What do you answer for a good friend asking "are you wearing a diaper?"

[greatlake5]

I'm profoundly IC. I only tell a very few friends. I've always been discreet, even with friends. I don't wave that IC flag. But I have this one friend and she finally knew that I'm IC. She said she knew that I wasn't using any bathroom. I was with a group of friends and was in a bar, eating dinner and having a few glasses of wine and beer. It went on for a couple of hours. And I never went to the bathroom. Apparently she looked at my crotch and later she whispered "your pants looked kind of different." I said, embarrassingly, "what do you mean?" She looked down at my pants and said "I'm not sure but they look different." Everyone finally left except me and her. I finally gave here a lift. During the drive she kept asking which made me uncomfortable. I have a few employees (2 of them) who know I'm IC. One I told and the other (a woman) figured it out. But both of them don't ask me anything personal. But this friend of mine wouldn't let it go. I know my diaper had come fairly wet but I didn't think it was obvious. She finally said that it looked like I was wearing a diaper. "What?" She said it looked like a diaper. I thought I'd die. She was doing it while laughing.

She wanted to go back to my house and have another glass of wine. So we did. I was hoping that she stopped asking me but no, she was insistent the whole time. You have to remember she's been a great friend for 5 years. We play tennis together and we cycle almost every weekend. I became comfortable with her and I never thought that she might have figured it out. After a couple more glasses she asked me again "are you wearing a diaper?" Then she sat closer and finally touched my crotch. She said I haven't gone to the bathroom the whole time. Touching my crotch turned my head away. I was so embarrassed. I think she knew I was so uncomfortable. She said that it was OK if I was wearing a diaper but she wondered why. So what do you do? The only thing I could do was tell her. So I did. I kept it simple. I have health issues but it doesn't stop me from doing anything I like. I was hoping that that would be the end of that. I drove her home and said I was sorry for not being more open. She said she was sorry for asking so many private questions. I guess that was the end of that. Hopefully.

What would you do when a good friends ask you about wearing a diaper? Most of the time I'm the one who tells them first. Then she got me stunned. I think I answered her question but I know she wants more. But I'm so private about that. It's personal. Do you have a better response? I'm sure she will see me next weekend when we go bicycling. And knowing her she will be asking me again. What would you do?


























/

 

[munkey]

Short answer, I’d just be open at that point. There is no sense of hiding it at that point. Wishing you the best possible outcome.

 

[KaleidoscopeKitty]

I think she was really rude! I guess if you were all drinking maybe she was drunk and lost her inhibitions but honestly it’s not really any of her business and if you were clearly uncomfortable I’d say she shouldn’t have kept pushing and pushing. I don’t see why she would have any reason to raise it again next time she sees you, especially now you’ve told her. I don’t question my friends about their underwear or their toilet habits, that kind of information is personal/ private, so I don’t know why she thinks that just because you’re IC she has any right to keep asking.

I think in your shoes where a friend kept asking I would just try and shut down the conversation and say it’s not really any of her business and you don’t want to discuss it. Would she like it if you were questioning her about her underwear or how often she’d been to the bathroom or whether she was on her period/ wearing any sanitary products etc? You don’t need to be sorry that you didn’t share with her sooner; it’s your personal medical information, nobody has a right to know it unless you make the decision to tell them.

 

[slimjiminy]

... After a couple more glasses she asked me again "are you wearing a diaper?" Then she sat closer and finally touched my crotch. She said I haven't gone to the bathroom the whole time. Touching my crotch turned my head away. I was so embarrassed. I think she knew I was so uncomfortable. She said that it was OK if I was wearing a diaper but she wondered why. So what do you do? The only thing I could do was tell her. So I did. I kept it simple. I have health issues but it doesn't stop me from doing anything I like. I was hoping that that would be the end of that. I drove her home and said I was sorry for not being more open. She said she was sorry for asking so many private questions. I guess that was the end of that. Hopefully.

She's interested in you, which is why she figured it out.

What would you do when a good friends ask you about wearing a diaper?

I think you answered it by telling her about the "health issues". At that point, there's no more hiding it so you might as well be open with her about it, in private.

I think I answered her question but I know she wants more.

She could be just trying to learn more about you or curious about your health issue, or likely both. She wants to understand. When someone is interested in someone else, they want to know everything about them. It's a natural thing.

But I'm so private about that. It's personal. Do you have a better response? I'm sure she will see me next weekend when we go bicycling. And knowing her she will be asking me again. What would you do?

