Urge Incontinence + No Diaper + Stuck in Traffic

[iam32bit]

This week was hell for my Urge Incontinence. I guess a flare up? I normally put on a fresh diaper + booster before leaving to go to work. I wear it until I need changing and then wear panties (I am a girl) until I get home. I also use the bathroom before heading home.

On Friday, I was stuck in abnormal traffic with no way to use a bathroom mid commute. It took all of my willpower to hold it in and fight the throbbing pain. The second I got off the highway I ran to a Burger King and had to use their dirty bathroom. I was crying and hating myself for having this condition and not having a way to change at work. I can't stress how bad the pain was to hold it and not have an accident in my car.

It is situations like this that I wish I could commit to wearing 24/7 instead of wearing when I can.

 

[mickdl]

Sorry for asking - but if you can get out of the wet ones - why you can‘t change into fresh ones? I think - especialy at the end of work no one will care if you go with your bag to the toilette, so it‘s really easy to prepare for the way home.

 

[eastcoastdl]

That’s why I went 24/7. Not because I *couldn’t* hold it, but because it was so painful, as well as causing anxiety while taking public transit and not even having the option to stop at a public bathroom, no matter how gross.

It sucks, but you play the hand you’re dealt. Some of my friends have back problems and the pain is so bad they can’t get out of bed. Everyone’s situation is different and you really shouldn’t compare yourself to others, but looking at it in that context makes me feel not so bad about being in diapers.

Edit: This was all before I gained acceptance, then started to identify with the DL side, as I mentioned in another post https://www.adisc.org/forum/posts/1636111/

 

[iam32bit]

Sorry for asking - but if you can get out of the wet ones - why you can‘t change into fresh ones? I think - especialy at the end of work no one will care if you go with your bag to the toilette, so it‘s really easy to prepare for the way home.

No harm in asking, I use the bathroom when no one is around and dispose of it. Usually when I have another 2 to 3 hours left of my work day.

 

[iam32bit]

That’s why I went 24/7. Not because I *couldn’t* hold it, but because it was so painful, as well as causing anxiety while taking public transit and not even having the option to stop at a public bathroom, no matter how gross.

That is one of the reasons I battled wether or not I needed diapers. I don't have accidents, I just have to go pee so many times a day and often am away from a restroom and thus have to endure pain in an effort to hold it.

 

[eastcoastdl]

That is one of the reasons I battled wether or not I needed diapers. I don't have accidents, I just have to go pee so many times a day and often am away from a restroom and thus have to endure pain in an effort to hold it.

That was how it started for me, then it got to the point where I’d start leaking a bit here and there. I could justify not wearing diapers because it was “just a little bit”, until I lost a whole full bladder on my front steps while trying to unlock my front door. From then on, regardless of what I wanted, I understood that I needed to wear diapers - but coming to terms with the internal conflict was a whole different deal that was much harder to get over.

 

[rennecfox]

Diapers aren't always there because you know you'll need them, sometimes they are there because you don't know for certain you won't need them. Ask yourself which is better, the thought of having an accident in traffic unprepared or having some kind of diaper on? Another suggestion if you aren't going to be willing to wear home, get some large underpads to leave in the car to protect your seats.

 

[ltaluv]

My symptoms are often similar - painful spasms that require all my concentration to hold in. Most of my accidents happen when the spam simply lasts longer than I can hold my sphincters shut that tightly. And sometimes I end up feeling like I were myself because I just gave up and let it happen.

It's important to realize that this is exactly why you are wearing diapers - so you don't have to sit through episodes of agonizing pain. It sounds like what you really need to do, IMHO, is to figure out a way to change at work so you can have a diaper on for the drive home.

One question: Are you seeing a urologist? There can be behavioral things and dietary changes that will help some people with urge incontinence, and it's important to know as much as you can about why it's happening.

 

[iam32bit]

One question: Are you seeing a urologist? There can be behavioral things and dietary changes that will help some people with urge incontinence, and it's important to know as much as you can about why it's happening.

Yes I have been to a Urologist. They were finding blood in my urine and did a whole suite of tests including seeing how much urine remains in my bladder after voiding. They even did a procedure where they stuck a scope into my bladder. Nothing can explain the blood nor why I have such bad urges to pee. On average I have to run to the bathroom 15 to 20 times a day.

