Is it my Autism or because I'm an ABDL???

[tobid03]

I'm 25 too, and I have Aspergers. I think there is some level of connection but in the way that my Aspergers makes me childish and that childishness fits in nicely with being little. I also don't like scary things. If I hear or see anything scary, I have to sleep with my lights on like a baby.

I used to (still do) watch kids shows way beyond the age-appropriateness because I liked to watch childrens' programming in blocks. I never got bored even though I was "learning" counting at 8. I slept with my stuffie throughout elementary, stopped to be more "grown-up," then started again in college (went to college to grow-up and grow-down ).

I think sex is weird and disgusting, the touching of 2 people's private parts. Sex-ed opened a whole new realm. (Not hating on those who like it. ) I can't see myself getting into a relationship and wanting to have sex. It would be like scheduled if it happens at all. I know about sex and all the sex-ed, but my mind on sex is somewhere right before sex-ed.

The only relationship I can see myself getting in is with someone else who would be both accepting and supportive, but I don't see that happening since I'd have to self-disclose with uncertain results. A caregiving relationship would be a plus, but I'd feel guilty for taking so much without giving back.

I'm too selfish to split my time from my special interests and littleness to give someone what they would deserve in a relationship. I'm planning to be a single little kid for the rest of my life.

For most of my life, I've felt that "adulthood" is a set of boring, arbitrary rules. Kind of my thought process: Why have these drab and boring curtains, bedding, and bedroom paint when I can have all these bright children's colors and designs? Or, why do adult things have such boring colors when kids toys have all these bright primary colors? Who decided that adulthood had to be drab and boring? What's wrong with adults watching kid's shows?

 

[Peepeegirl]

I'm 25 too, and I have Aspergers. I think there is some level of connection but in the way that my Aspergers makes me childish and that childishness fits in nicely with being little. I also don't like scary things. If I hear or see anything scary, I have to sleep with my lights on like a baby.

I used to (still do) watch kids shows way beyond the age-appropriateness because I liked to watch childrens' programming in blocks. I never got bored even though I was "learning" counting at 8. I slept with my stuffie throughout elementary, stopped to be more "grown-up," then started again in college (went to college to grow-up and grow-down ).

I think sex is weird and disgusting, the touching of 2 people's private parts. Sex-ed opened a whole new realm. (Not hating on those who like it. ) I can't see myself getting into a relationship and wanting to have sex. It would be like scheduled if it happens at all. I know about sex and all the sex-ed, but my mind on sex is somewhere right before sex-ed.

The only relationship I can see myself getting in is with someone else who would be both accepting and supportive, but I don't see that happening since I'd have to self-disclose with uncertain results. A caregiving relationship would be a plus, but I'd feel guilty for taking so much without giving back.

I'm too selfish to split my time from my special interests and littleness to give someone what they would deserve in a relationship. I'm planning to be a single little kid for the rest of my life.

For most of my life, I've felt that "adulthood" is a set of boring, arbitrary rules. Kind of my thought process: Why have these drab and boring curtains, bedding, and bedroom paint when I can have all these bright children's colors and designs? Or, why do adult things have such boring colors when kids toys have all these bright primary colors? Who decided that adulthood had to be drab and boring? What's wrong with adults watching kid's shows?

Agreed

 

[BundleOfJoy]

This world is messed up, well the bible tells us not to be like the world, so here I go, I'm already half way there!

 

[tobid03]

I'm 25 too, and I have Aspergers. I think there is some level of connection but in the way that my Aspergers makes me childish and that childishness fits in nicely with being little. I also don't like scary things. If I hear or see anything scary, I have to sleep with my lights on like a baby.

I used to (still do) watch kids shows way beyond the age-appropriateness because I liked to watch childrens' programming in blocks. I never got bored even though I was "learning" counting at 8. I slept with my stuffie throughout elementary, stopped to be more "grown-up," then started again in college (went to college to grow-up and grow-down ).

I think sex is weird and disgusting, the touching of 2 people's private parts. Sex-ed opened a whole new realm. (Not hating on those who like it. ) I can't see myself getting into a relationship and wanting to have sex. It would be like scheduled if it happens at all. I know about sex and all the sex-ed, but my mind on sex is somewhere right before sex-ed.

The only relationship I can see myself getting in is with someone else who would be both accepting and supportive, but I don't see that happening since I'd have to self-disclose with uncertain results. A caregiving relationship would be a plus, but I'd feel guilty for taking so much without giving back.

I'm too selfish to split my time from my special interests and littleness to give someone what they would deserve in a relationship. I'm planning to be a single little kid for the rest of my life.