I think I'd explain to her about your issue history (in private of course). Be honest- tell her that this is difficult for you to share (she'll understand).

Now that she knows, and interested, it is important that she knows that this has always been the way for you. And as far as anyone knows, will always be. She may be trying to assess if you will ever be cured. What I'd be wanting to avoid in your situation is someone thinking they can help you be cured. It's better that she learn this now, rather than later. After that, the questions might diminish. I hope that helps.

 

[Abdlchriscrinkle]

She's interested in you, which is why she figured it out.

Now that she knows, and interested, it is important that she knows that this has always been the way for you. And as far as anyone knows, will always be. She may be trying to assess if you will ever be cured. What I'd be wanting to avoid in your situation is someone thinking they can help you be cured. It's better that she learn this now, rather than later. After that, the questions might diminish. I hope that helps.

I agree here, that she's obviously interested in you man.

Also completely agree that she needs to know that you're not looking for someone to help cure you... Nothing more annoying than finding a cool person that turns out to be an incontinence hater, or ''curer''.

Best of luck

 

[SparkyDog]

I've never experienced this but always at the ready. My answer in my head is that's a rather personal question isn't it? (Gage reaction) Then state yes I am wearing because I have incontinence, i would really appreciate it if you keep this confidential for obvious reasons but if you have some questions I can try and answer them.


Will it go down that way? who knows but that's my plan.
I hide my diapers extremely well. Boxers over top, shorts or pants then a tall tshirt
occasion checks that I am things are not poking out


A situation like this will definitely expose exactly how good of a friend they actually are.

 

[Kittyinpink]

I'm profoundly IC. I only tell a very few friends. I've always been discreet, even with friends. I don't wave that IC flag. But I have this one friend and she finally knew that I'm IC. She said she knew that I wasn't using any bathroom. I was with a group of friends and was in a bar, eating dinner and having a few glasses of wine and beer. It went on for a couple of hours. And I never went to the bathroom. Apparently she looked at my crotch and later she whispered "your pants looked kind of different." I said, embarrassingly, "what do you mean?" She looked down at my pants and said "I'm not sure but they look different." Everyone finally left except me and her. I finally gave here a lift. During the drive she kept asking which made me uncomfortable. I have a few employees (2 of them) who know I'm IC. One I told and the other (a woman) figured it out. But both of them don't ask me anything personal. But this friend of mine wouldn't let it go. I know my diaper had come fairly wet but I didn't think it was obvious. She finally said that it looked like I was wearing a diaper. "What?" She said it looked like a diaper. I thought I'd die. She was doing it while laughing.

She wanted to go back to my house and have another glass of wine. So we did. I was hoping that she stopped asking me but no, she was insistent the whole time. You have to remember she's been a great friend for 5 years. We play tennis together and we cycle almost every weekend. I became comfortable with her and I never thought that she might have figured it out. After a couple more glasses she asked me again "are you wearing a diaper?" Then she sat closer and finally touched my crotch. She said I haven't gone to the bathroom the whole time. Touching my crotch turned my head away. I was so embarrassed. I think she knew I was so uncomfortable. She said that it was OK if I was wearing a diaper but she wondered why. So what do you do? The only thing I could do was tell her. So I did. I kept it simple. I have health issues but it doesn't stop me from doing anything I like. I was hoping that that would be the end of that. I drove her home and said I was sorry for not being more open. She said she was sorry for asking so many private questions. I guess that was the end of that. Hopefully.

What would you do when a good friends ask you about wearing a diaper? Most of the time I'm the one who tells them first. Then she got me stunned. I think I answered her question but I know she wants more. But I'm so private about that. It's personal. Do you have a better response? I'm sure she will see me next weekend when we go bicycling. And knowing her she will be asking me again. What would you do?


























/

Her obvious fascination has sent my hairs on edge and my nose twitching... are you sure she wasn't also being flirty? She was obviously observing you and interested in you... she wanted to go back with you , just for wine do you think ?

 

[greatlake5]

it’s not really any of her business.

You have to remember she's been a great friend for 5 years. We play tennis together and we cycle almost every weekend. I became comfortable with her.

She is actually more than a great friend. We have been almost intimate and getting closer. I think I'm the reason why we haven't been completely intimate. I'm too anxious. I know she wants more and I suppose I want more too. If we do get together as boyfriend and girlfriend I know that I'll have to tell her everything. It's frightening.

 

[AnalogRTO]

She is actually more than a great friend. We have been almost intimate and getting closer. I think I'm the reason why we haven't been completely intimate. I'm too anxious. I know she wants more and I suppose I want more too. If we do get together as boyfriend and girlfriend I know that I'll have to tell her everything. It's frightening.

