Bit of guidance?

[JunkyardDog1]

So I admitted to my gf a few months ago of my dl status. She seemed to accept it, but I know she doesn't get it and still seems a bit weirded out. Which is fine. But I've been confident enough to wear nightly and more recently all weekend if I can. Im still discreet around her aside of actually sleeping, which is when I'm in nothing but a diaper until I wake up. (I eased in by wearing boxer briefs over or having sweats on til I came into bed.) Here's my dilemma: I got some "onesies" that are plain and simple as I liked, and I figured those would make me feel better and possibly her a bit more comfortable. But now I'm considering how they may come off more baby ish? Should I rip the band aid and just come to bed as such, or have the convo like I did before when I admitted my diaper enjoyment to her?

 

[CptKirk]

Look, you're pushing WAY TOO HARD, ESPECIALLY if she is not part of the discussion. I would do NONE of what you have been doing without an OK from her. You stand a real high chance of weirding her out, pushing her away until she eventually leaves and possibly tells everyone else about how "weird" you were!

Communication is everything in good relationship and you seem to be avoiding it out of fear of not getting the answer that YOU want. WHAT ABOUT HER!?

When my wife and I were dating she was well aware of my fascination of wearing and using diapers but still, she was spoken to about everything before I ever considered wearing with her there. Sure I wish I could have done more with her, but don't be GREEDY! My GF/WIFE was perfectly OK with my wearing OCCASIONALLY, when we were alone and we had sex with me wearing thousands of times. Some of the rules I never pushed were no messing with here around, no trying to force her to wear (she did, but she volunteered the very few times she did so), NEVER wearing when we were going anywhere outside of going for a hike or going fishing with just the two of us.

You need to sit down and frankly discuss this and BE HONEST! How can you know what she might say or do without doing this? To just do what you have been doing without input from her is playing with fire and if not careful, you're likely to get burned!!!. I know these discussions are difficult and I realize she might be 100% opposed to you wearing at all but IF you insist on diapers being a part of who you are, you're doing both of you a favor learning this now so she can find who she is looking for and you can find someone more open to what you're doing. Just be aware that the majority of women are NOT going to look kindly upon this activity as it is badly misunderstood and being you already have someone who is at least slightly open to you wearing, be satisfied and not greedy! So what if you can't wear to bed. So what if you have to wear when she is not around. Not ideal (in your mind) but far better than one who goes around telling everyone she meets about how her boyfriend likes to wear/use diapers, onesies, act like a baby etc.

This is of course just my opinion, but I feel this is accurate and wise advice.

CptKirk

 

[JunkyardDog1]

Look, you're pushing WAY TOO HARD, ESPECIALLY if she is not part of the discussion. I would do NONE of what you have been doing without an OK from her. You stand a real high chance of weirding her out, pushing her away until she eventually leaves and possibly tells everyone else about how "weird" you were!

Communication is everything in good relationship and you seem to be avoiding it out of fear of not getting the answer that YOU want. WHAT ABOUT HER!?

When my wife and I were dating she was well aware of my fascination of wearing and using diapers but still, she was spoken to about everything before I ever considered wearing with her there. Sure I wish I could have done more with her, but don't be GREEDY! My GF/WIFE was perfectly OK with my wearing OCCASIONALLY, when we were alone and we had sex with me wearing thousands of times. Some of the rules I never pushed were no messing with here around, no trying to force her to wear (she did, but she volunteered the very few times she did so), NEVER wearing when we were going anywhere outside of going for a hike or going fishing with just the two of us.

You need to sit down and frankly discuss this and BE HONEST! How can you know what she might say or do without doing this? To just do what you have been doing without input from her is playing with fire and if not careful, you're likely to get burned!!!. I know these discussions are difficult and I realize she might be 100% opposed to you wearing at all but IF you insist on diapers being a part of who you are, you're doing both of you a favor learning this now so she can find who she is looking for and you can find someone more open to what you're doing. Just be aware that the majority of women are NOT going to look kindly upon this activity as it is badly misunderstood and being you already have someone who is at least slightly open to you wearing, be satisfied and not greedy! So what if you can't wear to bed. So what if you have to wear when she is not around. Not ideal (in your mind) but far better than one who goes around telling everyone she meets about how her boyfriend likes to wear/use diapers, onesies, act like a baby etc.