For most of my life, I've felt that "adulthood" is a set of boring, arbitrary rules. Kind of my thought process: Why have these drab and boring curtains, bedding, and bedroom paint when I can have all these bright children's colors and designs? Or, why do adult things have such boring colors when kids toys have all these bright primary colors? Who decided that adulthood had to be drab and boring? What's wrong with adults watching kid's shows?

Also, the autistic desire for sameness and routine fed into watching children's TV shows in a routine without caring about what age it was for.

If there was no internet, I would probably be playing with my childhood toys as much as I did when I was a child, but the internet opens a whole new world.

 

[caitianx]

Loved I bought two this week but the are little

My next BIG plushie will be purchased in December of 2021.

Also, the autistic desire for sameness and routine fed into watching children's TV shows in a routine without caring about what age it was for.

If there was no internet, I would probably be playing with my childhood toys as much as I did when I was a child, but the internet opens a whole new world.

I myself as an Autistic Senior Citizen needs very rigid routines to maintain a sense of structure and order.
Chores are done at specific times of the day.
Special Interests are done on specific days and times.
A rigidly adhered-to nap time and a bed time.
Of course the same for meals.
Plus television watching times.
Anyway, too specific times to engage in "Little Time" to regress to childhood and play with my toys.

 

[BundleOfJoy]

I find I need a routine in a way and changes can upset me but I can cope

 

[caitianx]

I find I need a routine in a way and changes can upset me but I can cope

Even at my age of 62, changes in routine upset me too.

 

[John277]

Your question is actually a very good question though the answer is probably fairly nuanced and cannot be answered as simply “yes“ or “no”. I’m actually a medical professional who is trained in mental health and also have struggled with some of these things myself. I’ll apologize up front because my answer is going to be a bit long and include more information than you might be wanting. However, I want to post this so anyone who has questions in the future can find information here.

First of all, we need to keep in mind that mental health symptoms, just like physical symptoms, can manifest differently in different people; even though they have the same disease process (e.g.., a person getting a heart attack doesn’t always have chest pain and may have back pain or no pain at all). Also, the same symptoms can be caused by different diseases (e.g., chest pain could be a heart attack, acid reflux, pneumonia, or many other things). So a person who has autism can have many different symptoms; to the point that we often say no 2 autistic people are alike. Similarly, autism is not caused by just one thing. It can be caused by a variety of disease that affect the brain or it can just be an inherited neurological difference. Some people can be very impaired and some can function very well (and even more confusing is that the diagnosis changes over time and not everyone agrees what symptoms should count towards the diagnosis and what shouldn’t). The same principle applies to ABDL; everyone is different and may have different reasons for engaging in different behaviors. With that in mind, we can make at least a few points that answer your question. Some people with Asperger’s or autism are part of the ABDL community and their autism symptoms may be influencing their decision to engage in certain behaviors. Keep in mind that these behaviors have not been studied well so we don’t have a lot of research here. However, there are some indications that ABDL and ASD are likely be related in some people.

I’ll explain briefly. First, we have research that says if you are autistic your are much more likely to engage in behaviors outside of the cultural norm. This includes things such as sexual fetishes, kinks (may not be sexual), and intense “special interests” (sometimes socially acceptable and sometimes not). Also, ASD individuals have much higher rates of sexual orientation/gender differences such as being homosexual or transgender. In short, having ASD dramatically increases your risk of developing a behavior that is outside the social norm (though this in no way is to say that ALL autistic are like this - to my knowledge most don’t do these things, but the risk of having it is much higher - likely directly or indirectly due to the brain changes associated with autism).

The second point comes from anecdotal evidence that some clinicians and even store owners of ABDL products have noticed a correlation between the two. To my knowledge there are no quantitative studies on this yet. But the fact that it is being noticed spontaneously by laypeople and clinicians who specialize in this suggests it is very likely to be related in at least some autistic individuals. Finally, there are at least some symptoms of ASD that could rationally lead to ABDL behaviors. Here are some examples. Some autistic people have difficulty regulating their emotional or sensory environment, and to avoid meltdowns, may seek ways to calm/regulate themselves (sometimes in socially unusual ways). They may, for instance, develop an attachment to diapers due to an emotional calming effect it has when wearing them or even due to a sensory experience (e.g., they may like the feeling of wearing diapers or like to touch the plastic). Autistic people also have a tendency to develop intense and sometimes unusual “special interests”.

