Self confidence

[mickdl]

Hi Ellyn,

People can be just plain evil sometimes. I think it's just important to understand that it has nothing to do with yourself, it's their problem. Unfortunately, this is not always easy - because some people are just experts in giving you a bad feeling and spreading self-doubt. Maybe it is a prejudice - but I think women can be much meaner among themselves.

My experience is, that it get easier if you have a community and friends who are behind you and to have a task from which you get self-affirmation. Especially the last was very important for me. A long time ago I had just the wrong job and for me nothing is worse then doing things that I don‘t like just for the money. Luckily I was able to change this and that teaches me to know who I am, what I can do and to know that I‘m pretty good in the things that I‘m doing.
At the end it a question of the mindset. I‘m not sure. - but my feeling is, that this is often much harder for women then for men to develop such a self-confindence because traditional gender roles conflicting this. Men have other problems here - like „Heros were no diapers“ but this is a different story…

 

[LordDuque]

This topic has likely been touched on before but I thought I’d chat about it for a minute.
I’m likely one of the minorities here being female, though I hope not. Just generally speaking, women are probably less confident than their male counterparts in many aspects of life, one being appearance. I believe that fellow women are often responsible for much of appearance sensitivity issues, which is a shame. I feel I am often criticized by my sisters out there with regards to my short height, wide hips, big boobs, you name it, like tearing others apart somehow builds them up. I’m particularly sensitive about my walk, usually because of the fullness of my butt, bulge in front, and bulk between my legs. My butt is actually very slender but when I put two ‘thinner’ cloth prefold diapers on, they round it out quite a bit, to what I consider a ‘normal’ size. With that, the diaper bulge in front is a byproduct, which I’m always cognizant about. The appropriate control brief or body briefer is VERY important to minimize the effects of wearing double diapers all day. What’s more important though is the fullness between my legs that effect to some degree my walk. With that, I’m very fortunate to have very slender thighs coupled with my wide hips results in a wider space between my legs for the diaper bulk to occupy. Still, I’m always aware about my walk, in particular my sway. I think that men think my butt and skirt sway is sexy (I hope) but women can tear you apart with a disapproving glance. Case and point, I was at a mall a few years ago doing a little lunch time shopping and needed to change. I was wearing cloth that day so as I was changing, two women came in the restroom talking about that slut in the black dress…. As they talked on, I realized they were talking about me! They were tearing me apart about my walk…. saying I must be wearing a diaper...!! They also remarked about my big boobs, saying they can’t be real. I guess that they didn’t realize I was feet away from them, hearing every hurtful word that made me tear up, but i maintained my composure somehow. Well, as you can imagine, that destroyed my self confidence, and continues to haunt me to this day. Being incontinent is hard enough so when you have to be aware of every move you make, trying to be inconspicuous about your diaper, it can lead to a very stressful day. I find myself wearing lower cut necklines that expose a little cleavage to distract from my diaper area. If I’m going to be body shamed, I’d much rather have it be about my big boobs and not speculation about being diapered.
With that, I try to never criticize anyone in any way. Obviously words can cut, but a disapproving expression is often worse.

It’s sad to hear how mean can people be, more when themselves think it can be due to a health problem, I understand how that could have affected to your self confidence. But you know most people don’t have those attitudes fortunately, and even it’s very easy to say but hard to do, that’s the kind of things that should be ignored for your own stability. Furthermore they don’t deserve a single second of your time. Thanks for your post and as the others did in the precedent ones I wish you courage to overcome situations like that even better than before. Regards

 

[BlameBaby]

Thank you all for your kindness.
These days, I’m good and I don’t think of the past much but when I do, I either face it or end up becoming depressed. Facing my past involves talking it out with my husband or sharing it on sites like this. I’m not looking for sympathy but just to get it out and maybe.be a testimonial for others.

you're a miracle a don't your no different than anyone else here. Everyone else here Is loved.

 

[smnapp]

This is a great topic for discussion.

During the pandemic is when my incontinence reached a point I felt like I needed to wear diapers during the day (after wearing for bed wetting for years). I was mostly concerned about wearing diapers around people I work with. With the pandemic in full force, most of the people were working from home.

Once people started coming back to the office, I had to figure out how to handle myself. I decided to hold my head high and not worry about what others might see, hear, or think.

I have been fortunate to not have been treated any differently. As far as I know, no one is aware (other than immediate family).

I feel for anyone that’s had to deal with negative looks or comments.

 

[nappy_pants]

At the time that must have been an awful situation to be in, I too am really sensitive to the point it kind of hinders me in life and that would certainly have triggered me too. As I've gotten older I've realised life really is too short to worry about what others think about me. They are no better than me and so would should I care what their opinion of me is.

Those two 'ladies' would do good to remember that when you point a finger at someone else, you have three fingers pointing back at you.

 

[Incontinent2]

Sorry to hear that happened to you. Some people like to talk about others and run them down just to make them feel better about themselves. Being incontinent myself I've learned my diapers are just another type of underwear and sometimes my diaper bulge is somewhat noticeable especially if I'm wearing cloth then its alwaysnoticeable. I figure if someone has a problem with it it's their problem. Keep your head high, and be proud of yourself and who you are. We each were made the way we are for a reason that we may not be aware of.

 

[chamberpot]

Thank you all for your kindness.
These days, I’m good and I don’t think of the past much but when I do, I either face it or end up becoming depressed. Facing my past involves talking it out with my husband or sharing it on sites like this. I’m not looking for sympathy but just to get it out and maybe.be a testimonial for others.

Being able to talk with someone is always good, it is so hard on us because you can't just bring this topic up at coffee with friends. having a SO that you can vent to really helps. This forum is so essential for my well being the ability to talk to others.