Most incontinence embarrassed you've ever been?

[NappiedTruckDriver]

I also have accidental discharges to.

I’ve got an unexpected one today , like I didn’t wipe after pooping , but I did and it’s been 2 diaper changes and 11 hours since

 

[sport1]

I’ve got an unexpected one today , like I didn’t wipe after pooping , but I did and it’s been 2 diaper changes and 11 hours since

I know the feeling.

 

[Eclectic]

I’ve had too many embarrassing accidents over the years for me to pick the worst one. Fortunately, not very many of them involved other people who knew what had happened, or maybe they knew but didn’t say anything. Mostly, the embarrassment was my own.

One I can share was during high school. I was at a house party and was stoned and drunk, a bad combination for accidentally loosing control. I remember suddenly needing to poop and people waiting in line to use the guest bathroom. Before I could figure out a solution, I was pooping my pants. I walked outside the house, went behind a bush, and removed my soiled underwear and poop. Then I went back into the house and found an unused bathroom and cleaned up the rest of the way. To my knowledge, no one knew what had happened.

Note: I grew up in the 70’s and 80’s and the availability of protection in those days was sparse. In addition, my mom actively discouraged me from wearing diapers, even though I needed them on occasion.

Final note (I promise): I’ve wet and messed myself unintentionally in so many situations, thousands really. The key is with leaks or messes is to not panic, act normally, and find a place to change as soon as possible.

 

[Mathew]

The most embarrassing incontinence incident for me was in a grocery store. I had experienced a few small wetting accidents, little leaks when I couldn't get to the bathroom quick enough. While I was shopping without hardly any warning I just started peeing my pants and for the first time I couldn't stop. I stood there in shock and completely emptied my bladder to the point I actually left a puddle on the floor. People around me noticed and I was so embarrassed but what can you do, accidents happen literally. I didn't have any choice so I just went on shopping as if it was nothing out of the ordinary but I did purchase diapers that day. That's also when I started wearing 24/7.

 

[Wetshisbed]

Happened to me a couple of times before I switched to nappies full time.

 

[sport1]

The most embarrassing incontinence incident for me was in a grocery store. I had experienced a few small wetting accidents, little leaks when I couldn't get to the bathroom quick enough. While I was shopping without hardly any warning I just started peeing my pants and for the first time I couldn't stop. I stood there in shock and completely emptied my bladder to the point I actually left a puddle on the floor. People around me noticed and I was so embarrassed but what can you do, accidents happen literally. I didn't have any choice so I just went on shopping as if it was nothing out of the ordinary but I did purchase diapers that day. That's also when I started wearing 24/7.

I also had something like that only there was no puddle.

 

[furry121]

Like alot of other post like these sorry for novel

I have a bunch of things happen and honestly though I probably should have a scale of how embarrassing something was over something else. Also there are situations where I get embarrassed or feel depressed what I call situational depression(like not overall depressed but a situation makes.me) like if someone asks about them or if I need a/to change or need diapers(like I have done all my rehab at once place and still go there so they know me so was there last yr and as I was leaving the therapist was like this room is open for you to get changed and if you forgot there is plenty of diapers and stuff in the cabinet I was little embarrassed because I almost forgot I was wet, when I did aqua therapy they had a similar setup or designated spot where changes happen and I know not only one that uses it or their diapers but it's like reminder, I feel stupid when I forget to change or pack diapers) , and it might not be noticable like I have had my share of leaks where I don't think anyone noticed but it's a self esteem gut check. Also I do think what our worse may not be like someone else's almost like my worse pain can different but I do think we all have had events that were equally embarrassing.

As I mentioned in other posts for me incont is only part of my disability, though of my medical conditions associated with my disability it's one that does cause a wide range not feelings. Also I won't go into full detail but I got hurt while at work so basically after that everything changed and I lost many dreams and I have a diverse background and an Alpha Type but I went from being reliable or one to help others and alot of my embarrassment is because of who I was and because I have worked in healthcare I have recognized people who I know which alone is hard pill but to be one that helped to needing help is a pride check. Think pride in one's self or how we view ourselves doesn't help.

