Stigma

[Myday2]

Why is their such a stigma buying incontience products just been to shop to get some supplies and the look I got and heard the girl behind me or she sets herself at her age make you feel shit but I also turned around and look happy instead of skying away. I do think the kink side of it isn’t helping.

 

[Edgewater]

I do not believe that there is a stigma to wearing and especially not buying incontinent care /support products, Only Stupid People that have yet to experience them for their own us or those of a family member.

I have zero problem confronting their stupidity and providing clarity as to why I am not only a buyer, but a user. If simple words seem not to convey an understanding, I ask if they need to see the scares from the numerous surgeries where my good doctors stitched me make together? At that point, they commonly get it and further clarity is not required.

You feeling like shit has no foundation as incontinent is not a choice! You did not choose to be physically, medically or mentally effected.

Even if you are choosing to wear, you should never allow shallow individuals effect you!

 

[ILuvDiapers]

Why is their such a stigma buying incontience products just been to shop to get some supplies and the look I got and heard the girl behind me or she sets herself at her age make you feel shit but I also turned around and look happy instead of skying away. I do think the kink side of it isn’t helping.

Why not just purchase what you need from an online supplier? It's usually cheaper, more choice, free delivery if you order a certain amount, and you never have to experience ignorance or stigma.

 

[hbic60]

I also do not see a stigma to wearing and especially not buying incontinent care /support products! You can buy diapers freely without any restrictions in nearly every supermarket, pharmacy, drugstore, or online in several shops, just like any other hygiene product like toilet paper, female pads, tampons and all the other stuff. You don't need any recipe, you even don't have to show your ID card for age proof, just go and buy whatever you need or want! I really don't get it why some people feel ashamed or embarrassed with buying or to be seen with a package of diapers... do they have the same feelings with being seen with a pack of toilet paper in their hands ?!?! What's the difference?

 

[ianwee]

Why is their such a stigma buying incontience products just been to shop to get some supplies and the look I got and heard the girl behind me or she sets herself at her age make you feel shit but I also turned around and look happy instead of skying away. I do think the kink side of it isn’t helping.

There shouldn't really be any stigma in buying IC products for anyone, whether they be a user themselves, or buying them on behalf of another person. You shouldn't feel bad about yourself even if other people give you funny looks or say unpleasant things. There is nothing at all wrong with buying IC things, but sadly some people might still say things that are inappropriate and unkind, and perhaps it's best to just ignore them.

 

[JDCH]

Nobody knows who you are buying for or the reasons behind doing so. I have bought for myself because it is my fetish but I also bought for my mother in her final weeks of life because cancer had robbed her of her ability to control her bodily functions.

If someone questions me, my response is pretty confrontational — “It’s none of your f-ing business, is it?”

 

[newt]

While I agree with @Edgewater and @hbic60 that you shouldn't feel ashamed and embarrassed, I do think there is a stigma. If there wasn't, we wouldn't get posts so frequently with people struggling with new incontinence issues and having a very difficult time. I myself went through the process when my problems first started. I still can't change in our office floors bathroom if there is someone else in it.

I agree that we, as a community, shouldn't feel this way. But a lot of us do. Especially in the beginning. The way out of these feelings is exactly what the people in this thread have mentioned. The stigma does exist, but it does seem to exist more in our own heads than in reality.

 

[greatlake5]

Stigma for purchasing? No. Simply buy online. If you can't, don't worry. 99% of people don't care.

Now if you happened to be leaking your diaper and others notice? A little different. Most respect an IC person. They understand that it's a medical issue. I had just posted about stigma. I had been in a grocery store and I had flooded my diaper. I thought I'd be okay but apparently it wasn't. A mother laughed when her child noticed. That's stigma. I looked at her when she looked at me. I simply shrugged, winked and moved on. Her look was priceless. Let's face it, some people are thoughtless when someone is wearing a diaper because they are IC. I've always been IC. You would think it doesn't bother you. But it does (most of the time). Sometimes I use this as a teaching moment. Educate. And move on.

 

[SparkyDog]

The stigma is drilled into you from childhood
Diapers are for babies and only for babies. Some point in the past someone decided that shame, embarrassment, bullying, threats & teasing was the best way to get kids to stop wearing diapers. Everyone jumped on board, Kids & adults

It does take time to personally break the stigma, I was always nervous & ashamed I had to buy & wear. I don't anymore but it's tough to break through.
Getting others on board for many is near impossible.
I can say who cares what the cashier thinks but I understand still makes it uncomfortable.
It does get easier with time.

 

[Wetshisbed]

The stigma is drilled into you from childhood
Diapers are for babies and only for babies. Some point in the past someone decided that shame, embarrassment, bullying, threats & teasing was the best way to get kids to stop wearing diapers. Everyone jumped on board, Kids & adults

It does take time to personally break the stigma, I was always nervous & ashamed I had to buy & wear. I don't anymore but it's tough to break through.
Getting others on board for many is near impossible.
I can say who cares what the cashier thinks but I understand still makes it uncomfortable.
It does get easier with time.

It is far worse when you are in your late teens and early 20s and still sleeping in nappies because you still wet the bed most if not every night. Fortunately my friends were fine with it and all knew I still wet the bed. As I got older and my bedwetting came back I think it is a lot easier. No one seams to bat an eyelid when they find out I wear nappies.

