Need some advice

Im still trying to accept myself and i know the key to happiness is acceptance but recently i started to have repulsive thoughts about quitting wearing diapers, i have been though the binge/purge cycle many many times and i know i cannot quit being a DL as the feeling come back stronger wanting to wear diapers.

This is very confusing to me as i keep on bouncing back and forth the ups and downs of being a DL , wanting to quit at moments and sometimes embracing this part of me , its like a really really bad roller coaster ride .

Anyone have any advice to how to cope with these kinds of feelings or at least even out the ups and downs.

1. if you can do what you want to do without hurting others, do it.

2. you don't have to live up to anyone's standards but your own. don't let others tell you how to live your life if that's not how you want to live it.

For me, moving towards wearing more often actually helped... it takes away the intense highs and lows of it, to an extent.

Sgdlboy said:

Im still trying to accept myself and i know the key to happiness is acceptance but recently i started to have repulsive thoughts about quitting wearing diapers, i have been though the binge/purge cycle many many times and i know i cannot quit being a DL as the feeling come back stronger wanting to wear diapers.

This is very confusing to me as i keep on bouncing back and forth the ups and downs of being a DL , wanting to quit at moments and sometimes embracing this part of me , its like a really really bad roller coaster ride .

Anyone have any advice to how to cope with these kinds of feelings or at least even out the ups and downs.

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First, force yourself to wear a diaper every now and again, especially when you don't want to. This will effectively head off the next binge, or at least reduce it's severity.

Second, stop wearing a diaper when you'vealready been wearing one for a while, even when you want to keep indulging. This will head off the purge, or its intensity as well.

Third, if you find yourself in the middle of a binge or a purge you have to do the exact opposite from that momemt. Diapers feeling overwhelmingly great, stop wearing them immediately. Feeling remorse or hatred for loving diapers, put one one anyways.

Doing all of these will help smooth out the binge-purge cycle. Eventually you will reach a happy medium and know when to wear or not, without that horrible cycle.

First of all, I assume your Purge and Binge Cycle is initiated by getting off in a diaper. Those feelings at least for me started after i would already get off.
I don't know of your circumstances, I could be wrong, but specifically for me, earlier in my life, like 9 years ago when I first wore diapers I would get SUPER Excited to be in them.
I would get off and Immediately wanna take it off, and pretty much not wear it until i crave it again. But thats the thing I wanted to wear diapers longer, but as soon as I got off, Bam I wanna take it off.
These days, It like second nature to wear a diaper, and I don't get as excited each time. Even after getting off I still sometimes wear for a bit longer.

So here it is, I don't know the Context of your Binge Purge cycle, you gave no actual Info WHY your purge happens and after what moment,
but if I assumed correctly, You will get over it naturally, just do what you do, don't pressure yourself, Enjoy when you enjoy them, later as you continue wearing them it wont bother you to wear it. Its a subconscious stigma that nobody your age should wear diapers anymore, at least i know this specific stigma played a little bit of that part in my Purge cycles.

If You can Elaborate on your feelings maybe I can assist in a meaningful way

I think we all have feelings like this at some point. I felt a ton of shame for years. I actually used to imagine other people in diapers, but not me. It took me until the age of 34 to realize and accept that I like to wear diapers. When I said it aloud, it felt crazy, but it was also relieving. Lets face it, it is way outside the accepted norm. I thought of it this way, if you were on your deathbed, and looked back at your life, what would you regret, not wearing and living up to everybody else's expectations, or not doing something that brought you joy and hurt no one? In other words, how do you live a life thats true to who you actually are? Not living a life true to oneself is a top regret later in life. I feel a lot better about it these days. Those that truly love you will always love you, no matter what.

Believe me, I know it's a struggle! I hope this helps!

RG

Sent from my LG-H873 using Tapatalk

Sgdlboy said:

Im still trying to accept myself and i know the key to happiness is acceptance but recently i started to have repulsive thoughts about quitting wearing diapers, i have been though the binge/purge cycle many many times and i know i cannot quit being a DL as the feeling come back stronger wanting to wear diapers.

This is very confusing to me as i keep on bouncing back and forth the ups and downs of being a DL , wanting to quit at moments and sometimes embracing this part of me , its like a really really bad roller coaster ride .

Anyone have any advice to how to cope with these kinds of feelings or at least even out the ups and downs.

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I feel you. I've felt maybe I should stop being an AB/DL, But then I think people can deal with it. If this is who you truly are, then there is no reason to fully embrace it. It's what I have learned to do.

I think the concept of "self acceptance" is too vague to be something most people could easily accomplish in a single step. It might help to break it down into smaller steps. I suggest the following sequence:

1. We all know this strange attraction we have is very strong. Do you think it is somehow your fault for having it? I hope not, but it's possible somewhere in your psyche you haven't completely eliminated that possibility.

