Curiosity thread- just how “accepted” is the wearing of night time protection for bed wetters these days?

[PCS]

I’ve mentioned before that when I was growing up in the late 80s and early 90s before Pull-Ups and DryNites were available, I had a perception that nappies were not worn beyond the age of 3.

I knew that some of my friends wet the bed due to the telltale wee smell in the bedroom and the plastic or rubber mattress protectors.

There was a friend whose older brother wet the bed. His bed was protected by a 3 layer arrangement of rubber sheet, fleece blanket and terry top sheet.

Although I occasionally found nappies that I later suspected were worn for bed wetting by some, no-one ever admitted wearing them (though some admitted being bedwetters when asked).

Now that DryNites have been with us for so long, I would be interested to know whether those of you who have young bed wetting relatives are aware of whether their wearing what is essentially a nappy at night is now just “accepted”, or whether their parents still stick to the “nappies are for babies” line and protect the mattress in some other way?

Caveat- I’m not fishing for anecdotes about your nine year old bed wetting cousin- I’m interested in what the family attitudes are to managing the situation.

I ask as my partner has two friends with children with directly opposing views:

One had her kid sleeping on DryNites bed mat at two in the hope it would get the kid dry at night (being dry in the day already) and another had a kid who would happily wander around in a t-shirt and a DryNite pant at 6/7 even when there were visitors.

Back in the early 90s I suspect my parents views would have been against it had the issue really been discussed or needed.

My sister had an isolated bedwetting incident when she was about 4 or 5 (she literally only wet the bed a handful of times after night training) and the next day I was at the Sainsbury’s supermarket with her and my mother.

I slipped a pack of Peaudouce Up and Go for girls into the trolly, in the hope that my mother would think last night’s bed wetting justified her wearing them, and that I could get my hands on some that way.

My mother put them back, and when I suggested that my sister needed them, she gave a firm “no- they might make her lazy”.

I don’t remember what my sister thought!

I suspect that the “laziness” belief towards bed wetting was common at the time..?

 

[KaleidoscopeKitty]

The norm among my parent friends (most of whom are in their 30s so 80s/ 90s kids)
seems to have be ento keep their children in night nappies or pull-ups until they were reliably dry at night, for most of the kids that has meant they’ve stayed in overnight protection after being potty trained by day. As far as I know they’ve all been night trained by about 7 (although obviously I don’t know for sure as it’s not something I would usually discuss or know about if I wasn’t babysitting or staying with the family) but I don’t think any of my friends with kids would think anything odd about a child who was still regularly wetting the bed being in drynites.

I do think that pull-up styles such as drynites are viewed differently to a taped-nappy and seen as more appropriate for a child than a nappy. I think that an older child with no SEN who was bedwetting and still being put in taped-nappies by a parent, rather than managing pull-ups themselves, would be seen as odd but otherwise I think it would be seen as more unusual to have a child wetting the bed more nights than they were dry and not to have them in any sort of protection.

 

[Deleted member 40705]

This is applicable for around 2005-20One of my friends, lets call him “J” was a bedwetter until he was at least 13 and I vividly remember seeing a stack of purple Molicare Super Plus on top of his chest of drawers alongside his Pyjamas - he had a fairly tough upbringing which probably contributed to his wetting and his single mum was pretty brutal on him about it. She equally encouraged the use of nappies as it ultimately resulted in less stress for everyone. I slept over multiple times and distinctly remember his mum referencing his nappies and also his apparent willingness to use them for their intended purpose, especially in the mornings....there’s something very weird lying in bed at a sleepover and hearing the crackling of a nappy being filled in close proximity!

 

[Fullpants]

Why does it need to be accepted. It’s something you wear to sleep unless you are an exobitionist no will know if have to accept it.

 

[Sgdlboy]

Well growing up as a bedwetter my mom thought it would be much easier if i wear diapers to bed , i was in a way " encouraged " to wear diapers since less washing of sheets etc . I was potty trained very late imo at about 5 years old and yes i wore diapers 24/7 till i was 5 , i was difficult to potty train according to my mom . Eventually after i was potty trained during the day i began to wet at night , this continued till i was 16 and diapers are the solution .