Another interesting point is that a person with autism can have seemingly paradoxical cognitive or emotional coping skills. For example, they may appear developmentally “delayed” in one area while at the same time having other traits that make them appear more mature than average or even higher functioning than others. This kind of seeming contradiction is not uncommon in Asperger’s adults and kids. For instance, some autistic people might be emotionally less mature (e.g., tend to have “meltdowns” when they get overloaded or overstimulated). Thay may drawn to wearing diapers as a way of regulating their emotions or remembering the peace or safety they felt when they were kids. This might be comparable to a child who uses a blanket as a “transitional object” (an object that can provide a feeling of safety when they aren’t near mom or dad- it is a less mature way of regulating their emotions and when they get older they may use more cognitive coping skills instead of an object). Autistic people also sometimes have a high degree of creativity and tendency to think outside the box or to not follow social norms. This may suggest that they engage in wearing a diaper both because they don’t tie themselves down to social norms and because they are better at “imaginary play” than most adults; and thus are more likely to use it to calm themselves.

So the short answer here is: ABDL behaviors are probably caused or at least indirectly related to Autism in SOME individuals. There is definitely more that could be said on this but this answer is already too long. Hopefully this helps anyone who is wondering about this.

 

[caitianx]

Being Autistic, I am in may ways adult in taking care of my own needs to be independent and living in the community here in Derry, New Hampshire instead of an institution.
Yet, I am in a way exceptionally immature.
I need my baby toys and plushies to keep me cognitively/emotionally stable and functional.

 

[ABDElsa]

Your question is actually a very good question though the answer is probably fairly nuanced and cannot be answered as simply “yes“ or “no”. I’m actually a medical professional who is trained in mental health and also have struggled with some of these things myself. I’ll apologize up front because my answer is going to be a bit long and include more information than you might be wanting. However, I want to post this so anyone who has questions in the future can find information here.

First of all, we need to keep in mind that mental health symptoms, just like physical symptoms, can manifest differently in different people; even though they have the same disease process (e.g.., a person getting a heart attack doesn’t always have chest pain and may have back pain or no pain at all). Also, the same symptoms can be caused by different diseases (e.g., chest pain could be a heart attack, acid reflux, pneumonia, or many other things). So a person who has autism can have many different symptoms; to the point that we often say no 2 autistic people are alike. Similarly, autism is not caused by just one thing. It can be caused by a variety of disease that affect the brain or it can just be an inherited neurological difference. Some people can be very impaired and some can function very well (and even more confusing is that the diagnosis changes over time and not everyone agrees what symptoms should count towards the diagnosis and what shouldn’t). The same principle applies to ABDL; everyone is different and may have different reasons for engaging in different behaviors. With that in mind, we can make at least a few points that answer your question. Some people with Asperger’s or autism are part of the ABDL community and their autism symptoms may be influencing their decision to engage in certain behaviors. Keep in mind that these behaviors have not been studied well so we don’t have a lot of research here. However, there are some indications that ABDL and ASD are likely be related in some people.

I’ll explain briefly. First, we have research that says if you are autistic your are much more likely to engage in behaviors outside of the cultural norm. This includes things such as sexual fetishes, kinks (may not be sexual), and intense “special interests” (sometimes socially acceptable and sometimes not). Also, ASD individuals have much higher rates of sexual orientation/gender differences such as being homosexual or transgender. In short, having ASD dramatically increases your risk of developing a behavior that is outside the social norm (though this in no way is to say that ALL autistic are like this - to my knowledge most don’t do these things, but the risk of having it is much higher - likely directly or indirectly due to the brain changes associated with autism).

The second point comes from anecdotal evidence that some clinicians and even store owners of ABDL products have noticed a correlation between the two. To my knowledge there are no quantitative studies on this yet. But the fact that it is being noticed spontaneously by laypeople and clinicians who specialize in this suggests it is very likely to be related in at least some autistic individuals. Finally, there are at least some symptoms of ASD that could rationally lead to ABDL behaviors. Here are some examples. Some autistic people have difficulty regulating their emotional or sensory environment, and to avoid meltdowns, may seek ways to calm/regulate themselves (sometimes in socially unusual ways). They may, for instance, develop an attachment to diapers due to an emotional calming effect it has when wearing them or even due to a sensory experience (e.g., they may like the feeling of wearing diapers or like to touch the plastic). Autistic people also have a tendency to develop intense and sometimes unusual “special interests”.

