The Challenge of Meeting Friends

[meowmind]

Hello everyone!

I wanted to make a post here are get peoples thoughts on this, and share my experiences. And also kinda vent a little bit cause I am a little frustrated with this right now.

I have had an oddly difficult time meeting friends in the ABDL community. Most of my interactions have been with people I have met on reddit, mainly cause personal ad's are not a thing here. I have looked around on fetlife as well, but not really digging the vibe in most posts, and have also got some rather mixed (and super creepy) responses when trying to talk to people there.

For me, I am just trying to meet more friends, not hook up with someone. Friends are more important than a possibly short lived relationship or a quick hook up.

80 to 90% of the time one of either three things happens:
1. Someone only wants to talk about diapers, and is uninterested about talking about other topics.
2. The people that respond to me want to role play and then ghost me, or want to talk about things sexual in nature right away.
3. I will start having good wholesome conversations with people, then I get ghosted out of nowhere.

#3 really gets to me. I have met some really awesome people who share so many things in common with me, and just when I think I have made a friend... silence. Sometimes I find that I am the one asking nearly all the questions, and most people never bother to ask me much... maybe this should be a bigger flag in my book...

I always try to make a very high effort to be courteous with people I am talking with, and tend not to bring up ABDL related topics very much unless we are both comfortable with talking about it. Also, I try to be considerate of their time, and not bombard people with a ton of messages throughout the day, after all most people have lives outside of this community as well.

I have seen so many bad examples in the abdl community when it comes to talking to others, I try to keep my own standards high.

Even tho I live in what seems to be one of the biggest states for the ABDL community at the moment (Colorado), I live 2 hours away from nearly all the IRL events. The one event I went to (one of the nerd nights at ABDLr), was a fairly neutral experience for me. Nearly everyone there was already in their cliques, and it felt incredibly awkward to break their conversations to introduce myself. Eventually one kind soul noticed the lost looking intervert, and invited me to color with them.

I am no social butterfly but I try to make a good effort, but it all feels so hopeless everytime I try.

So what are your experiences with this? Anyone have some good suggestions?

Thanks!!

 

[PaddedCub]

Honestly this is very relatable and unfortunately I have no advice… but I am down to chat in messages with you if you are!

 

[foxkits]

Oh your are ina good place.
You just need to get used to others.
I know people can be shy.
Bring a fun game with you every one may like twister is a good one.I'm a little shy myself.
Maybe it's just hard to get your little out in public. One step at a time.

 

[Eclectic]

Once out of school, adults commonly have trouble making friends. It’s a known fact and something social scientists study. It gets harder the older you get.

I think the only way I can help is by saying you generally get out of friendship what you are willing to put in. For a lot of ABDLs who are introverted, it’s even harder.

Like you, I would really like to make some friends who are littles. You are lucky to live in Colorado where there is a local scene. I don’t know if this is similar, but in my limited experience in meeting people IRL, I find that I just don’t have a lot in common. I think the key word here is “limited”. The more people you meet, the more likely you’ll find someone to be your friend.

 

[michaelmc]

Everything word for word as in a normal friendship with abdl as a shared interest not the main focus! although i have not been lucky enough to meet another abdl little or sissy , i love to travel and visit places off interest and try new experiences and do so every year with friends but non off my friends are abdl so i can't share or talk about it with them sadly .

 

[littleFeathers]

So what are your experiences with this?

Just about everything you said there had me nodding and going yes! YES!

As far as I know there aren't any ABDLs within a day's drive of here, but I've seen a lot of the same behavior in other venues. Like I go to an event where I ought to have at least something in common with everyone (like an organized bike ride), and find that everyone is there with their friends and aren't interested in some stranger walking up in the middle of their little gathering.

I've seen the advice to just do what you like to do and you'll meet others who also like that same thing. I have yet to see another kayaker out on the lake here at dawn on a Sunday morning... or at dawn on any other morning for that matter.... maybe I'm just too odd...

Sorry I don't have any suggestions... I feel like I'm as stuck as you are...