This is of course just my opinion, but I feel this is accurate and wise advice.

CptKirk

Damn that was good lol

 

[CptKirk]

If you need someone to talk to about this, let me know. I'd be willing to PM you my number

 

[JunkyardDog1]

I have to say, I agree with your advice. But I also have to admit that if I didn't trust her, id have hidden this as long as possible. And I truly belive that if I cross a line she isn't comfortable with, she would say something to me. She was blown away with how concerned I was telling her in the first place. Her words were "thats it? I thought this was going to be so much worse because you seemed nervous." So I feel I'm on uneven terrain is all. And I'm trying to garner firsthand experience and it seems I'm getting it lol

 

[foxkits]

I second that. A lot of those on here have scared there girl friends away.
Yes she lets you wear in front of her so they start to go overboard.
This is a very slow process.
You have to respect her as much she does you. You must do a lot of special things for her too.
Slow down ok a relationship is 50/50 commutation is the key and listening to her and her feelings.
I know you have things you want.
To do other wise makes you alone.

 

[messydiaper]

Long term girlfriends are prospective wives/partners. So each move you make with diapers is being evaluated by the question, "Okay, so he likes diapers. Will that interfere with his ability to be a long-term partner, father of my children, etc?" Furthermore, questions like, "Okay, if I marry this guy, am I committing to a lifetime of sex that only involves him wearing a diaper?"

So on one hand, it is your job to expose your kink so she knows you. On the other hand, it's your job through your actions to show that you are a trustworthy life-partner.

This is not easy to navigate! Best wishes to you!

 

[stinkape]

I’m with Kirk on this one , you better give her a little time , women will often say what they think you want but inside it can really bother them especially if they feel pressured and pushed .

 

[JunkyardDog1]

I second that. A lot of those on here have scared there girl friends away.
Yes she lets you wear in front of her so they start to go overboard.
This is a very slow process.
You have to respect her as much she does you. You must do a lot of special things for her too.
Slow down ok a relationship is 50/50 commutation is the key and listening to her and her feelings.
I know you have things you want.
To do other wise makes you alone.

I have noticed more acceptance lately as she will pat my butt if she notices (under clothes) or in bed she will get curious and run the outside of my diaper once in a while. Seems her favorite thing now is to shove her freezing feet against my dipaered butt to warm them without concern. So I know she is aware and seemingly ok. Its just making the next step. Or at least talking about where we are.

 

[foxkits]

Lots of special things.
Hiding notes how special she is.
It's the little things. Just go slow.

 

[dogboy]

It sounds like she is likely to be accepting but I too agree with CptKirk that communication is key. Sometimes we say we're okay with something in the hopes that it will pass, but we aren't okay. It took my wife a while to accept things beyond diapers but she got there, but I took my time over a period of several years. Eventually she was buying me onesies and footed sleepers, etc. Seeing your SO as a baby is a lot to take in and accept, so go slowly and definitely talk about it.

 

[eastcoastdl24]

When i first told my girlfriend (now wife) about my liking for diapers she thought it would be much worse. A few days after telling her we sat down and had a talk about it. She was very open to it but set down some ground rules. As long as i followed the ground rules it wouldn’t be an issue. I have followed all of her rules and we have been just fine. Now she is more surprised when i am not diapered up at home than when I am. Her only wish was that I told her sooner because it gave her the impression that I couldn’t trust her with very personal things. So just coming out to her about it has helped increase our communication which is key to any relationship.

 

[sbmccue]

Ask her about everything, and do something for her as well. How long since you've sent her flowers or a card?

Make diapers mean something positive for her as well. Let her know how much you love and appreciate her accepting attitude. While she may never want to diaper you, change you or wear herself, the fact that you wear to a diaper (and a onesie, at some point) to bed will seem negligible if you show genuine gratitude on your part.

