Stigma

[SparkyDog]

This is 100% correct! I don’t get why potty training and wearing a diaper has to be so shameful. Many ways to teach kids how to use a potty and putting shame and pressure on them shouldn’t be one of them. They can’t help it. When they’re ready they are ready. And some take into teen years.
I had many accidents as a child and I felt this shame up until my parents got divorced at like 12 years old. It was horrible and I still don’t speak to my father 30 years later.
Society placing shame on anyone wearing a diaper over 2 years old has created this stigma and unfortunately, not changing quick enough.

yep
but unfortunately society went a different direction on that
hence the stigma we have today

 

[mickdl]

So I think most people who suffer from a continence problem don't have a problem buying aids. I mean - I have to talk to a lot of people about it - with the doctors, the health insurance, the suppliers, etc.. Why should I have a problem to buy some diapers in the store?

I think this problem is more an ABDL problem. When I was healthy, I found it not that easy to go to the store and buy diapers - unconsciously there was always the question "What will you do if someone asks you" Since my back is broken, I have a lot of other problems - but this one is definitely gone...

 

[Soggy247]

I feel there is deffo a stigma in the uk as regards to wearing adult nappies for incontinence. Even my GP and continence nurse try to get me into catheters or sheaths and prostetic sphincters all the time. Its like wearing nappies is frowned upon.

 

[newt]

So I think most people who suffer from a continence problem don't have a problem buying aids. I mean - I have to talk to a lot of people about it - with the doctors, the health insurance, the suppliers, etc.. Why should I have a problem to buy some diapers in the store?

I think this problem is more an ABDL problem. When I was healthy, I found it not that easy to go to the store and buy diapers - unconsciously there was always the question "What will you do if someone asks you" Since my back is broken, I have a lot of other problems - but this one is definitely gone...

I think this is a good point. But while I haven't bought diapers at the store in years (it only took one Walgreens brand diaper to realize I might as well just be wearing 2 layers of underwear for all the good they do) I think it is still very different from discussing it with medical professionals. I am still fairly nervous talking to my doctors about my problems and diapers in general. Its not a problem, and its more waiting room nerves than anything.

But that is vastly different from buying diapers in a store and the cashier is a 22 year old working a part time job to pay for college or a 16 year old working their first job. The store clerks are not medical professionals. My interactions with cashiers are not protected from disclosure by HIPAA. Yes, I shouldn't care what they think, but all too often I do. Just because its a medical problem and I need them doesn't make the interaction any less embarrassing.

 

[SparkyDog]

Its like wearing nappies is frowned upon.

Yea because it is frowned upon by the general public. Many with IC will do anything to not wear diapers so they mostly assume everyone is the same. Diapers are for babies it's the stigma that will stick around for our lifetime

 

[PeterPPeevy]

Nobody knows who you are buying for or the reasons behind doing so.

For years — decades! — I suffered “Shame at the Checkout Counter“ whether I was buying panties, sex toys, pads, pull-ups, condoms, lube, “girlie“ magazines, or even hemorrhoid cream or suppositories. Only once, though, when I was buying a pair of panties, did a woman “say” something to me.
I was in line in the lingerie department at The Bay, waiting to buy a pair of panties, when a woman cut in line ahead of me. For once, I put aside shame and said, “Pardon me, but I‘m next.” Now it was she who was embarrassed and flustered. “Oh!” she said. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you were waiting to buy….”

The sales clerk, apparently aware of the incident, must have been flustered because she forgot to disable the security tag, and when I left the store my new panties set off the alarm! A security guard came running after me, demanding to see what was in my bag and whether I had a receipt, which I did have, fortunately.

JDCH is right, there’s just no need for anxiety over buying diapers or anything else that you want or need to enhance your experience of…life, as long as you don’t coerce or force other people to join you. But, really, the chances of anyone noticing or caring about what you buy are vanishingly rare, as long as you buy, and don’t shoplift!

Peter P. P.

 

[CrossfireHurricane]

As much as I'm happy to be at a point where I don't personally care if someone notices what I'm wearing, or sees what I'm buying

Good on you. Me? No. I've always been IC. You would think that at some point, you stop worrying. But I do. Wearing a diaper (24/7 dependent) is always challenging. Discrete is key. Why? Because I don't like to let the public know. Personal and private. I'm a teacher (and a guidance counselor).
I have a teacher. friend. He had prostate surgery and wears a diaper. He doesn't hide it and actually tells everyone that he wears diapers. He laughs about it. Everyone in school loves him. They don't make fun of him. I've had a few conversations with him. I finally told him that I'm IC too. He was surprised. He said he never noticed. He advised me that if anyone figured it out, to use humor. I told him I prefer to stay on the down-low. He appreciates my approach. There might be a few (here in school) that might notice but nobody calls me out. I think they respect me and the way I deal with everyone.