My mom didn't just accept it , its more like half of it why are you still bedwetting like a kid and the other half is like just wear diapers it will save us the trouble of washing sheets and save on water and electricity plus less washing of sheets lol

 

[CookieMonstah]

I don't think any parent nowadays wants to deal with wet bed sheets and would use nappies or pull-ups as a way more convenient method. Especially how nowadays everything is so fast paced and people are working longer, both parents included, and not having time to do that.I certainly would as a parent.

I wouldn't use the phrase "nappies are for babies" because there are older children who sometimes wear them and adults too.

 

[PCS]

I don't think any parent nowadays wants to deal with wet bed sheets and would use nappies or pull-ups as a way more convenient method. Especially how nowadays everything is so fast paced and people are working longer, both parents included, and not having time to do that.I certainly would as a parent.

I wouldn't use the phrase "nappies are for babies" because there are older children who sometimes wear them and adults too.

Absolutely. If I had a kid that was still wetting I think I would use them too, perhaps with the odd “try without” night to see if they could stay dry.

 

[wetatnight]

I think it's more acceptable now than it was in the 1970's and 80's when I was growing up
many parents thought that bed wetting was from kids being too lazy at night to get up and go to the bathroom

 

[PampersboyLondon]

I think it comes down to a shift in society, bed wetting once was stigmatized, thought as a behavioral defect and wasn’t treated with the privacy and empathy that it is now.

I think the nappy market has encouraged the management of it through product design for children who wet and also they want a patent to spend with them it also means less laundry, less broken nights sleep and as a pull-up it’s easy management for kids to be able to pull them on and off without needing parental/care giver to help put them on.

I find we are a much more convenience and task focused these days plus in the UK at least until 7 bed wetting isn’t treated as something with a cause medically. So instantly if no one is helping and the problem is going away wouldn’t you turn to Nappies as a solution.

I’m no a parent but if I was I’d let my kid make a choice and help them by encouraging them to have good hygiene and emotionally supporting them and just saying it’s okay. Nappies are a product we have at our disposal and we should use them as such I think for me bed wetters are better off with cloth in a home situation and then disposable outside the home environment just because of reduce leaks and cost

 

[SpacemanJack]

Why does it need to be accepted. It’s something you wear to sleep unless you are an exobitionist no will know if have to accept it.

Part of the acceptance, when it comes to older kids, is acceptance by parents and medical professionals. I have no idea if nappies are better accepted now or not, but I know from personal experience they definitely weren't accepted after a very young age in the past. I was old enough though to be involved in the discussions and it was the doctors telling my parents we had to loose the nappies and use loud, moisture sensing alarms that would wake the whole house with the slightest dribble. Apparently that teaches you not to wet the bed (or used to).

 

[KaleidoscopeKitty]

If the choice is between loud alarms and a diaper I'd just go with the diaper. Why do those alarms even exist?

Bevause a lot of kids are embarrassed about bedwetting and the alarms are a treatment which often works (apparently for 70-90% of children who try them), so often they are happy to put up with a couple of weeks of loud alarms if it means they don’t have to deal with wet beds or pull-ups anymore.

Source: https://www.eric.org.uk/blog/bedwet...vely-unknown-treatment-for-night-time-wetting

 

[KaleidoscopeKitty]

If it works then I suppose. I just figured a diaper or pull-up would be much less potentially disruptive.

But most kids don’t want to wet the bed and need to wear a pull-up and once they get to 7 or 8 most kids will want to start attending things like sleepovers/ camp/ school trips etc and will probably feel anxious about their pull-ups being discovered. Plus pull-ups are expensive and parents may prefer not to have the extra laundry. A few weeks of an alarm is likely less disruptive long term than years of avoiding overnight stays and hiding pull-ups, not to mention the embarrassment and worry around being caught so often it’s worth the child and parents going through the annoyance of the alarm if it means the bedwetting is cured.