This is where life gets really scary. You are now going to have to decide on how much you trust her. If she's been solid with how she has treated you (and everyone else you've seen her interact with) then you decide whether or not to take a leap of faith and let her into your life much deeper than she is now. It sounds as if she knows plenty about you already, and figuring out your protection doesn't seem to have turned her off in the least. She sounds like she cares more about you as a person than just what kind of underwear you have on.

I told my girlfriend early on about my bladder control issues and that I used protection to deal with it. Just a couple weeks ago, we celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary. She knows everything about me, and it was frightening to be so open. Having the common hobbies makes things so much better, my wife and I often spend 90+% of our waking time together and still love each other to this day and have fun being married.

I wish you the best in whatever decision you make, but it sounds like you know what you want and are just frightened to take that step. It is possible that things might not work out and you might get hurt. But it's also quite possible that this may be the best thing ever in your life.

 

[AnonJohn]

She is actually more than a great friend. We have been almost intimate and getting closer. I think I'm the reason why we haven't been completely intimate. I'm too anxious. I know she wants more and I suppose I want more too. If we do get together as boyfriend and girlfriend I know that I'll have to tell her everything. It's frightening.

1. This is hard on you, stressful whatever you do. Be kind to yourself. The worst that could happen for any action is probably not as bad as you think it is.
2. +1 to "tell her that this is difficult for you to share (she'll understand)." Letting yourself be vulnerable builds a human connection (for friend or girlfriend) better than anything else. When I've done it I feel glad I did - afterward.
3. If you like her, ask her out. It sounds like she'll say yes.

 

[Kittyinpink]

She is actually more than a great friend. We have been almost intimate and getting closer. I think I'm the reason why we haven't been completely intimate. I'm too anxious. I know she wants more and I suppose I want more too. If we do get together as boyfriend and girlfriend I know that I'll have to tell her everything. It's frightening.

I would definitely try the next step if I were in your shoes.. you like girls and you like her , that's enough for a good relationship ! She doesn't want to hurt you , the worst that could happen is she backs off, but let's face facts ! She already knows! Not everything, but enough, and she's still interested.. she must really like you as a person.

 

[sport1]

She is actually more than a great friend. We have been almost intimate and getting closer. I think I'm the reason why we haven't been completely intimate. I'm too anxious. I know she wants more and I suppose I want more too. If we do get together as boyfriend and girlfriend I know that I'll have to tell her everything. It's frightening.

Have fun.

 

[DL1989]

I say go for it as she already knows the biggest part which is you wear diapers the details will not matter to her mostly likely unless you notice she now backs off after leaning you wear diapers the next time you see her.

 

[Tenaman]

Just tell her the facts. I did. Married 28 years next week. Good luck

 

[geka]

I'm profoundly IC. I only tell a very few friends. I've always been discreet, even with friends. I don't wave that IC flag. But I have this one friend and she finally knew that I'm IC. She said she knew that I wasn't using any bathroom. I was with a group of friends and was in a bar, eating dinner and having a few glasses of wine and beer. It went on for a couple of hours. And I never went to the bathroom. Apparently she looked at my crotch and later she whispered "your pants looked kind of different." I said, embarrassingly, "what do you mean?" She looked down at my pants and said "I'm not sure but they look different." Everyone finally left except me and her. I finally gave here a lift. During the drive she kept asking which made me uncomfortable. I have a few employees (2 of them) who know I'm IC. One I told and the other (a woman) figured it out. But both of them don't ask me anything personal. But this friend of mine wouldn't let it go. I know my diaper had come fairly wet but I didn't think it was obvious. She finally said that it looked like I was wearing a diaper. "What?" She said it looked like a diaper. I thought I'd die. She was doing it while laughing.

She wanted to go back to my house and have another glass of wine. So we did. I was hoping that she stopped asking me but no, she was insistent the whole time. You have to remember she's been a great friend for 5 years. We play tennis together and we cycle almost every weekend. I became comfortable with her and I never thought that she might have figured it out. After a couple more glasses she asked me again "are you wearing a diaper?" Then she sat closer and finally touched my crotch. She said I haven't gone to the bathroom the whole time. Touching my crotch turned my head away. I was so embarrassed. I think she knew I was so uncomfortable. She said that it was OK if I was wearing a diaper but she wondered why. So what do you do? The only thing I could do was tell her. So I did. I kept it simple. I have health issues but it doesn't stop me from doing anything I like. I was hoping that that would be the end of that. I drove her home and said I was sorry for not being more open. She said she was sorry for asking so many private questions. I guess that was the end of that. Hopefully.

