Raven801 said:
I'm going to keep it more simple this post long story short due to medical issues and things in life at this point I am struggling with depression in a big way. I have scared myself with my own thoughts and have come very near the edge. Much closer than I care to admit. And on that note I was going to self commit at a ER ....I made it to the parking lot and couldn't make myself go in...I just couldn't. Because I was worried how I would be treated and how my IC would be handled it's embarrassing and I didn't want to be a burden to anyone. And the iceing on the cake is I'm considered a fall risk in hospitals and that creates some unpleasant issues and at times I'm in enough pain and weak enough taking care of myself is extremely difficult or not possible sometimes I'm so mentally exhausted I just don't care to take care of myself. My depression is a rollercoaster and on my other post a lot of people made some very nice posts but I think I made it a little long winded and wasn't very clear on what I was looking for. So what was your experience negative or positive and was it helpful? How were your own physical issues handled ? If your incontinent was it handled with dignity and respect? Do you know what it's like ? Any input is appreciated and I thank you all in advance.
This is a hard thing to ask and to deal with but...
I’m glad you were brave enough to share this.
I was born with severe scoliosis and a club foot. My peers, especially those a grade above me, were merciless to me on a daily basis through the 8th grade. I wore a back and foot brace until then.
A year, I pretty much overcame all that with great parents and living on a farm.
I was able to purse my childhood dream of being a professional pilot.
But in my mid 30’s my life fell apart but it’s a very long story I’ve shared before on here.
After losing my career , part medical, and then major depression, my desire to live was gone!
That was in 1994. My entire identity, every bit, was in my being a pilot. When I lost that I was devastated.
Thankfully, with Gods help and hard work, my identity in Christ was created.
Yet, for the last decade chronic pain in my upper back has made it difficult. Especially the last sixteen months after my PA at the pain clinic got her panties in a wad as I tried to address some mistakes and assumptions of a few staff. I was dropped as a patient without ever me nasty, cussing or threats.
Then a series of Twilight Zone” snafu’s by staff at two other clinics I was running out of options.
Finally today I think things will be better.
Anyway, I have had nearly a hundred voluntary admissions to various units the last 20+ years.
I ALWAYS take a suitcase with me packed with what I hope is enough diapers to last my estimated stay. A few times a friend had to come to my place and get a bag and bring them to me.
Most, not all, units have the very cheap diapers to provide but those don’t even begin to work for me!
Staff has always been great.
You mentioned your health issues, and trouble caring for your self. If you are indicating you may need help changing, it’s extremely unlikely the staff, nurses or techs, will assist you unless you can demonstrate ti the admitting doctor that you need help.
One time, in 1999, I went in patient shortly after being discharged from the hospital after two extensive back surgeries. I was weak and in a lot of pain. It was obvious to staff I needed some help. But I what they preferred, and I was able to do, wax to get the used one off mostly myself and then posing myself on the new one and pull between my legs and cover my genital area. I mainly needed help taping the new one properly.
I hope this helps you not feel quite so desperate. Please, don’t be so afraid you won’t get help.
I totally understand the anxiety that builds as you are trying to go inside!!! I still feel that way for some reason. But once inside, and Er staff start the process, I usually feel a big weight lifted!! I am safe and no longer have to fear impulsive thoughts. Just that goes a long ways to getting stabilized.
I’d you go, I encourage you to be active in groups, going and participating. I discovered that art therapy helps me more than anything. Unless directed otherwise, I enjoy making collages that express what I’m feeling.
The most dramatic one I had found a picture of a crying baby that I put in the middle, surrounded by chaotic scenes depicting various areas of life.
It helped me express how I was feeling derp down inside b
I hope you let us know how you are after your stay, if you go.
Take care
