hear was swearing from both of them! I muttered "please stop swearing for gods sake!" Under my breath and I am not sure if I misheard but I heard dads GF say "bitch" I am not sure if she called me one but I am not sure if she likes me! It's a horrible accusation to come up with but recent events make me wonder! I am so scared that they can see what I am writing and that I have ruined their Christmas and they won't bother again. All I have been today is scared and anxious. I ma not sure if I am making a false accusation as it's how I interperate things. All I want is a cuddle and somebody to tell me it's gonna be alright! This is the most horrible thing I could of ever wrote on Christmas Day but I just can''t face them right now!