I'm regretting this extreme binge...please help.

[ShyGirl91]

Today is Cyber Monday. I decided to go to my favorite online store and proceeded to make the single most insanely ridiculous binge/splurge I've had to date at one time.

My parts were so excited about what they will soon get but once the transaction went through, I suddenly felt sick and had a panic attack.

Thoughts like, "How could you do this?", "You can't afford this, wtf were you thinking?", "How stupid can you be?", "You should feel ashamed", "You should feel guilty for enjoying any of this that you just bought", "God is angry at you", "God is going to take your parts away from you because of this", "You went overboard and this is a problem and God is going to take your parts away", etc.

And I feel like bawling. I do want to feel free to enjoy these items even though I had no business doing what I did. I'm trying to move in the next year. I haven't touched my savings and am just paying what I can on the credit card.

I'm trying to get out of this town. Life is shaky and unstable and feels way out of control right now. Not that I can control every aspect of my life. Just feels so unstable. My emotions, my lack of routine in the big change that's happened in my world, and in trying not to break sobriety and keep clean from alcohol and drugs, I end up doing stuff like this...binging on stuff I don't need. It's like it's own high.

Has anyone else spun out of control in binging and regretted it? Had thoughts like this? If so, did you ever end up enjoying what you bought despite the splurge?

 

[mistykitty]

@ShyGirl91 Definitely something I've done before. I'm almost in the same exact boat because I'm trying to move from where I currently am to. Problem is I credit card in shopping therapy a lot to, it makes you excited temporarily and gives something to look forward to but it can be trouble. You are definitely not alone in this. And yes I've done it to the extent that i've felt like crying or have actually cried as well to.

 

[mistykitty]

@ShyGirl91 Two things that helped me, remove any card autofill stuff so it's not just click and pay because it makes you pause and type before you buy. Also consider making your card for emergency use only for a while and try to plan out some kind of spending budget. I have 2 separate ones one for my credit card and one for my account, it doesn't always stop me but they definitely help. Hope this helps some.

 

[ShyGirl91]

@ShyGirl91 Definitely something I've done before. I'm almost in the same exact boat because I'm trying to move from where I currently am to. Problem is I credit card in shopping therapy a lot to, it makes you excited temporarily and gives something to look forward to but it can be trouble. You are definitely not alone in this. And yes I've done it to the extent that i've felt like crying or have actually cried as well to.

It's nice to know I'm not alone. thank you for your encouragement and support.

 

[Cottontail]

I'm trying to get out of this town. Life is shaky and unstable and feels way out of control right now. Not that I can control every aspect of my life. Just feels so unstable. My emotions, my lack of routine in the big change that's happened in my world, and in trying not to break sobriety and keep clean from alcohol and drugs, I end up doing stuff like this...binging on stuff I don't need. It's like it's own high.

Has anyone else spun out of control in binging and regretted it? Had thoughts like this? If so, did you ever end up enjoying what you bought despite the splurge?

Oh absolutely! And not just with stuff like diapers, but with pretty much all of my hobbies. It doesn't sound like this is something you do frequently, so I'm inclined to see it as innocent. The saddest thing at this point would be getting all the stuff you ordered and not enjoying it! (Plus, enjoying it is probably the best way to avoid wanting/buying more stuff in the near future.) Please try not to beat yourself up.

 

[ShyGirl91]

@ShyGirl91 Two things that helped me, remove any card autofill stuff so it's not just click and pay because it makes you pause and type before you buy. Also consider making your card for emergency use only for a while and try to plan out some kind of spending budget. I have 2 separate ones one for my credit card and one for my account, it doesn't always stop me but they definitely help. Hope this helps some.

Those are great ideas! Thank you!

 

[ShyGirl91]

Oh absolutely! And not just with stuff like diapers, but with pretty much all of my hobbies. It doesn't sound like this is something you do frequently, so I'm inclined to see it as innocent. The saddest thing at this point would be getting all the stuff you ordered and not enjoying it! (Plus, enjoying it is probably the best way to avoid wanting/buying more stuff in the near future.) Please try not to beat yourself up.

Thank you, @Cottontail that's true! Hopefully once the initial what-have-I-just-done wears off, enjoyment will come! I can still feel excitement about it. And, thank you for the encouragement.

 

[mistykitty]

I also agree with everything @Cottontail said it's not worth beating yourself up, try to focus more on the positive aspect of things and the excitement because that lessens the guilt. Like they said the real crime would be not enjoying it after getting it all.

 

[mistykitty]

My biggest thing is plushies, i can overspend on build a bear and amazon easily.

 

[ShyGirl91]

My biggest thing is plushies, i can overspend on build a bear and amazon easily.

Oh man, I felt a light dopamine high just reading that!

 

[Bearcatz]

First, breathe

Can you cancel it or return anything perhaps? If not, did whatever you bought cover anything else you'd usually spend? Maybe it's not that bad.