So it's like few mentioned and have seen in other posts but when I first got hurt/disabled and was relying on full care and not sure what more embarrassing at time to be fully cared for basically besides eating I needed help with everything and because I had a spinal cord injury retention is a common issue so if being diapered by someone else usually same age or younger and a female was embarrassing when they straight cathed me was equally as embarrassing though I suppose for a female it has to be close or the same if male were to aid them. During this time I honestly think the most embarrassing moments were: There are many tests to confirm spinal cord or Neuro related injuries that can't be faked or they happen involuntary it's like when a medical provider scrapes the bottom of your foot and your toes curl or move it's called a Babinski Reflex, well one test think called a BCR they put a finger one place and do something with privates looking for reflex being a teaching hospital though embarrassing at times with I reason from working in healthcare I will let a student observe or if they are confident potentially let them do something (when I was learning to intubate or put tubes in people to breath I needed their permission and everything invasive I did as a student I needed to ask permission so I personally understand how it feels to be a student and some awkward moments for me awkward was my obgyn rotation) so when doc asked if his student could be in the room and if depending on exam if she could preform it though embarrassed like a DC just focus on something else or at times would listen to headphones so imagine rolled on your side undiapered where I flipped out was after second student when doc tried to have every student doc come try it think my comment i wasn't his personal sexdoll to lock an prod like he does his sheep and actually fired the doc from my care team and filed a complaint (I actually never seen that doc on the floor after I complained) from nurses he was suspended not sure if true but what he did and tried to was huge violation again I get students need to learn but after what I experiences I don't allow students if I can help it but like when I needed to be changed that's something I couldn't control. Also think the other top embarrassing had to be when I involuntary peed while being changed fortunately for the nurse 1st time it was when she rolled me so I didn't pee on her and don't think I actually peed on any of them but have had fountains so while being changed they used everything from size 6 diapers-larger ones but for most part they used youth/small or sz6 they would untape me and while covered they would put dry one over male parts sz6 and youth provided coverage and protection which worked the only bad part was when they forgot to remove it and usually had leaks but when they checked me the front or line would be fine but the bed pad be soaked (unlike a booster it doesn't flow through yes it would over flow but mainly run to back so as embarrassing as being changed was had to ask if they removed other diaper or I would pull it out after they left. The last super embarrassing during intial having to be diapered was because hospital ones are junk at night they would put multiple diapers on me so which I was able to get some sleep and even though I can't feel I do remember once getting into my wheelchair or a chair after being changed and though I can't feel it my legs wouldn't close and really embarrassed because even with sweat pants there was no hiding in was wearing diapers and when that nurse was getting ready to leave she awoke to change me and was like looks like 7 is the right amount (I did learn years later that double diapering wasn't allowed or considered neglect so wonder what 7 would be considered)

Think the next was when I was in rehab though they had better diapers than the hospital I learned about Molicare online and as embarrassing as it was when the aid opened the package and was like are you sure these are for you which I didn't understand till she held up a purple diaper and said they were cute( of the words I was hoping for that wasn't one) but it's honestly where things changed literally though I could only afford to use them at night and days I had longer PT sessions it's when I potentially saw my life wasn't going to be controlled by IC she actually changed me into them and for one day I was actually able to feel human or wasn't being changed every 2-3hrs. But for like first week or so every morning I was asked why I had girl diapers on when I was changed and even though they worked it was embarrassing not only to be in diapers but be wearing cute purple ones and it was also even better once they learned of the times I awoke I wasn't being awoken in middle of night like everyone else but I am a deep sleeper so I have slept through many and it's a really weird feeling to awake fully dressed or having different clothes and diaper on when you were last awake. But it wasn't first time I heard they were cute or girly which really didn't help my feelings when my aid started at my home (I wasn't total full care I could do some on my own but still needed help, though I stopped in home aids I do have days i miss the extra help and appreciate what they did) I was awoken to her ringing my doorbell and than a phone call to tell her how to get in though I met her beforehand it was her first day and though I been diapered by many or many seen them there are times I get embarrassed or depressed with that situation so she was like how about we get you changed and dress than will make breakfast when she started I hear why are you wear these cute umm I mean girl diaoers and had to explain about Molicares and overtime she understood the need for the night diapers and boosters(looking back I do wish I could of afforded them all the time it would.of.save some embarrassment)