 

[safaridaze]

I have noticed more acceptance lately as she will pat my butt if she notices (under clothes) or in bed she will get curious and run the outside of my diaper once in a while. Seems her favorite thing now is to shove her freezing feet against my dipaered butt to warm them without concern. So I know she is aware and seemingly ok. Its just making the next step. Or at least talking about where we are.

Hey man. I agree with all the feedback you got her. Honestly, it sounds like you are lucky and she is excepting. It even sounds like she would be fine with your new PJ's. But lets be honest. We hear what you have to say. Not what she has to say and how she feels.

You are a bit arrogant and self centered if you think you should just do as you please here and assume acceptance because she pat you on the rump. If your assumptions here are accurate, you are a conversation away from wearing your PJ's. But seriously, what do you have to lose by laying down with her at night and just saying, hey girl. I have been in these alot lately, I am concerned I may have went too far. I want to know how your are feeling so we can work thru this together. I mean, by the sounds of your position here. She is gonna say, " Dear it is fine. Do what you like, I love you regardless of a diaper or a thong". Then you can simply ask if PJ's are fine too. But..... She may say, "I really miss some nights when I can hold you with out a diaper, can we find a more balanced solution. You do not want to be pushing PJ's on her if that is how she feels!

I agree with Kirk - running on the assumption you know her feelings is like playing with fire. Babies should never do that.... Or electric outlets!

 

[AVictoryPointe]

I think it’s worth having a candid and open discussion around diapers and the kink, what you truly want, and deeply include your desire for her wishes and happiness as well.

“Hey. I’ve been wearing more. I notice some playful butt pats, but I wanted to check in with you. How have you felt about me wearing?” And then let her talk and you listen. It can be hard to be forward and upfront, but I think it’s a great quality for a partner. It shows more confidence in the relationship, more understanding and care to hear her thoughts, and more humility and self restraint if maybe the answer isn’t your ideal. Honest, direct communication is so vital to successful relationships. The same goes for empathizing with your partner, because you hope they do the same for you. You have to model the behavior you want to see in the world.

After you talk, then ask about your ideas and desires. “I have some onesies. They are pretty baby in style. Would you be okay with us looking at them together and maybe you can give me your opinion on them?” And that’s based on a positive reception from the first conversation. Otherwise, I would hold off, listen to your partner, and look for compromise. She can’t expect you to remove this from your life, and likewise, she has free will to say, “Hey, I need to slow down and process.”

One thing my wife tells me is that, for her, my vulnerability is sexy. She knows how embarrassing this kink is, especially on the AB clothing side. It’s part of our fun. But it’s also part of our love that she sees a very special and unique version of me, and really, only she does. It’s a very, very honest “me”, in a sense.

I revealed my kink directly and honestly to her after we dated for a few months, and we’ve been married for over a decade. I felt okay with revealing it because she was an open hearted, accepting, and adventurous person. I thought those qualities would align with myself and someone from outside the kink wanting to learn and explore. Luckily, I was right. She’s the best part of my life, but we got here through very real honesty, good conversations and hard conversations.

So yeah, talk with your partner. Care about them. And they’ll care about you. Be upfront, candid, and vulnerable. Things may not always work out, but I think it’s a recipe for success.

 

[JunkyardDog1]

I appreciate the advice and feedback. This is very new to me and I'm still adjusting to how I feel about it as well. So as vulnerable as it makes me, I should suspect it probably does her as well. Ill open the line of communication further and make sure we're definitely on the same page, or at least in the same book lol.

 

[safaridaze]

I appreciate the advice and feedback. This is very new to me and I'm still adjusting to how I feel about it as well. So as vulnerable as it makes me, I should suspect it probably does her as well. Ill open the line of communication further and make sure we're definitely on the same page, or at least in the same book lol.

AWSOME - Let us know how it goes. You are months in front of me. I just told my Girl a week ago. But for now it is still something I do alone.