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I understand that! In my fourties when I melted down, my world came to an end. So many issues at once that I couldn't process them at all. It broke me. (not a value judgement, just a fact). Starting about 10 years later I started having nightmares every night trying to deal with the loss of my job of 28 years. The fear, joy, loss and the turning me out to pasture for being "crazy" caused so many conflicts that I couldn't process and resolve.Bunnybnuy said:I'm Autistic, and Have been diagnosed with anxiety and depression. I became an age regressor in middleschool at the height of the bad things happening both at home and school. Part of me is stuck in the house I grew up in, as well as the schools I went to. I keep dreaming about them. Sometimes for no reason i start feeling like i felt when I lived at my childhood home.
I hate it.
Much of my waking life found me thinking about these issues. It spilled over to my dreams. Bringing the turmoil to my sleep. I'd wake in the morning feeling and considering the unease the dreams created in me. A feeling of fear. This in turn spilled over to the dreams at night. Over and over and over.... All I could do after a while was try to bury it and ignore it. But it was always there, lurking. Like some ugly frightful thing., if I allowed my mind to even consider checking in on the issue, it grabbed hold of me for another round of the battle. I can't say I've fully resolved the issue. but that dream only visits me rarely now. The monster is so much less dangerous that it once was.
I lately recall the fable of Icarus. How he and his father escaped an island by building wings of feathers and wax. The father warned Icarus not to fly high. Too close to the sun, for the danger of melting his wings. Of course, Icarus flew too high. His father wept as Icarus plummeted to his death. The fable bothers me somewhat. When we crash, have we flown too high? It doesn't seem like it fits in this discussion. Yet it haunts me like my nightly visits from my "dream".