I came out, and my mom blew up

So a couple things at play here, and I'm sorry but i'm sure it's probably not what you want to hear....


1. I will never understand how anyone would expect a normal reaction when telling people about AB. I think probably the best you can possibly expect is a neutral reaction. Positive ones are exceptionally rare.

2. If they're paying your bills, they hold all the cards and rightfully so. This is why getting a good job and finally getting to move out is such a big deal. It means you're not being supported anymore and you can finally spend your money how you want. If she's against you spending your money on diapers, she's going to be able to stop you by withholding the money that would have gone to pay for other things. (food and gas)

3. Her house, her rules. She has every right to control what goes on in her house. If you're an adult (and I assume you are being you're on this site) being allowed to stay in your parent's home is really a luxury when it comes to expenses. In exchange, you're trading away some of your liberties for the time being.


I know this is a hard couple of things to hear. By all means, I'm not trying to be discouraging. But living with your folks is a tough time for most folks for a reason.

@Foley

I couldn't agree more with everything you said. You hit the nail right on the head. When you're living with your parents and they're paying the bills and such, the gives them certain rights over you. Hard to hear, I know. That's why it's better to keep certain things on the down low. In a perfect world us AB's and DL's would be accepted for who and what we are. But let's face it, it's strange, weird, very unusual, and taboo. Normal people, or "Normies" as I call them, have a hard time understanding why a grown person would want to get into a diaper, dress like a baby, act like a baby and be treated as if they were a baby. To be completely honest with you, I can understand where they're coming from. I can understand the negativity that ensues after coming out to Normies. I'm not saying you shouldn't come out about your lifestyle, but you need to be careful choose the right people, right time, right environment, and things of that sort to talk about that part of your life.

For example, when my now soon-to-be wife and I started dating, I sat down with her and in private told her everything about me. I told her about my deep love for my plushies. I told her about me being a Furry and I also told her about me being an adult baby. Over a period of a few weeks, we looked at tons of sites related to AB stuff. We watched the videos that didn't view adult babies in a good light, and we also viewed the good ones. I showed her the more sexual side of infantilism and the innocent side of it too. I wanted her to get an idea of what being an AB is from all sides. Not just my perspective of it. I wanted to give her all the information, so she could form her own opinion about it, without my feelings being a factor. As I have said in previous posts, at first she was a bit hesitant. But, she has now completely accepted my AB lifestyle. And not only that, but she is now part of it and loves being my AB mommy.

I truly believe one of the things that helped was the fact that I chose good timing and I was completely honest with her. I truly believe that if I would have waited to tell her about it and tried to hide it, it would have been detrimental to our relationship. But I carefully chose a plan of attack.........so-to-speak.

Well do, Crinkles. You are smarter than the average bear.

Thanks BlueGrey.

Foley said:

So a couple things at play here, and I'm sorry but i'm sure it's probably not what you want to hear....


1. I will never understand how anyone would expect a normal reaction when telling people about AB. I think probably the best you can possibly expect is a neutral reaction. Positive ones are exceptionally rare.

2. If they're paying your bills, they hold all the cards and rightfully so. This is why getting a good job and finally getting to move out is such a big deal. It means you're not being supported anymore and you can finally spend your money how you want. If she's against you spending your money on diapers, she's going to be able to stop you by withholding the money that would have gone to pay for other things. (food and gas)

3. Her house, her rules. She has every right to control what goes on in her house. If you're an adult (and I assume you are being you're on this site) being allowed to stay in your parent's home is really a luxury when it comes to expenses. In exchange, you're trading away some of your liberties for the time being.


I know this is a hard couple of things to hear. By all means, I'm not trying to be discouraging. But living with your folks is a tough time for most folks for a reason.

Click to expand...

I agree with a lot of your points, but I think they cover only one side of the coin.

1.) Counting on a positive reaction would be expecting a lot and unless there's really a need or you feel really strongly about telling someone, you probably shouldn't. The OP didn't "directly" come out per se, all they really asked was that she didn't open the mail containing his or her ABDL related items which probably wasn't the best choice. Maybe it could have been handled better, but it was their mom that made an issue/ordeal out of it. It could have ended with their mom simply saying "Okay" or maybe she could have asked about it first (maybe she did, but there was nothing mentioned about it). If it's someone you know well and should be able to trust, then asking them to accept or at least tolerate it is pretty acceptable. I have no plans on telling my friends or family, but if I did I can count on them to still be there for me after and if they aren't, then it's a good thing I thinned out the people I can't count on.

2.) To put it simply, the bottom line to your second point is "YES". Money makes the world go round and if you're paying all your own bills then you get to decide how your funds are allocated. I'm not saying whether the OP should have used their money for their ABDLism or not. However, if she's against the OP spending his or her OWN money on diapers, she won't be able to stop that because if she did she would have to steal their money from them. If the OP spends their MOM's money on them, that's a little different which it sounds like may have happened during a certain instance before, but as long it's not a consistent thing and pretty much just that one instance then it shouldn't be a problem.

3.) When you get to the point in your life that own your own living place then you're definitely entitled to choose what goes on there. When I get my own place, I better have it my way so I totally understand what you're saying. With that said, this isn't just some adult rooming with someone. This is a person that she created. When I have kids I'll realize and accept that now a part of my life, no a huge portion of my life, will be living for them for as long as they're alive.

I don't totally disagree with you, I just feel there could some further embellishment.

TheCaptain said:

I agree with a lot of your points, but I think they cover only one side of the coin.

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1. I think you're idealizing people... Which is somewhat dangerous when giving people advice on how to deal with them.

Should the mother have made a big deal out of it? No. Was is 100% predictable, expected, typical behavior that she would and also entirely avoidable? Yes.

2. When you're living with your parents and they're paying all or most of your bills it's unfortunate but the simple truth is that you don't really have a money pool of your own. I've been there. Believe me I know it's horrible. You DO have every right to use your money and property how you see fit, but so do they. If they choose to withold money from you that never was yours so that you'll start spending your own money on bills instead of on diapers that's their right just as much as it is your right to spend your money how you like.

3. This isn't about what people should do. It's about what they predictably will do... Consistently. With only rare exception.

I remember when my grandmother and mother first saw the cloth diapers in the dryer. My grandmother asked me if I had prostrate problems, and I said no, I just liked wearing diapers.

My mother outright told me she didn't approve, but I quickly reminded her of all the loud nights of sex I heard her having. I told her that I didn't care if she liked what I did or not, because I wasn't wearing them for her. This was my thing and I was going to enjoy it.

I think she was impressed that I could stand my ground while also being polite and considerate. Even today (30 some years later), I will go to her house with cloth diapers and plastic pants on and wet in it. I don't say anything about it, she doesn't say anything about it, and life goes on.

Learn who you are, be happy with yourself, and let everybody else be who they are, even if they disagree with you.