I have tried elimination diets in an effort to find a culprit, nothing eliminated from my diet improved my condition. They had me try a few medications which provided minimal improvement. Not enough to keep paying co-pays for. I wish my insurance covered my diapers, I would gladly pay a co-pay to reduce my monthly cost from $150 to $15 a month.

Part of why I don't bring a spare change with me is how embarrassed I am needed diapers to manage my condition. It is bad enough that normal every day people frown upon diaper usage, but even my Urologist was annoyed that I chose them as my preferred management method.

It really is pathetic how little treatment options work for most people. I have read countless stories how people tried everything under the sun and ultimately had to fall back on diapers as the best option.

 

[Rob110]

Most urologists refrain from recommending diapers as they feel its a fail on their part, but they are not the ones who have to deal with the embarrassment of wet pants if and when the meds fail.

Being diapered as an Adult is embarrassing at times but once you accept its a medical need over time the embarrassment feeling fades, changing at work is tough at first and yes people may notice but they will definitely notice wet pants if you have an accident with out a diaper.

any one who has noticed and said something has under stood my medical needs and nothing further has ever been said Diapers are now apart of your life 24/7 at some point in-time you are going to have to accept that fact and wear and change no matter where you are or who's around.

Its hard at first but once you stop worrying about the what ifs, changing in any situation gets easier

 

[eastcoastdl]

It really is pathetic how little treatment options work for most people. I have read countless stories how people tried everything under the sun and ultimately had to fall back on diapers as the best option.

Tell me about it, and then urologists react with surprise (or more negatively) when you tell them you're using "absorbent products" to manage your condition. What am I supposed to do, wet my pants a couple times a day?? In what situation did that ever seem like an acceptable, let alone expected behavior?

Regardless, there are people out there in the medical science industry who have noticed this, as shown in this paper... https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2017/04/170404124636.htm - I just don't know if the reason behind it is that it's overwhelmingly difficult to develop medication to treat, or there's just not enough money for the proper amount of research. Maybe a little bit of both?

 

[rennecfox]

Part of why I don't bring a spare change with me is how embarrassed I am needed diapers to manage my condition. It is bad enough that normal every day people frown upon diaper usage, but even my Urologist was annoyed that I chose them as my preferred management method.

Think of them as a just in case , check the rush hour stats before heading out from work, figure out what you have a head, nothings worse then that feeling of having to burst. Also don't let others make you feel bad about how you choose to manage your incontinence.

 

[mickdl]

Yes I have been to a Urologist. They were finding blood in my urine and did a whole suite of tests including seeing how much urine remains in my bladder after voiding. They even did a procedure where they stuck a scope into my bladder. Nothing can explain the blood nor why I have such bad urges to pee. On average I have to run to the bathroom 15 to 20 times a day.

I think I known exactly how you feel. More or less the same happened to me a couple of years ago with the difference that I couldn’t hold it from that time on anymore. They had also no cue what happened and told me a infection was the root cause. Meanwhile I know that maybe the infection was probably the reason why it gets that worse but I’m pretty sure that the I had the PBS problem already before. It needed round about 3 year to get at least some of the control back and a month ago I went to a other specialist who had better diagnostics and he found out that I suffer from IC/PBS. I still think about trying a new medication but I’m a bit torn about it, because already had my experiences with that and I‘m not that sure if this would really bring that much afford compared to the problems...

 

[heatherreynolds]

I had the same thing happen to me in my early diaper days, taught me a valuable lesson. Never go with out protection.

 

[tafkadl]

I have an OAB and used to drive from one pee stop to another. I started wearing pullups and only the idea that I no longer had to stress to find a next possible stop, reduced the urges to a minimum. If I'm in traffic, I now have them once I know I'm almost at my destination and there is a toilet I can use. Once arrived, I still have to rush but most of the time make it without major accidents.
As long as I can manage it like that, I don't want to switch to diapers as it would be more difficult to make use of the toilet when there is an urge.

 

[Rob110]

You can pull down your taped diaper but you are right it is slower to remove a taped diaper, I would recommend switching to a taped diaper on longer car rides to help prevent leaks from the pullups if you are far between Bathrooms.