Another kind of embarrassing moment has been telling friends or those like family to me and even though none have done anything negatively and honestly alot helped me it's embarrassing though. I think one of the most embarrassing ones but also most helpful was I had family (not blood) they had a special needs child but he mainly lived in a group home because it was better overall for him but he was home for holidays and various other times and they visited him few times a week. But their house was one of the first I went to one because I have been there before my injury so knew their house was accessible so didn't have to worry(there home was built around their kids special needs) & because of our friendship before my injury even slept in guest room(rhis was like 4-5yrs after my injury, but was one of my holiday stops or ends or used to be) when I got there they were excited to see me as we were getting in she was like if you need to, use her son's bathroom you know where it is. As they were setting up for dinner they asked me to stay the night and it's been forever since we had a fun night and because their son wasn't there I could use his room as had everything including the bathroom and shower because I didn't plan on staying anyone with IC alone knows you can't really do spontaneous spinal cord is worse. But I turned them down and was like I have to use the bathroom I went changed and as I was coming out of the bathroom she stopped me and like give me a good reason you can't stay so I was like oh I didn't pack anything next time will plan on it she was like look your about my husbands size you can borrow something and was like I appreciate it but I can't and she was like listen of it's because you wear diapers we probably have your size and by the amount of changes you have made since you got here what we get is much better here let me show you she opened the closet and it was full of supplies and she was like ok so you don't have an excuse now also because when been there I will help you get better supplies and everything you need, I was still very embarrassed and she was like here try these and please do me a favor even though it's clean we use this table here for changes please use this vs the bathroom floor and I will put the bin out for you take whatever you need(they are why I have a table and use a bin for supplies) why don't you get changed into that one and I will go finish dinner it took me little bit to process what happened and was super embarrassed I ended up having a great night and spent many night there but they are the ones that taught me about Medicaid and how to get ATN's other supplies including my changing table as well as some much other stuff also where I learned about onesies and it was the last time I had to worry about diapers sticking out. But the friendship goes both ways and though I can't top the help they gave me we always shared info besides that one time she rarely brought up. But like I don't tell everyone or all my friends just ones like family and even than some it comes up and some if doesn't but like I went to a concert with a close friend and as we were leaving I asked if she could stop on way back I had to use a the bathroom, I forgot she knew and she was like I am just going to pull over out back here and fold down the seats and you can just change and I was really embarrassed but it was another situation that just worked out, while I was changing she jokingly said something to point of she didn't want me leaking on her new seats & since her kids been out of them she hasn't had to worry about it, so anytime I needed to change just ask and because I made fun of her car often she was like best part of a hatch back seat fold down for DC's bet your truck doesn't have a changing table though she got a newer one I still make fun of her car ha

There are probably many others I forgot about over the last 10+years but know there will probably be many more leaks, though hope not but probably blowouts or daytime Fecal IC and other things that I will feel super embarrassed about or just feel stupid and this isn't meant as disrespect but where I am not into abdl stuff there are times I feel like a helpless baby and thats depressing to me or like I went from badass to baby & a zero in a blink of an eye though I have accepted most of my disabilities it's like being paralyzed though accepted like other day flipped my chair though embarrassed and not sure if pride was hurt more. I have accepted diapers but have stuff happen and feels like a reminder but even though I abused my body over the years and have had one hell of a ride being stuck in a chair maybe the chapter the ride will be kind of easier (what I did in my late teens-30's not something I really can top) but hope to have some fun and honestly it's a different kind of fun though I know something embarrassing will happen but am not going to stop living knowing something may happen it's like jumping out of perfect airplanes there you have 2 chances you never do it again but we strive to get it on the first and superman got out after his injury and though I was a badass no disrespect of the dead but it has to suck to go from Superman to that end of the day he lived till he was unplugged.

