I'm not ABDL, just IC, but really I don't get what the problem is here. If you like wearing diapers and want to do it then just do it. I don't get why it's such and obsessive mental crisis for you.
Having to wear 24/7 out of necessity I've learned a few things: 1) no one notices - it's MUCH harder for people to tell than you think 2) If they do notice, they don't say anything. 3) the most common way someone would find out is if they hear you changing in a public restroom. 4) Anyone who finds out is most likely going to assume you have a medical problem......With point #4 it's up to you if you want to lie and let people think that. I personally think the reason anyone wears diapers is no one's business but the wearer, so I see no major moral problem with that lie. Just depends on how absolute your adherence to honesty is.
I wear pretty thin diapers during the day (northshore supreme lites) but on some occaisions when I know I'm out of the house for an extended period of time, or getting on a long flight etc I'll wear a BetterDry or Abena L4 with a Abena Maxi booster and I go out not caring. A setup that thick might actaully be noticeable and I still don't care (around strangers, I never go that thick around coworkers or friends).