2. If you accept that it isn't your fault for having it, you may feel at fault for not trying hard enough to overcome it. If you feel this way, even a little bit, it would help to do further research to see if it is reasonable to believe a 'cure' is possible. I don't believe it is. You do have some control over your feelings, but I don't believe even the saints have complete control all the time.

3. At this point you accept that it is strong, not your fault, and beyond anyone's ability to make it permanently go away. So you have something, through no fault of your own, that most people in the world have very negative feelings about. I see this as reality, and it makes no sense to me to deny reality. In other words, the only logical thing at this point is to accept that reality. It's not a pleasant reality but don't waste time blaming yourself or anyone else for this situation; and make up your mind not to waste time sulking about. Just accept it.

4. You do have control over your behavior. This is where it gets complicated. We can't pretend indulging in this behavior never hurts anyone emotionally. It does and we know it. From this point on it gets more personal and difficult, and I don't have any more pat answers because everyone's situation is different. If what I've said up to this point makes sense to you, and you accept the first 3 points, we can continue if you want to.

One other thing to consider, I've spoken with my psychologist at length about this, and most of the studies she has found (although still somewhat lacking in my opinion) have shown, that for many people, not accepting this part of themselves, or choosing to suppress it, can lead to other unhealthy, or more self damaging behaviors to present themselves at some point.

It's definitely not easy to deal with. At times I've felt that I loved diapers, but I hated the fact that I did love diapers. I think it has gotten much easier over time, but I sure do empathize with people. I know the difficulty of being this way and being unable to change it, and the feelings we can have about this part of us. But I think at the end of the day, we have to accept and love ourselves.

You're not alone in this, that's for sure.

RG

Sent from my LG-H873 using Tapatalk

Thanks to all who took the time to respond , what all of you said makes sense and very true , when i wear diapers i would get super excited and sometimes after i ermm ... masturbate i totally wanted to be rid of it and not want to wear it ever. which is never the case as the feelings starts to creep back after but even at times when im not getting off in a diaper i still have the same guilt and shame of me wearing diapers sometimes and at other times i try to accept wearing telling myself the same thing over and over that im not harming anyone by wearing diapers , then deep down i feel i shouldn't be doing this, its always conflicting feelings.

I have tried straight out suppressing these feelings and quitting , for some time i had gone without wearing diapers but i felt miserable , everytime i pass by anything diaper related the feelings hit me , be it like shopping passing by the diaper aisle or even tv diaper commercial , i try to distract myself initially but its useless , slowly but surely the feelings of wanting to wear came back to me. i can fairly say for sure suppressing the feelings hurt me mentally. I am happy wearing diapers but then the guilt will make me think otherwise.

ChocChip said:

For me, moving towards wearing more often actually helped... it takes away the intense highs and lows of it, to an extent.

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I don’t want to agree with this, but I sort of do.

Through my teens and early 20s, I would go on that exact rollercoaster ride; at the end of the day, whether I wanted to or not, it was still part of me.

The combination of the following have gotten me to my current place of, not just acceptance, but sort of proud to be myself:

— wearing more; I still don’t wear a lot though. Maybe twice a week. But it’s become sort of rhythmic and enjoyable, and I wear for longer than just overnight.

— getting onto other social platforms, like Instagram, where I’ve found the ABDL and littlespace community to be quite supportive; posting myself has given me confidence.

— sharing with others, and I mean “vanilla” friends. But I do not recommend this until you’ve actually thought about *who* you’re telling, and *how* you will tell them — talk to one of us that had done it before. That is so important; the people I’ve told have been understanding to varying degrees, but understanding nonetheless. I put that down to how I told them; made them realise it’s a big deal to me; it’s embarassing for me; etc.

— I met a few local ABDLs and littles. Only after taking a good bit of time to get to know them, and be sure we were after the same thing, and had the same sort of interests. It made me feel less isolated, but you’ve got to be careful if you’re doing this.
Since meeting others, I’ve done things I wouldn’t have dared do years ago, like go out padded in public. Like I said, it’s been a confidence builder.

D. xx

I started 24/7 almost a year ago and love myself all the better for it. It caused any binge and purge to stop of course and it opened up a new reality of being more open to an extent about it. I told my brother and it went super well. I found I like to sort of "out" myself in certain situations for example I now enjoy purchasing my diapers from classifieds and meeting these sellers face to face after mentioning over the phone that these are in fact for me. Lots more to life than being stuck in a rough cycle involving binge/purge and now no matter what I just always put that diaper on day and night. I actually don't even own traditional underwear anymore.

Sgdlboy said:

I am happy wearing diapers but then the guilt will make me think otherwise.