What would you do when a good friends ask you about wearing a diaper? Most of the time I'm the one who tells them first. Then she got me stunned. I think I answered her question but I know she wants more. But I'm so private about that. It's personal. Do you have a better response? I'm sure she will see me next weekend when we go bicycling. And knowing her she will be asking me again. What would you do?


























/

I’ll join the Choir here, I think she’s into you. Good luck!

 

[munkey]

I got the vibe she is into you, hence why I was like, just open up at this point. Seeing your second response… OPEN UP TO HER! DOOOO IT WIshing you the best possible outcome

 

[Angelapinks]

I'm profoundly IC. I only tell a very few friends. I've always been discreet, even with friends. I don't wave that IC flag. But I have this one friend and she finally knew that I'm IC. She said she knew that I wasn't using any bathroom. I was with a group of friends and was in a bar, eating dinner and having a few glasses of wine and beer. It went on for a couple of hours. And I never went to the bathroom. Apparently she looked at my crotch and later she whispered "your pants looked kind of different." I said, embarrassingly, "what do you mean?" She looked down at my pants and said "I'm not sure but they look different." Everyone finally left except me and her. I finally gave here a lift. During the drive she kept asking which made me uncomfortable. I have a few employees (2 of them) who know I'm IC. One I told and the other (a woman) figured it out. But both of them don't ask me anything personal. But this friend of mine wouldn't let it go. I know my diaper had come fairly wet but I didn't think it was obvious. She finally said that it looked like I was wearing a diaper. "What?" She said it looked like a diaper. I thought I'd die. She was doing it while laughing.

She wanted to go back to my house and have another glass of wine. So we did. I was hoping that she stopped asking me but no, she was insistent the whole time. You have to remember she's been a great friend for 5 years. We play tennis together and we cycle almost every weekend. I became comfortable with her and I never thought that she might have figured it out. After a couple more glasses she asked me again "are you wearing a diaper?" Then she sat closer and finally touched my crotch. She said I haven't gone to the bathroom the whole time. Touching my crotch turned my head away. I was so embarrassed. I think she knew I was so uncomfortable. She said that it was OK if I was wearing a diaper but she wondered why. So what do you do? The only thing I could do was tell her. So I did. I kept it simple. I have health issues but it doesn't stop me from doing anything I like. I was hoping that that would be the end of that. I drove her home and said I was sorry for not being more open. She said she was sorry for asking so many private questions. I guess that was the end of that. Hopefully.

What would you do when a good friends ask you about wearing a diaper? Most of the time I'm the one who tells them first. Then she got me stunned. I think I answered her question but I know she wants more. But I'm so private about that. It's personal. Do you have a better response? I'm sure she will see me next weekend when we go bicycling. And knowing her she will be asking me again. What would you do?


























/

If they are good friends for awhile and asked, then I guess I would just tell them the truth. Millions of people have the same problem as we do and maybe more as the population ages. It is becoming a fact of life but I sure wish I had bought stock in Diaper companies when my problem started.

 

[iluvdps2]

Is this the same girl that you posted about earlier this year that figured out you wore diapers and was patting your butt?

How do we know she's totally into you....? You said she touched your crotch to confirm her suspicions that you were wearing a diaper.
I would take a deep breath and say something to the effect of, "My health, incontinence, and diapers are very difficult for me to talk about...but I will try my best, just understand that it's difficult." If you want to rip the band-aid completely off, simply say, "Last time you were over, you touched my diaper - if you do that again, I'm going to need you to help change it."

 

[OnePiece]

Perhaps it's only me, but from what you are telling I get a vibe that she might be a little intrigued by your diapers,
in addition to being interested in you.
A girl would not touch a mans crotch that way if not interested and also she wanted to go to your house for a glass of wine...
That signals interest, although of course you must be careful and pay attention to her signals.
She can always change her mind during the night and that's OK too.

 

[greatlake5]

Perhaps it's only me, but from what you are telling I get a vibe that she might be a little intrigued by your diapers,
in addition to being interested in you.

I'm not sure she's intrigued. Probably more just curious (I think). We're going to cycle on Sunday and she want's to kayak on Monday (she loves my house and the beach near the dunes). I'm sure she'll be asking at some point. I suppose I'll let her ask the questions and I'll keep the answers simple but direct. As for her being interested, I think we both are.