 

[CookieMonstah]

But most kids don’t want to wet the bed and need to wear a pull-up and once they get to 7 or 8 most kids will want to start attending things like sleepovers/ camp/ school trips etc and will probably feel anxious about their pull-ups being discovered. Plus pull-ups are expensive and parents may prefer not to have the extra laundry. A few weeks of an alarm is likely less disruptive long term than years of avoiding overnight stays and hiding pull-ups, not to mention the embarrassment and worry around being caught so often it’s worth the child and parents going through the annoyance of the alarm if it means the bedwetting is cured.

For me I'd teach my children that it's okay to wear a pull-up and that they will stop doing it eventually, everyone grows and develops at different rates. Plus when it came to sleepovers I'd just explain to another parent.

 

[KaleidoscopeKitty]

For me I'd teach my children that it's okay to wear a pull-up and that they will stop doing it eventually, everyone grows and develops at different rates. Plus when it came to sleepovers I'd just explain to another parent.

But what if your child is unhappy? What if they are getting upset about it or refusing to go to sleepovers in case it gets found out? What if it is found out and they’re bullied? Just because you like diapers and think they’re an okay solution doesn’t mean your child would feel the same. If there’s a potential cure for the bedwetting which can help them develop the skill surely it’s worth trying it for children who want to?

 

[ChocChip]

If the alarm actually works as a training method then fair enough... but if it just acts to reduce the severity of the bedwetting accident by waking the household up part way through it, it’s better to stick to nappies!

 

[KaleidoscopeKitty]

If the alarm actually works as a training method then fair enough... but if it just acts to reduce the severity of the bedwetting accident by waking the household up part way through it, it’s better to stick to nappies!

I believe they train the brain to wake up when it needs to urinate; it goes off when it gets wet so initially it only works by awaking the person wetting part way through, but usually within a couple of weeks the brain and body learn to work together to wake up before staring to urinate. Usually after a few weeks the bedwetting stops and the alarm can then be removed, it’s not used as a permanent solution. In the UK they are often loaned out by enuresis clinics just for a short duration to save parents having to buy their own as if it’s going to work it shouldn’t be needed for more than a month or so.

 

[PampersboyLondon]

I believe they train the brain to wake up when it needs to urinate; it goes off when it gets wet so initially it only works by awaking the person wetting part way through, but usually within a couple of weeks the brain and body learn to work together to wake up before staring to urinate. Usually after a few weeks the bedwetting stops and the alarm can then be removed, it’s not used as a permanent solution. In the UK they are often loaned out by enuresis clinics just for a short duration to save parents having to buy their own as if it’s going to work it shouldn’t be needed for more than a month or so.

its either a cognitive ability where the brain has to learn by doing and this is where the alarm comes in as it build a map in the brain that works by associating full bladder with the need to wake up and go to the toilet rather than unconsciously wetting.

on the flipside

Medical related conditions for example where your body isn’t producing the right hormone for indicating to the brain and there are other aspects that there maybe no medical basis but it’s not behavioral and the alarm has no positive effect.

At this point if it’s medical, Nappies are perfectly good option and they can help manage a condition and make things comfortable.

wet, cold, sheets and the smell of urine are all traumatic aspects of wetting, add in broken sleep and the additional laundry Stresses for parents you must feel so guilty as a wetter but also shame.

the only problem or aspect of Nappies is they create a safety blanket if you will, that kids may rely on for support and that can have consequences.

must be very hard growing up as a wetter and I imagine you miss out On aspects of childhood and possible very mild PTS(D) as wetting can be traumatic especially as an old kid due to medical reasoning

 

[CookieMonstah]

But what if your child is unhappy? What if they are getting upset about it or refusing to go to sleepovers in case it gets found out? What if it is found out and they’re bullied? Just because you like diapers and think they’re an okay solution doesn’t mean your child would feel the same. If there’s a potential cure for the bedwetting which can help them develop the skill surely it’s worth trying it for children who want to?

I'm not using an alarm on my child, children learn eventually to wake up or their bladders can hold it through the night. If you teach the child it's okay they're not gonna be unhappy and if you reassure them then they're not likely to become worried by it.