Talking to vanilla spouse about a paci?

srmousse

srmousse

Est. Contributor
Messages
403
Age
44
Role
  1. Diaper Lover
  2. Incontinent
Hi all, I'm curious if any of you have tried to talk to your significant other about getting a paci?

My wife doesn't like my diapers but prefers them largely over a wet bed. She has tolerated my move to printed diapers with no real reaction. A couple months ago when I was getting ready to purchase some new diapers, I stumbled upon the adult pacifiers and had a strange desire to get one... I've honestly never looked twice at them in the past. Then I saw a post where someone was talking about using a paci to cut down on snoring and was really interested. For the last couple weeks since then, I've found myself sucking my thumb a lot at night. Then, Saturday while cleaning our room, I found an old baby paci from our kids. My wife had craft night, so after I put the kids to bed, I cleaned it up and sucked on it for 3 hours while working on a puzzle! I loved it!... Though it was WAY too small!

So now, I'm seriously thinking to talk to her about getting one... This isn't something I could use regularly and still easily hide from her, so I'd rather just be honest and up front. The problem is, she is quite vanilla, so just saying, hey babe I'm gonna order an adult pacifier, would you like one too?... Would never work!!!

Do any of you with vanilla SO's have experience taking to them about a paci? How did it go? Good or bad, I'm hoping hearing from you all will help me figure this out!

I'm honestly interested in the exploring the snoring benefits... But I have yet to find any legit resource talking about it. Worse, any Google searches point straight to adisc, lol!

I appreciate any advice, stories, thoughts, etc.!
 
My spouse is fine with Diapers because it gets me in the mood for nursing which loves..but she has never been to keen on baby things when I have brought them up.
 
Awe man, I only got to nurse once, and only for about 5 minutes, I LOVED it so much!
 
Honestly, if she's a little timid on the subject of your ABness, I would just go ahead and order an adult paci and explain it to her after the fact, when it gets there. At the end of the day, you are an adult and as such, you should be able to enjoy what you want to, especially if its something as innocent and cute as an AB paci.

If you really want to get it out in the open that you are ordering one though, for transparency sake, I would just let her know in casual conversation. There seems to be a level of openness in your relationship regarding your diapers, so I'm sure that letting her know you were thinking of ordering an AB paci would go over fine in standard conversation, in fact, I doubt she would bat an eye at all :)

As far as dealing with a vanilla partner, I only had 2 partners in the past who I would call vanilla or uninitiated, one was fine with me engaging in AB time in private and the other actually became a Mommy to me after some time. Both of them were fine with my AB side coming up in conversation from time to time. Occasionally, I would run by them what I was going to order and sometimes, I wouldn't mention it at all. The response was usually the same, "Oh, that's nice" and then onto the next thing :D
 
Last edited:
Reply
  • Like
Reactions: psychonautalis
Paci just arrived! Still no conversation but I'm laying in bed with it right now! I feel very content sucking and chewing on it. :D I only wish it were a little bit larger. It's plenty wide, but apparently 2 inches long is not quite as big as I imagined it, lol!

I don't feel good about hiding something like this, so I'm gonna need to talk with her about it somehow. Is it unreasonable to try and put a medical spin on it? I mean I am a mouth breather when I sleep, and I do snore a lot... And honestly, the thought of not snoring did cross my mind, and the first exposure to the non snoring came from a commercial about the toung suction cup thing. But I also don't want to lie...
 
Hi, try talking to her about how you think it bothers her, the snoring ....and you are looking to try to fix it....It needs to be about her
 
You could always say its to help with teeth grinding / jaw clenching
 
It also helps me to not bite my nails--which would drive my wife crazy.
 
Thanks for the feedback! Still haven't worked out the guts on my end...
 
Interesting development... I was at the dentist getting a crown installed yesterday, and my dentist, completely unprevoked, asked me if I breath through my mouth while sleeping!? Well, yes I do, in fact, I snore a lot. He then asked if I woke up with bad breath issues (I was freshly brushed and mouthwashed, so he wasn't implying I currently had breath issues). Yes again, though I responded a little more hesitantly, lol. He said he could tell based on the condition of my gums in the back of my mouth. He then recommended trying a chin strap, mouth guard or tongue stabilizer. Said it might help me get a better night as a side effect too.

Serendipity?!

I mentioned what he said to my wife and told her I'd like to look into it... then tonight I ordered a tongue stabilizer, an anti snoring mouth guard AND a nuk medic pro large, directly on our shared Amazon account.

I feel like I'm taking the low road by combining this issue with my separate desire, and even more so after having already contemplating this route. The dentist was honestly, completely out of left field. At least it is going to give me a chance to be open about having and not try to hide the paci... I'm honestly hoping this might give me an opportunity to express my feelings about it.

Do you think I should have avoided trying to make this connection??? I could probably still cancel and delete the nuk order in the next hour or so... My feelings right now are super conflicted!
 
Updates. The mouth guard was a bust, it doesn't bring my jaw far enough forward to impact my snoring. I've yet to try the tongue suction cup thingy. My allergies have been too messed up to limit my mouth breathing completely... So last night and tonight, I've openly worn my paci!! I'm not sure she's really seen it yet, but it's been on my night stand in plain view, and I've kept it in my mouth all night! I'm honestly crazy excited that I slept the whole night with it starting in my mouth!!

The nuk pro large, turns out I basically hate it! It's too small and collapses way to easily. So I swapped it out for my black little for big paci immediately!

In the end, I'm still not 100% sure how she's going to respond, but it is in the open, so we'll see what happens from here.
 
Back
Top