Look at the bigger picture too to cut back and make up the difference. You can probably cut back on a cell phone or internet bill somewhere. There's probably stuff you can turn off more often than just leave on to save electricity. I bet there's some pointless snacks or sodas you probably think you should stop having anyway.

I totally understand saving to move. I starved almost literally for years cutting back everything to save every cent I could to move I wanted out so bad. lol

 

[Raven801]

I go through this every time I buy something....semi expensive...even if I have been planning it ... don't know why I always get like super stressed and anxious.....don't know why so I understand. Hopefully you can relax and simply calm down...and if you figure out how please tell me how !lol

 

[dogboy]

Suffering from depression, I'm well aware that I'll sometimes buy things I don't really need, just to get rid of the depression. I've bought plenty of adult baby clothes only to throw them out because I don't wear them.

If I'm looking forward to buying something expensive, I'll get excited over it, research it again and again just to fill up the empty space in my life. I understand this so if it's expensive, I'll wait and give it some time to see if I still want it. That doesn't always work however but the expensive things I've bought, I continue to get a lot of enjoyment from them so I think they were a good purchases.

 

[Rusher]

Oh man, I felt a light dopamine high just reading that!

It happens before we were more working together. We spent 5000.00 in an afternoon.
The credit cards got locked up for a long time.

 

[ShyGirl91]

First, breathe

Can you cancel it or return anything perhaps? If not, did whatever you bought cover anything else you'd usually spend? Maybe it's not that bad.

Look at the bigger picture too to cut back and make up the difference. You can probably cut back on a cell phone or internet bill somewhere. There's probably stuff you can turn off more often than just leave on to save electricity. I bet there's some pointless snacks or sodas you probably think you should stop having anyway.

I totally understand saving to move. I starved almost literally for years cutting back everything to save every cent I could to move I wanted out so bad. lol

Thank you. Yes, I will see what I can do to tighten things up and protect myself from making anymore unnecessary purchases.

I hope you made it out from where you were saving to move to!

 

[Deleted member 74559]

One way of looking at something like this is to say "ok, that was a <name the dollar value> mistake". Like if I wreck a blender by doing something dumb without enough water in it, and the new blender costs $300, I can say to myself "ok, that was a $300 mistake". Or if I drop my phone on purpose because I'm so proud of the case and I'm sure the case will protect it and I'm just showing off, and it shatters, I can say "ok, that was a $600 mistake".

Yes those are both real examples from my life ;-) I mean heck. Stuff happens. You don't go through life without dumb stuff happening.

Somehow naming the dollar value kind of helps me move past "this is horrible, this is the worst thing in the world, I have made a mistake that can never be fixed" and it helps me get to "ok. This has a solution. This is costlier than some mistakes I could have made; it's less costly than others. It may be big, it may be small, but it's not infinite. It has a definite size and this is what it is gonna take to get past this. OK. I can do this."

I am not sure if that helps but I hope it does. Best of luck!!

 

[ShyGirl91]

I go through this every time I buy something....semi expensive...even if I have been planning it ... don't know why I always get like super stressed and anxious.....don't know why so I understand. Hopefully you can relax and simply calm down...and if you figure out how please tell me how !lol

I will let you know for sure!

 

[ShyGirl91]

Suffering from depression, I'm well aware that I'll sometimes buy things I don't really need, just to get rid of the depression. I've bought plenty of adult baby clothes only to throw them out because I don't wear them.

If I'm looking forward to buying something expensive, I'll get excited over it, research it again and again just to fill up the empty space in my life. I understand this so if it's expensive, I'll wait and give it some time to see if I still want it. That doesn't always work however but the expensive things I've bought, I continue to get a lot of enjoyment from them so I think they were a good purchases.

Yessss, this makes so much sense!

 

[ShyGirl91]

It happens before we were more working together. We spent 5000.00 in an afternoon.
The credit cards got locked up for a long time.

Yes, it can happen so fast. I'm thankful this spree wasn't 5k. While it sucks having binges, I'm glad to know I'm not alone.

 

[ShyGirl91]

One way of looking at something like this is to say "ok, that was a <name the dollar value> mistake". Like if I wreck a blender by doing something dumb without enough water in it, and the new blender costs $300, I can say to myself "ok, that was a $300 mistake". Or if I drop my phone on purpose because I'm so proud of the case and I'm sure the case will protect it and I'm just showing off, and it shatters, I can say "ok, that was a $600 mistake".

Yes those are both real examples from my life ;-) I mean heck. Stuff happens. You don't go through life without dumb stuff happening.

Somehow naming the dollar value kind of helps me move past "this is horrible, this is the worst thing in the world, I have made a mistake that can never be fixed" and it helps me get to "ok. This has a solution. This is costlier than some mistakes I could have made; it's less costly than others. It may be big, it may be small, but it's not infinite. It has a definite size and this is what it is gonna take to get past this. OK. I can do this."

I am not sure if that helps but I hope it does. Best of luck!!

Yes, that does help! Thank you! You're right. This isn't infinite. Just felt like it after the transaction happened. But I can do this.