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SwedishAMAZING said:I have heard alot of users call abdl and diaper fetishism a kink. I googled it, and learned it was some sort af a sexual thing. Can we really be calling it a kink when it developed before I even knew what sex was? Of course it became a part of my sexuality later on, but i was just wondering if someone can tell me how a kink would develope at a young age.
A "fetish" is a man-made object believed to exert supernatural power over people -- e.g. a wooden carving of an animalistic spirit that is worshipped/revered/trusted in its own right, etc.
The first person to use the word "fetish" in its psycho-sexual sense was Alfred Binet, in his 1887 essay, "Le Fétichisme dans l'amour". Here, "fetish" means the same as "paraphilia" (or "kink"): an abnormal sexual attraction to anything other than a heterosexual adult partner. It's a controversial concept! Who decides what is "normal"?!
Paraphilia included foot fetishism, watersports, transvestitism, masochism, sadism, bestiality, paedophilia, and homosexuality. A crazy mish-mash of things that evoke very different emotional responses. Some are trivial, some criminally harmful. Some... just depend which way the wind is blowing. Homosexuality was a sign of "psychopathic personality" in 1935. Now it's neither a fetish nor abnormal (in our parts of the world).
This mish-mash of controversial concepts (sex, sexuality, morality, criminality, social norms, etc.), and arbitrary negative social judgements of "abnormality" makes some people reluctant to identify as a fetishist, even if they technically meet the criteria. As Belarin said:
Belarin said:As I previously said I hate referring to my experience of ABDL as a fetish because of the negative connotations and imagery that brings up in most peoples minds, for those with little understanding of kinks/fetish/ABDL calling it a fetish puts it on the same platform as things like asphyxiophilia/BDSM/corporal punishment/CBT etc. Including some things that really are dangerous or just wierd/freaky/gross to most people.
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Also, I think many people misunderstand what "psycho-sexual" means in the definition of paraphilia: it's the psychological narrative of human sexual identity, in contrast to physical sexual activity.
- A man might be sexually attracted to his wife, but that doesn't mean he rips off her clothes and humps her on sight.
- Transvestitism is a fetish, but men who wear lacy underwear under their business suit aren't seeking an orgasm.
- People with foot-fetishes don't try to copulate with feet.
- Diaper-fetishists don't foam at the mouth and ejaculate when they see a baby wearing a diaper.
Psycho-sexual narratives relate to our identity as sexual beings, not to physical sex acts.
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Many ABDLs reject the sexual-connotations of having a fetish. ABs might even identifying as being "asexual" during age-play. But the absence of sexual desire is still part of someone's psycho-sexual identity.
And if cross-dressing is a fetish, then it's not a big leap to say that ageplay-dressing must be too...?
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For some of us, wearing certain clothes gives us butterflies in the stomach, or a downstairs tingle. For others, peeing/pooping stimulates our sexual organs, releasing "feel-good" endorphins in the brain. And others like to experience fantasies/roleplays of submission, humiliation or domination. These are all fetishes.
Such feelings/experiences can happen before puberty, and aren't directly related to sexual activity... Yet they affect our psycho-sexual identity as adults.
So... personally I think ABDL is pretty-much a textbook case of a paraphilia/fetish/kink.