Not everyone has your approach. I respect your thinking. Life would be much easier for everyone who UNDERSTANDS the fact that some people are different. Especially when someone are incontinent.

I don't really worry about purchasing IC supplies. Mostly because I buy diapers online. But it's became a nature for the public know that some people use them. So it's lessen stigma. But let's face it, stigma is still here. And I know that. That's why I hide my secret.

 

[Myday2]

I feel there is deffo a stigma in the uk as regards to wearing adult nappies for incontinence. Even my GP and continence nurse try to get me into catheters or sheaths and prostetic sphincters all the time. It’s like wearing nappies is frowned upon.

I’ve tried the catheters well I get catheter once a month for treatment and not an experience I want everyday.

 

[HalMidLife]

I’ve tried the catheters well I get catheter once a month for treatment and not an experience I want everyday.

I once had to explain to someone - very nicely because he was honestly just trying to be helpful - working in a medical supply store that "I really am totally ok with wearing diapers - they don't bother me at all" and that "the idea of using a catheter and leg bag is a great deal less appealing than using a diaper".

 

[mirrored22]

I once had to explain to someone - very nicely because he was honestly just trying to be helpful - working in a medical supply store that "I really am totally ok with wearing diapers - they don't bother me at all" and that "the idea of using a catheter and leg bag is a great deal less appealing than using a diaper".

Anyone who recommends a catheter and leg bag/big bag over absorbent products should try one for a week. Bet they would change their mind real quick. After that experience, I could not care even a little bit if anyone gives me grief over wearing pull ups or diapers to help manage my problems.

I imagine for most mature and able bodied adults, this sort of thing is just a medical device and an aid and that is where it starts and ends. But we have to fight the battle in our heads that is ashamed of needing aids and as a result, we may take it more personally when we do notice something we may even perceive as judgmental. No one likes being weak or feeling weak, or having that "deficiency" pointed out. We just have to be very nice to ourselves.

 

[ILuvDiapers]

It is true, that doctors and urologists in the uk are anti diapers. They do tend to lean towards using catheters or sheaths. I have tried both, and hatted both.

Sometimes a catheter has been necessary, but i prefer diapers to manage my incontinence, and my doctor respects my decision.

 

[HalMidLife]

It is true, that doctors and urologists in the uk are anti diapers. They do tend to lean towards using catheters or sheaths. I have tried both, and hatted both.

Sometimes a catheter has been necessary, but i prefer diapers to manage my incontinence, and my doctor respects my decision.

On the flip side, this reminds me of how my doctor said <words to the effect> "I could prescribe medication that might help, but there are a lot of side effects, and you seem to be doing fine with wearing protection - I absolutely recommend staying that course".

 

[hbic60]

On the flip side, this reminds me of how my doctor said <words to the effect> "I could prescribe medication that might help, but there are a lot of side effects, and you seem to be doing fine with wearing protection - I absolutely recommend staying that course".

Do you also live in Germany and might have the same doc than me?
Mine told me exactly the same with my first big talk and examinations concerning my UIC. As long as I have no issues with wearing protection I should simply continue, if whenever I change my mind I should come back to him and we could give some meds a try, but he also warned about side effects and that I shouldn‘t expect healing but maximum only a reducing of the urges…

 

[HalMidLife]

Do you also live in Germany and might have the same doc than me?
Mine told me exactly the same with my first big talk and examinations concerning my UIC. As long as I have no issues with wearing protection I should simply continue, if whenever I change my mind I should come back to him and we could give some meds a try, but he also warned about side effects and that I shouldn‘t expect healing but maximum only a reducing of the urges…

I'm in Canada. From what I've heard, for incontinence, it seems to be more about how the individual doctor tends to practice. Some doctors seem to have a more "pill oriented" practice as their default, whereas mine likes to avoid those so long as it's not detrimental. He definitely was concerned that I was "doing ok" with wearing pullups or diapers and not experiencing any mental distress. I was 100% honest with him when I said "I really don't seem to mind them. I thought I would, but they really aren't a big deal for me"

 

[LittleAndAlone]

The sales clerk, apparently aware of the incident, must have been flustered because she forgot to disable the security tag, and when I left the store my new panties set off the alarm! A security guard came running after me, demanding to see what was in my bag and whether I had a receipt, which I did have, fortunately.

I've never had this happen to me in any context but I always imagine how awkward the conversation might go.

Unarmed security: "what's in the bag."

Me: "Just my Glock 19 gen 5 with Trijicon optic and some other tools like a Kershaw Blur, a 21700 light, CATs, etc., nothing they sell here."

Unarmed security: "..."

womp womp