Another interesting point is that a person with autism can have seemingly paradoxical cognitive or emotional coping skills. For example, they may appear developmentally “delayed” in one area while at the same time having other traits that make them appear more mature than average or even higher functioning than others. This kind of seeming contradiction is not uncommon in Asperger’s adults and kids. For instance, some autistic people might be emotionally less mature (e.g., tend to have “meltdowns” when they get overloaded or overstimulated). Thay may drawn to wearing diapers as a way of regulating their emotions or remembering the peace or safety they felt when they were kids. This might be comparable to a child who uses a blanket as a “transitional object” (an object that can provide a feeling of safety when they aren’t near mom or dad- it is a less mature way of regulating their emotions and when they get older they may use more cognitive coping skills instead of an object). Autistic people also sometimes have a high degree of creativity and tendency to think outside the box or to not follow social norms. This may suggest that they engage in wearing a diaper both because they don’t tie themselves down to social norms and because they are better at “imaginary play” than most adults; and thus are more likely to use it to calm themselves.

So the short answer here is: ABDL behaviors are probably caused or at least indirectly related to Autism in SOME individuals. There is definitely more that could be said on this but this answer is already too long. Hopefully this helps anyone who is wondering about this.

Thank you so much for your very informative answer.

 

[ABDElsa]

Being Autistic, I am in may ways adult in taking care of my own needs to be independent and living in the community here in Derry, New Hampshire instead of an institution.
Yet, I am in a way exceptionally immature.
I need my baby toys and plushies to keep me cognitively/emotionally stable and functional.

IKR? Me too!

 

[caitianx]

Internally there are two of me...
Adult Me.
Little Me.
In many ways, "Little Me", my Inner Child is cognitively fused on the outside instead of being hidden and secret.

 

[Weatheronthe8s]

I am autistic and feel that some parts of it all can come from both sides. Even though I'm considered high functioning, I do get overwhelmed rather easily in stressful situations, and during these times, I do end up temporarily regressing unintentionally. I cry and feel very insecure. I think my emotional sensitivity may have more to do with autism for me along with just how I am. I often also just feel exhausted from daily activities due to me not yet having the independence I need. As a result, I often need comfort due to that along with helping my poor mental health. This is part of why I cuddle with my teddy bear so much. As for my ABDL side, I feel that my teddy bear specifically being my biggest comfort object may have something related to that. I often talk to her and have imaginary conversations with her to help build my self esteem and things. For diapers, I think it is mainly from being a DL. However, it may also be an autistic comfort item for me, albeit I use them much more sparingly for reasons. I think parts of my personality kinda stem from both sides. I don't like conflict and try to be sweet and caring. I feel like others have tried to ruin my personality over the years though, partially as a result of being autistic. I'm trying to get it back though. Either way, I feel as my ABDL side and my autism can kinda blur themselves a bit. Every autistic person is different though, so yeah.

 

[ABDElsa]

I'm autistic and was born autistic , diagnosed at 2, told at 8 . I didn't stop wearing diapers until 4-5 years old . Now I wear once a week . As far as abdl and autism goes .... my mom thinks abdl is a phase of extreme interest for me . She thinks it will pass eventually . Me, idk about that. I've always been a kid inside . I can't drive and I'm 28 this year in just a few months . My daddy requires I learn to drive and move to him because he is psychically unable to come to me because he's in a wheelchair . It's hard to imagine freedom and driving on scary roads with drunks and such but I figure if I don't drive at night unless I have to , it should come easily . So maybe autism has a slight obsessive behavior to it that makes abdl appealing . But like I said to me it isn't a phase , and I get real mad and stomp my foot when people say it's a phase to love diapers . And that just because I found abdl on the internet that someone made me find it and now I know about it and according to my mother I'd of been vanilla if I hadn't found the lifestyle otherwise . My obsessions would be elsewhere . Me? I don't honestly care about what she thinks , she's 53 and I'm 28 . The key word : 28. I may live under her roof but my room is my own and I pay bills to live at home because it's cheaper then renting a apartment . So for me a pack of 15 crinklz or rearz
Or Megamax a month is NOT ridiculous as she thinks it is

I was once in your shoes. I still am in some places like living at home with my Dad, but I finally got my driver's license and can drive myself anywhere I want! Driving did seem scary to me at first but I was tired of getting driven around and taking the bus! Once I starte, the more I did it the easier it got. I'm 26 and still cannot afford to live on my own yet but I can't wait until I can because then I can have my own private nursery and be ABDL all the time at home not just when I'm home alone while my Dad is at work. I'll tell what my Mom always tells me "one step at a time just take baby steps" (no pun intended). It kinda sucks how much our Autism holds us back sometimes but even without it it'd still be hard because most of our generation can't afford to live on our own anymore because of how expensive everything is. So, it's not just the Autism that makes independence hard.

