BabyJacob98 said:
That's exactly what I am asking myself ALL the time. Sooooo difficult to answer. I know we all are different and we can't be measured by the same ruler. I know that there is not a deffinition of a normal adulthood. However I'm worried it may prevent me from something, from some kind of a milestone in the future. I want to say: through our journey, we earn experience...abilities...skills...people. so to say- I will never experience 'something' because I'm AB-I will never be the best version of me. What if... the future holds something much better, if I had not been AB? Can this be considered as a weakness, therefore an unhealthy attribute of my personality. Or can it be seen as a rock sticked to my leg which slowes me down. What if I get hurt in the long run from momental indulging in AB lifestyle.
What the hell?! Does it make sense? I'm confused.
Seems like I should be able to offer some answers to your questions. Being confused myself I have plenty of experience with the phenomenon.
Actually there is a pretty good, practical, definition of "normal adulthood" but it is more intuitive than technical so it can't be put into words that everyone would agree with. "Normal" is a useful cultural convention and whatever your interpretation of that word is it is probably just fine.
It's true that if you spend a massive amount of time in a self induced infantile state you may miss out on hunting grizzlies in the Rockies, but that could be true of any activity you might engage in. You'll drive yourself crazy if you spend too much time dwelling on the thought "Gee, if I hadn't been doing this I could have been doing that". I could be wrong but I detect a sense of guilt in what you are saying. That's normal. One of society's main jobs is to make us feel guilty and it does that pretty effectively.
I'm going to jump to a conclusion here and say there are two levels to your questions: Practical and Spiritual.
On the practical side you are aware of expectations being imposed on you by society and also by your own feelings. You will make practical decisions on a daily basis and sometimes you will be troubled by the decisions you make. When you are troubled try to figure out if relief requires a change in attitude or a change in behavior. Go with your gut feeling and don't worry if you made the 'best' choice. Keep in mind that nothing is permanent and that life is a matter of trial and error. If you're not making mistakes you are doing something wrong.
(I love these silly, philosophical, contradictions)
The practical side makes you want to meet self imposed and social obligations. You want to be self supporting to the best of your ability, within reason of course, and you also want to contribute to your relationships and to society in general. As a DL you enjoy wearing diapers, so enjoy it within the limits you set for yourself. As an AB embrace and enjoy the B when it surfaces, but do the same for the A. There is nothing wrong with being practical. The greatest spiritual leaders of all time still had to eat, sleep, piss, and shit. (and enjoy a beer now and then, and maybe even a paid 'romance')
I can't give you any real advice on the spiritual side of your quest because I have not become enlightened myself. I'm trying but I'm struggling with laziness. To me, your concern that you may not be "the best version of me" definitely goes beyond mere practical considerations and enters the realm of existential or spiritual wonder. Philosophy and religion deal with this matter but my advice here is - explore these things but don't take philosophical or religious words as an answer. This is based on my personal belief that you will never find the answer in words because, in some way, you
are the answer.