 

[ILuvDiapers]

Stigma for purchasing? No. Simply buy online. If you can't, don't worry. 99% of people don't care.

Now if you happened to be leaking your diaper and others notice? A little different. Most respect an IC person. They understand that it's a medical issue. I had just posted about stigma. I had been in a grocery store and I had flooded my diaper. I thought I'd be okay but apparently it wasn't. A mother laughed when her child noticed. That's stigma. I looked at her when she looked at me. I simply shrugged, winked and moved on. Her look was priceless. Let's face it, some people are thoughtless when someone is wearing a diaper because they are IC. I've always been IC. You would think it doesn't bother you. But it does (most of the time). Sometimes I use this as a teaching moment. Educate. And move on.

Good for you! It's unfortunate when you experience a leak in a public setting, but accidents happen. It's very true that thoughtless people exist everywhere, but i also think that mostly people are respectful.

 

[SparkyDog]

It is far worse when you are in your late teens and early 20s and still sleeping in nappies because you still wet the bed most if not every night. Fortunately my friends were fine with it and all knew I still wet the bed. As I got older and my bedwetting came back I think it is a lot easier. No one seams to bat an eyelid when they find out I wear nappies.

I know its tough
The diaper stigma is alive and well unfortunately. I see no end to it and future generations will experience the same thing we did

 

[BuddyBoy]

When I was dating I made it a practice to tell the women early in the relationship that I was a wetter. None resonated to it but most were understanding about my “habit”. Occasionally one would say that she did not want to see me again because of the stigma of dating someone with such an infantile habit.

 

[HalMidLife]

As much as I'm happy to be at a point where I don't personally care if someone notices what I'm wearing, or sees what I'm buying, and as much as I hope that everyone who wears protection will also "be there" in their journey, my own sense of being at ease doesn't equate to there being "no stigma". I think it diminishes the reality of the stigma to say it's not there because someone else isn't bothered by it.

 

[Deleted member 73722]

Sweetie I really hope that you've had your questions answered on this because as most have said "its not you that has a prolbem" it's those that have been brainwashed that this is not right. How do they know if it's even for you in the first place.
Way back I'd have to buy things for my wife that women needed.
The thought that everyone was questioning why I was buying these things made me self conscious about what I was buying.
Then I came to the point that it was none of their dam business. Who are these ppl to be questioning my purchase.
It's more in your mindset than it is yours. You will learn to ignore these ppl in time.
My wife seen the way ppl looked at me anytime I went out to a restaurant. She taught me to turn the tables on them and had me pretend I was mentaly challenged to be wearing what I was.
Then just before we'd leave we would go back to normal laughing out loud at them.
The looks we'd get left them pissed off. I'm surprised that some of them didn't need what I was wearing as pissed off as some would get knowing that they've been had.
Ignor these ppl as most of us have learned.
Good luck sweetie

 

[Deleted member 39574]

It is far worse when you are in your late teens and early 20s and still sleeping in nappies because you still wet the bed most if not every night. Fortunately my friends were fine with it and all knew I still wet the bed. As I got older and my bedwetting came back I think it is a lot easier. No one seams to bat an eyelid when they find out I wear nappies.

I think your right about the age thing. I sometimes order online but sometimes I buy at the store if I run out of supply which more often happens when I need more daytime pullups. Im an older guy now so nobody pays attention. But at the big superstore where I usually buy because they have better sales theres a whole aisle of IC supplies, covering all ages and sizes and all needs from bed pads to full size overnight products. Nobody has ever said anything to me about it and now that they have the self-pay terminals I don't even have to go to a cashier. There's an old saying to just go with the flow that can be interpreted in more than one way.

 

[pupizu]

I'm personally at a point where I don't give an F what people think, but I'm also just used to doing as I please more or less. I have purchased IC products before, mostly for an elderly friend. (I only have mild IC and it's not most of the time.) No one seemed to notice or care, that said I'm autistic and have a hard time picking up on social cues.

 

[Myday2]

Why not just purchase what you need from an online supplier? It's usually cheaper, more choice, free delivery if you order a certain amount, and you never have to experience ignorance or stigma.

Because I like to in shops keep them open

 

[iatec779]

The stigma is drilled into you from childhood
Diapers are for babies and only for babies. Some point in the past someone decided that shame, embarrassment, bullying, threats & teasing was the best way to get kids to stop wearing diapers. Everyone jumped on board, Kids & adults

It does take time to personally break the stigma, I was always nervous & ashamed I had to buy & wear. I don't anymore but it's tough to break through.
Getting others on board for many is near impossible.
I can say who cares what the cashier thinks but I understand still makes it uncomfortable.
It does get easier with time.

This is 100% correct! I don’t get why potty training and wearing a diaper has to be so shameful. Many ways to teach kids how to use a potty and putting shame and pressure on them shouldn’t be one of them. They can’t help it. When they’re ready they are ready. And some take into teen years.
I had many accidents as a child and I felt this shame up until my parents got divorced at like 12 years old. It was horrible and I still don’t speak to my father 30 years later.
Society placing shame on anyone wearing a diaper over 2 years old has created this stigma and unfortunately, not changing quick enough.

 

[Myday2]

Thank you for all kind words I don’t care about wearing my close friends and family know I do I have to as I’ve been ic Sind ei was 16 just snotty people but I’m good know