 

[Wetshisbed]

I've wet my self a few times in traffic jams. I wear nappies 24/7 so no it's not a problem

 

[Vinylfeet]

I completely understand your situation and I'm right there with you with the pain of the urges. It sucks to have to deal with that and nobody understands. The meds don't help me any, and make me feel awful. I couldn't live somewhere with a lot of traffic without going 24/7. I've had a few times where I couldn't hold it, including at the door to my house, like eastcoastdl. When it's flared up, I also go 15-20 times a day and almost that much otherwise. Winter time makes it worse, and I'll often wear Depend Real Fits all day so that I have a way to relieve some of the pressure. It's been quite a bit better this year and I don't know why, but I guess it goes in cycles.

What kind of diaper do you start the day with? Maybe you could go a little thicker and be able to make it all day so you have protection on the way home?

 

[iam32bit]

I completely understand your situation and I'm right there with you with the pain of the urges. It sucks to have to deal with that and nobody understands. The meds don't help me any, and make me feel awful. I couldn't live somewhere with a lot of traffic without going 24/7. I've had a few times where I couldn't hold it, including at the door to my house, like eastcoastdl. When it's flared up, I also go 15-20 times a day and almost that much otherwise. Winter time makes it worse, and I'll often wear Depend Real Fits all day so that I have a way to relieve some of the pressure. It's been quite a bit better this year and I don't know why, but I guess it goes in cycles.

What kind of diaper do you start the day with? Maybe you could go a little thicker and be able to make it all day so you have protection on the way home?

None of the meds have helped me, my doctor is suspecting I might have MS. Hopefully we find some sort of solution. As for the diaper of choice, I wear a NorthShore Supreme with a Booster. It usually lasts me from 7AM till around 2PM before I feel the need to change out of it. I never bring a change with me because the diaper is too big for my purse. Then I force myself to urinate prior to heading home, which helps most days but there are days where literally 15 minutes into my commute I have to pee. Those are the times I wish I had a diaper on instead of enduring the pain of holding it.

One of the factors holding me back from committing to 24/7 is cost. I don't understand why Insurance companies are willing to cover medications that cost more than double the NorthShore Suppremes. I estimate I would need two cases of NorthShore a month for 24/7. That would be roughly ~$200. Most meds without co-pay are around that or even more. Not to mention they will cover interstim, which doesn't help most people and costs even more.

I wish NorthShore would establish those relations with major insurance companies to assist those who have a medical need for diapers. Sometimes I really wish I was a DL, then I wouldn't be so irritated with my condition and the cost that comes along with it.

 

[mickdl]

Hey Iam32bit,

i‘am an DL but you can be shure that the beginning of my UIC was verry irritating for me too... In faxt it was a bit shocking, because I had also blood in my urin and ended up in a hospital. I can tell you that I started hating pads and diapers in the first year and started fighting hard to get my continence back. I had in a couple of way‘s a bit luck, because the medication and therapies helped me to get at last parts of my control back. After 3 month of fighting with the insurance I made it, that they took over most of the costs I was able to make a deal with the supplier, so I have to pay only round about 20€ extra in a month - but I live in Germany so it‘s not that easy to compare the situation with the US.

How ever, the pain is often still there and since I‘m diagnosted with IC/PBS there are not that much chances that thing getting better over the time. This is something I‘m still have to cope with. At work I wear only pads, and I’m luckily that they are good enaugh to hold an accident that still happens from time to time. If I’m on the way I need diapers, and I mostly did‘t make it to get dry home. At the beginning of my problem I needed to changed the pads round about 5 times a day. I had to talk with my employer about this, because they did‘t had bins in the stalls and for me it was important that he had a understanding of my situation. Luckily he reacted very professional and helped me to cope with this situation.

So I not sure what to do in your situation, I heared that UIC is a pretty common side effect of MS - but probably a minor problem compared to the rest. So I crossing thumps for you that it is a bladder problem only. If it is not MS I would consult a specialist. In my case nether in the hospital nor the urological ambulance was able to diagnose my problem correctly. This year I leared while visiting a specialist, that this seems to be a really rare illness for man (f.m. 9:1)... and more over you need some some kind of a high resultion camera and a lot of experiace to see this if it is in an early stage. This was probably the reason why it tooks so long to find it out. I’m now also on a new medication, I can not say for the moment if it realy help because it takes round about 6 month before it will show some effects. But at last it doesn’t have the side effect from tolderodin...