Have u tried rearz adult diapers I think there called incontrol elite? Found them a few months back

https://www.amazon.com/Rearz-Inspire-Original-Incontinence-Briefs/dp/B07PSDRRG3

I have cp on my left side I plan on making these my daily go to..
Iam much like u as in the whole Alpha male type even I don't like asking for help even after being sedated and after procedure nurse said your stubborn thinking u can walk without help should have just took her help and allowed her to change me seeing as I was trying to go to the bathroom to change myself

 

[ParaRomeo]

Have u tried rearz adult diapers I think there called incontrol elite? Found them a few months back

I actually have and I use or used Rearz Inspire + Overnights (unfortunately they have been stop being made) luckily I got few cases. The ones you linked are very close to stayed capacity. I have used a few ABDL brand diapers mainly ones without prints for what I consider special use basically anytime where changes are impossible or next to impossible to do(being paralyzed I can't stand). But a case of 36 can last 2-3 months as my daily Abena L4 Boosters with a booster works quite well for the times where I may need extra absorbency but can change easily.

Though I will probably be corrected but I think they are the same owners though 2 separate companies basically an abdl company and a medical company(I can understand having the separation) but it does get little confusing as they don't sell all the same products nor have same offers, but where I was going with it is if you go to Incontrol's website they have a trial pack for sale of the Incontrol line(1 of each diaper) or you can buy samples of others I am not sure what they charge for shipping but from them is slightly cheaper. But Rearz does have some plain white that are comparable to their printed ones.

The Wiff solid black or purple(rearz only & being phased out) are both great choices as well if you wanted something besides all white(not into babyish prints, colors if seen unintentionally don't stick out as much as white does also how many have shinny white undies)

should have just took her help and allowed her to change me

For me there is time & place, though I try to be as independent as possible. Throughout the many yrs there are times where medically helped is needed, though not something I look forward to. Though my experiences can be different but many staff appreciate when someone takes care of themselves but same token they know when someone isn't able to, like I have been super sick and had staff insist or have had times where I ask for "some" help like I think I can do some but may need help & I have had mix some let me do what I can they do rest as well as I have had some be like I appreciate you offering but we can do it quicker

In the example you gave it seems like one of those times if your unable to safely do it than it makes sense & I don't think they would of had an issue of helping especially if you have a medical condition like CP with deficits. I am just little confused if your incont why were you trying to go to the bathroom to change vs doing it in the room.

By your example it's not what what you did but the biggest issue I have is when someone that isn't incont tries to get staff to change them or if they are but asks for help when it's not needed. But alot of people that are incont usually don't ask for help & usually staff just asks so they can note it

 

[Zeke]

Last year about this time I flew to Houston to drive back a car that I had bought on a internet. This was when the pandemic fear was peaking and many retailers had closed their restrooms to the public, something that I’d failed to take into consideration. This resulted in the Abena Abri-Form M-4 that I was wearing during the trip being extremely overextended. Walking into convenience stores, seeking a restroom in which to change, carrying my backpack of supplies with large wet spots on the rear of my jeans was highly embarrassing. The only saving grace was that I didn’t know any of these folks and I was never going to see them again. I was also highly concerned about the driver’s seat retaining the pee odor, and it being propagated throughout the car when I turned on the heated seat, but VW used some artificial leather like material that resisted pee very well. This scarcity of restrooms resulted in me changing in the car, with the driver’s seat reclined, the first night when I couldn’t find a facility open to the public.

 

[richieboy]

The reply I started writing to this thread isn't really a diaper failure, so I thought I'd start a new once since incontinence can be embarrassing even when our diapers work.

The only catastrophic incident since I've been in diapers was really just completely embarrassing, even though the diaper didn't fail. Carpooled with some friends to see a 3 hour play. I decided to leave my changing bag at home and just wear an overnight diaper with a booster, since we'd be sitting in the dark the whole time. Well I had a full on bowel movement right as I stood up during intermission, and everyone around us heard it. This was at the very beginning of my IBS issues, before I started using plastic pants during the day. My friends know that I'm incontinent, but not like that. So I tried to play it off as gas and linger for a few minutes before rushing to the restroom, which at this point had a line out the door. Inside it was packed. When I finally got into the one stall I tried to clean up as best I could without wipes while people were standing around waiting to use the stall. Booster contained most of the accident, but I still had to wrap it up with just toilet paper and throw it away in front of a bunch of guys, including one of my friends. Not to mention having to re-tape a slightly messy diaper and then wear it for another 90 minutes, plus the short car ride home.