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Maybe this feeling of guilt is inappropriate. What are you guilty of?

Sgdlboy said:

Im still trying to accept myself and i know the key to happiness is acceptance but recently i started to have repulsive thoughts about quitting wearing diapers, i have been though the binge/purge cycle many many times and i know i cannot quit being a DL as the feeling come back stronger wanting to wear diapers.

This is very confusing to me as i keep on bouncing back and forth the ups and downs of being a DL , wanting to quit at moments and sometimes embracing this part of me , its like a really really bad roller coaster ride .

Anyone have any advice to how to cope with these kinds of feelings or at least even out the ups and downs.

Click to expand...

I didn't have super low lows on my road to acceptance, but when I did start having doubts, I knew what I had to do:

I dove straight in.

In my case, diving straight in meant going to full on cloth — I knew about purge cycles and I reasoned that you couldn't purge cloth. And cloth turned out to be my favorite thing.

Get your favorite things. The ones that you feel the best in. Enjoy them and flip off the feeling that says you shouldn't be doing it — it feels good, and you're not hurting anyone, after all.

When you feel a purge coming on, remind yourself that you deserve to feel good, and that this is something that hurts no one, and in fact helps you feel good. Pop on to talk with us again if you have to.

Drifter said:

Maybe this feeling of guilt is inappropriate. What are you guilty of?

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well sometimes i think why am i like this and all, about my friends not being weird like me in this fetish . Its always like what am i doing wearing diapers and what a stupid thing i am doing , its not like i choose to want to be a DL , then i would think about like my friends being perfectly normal but here i am wearing diapers. Again its the usual back and forth hating it then liking it , its ironic really sometimes i hate myself for liking to wear diapers , i really tried to stop wearing completely but i couldn't , i tried to accept myself and it helps a little then slowly the conflicting feelings starts to emerge and i start to hate myself for wanting to wear which eventually leads to indulging and the cycle continues. Its like half of me thinks its allright to wear and the other half thinks its wrong and tries to be normal.

Sgdlboy said:

well sometimes i think why am i like this and all, about my friends not being weird like me in this fetish . Its always like what am i doing wearing diapers and what a stupid thing i am doing , its not like i choose to want to be a DL , then i would think about like my friends being perfectly normal but here i am wearing diapers. Again its the usual back and forth hating it then liking it , its ironic really sometimes i hate myself for liking to wear diapers , i really tried to stop wearing completely but i couldn't , i tried to accept myself and it helps a little then slowly the conflicting feelings starts to emerge and i start to hate myself for wanting to wear which eventually leads to indulging and the cycle continues. Its like half of me thinks its allright to wear and the other half thinks its wrong and tries to be normal.

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Yup, your feeling of guilt are inappropriate. You are falling for the misconceptions and misjudgement that society has placed on us for loving diapers. You have to stop caring what others think, and realize wearing diapers is neither illegal nor immoral.

Yeah, I get that. To be honest, I can't claim to be completely beyond feelings of shame and guilt myself. It helped when I found a pretty solid explanation for the cause of these desires - imprinting, but that wasn't a cure-all. Because of our moral upbringing it's normal to feel some slight guilt when engaging in any pleasurable, self-indulgent behavior. That guilt is greatly amplified with the knowledge that our particular behavior would cause people, including ourselves, to be greatly disturbed if we were caught in the act. This naturally makes us feel that we are doing something morally wrong, and it takes some mental gymnastics to get over that feeling.

These conflicting feelings between desire and moralistic belief may or may not go away in time. Try not to dwell on these feelings for too long. Part of acceptance means accepting the fact that these conflicting feelings may continue to come and go. It doesn't mean you can magically make them disappear forever. What I believe is important, though, is to catch yourself when you first start falling into self hatred, and try to nip that in the bud. You know it's not your fault. Indulging in self hatred feeds those conflicting feelings and makes them grow, and it also feeds on itself, making itself stronger if you don't squash it quickly with a dose of reality every time it pops up. And the reality is you are not to blame for having these desires and they really are not overly important in the grand scheme of things.

Hope this helps. Whatever advice I dole out is usually advice I am working on for myself, so take it with a grain of salt.

for the longest time i was a DL conflicted with shame and guilt thanks to some horrible parents i had. Trust me when i say this. The guilt and shame is unwarranted, think about it. As long as you are not going out in public pooping youself and being a nuisance you are bringing no harm to anyone.now im not saying dont wear in public im just saying be respectful of others. If they catch you indulging (or in my case regressing) its their fualt. you were in your private space and they intruded. Why do you care what those disrespectful meanies think of you? I'll leave you with that.

I know... so weird. I want to own my own bussiness and be my own boss but at the end of the day, I just want to wear a diaper and be carefree... lol