 

[BabyBluePup]

I've been diagnosed as autistic when I was 2. I wasn't even out of diapers until I was about 4 and a half. By the time I said more sentences when I was like 5, some people thought that I could probably go to college. Although that was a huge if back then. I still watched Nick Jr and PBS Kids shows until I was about 10. 13 years later and I graduated from high school, although I wasn't really proud of it because I missed some of my friends in my special ed classes and I had to hide myself from most people. I wasn't fond of my adolescent years since they were very sad for me.

My parents were okay with me being into diapers and stuff. But it made me wish I went to somebody to talk about it when I was younger. I don't really feel as proud with being autistic as much since it's kinda like a Kick Me sign. Even though there were a bunch of autistic kids in all of my schools, including my college. But I felt like I was the only ABDL where I live because I've never met another one in real life. So it wasn't like I could sympathize with a lot of other people when I felt like they would make fun of me. It makes me wish there was something that would make me feel more comfortable with being around others in certain places.

 

[caitianx]

I've been diagnosed as autistic when I was 2. I wasn't even out of diapers until I was about 4 and a half. By the time I said more sentences when I was like 5, some people thought that I could probably go to college. Although that was a huge if back then. I still watched Nick Jr and PBS Kids shows until I was about 10. 13 years later and I graduated from high school, although I wasn't really proud of it because I missed some of my friends in my special ed classes and I had to hide myself from most people. I wasn't fond of my adolescent years since they were very sad for me.

My parents were okay with me being into diapers and stuff. But it made me wish I went to somebody to talk about it when I was younger. I don't really feel as proud with being autistic as much since it's kinda like a Kick Me sign. Even though there were a bunch of autistic kids in all of my schools, including my college. But I felt like I was the only ABDL where I live because I've never met another one in real life. So it wasn't like I could sympathize with a lot of other people when I felt like they would make fun of me. It makes me wish there was something that would make me feel more comfortable with being around others in certain places.

I admit that I thought for years that I was the ony person who liked to wear diapers and be a baby again.
It is good to find others like me here who are also autistic like me.
There was no special ed when I was in elementary school decades ago.
I was mainstreamed, and I was ruthlessly forced to "act normal".

 

[Weatheronthe8s]

I admit that I thought for years that I was the ony person who liked to wear diapers and be a baby again.
It is good to find others like me here who are also autistic like me.
There was no special ed when I was in elementary school decades ago.
I was mainstreamed, and I was ruthlessly forced to "act normal".

I pretty much also thought this, but as a kid, I didn’t give it all that much thought. I’m honestly really happy to know I’m not the only one though. I was never in actual special Ed. However, I did receive speech therapy as I was considered not talkative enough and supposedly pointed at everything. Other than that, I supposedly got some coordination training as I have never had very good coordination. I had no problem with this. Then apart from that though, I was pretty much forced to act normal. Then, my mom took me to some place when I was like 9 and tried to force me to stop stimming and put me in oxygen chambers and gave me probiotics and enzymes. That was a really confusing time for me, and I think it may have done something to me because that is around the time I remember my self esteem issues and anger issues starting. I have no idea exactly what caused it though. Stuff like this is why I wish us autistic people could just be accepted for who we are instead of being treated like some experiment.

 

[BobbiSueEllen]

For all that I went through in K-12, it was worth it just to get that damn diploma. I was the first person in my immediate and extended families to graduate high school. I fought hard for that diploma...and won it. Special-Ed teachers fought to get me into their classes which, at my particular school, were a total joke. As was their so-called 'instructors'. I fought them and won. Despite everyone knowing about my issue without a name, I mainstreamed. Also, to everyone's astonishment--students, school faculty and even family--I got my driver's license at 16.

Despite being constantly called "retard" and "failure". Despite being told I couldn't do it, never would achieve it and shouldn't even try. I showed them.

After I got my diploma, shifted my tassel, threw my cap and recovered it...I walked out and away. My classmates don't know if I'm alive or dead...and I can (and do) live better with that.

 

[ABDElsa]

I admit that I thought for years that I was the ony person who liked to wear diapers and be a baby again.
It is good to find others like me here who are also autistic like me.
There was no special ed when I was in elementary school decades ago.
I was mainstreamed, and I was ruthlessly forced to "act normal".

Yeah I thought something was wrong with me for me for years because I really liked Diapers in my teens and desired to wear them again. As I got older I slowly started discovering the ABDL community and suddenly I didn't feel so alone and no longer felt something was wrong with me.