The most embarrassing part was actually in private after we got back. My fiance has always remained supportive but I hadn't told her that I'd been starting to have bowel issues. So we had to have that conversation right after I got out of the shower, and it was the only time she's ever yelled at me for anything to do with my incontinence. Basically saying it's not a big deal as long as you manage it and calling me an idiot for leaving all of my changing stuff at home "if you know that you might sh*t yourself in front of our friends".... when I tried explaining that it had only happened a few times and never in public, she ended the conversation by saying "it just did" :/

I ended up falling asleep on the couch, and when I checked my phone the next morning I realized she had stayed up all night reading (and emailing me) "resources" about managing IBS. We talked about it some more over breakfast and both of us apologized, so it ended on a positive note. A few days later I felt embarrassed again when I saw one of my diapers in her purse (she'd never done this before) but instead of bringing it up directly I bought her a much smaller purse as a surprise gift and said something about how if it's too small she can always keep some things in my changing bag since I'll always have it with me

Before I realized I needed diapers, I was at dinner with my wife and her clients, at The Palm restaurant . Too many martinis later, i peed my suit pants, and had to hide it. Thank God they were dark and it did not show.

 

[joyanna]

I am not fully incontinent, but I have MS and it has definitely done its fair sharing of messing with my systems. I started to have leakage over a year ago and most recently having had covid and a horrible cough I was literally beyond that to full on peeing my pants multiple times a day. I’ve started wearing some sort of protection. Even that wasn’t enough to help when I was on a flight recently. I peed every time I coughed and even with several layers of protection, it soaked through and my pants were visibly wet. I thought fast and tied a sweatshirt around my waist then changed in the airport bathroom.
My FI issue has only happened once, but I’ve had about a dozen near misses. A few years after getting my gallbladder removed all hell broke loose with my GI system. I struggled with constipation all of my life and now it’s the complete opposite. I’ve had up to 16 BM’s in a single day, none of them solid. I have almost pooped my pants while shopping, driving, and just going about life. That "knock" at the back door comes and most of the time there's an urgent need to find a restroom. Once I had just picked up my kids from school and I was dropping them off at their dad's house when that emergency urge hit me. I beelined for the closest convenience store and when my kids asked why I told them if we didn't that that particular detour I was going to poop my pants, for real. They were both understanding as I had been open about my GI issues and had even been on leave from work while they were investigated. I appreciate that they are kind kids. Another time I beelined home and was feet from the door when I didn't quite make it. I felt the release and the horror of realizing there was now a small amount of poop in my underwear. Of course I didn't want to believe it and didn't fully until once in the bathroom I was able to lower my pants and inspect the damage. I threw those underwear away. And ever since I live in fear of a much worse repeat so I'm exploring the idea of heavier protection at least for those days when I wake up with a wicked stomach.

 

[slimjiminy]

I am not fully incontinent, but I have MS and it has definitely done its fair sharing of messing with my systems.... I’ve had up to 16 BM’s in a single day, none of them solid. I have almost pooped my pants while shopping, driving, and just going about life. That "knock" at the back door comes and most of the time there's an urgent need to find a restroom..... And ever since I live in fear of a much worse repeat...

I fully sympathize with your plight. I have diabetic nerve damage that has left me with IBS-d (diarrhea) if I don't avoid certain foods. In fact, my first fecal accident happened almost a year before I knew I was becoming (urinary) incontinent. Thankfully, nobody in the office saw my distress at that time.

Through research and experimentation, I found that if I avoid the following, my situation is much improved:

• Avoid oily foods, like fast food (especially hash browns).
• This includes microwave popcorn because of the cooking oils they use.
• Avoid spicy foods (else pay the price!)
• Avoid apples/sauce/juices etc.
• Avoid pears for the same reason
• Avoid cruciferous vegetables (for me it was coleslaw/cabbage, but includes cauliflower, asparagus etc.)
• Coffee/Tea (caffeine)

I still have a coffee in the morning if I am staying home, else it is a bit risky. Abstaining from that list has substantially improved my "personal safety".