 

[Kirisin]

I have lurked around the few of the abdl communities but I tend to keep to myself outside of here. I've never been to any function anywhere and not sure I would. I'm not the most social person in the world. I've remained closeted. Simply the thought of someone discovering my secret scares the hell out if me. I hope I've made some friends here but outside if here I've not tried and probably wouldn't. This has always seamed like a great place and I wouldn't think being ghosted Here would ever be a problem. I know it isn't exactly a social setting but it's about as close to social I'll ever get. I wish you luck and hope for the best for you and anyone else here

 

[PamperedMarine]

I can only give my own experiences here, but I do not base friend ships strictly off ab/dl interests or experiences. Find other interests. I do not discuss underwear with most friends, my wife doesn't either. Expand your horizons you will find similar soon.

 

[meowmind]

I can only give my own experiences here, but I do not base friend ships strictly off ab/dl interests or experiences. Find other interests. I do not discuss underwear with most friends, my wife doesn't either. Expand your horizons you will find similar soon.

Agreed. I briefly covered this in my original post.

There is little point to a friendship that is strictly based off of abdl interests. We all are fairly unanimous with our interests here, give or take. Any friendship with little similar interests are usually short lived.

I do have plenty of IRL vanilla friends. My goal here is meeting people that share similar interests, as well as ABDL interests. Sometimes it's nice to have a friend you can talk to about stuff that your vanilla friends don't need to know about.

 

[meowmind]

Once out of school, adults commonly have trouble making friends. It’s a known fact and something social scientists study. It gets harder the older you get.

I think the only way I can help is by saying you generally get out of friendship what you are willing to put in. For a lot of ABDLs who are introverted, it’s even harder.

Like you, I would really like to make some friends who are littles. You are lucky to live in Colorado where there is a local scene. I don’t know if this is similar, but in my limited experience in meeting people IRL, I find that I just don’t have a lot in common. I think the key word here is “limited”. The more people you meet, the more likely you’ll find someone to be your friend.

Thanks for your input!

This is a fascinating social aspect I did not take into account. And from my vanilla experiences I would have to agree with this, nearly all of my friends are from my earlier days. And now that I think of it... any of my more recent friends definitely came with more social resistance from me at first. The ones that were the most persistent are the ones that are still my friends.

Yeah.. my sample size of one local event is most certainly limited. I do plan on trying to make more events, so maybe one of these days I will meet someone there.

 

[warmfeeling]

Hello everyone!

I wanted to make a post here are get peoples thoughts on this, and share my experiences. And also kinda vent a little bit cause I am a little frustrated with this right now.

I have had an oddly difficult time meeting friends in the ABDL community. Most of my interactions have been with people I have met on reddit, mainly cause personal ad's are not a thing here. I have looked around on fetlife as well, but not really digging the vibe in most posts, and have also got some rather mixed (and super creepy) responses when trying to talk to people there.

For me, I am just trying to meet more friends, not hook up with someone. Friends are more important than a possibly short lived relationship or a quick hook up.

80 to 90% of the time one of either three things happens:
1. Someone only wants to talk about diapers, and is uninterested about talking about other topics.
2. The people that respond to me want to role play and then ghost me, or want to talk about things sexual in nature right away.
3. I will start having good wholesome conversations with people, then I get ghosted out of nowhere.

#3 really gets to me. I have met some really awesome people who share so many things in common with me, and just when I think I have made a friend... silence. Sometimes I find that I am the one asking nearly all the questions, and most people never bother to ask me much... maybe this should be a bigger flag in my book...

I always try to make a very high effort to be courteous with people I am talking with, and tend not to bring up ABDL related topics very much unless we are both comfortable with talking about it. Also, I try to be considerate of their time, and not bombard people with a ton of messages throughout the day, after all most people have lives outside of this community as well.

I have seen so many bad examples in the abdl community when it comes to talking to others, I try to keep my own standards high.

Even tho I live in what seems to be one of the biggest states for the ABDL community at the moment (Colorado), I live 2 hours away from nearly all the IRL events. The one event I went to (one of the nerd nights at ABDLr), was a fairly neutral experience for me. Nearly everyone there was already in their cliques, and it felt incredibly awkward to break their conversations to introduce myself. Eventually one kind soul noticed the lost looking intervert, and invited me to color with them.

I am no social butterfly but I try to make a good effort, but it all feels so hopeless everytime I try.

So what are your experiences with this? Anyone have some good suggestions?

Thanks!!

