Paddy2020 said:
I felt super sexed up all the time and had physical sickly feelings. I have kidney and bladder cancer, as well as, an enlarged prostate. The testosterone was making my prostate worse and I felt on edge all the time. All those sickly symptoms went away after my testicles were removed. Testosterone was not my friend after I turned 50 8 years ago
Not really the same situation. But similarities.
I do not know why, by my hormones have started going crazy over a decade ago, back then it was once or twice a year. testosterone would spike, libido would go through the roof and become unbearable for about two weeks, and then would drop down to nothing for another two weeks, before things went back to normal.
Being trans, testosterone made my dysphoria spike, and sometimes it got so bad, that suicide seemed like a good alternative.
Over the years this became more frequent, and the last 2-3 years before I started to transition, I was ping-ponging between the two states described earlier.
I practically begged my GP for chemical castration, just to get a clear head and think about it for a while.
I realized that testosterone has always felt horrible, and realized I must be trans. Starting on estradiol was an eye opener, it feels so much better than testosterone, like my brain was finally running on what it was meant to run on from the beginning.
I've decided to look into getting an orchiectomy, and got the surgery scheduled, because the waiting times for the surgery I really want are about 2 years, on top of the time needed to wait for the consult and then fighting my insurance to write me a letter stating that they will pay for the surgery. The orchiectomy is mainly because I cannot stand the idea of having those things anymore.
The idea that if I get into an accident and I'm in a coma for a couple of months, the doctor would be allowed to just take me off of my hormone treatment. The mere idea of waking up to having testosterone dominant in my body again is horrible, and I'd likely want to inflict a ton of pain to whoever decided to let that happen. Once those things are finally gone, doctors would be forced to continue my hormone therapy, because not doing so would get them into trouble. Also if they decided to substitute testosterone instead of estradiol, I'd have grounds for a huge malpractice case, because all my records say I'm female, so there is no excuse whatsoever.
I'd rather die than let testosterone ever become dominant in my body again.