I do love popcorn, since it is one of the few things I can enjoy as a diabetic, which is nearly free as far as glucose levels go. If you shop carefully, you can buy movie-like popcorn made without the cooking oils. You just have to manage the sodium levels.

Anyway, give that list a try to see if it helps.

I still wear daily protection (living in fear) for both urinary and fecal incontinence but I can downgrade to cheaper options now unless I feel the threat is likely. It's cheaper to throw away a diaper than to replace stained clothes.

 

[sport1]

I am not fully incontinent, but I have MS and it has definitely done its fair sharing of messing with my systems. I started to have leakage over a year ago and most recently having had covid and a horrible cough I was literally beyond that to full on peeing my pants multiple times a day. I’ve started wearing some sort of protection. Even that wasn’t enough to help when I was on a flight recently. I peed every time I coughed and even with several layers of protection, it soaked through and my pants were visibly wet. I thought fast and tied a sweatshirt around my waist then changed in the airport bathroom.
My FI issue has only happened once, but I’ve had about a dozen near misses. A few years after getting my gallbladder removed all hell broke loose with my GI system. I struggled with constipation all of my life and now it’s the complete opposite. I’ve had up to 16 BM’s in a single day, none of them solid. I have almost pooped my pants while shopping, driving, and just going about life. That "knock" at the back door comes and most of the time there's an urgent need to find a restroom. Once I had just picked up my kids from school and I was dropping them off at their dad's house when that emergency urge hit me. I beelined for the closest convenience store and when my kids asked why I told them if we didn't that that particular detour I was going to poop my pants, for real. They were both understanding as I had been open about my GI issues and had even been on leave from work while they were investigated. I appreciate that they are kind kids. Another time I beelined home and was feet from the door when I didn't quite make it. I felt the release and the horror of realizing there was now a small amount of poop in my underwear. Of course I didn't want to believe it and didn't fully until once in the bathroom I was able to lower my pants and inspect the damage. I threw those underwear away. And ever since I live in fear of a much worse repeat so I'm exploring the idea of heavier protection at least for those days when I wake up with a wicked stomach.

What is FI?

 

[Eclectic]

What is FI?

My guess would be fecal incontinence.

 

[IncontinentBro]

I had Korean BBQ the night before a flight this week, and when I landed back home decided to stop at Costco to shop. As I got out of the car, an apparent fart decided it had other plans and I had a full BM movement. Given I was already there, I tightened my belt, did a sniff test, and charged for the warehouse to complete my mission. Sure I could've handled a change in the restroom there, but the amount of smell and disposal versus chalking it up to a quick in/out mission didn't seem worth the risk of cleanup. My least favorite moment, and I hope nobody noticed.

 

[WarmAndSquishy]

One holiday weekend a couple years ago, I slept over at my aunt and uncles house. I had only very sporadic bed wetting at the time so I wasn’t wearing diapers. I ended up soaking his bed. Me and my ex boyfriend left in the morning before anyone had woken up, but I also was too embarrassed to tell him or anyone.

So I left their house without telling them about the bed and hoped they would think it was their new dog. I also then sat in wet leggings for about 3 hours in the car until I broke down crying and told my ex boyfriend.

 

[richard3]

I don't think there's just ONE time that beats the rest. Depends on when you ask me and what I remember. Here are the one's that most often make me cringe, shall we say.

1) You'd think this one would be easy since it wasn't out in public or at school or some place. Driving home from Christmas shopping once. Mom insisted I wait till we got home despite my pleading. Five mins from home I lost the fight and peed in my pants in the car, just between mom and me. I was 13 so it was pretty embarrassing. I started to cry. Mother was angry at first but eased up on me later.

2) My bedwetting days ran from mostly age 10 to just after 13. Was I glad when they ended. Then, almost two years later I wake up on my 15th birthday in a wet bed. Fortunately this didn't last too long but it was super humiliating.