I think it’s the same IRL, it takes time to click with the right person, I have a couple of friends that I’ve had for 40 +?years, I knew after ten mins they would be lifelong friends, I’ve probably met a thousand since and not had the same feeling, some of it is luck especially with our kink. A lot of people are looking for that bit extra, sorry. You will find it.
Where in the world are you?, I’ll always chat

 

[SparkyDog]

Unfortunately talking about stuff outside the realm of diapers on Adisc is extremely hard for many.
All you can keep doing is trying
Making friends as adults can be difficult. It's sadly not easy as kids where we say hey want to be friends and play on the swings
It is possible to make friends
finding out other people's interests can be tricky
sometimes they are just as frustrated as you.

 

[DiaperedInDenver]

I feel your pain. Mostly people are way too overly sexual to be friends with or are flakey. It's annoying.

 

[ShyBoo81]

Its very hard making new friends as an adult, theres no easy way around it. Even worse if you're an introvert with social anxiety like me. IDK if this would be considered good advice or not, but my advice is to try attend every meetup you can and get familiar with the people there. And just hope they get familiar enough with you that they start mingling you into their social circle

Trying to make friends online is even harder IMO. The whole ghosting thing is very much common, and people do it for different reasons. Maybe they just run out of things to say and cant keep the conversation going. Or they could be too busy with other stuff IRL and forget about their online conversation. I admit, Ive ghosted people online before. For me, the main reason why I ghost some people is because the other person is making me uncomfortable (they talk overly sexual for example) But also, because I can get overwhelmed with too many message + combined with social anxiety and I end up not knowing what to say back, so I just stop responding. Yeah, I know its pretty messed up of me

Im a bit thankful you shared your experience. Sometimes I worry if Im the weird one for struggling to make friends, so I guess its good to know you share the same sentiment too

 

[meowmind]

Its very hard making new friends as an adult, theres no easy way around it. Even worse if you're an introvert with social anxiety like me. IDK if this would be considered good advice or not, but my advice is to try attend every meetup you can and get familiar with the people there. And just hope they get familiar enough with you that they start mingling you into their social circle

Trying to make friends online is even harder IMO. The whole ghosting thing is very much common, and people do it for different reasons. Maybe they just run out of things to say and cant keep the conversation going. Or they could be too busy with other stuff IRL and forget about their online conversation. I admit, Ive ghosted people online before. For me, the main reason why I ghost some people is because the other person is making me uncomfortable (they talk overly sexual for example) But also, because I can get overwhelmed with too many message + combined with social anxiety and I end up not knowing what to say back, so I just stop responding. Yeah, I know its pretty messed up of me

Im a bit thankful you shared your experience. Sometimes I worry if Im the weird one for struggling to make friends, so I guess its good to know you share the same sentiment too

Yeah, I get that social anxiety aspect. I am quite the introvert myself. For me, I usually get anxious that I am bugging the other person too much, and don't want to push it too far.

 

[ShyBoo81]

Yeah, I get that social anxiety aspect. I am quite the introvert myself. For me, I usually get anxious that I am bugging the other person too much, and don't want to push it too far.

IKR, thank you for saying that! I think especially with the younger generation (Millenials and Gen Z) it almost seems like taboo to just start a friendly conversation with anyone if you dont know each other yet. IDK how you're supposed to met new people with this logic. I know part of it could just be all in my head, but still

 

[meowmind]

IKR, thank you for saying that! I think especially with the younger generation (Millenials and Gen Z) it almost seems like taboo to just start a friendly conversation with anyone if you dont know each other yet. IDK how you're supposed to met new people with this logic. I know part of it could just be all in my head, but still

I think you really hit the nail on the head there.

I am indeed within the Millennial generation, and yeah, it feels totally weird to try and start up a conversation with someone I don't know.

 

[DiaperedInDenver]

I also think there's an aspect similar to the binge purge cycle in terms of meeting people in the diaper world. Like, one day someone will be down tovmeet and then start feeling shame or whatever and decide to ghost.

 

[meowmind]

I also think there's an aspect similar to the binge purge cycle in terms of meeting people in the diaper world. Like, one day someone will be down tovmeet and then start feeling shame or whatever and decide to ghost.

You may totally be on to something there!

While I have ended the binge purge cycle ages ago, I do feel there are times where I don't partake in abdl activities as much. Only difference here is it's not usually due to any shame, but more so just a change of pace for a while.

 

[PetahPetah]

Hello all! I offer sympathetic, above the waist HUGs! You missed how peole move away too. I have always had trouble making friends, in school and later. Btw me in N H and have no car to go anywhere.